We Carved Our Love In Oak: Part 8
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Jensen throws the money onto the counter and picks up the box of cigarettes, pulling off the plastic wrapping and putting one between his lips as soon as he’s outside.
He lights it and takes a slow drag, both hating the fact he’s smoking and relieved at the same time. Thinks he’ll have to go about quitting sometime.
He walks slowly back to the motel room, taking time to glance in store windows and to watch the people that pass him. There’s a couple entwined in each other leaning against a brick wall and Jensen skirts around them, keeps his eyes downcast and picks up the pace a little to get back.
He stops in the motel car park. Inside their room the light is on and Jared’s truck is back.
He finishes his cigarette and crushes it against the ground, considers staying out here for a while longer before biting the bullet and pushing the door open.
Jared stands up as soon as he’s through the door and Jensen stands there awkwardly, not sure what to say.
Jensen comes forward and stops a few meters away, head ducked a little and his shoulders slumped. His demeanor alone feels like a kick to the gut, and Jensen wants to step forward and tell him to forget about all of this, that everything is okay and Jensen isn’t mad.
Jared shifts from foot to foot and Jensen realizes there’s something in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Jared says, holding a book out, his arm wavering in the air. He swallows hard and he looks pale, tired, dark shadows beneath his eyes.
Jensen’s not sure what he should do, why Jared’s got a book in his hands or where he even managed to get it at eleven at night. He’s not sure what any of this means, but he’s reaching out and taking the book before he’s even realized he’s made his decision.
The Catcher In The Rye. Jensen’s not sure why Jared chose this one, but it feels like more than just a ratty book in his hands.
“You know I fucking hate Holden Caulfield, right?”
There’s a pause where Jared’s just staring at him, eyebrows drawn tight, before a grin breaks out on his face and Jensen can feel himself mirroring it. Jared lets out a relieved breath and nods, just once and almost imperceptible, but it’s like he’s accepting Jensen is going to be an asshole about this and yet knows he’s been forgiven.
“Are you okay now, Jared?” Jensen asks.
Jared meets his eyes. “Yeah, Jensen. I just needed a moment to clear my head. I’m good now. I’m great, even.”
“Good,” Jensen says.
Jensen flicks through the pages of his new book, and sits down on his bed to get comfortable.
***
Jensen and Jared both sleep in the next morning, getting up just before twelve and taking advantage of the shower and roof above their heads.
After grabbing some food, they decide to go back to the beach. It's only when they see sight of the ocean that they reconsider their decision, looking warily up at the heavy, dark clouds that are rolling in.
A water droplet lands on Jensen's face and he tilts his head back, looking up at the overcast sky. It’s humid like it always is before a thunderstorm, the air thick, clouds dark and threatening above them. He takes a deep breath and reaches his hands out, palms facing upwards to catch the raindrops as they fall.
Jared nudges his shoulder with his own and turns to face Jared, who’s smiling at him.
Jensen’s got a coiling urge stirring deep within in him, something terrifying and electric. He’s afraid it will leap out without him being able to control it. He’s afraid he’ll take Jared’s face between both hands and kiss him right here on this beach in the rain.
Instead, he runs.
He runs across the sand, the wind blowing through his hair that’s getting longer, beginning to curl behind his ears. His t-shirt ripples in wind, and he grins as he hits the water, splashing through the waves as the rain gets heavier.
“Jensen! Jensen what the fuck are you doing?”
Jared’s voice is almost lost to the sound around him, coming from somewhere behind him on the beach and Jensen feels like he’s been set free, like a bird escaped from its tiny cage.
He turns to Jared with a grin, the rain sounding like bullets around him as it hits the waves.
Jared isn’t standing still anymore, but running across the sand, screaming at the top of his lungs. He splashes through the shallows and swims out towards Jensen with a grin on his face.
The waves move Jensen from side to side and he treads water, can just reach the sand if he points his toes down, feels free.
“You are insane, Jensen Ackles,” Jared breathes, when he reaches him. “Absolutely insane.”
They’re both fully clothed, treading water in the ocean while it rains down around them and Jensen can’t wipe the grin off his face.
Jared splashes him and he laughs as the water comes up and covers him, splashes back at Jared who has an unfair advantage, still able to reach the ocean floor where they stand.
Suddenly they’re close; too close. The smile has gone from Jared’s face and he’s watching Jensen carefully, like he’s seeing something new for the first time.
A droplet of rain trickles down Jared’s lips and his mouth opens the smallest amount. The rain continues to fall down around them and Jensen shivers.
“We should--”
“Yeah,” Jared says, nodding. “Yeah, we should swim back.”
Neither of them are moving, Jensen still treading water beneath the rain as they stare at each other.
A clap of thunder jolts them from their staring and they make a move through the water. They start to swim back, Jensen lagging behind a little as the waves roll and crash against him. Without saying anything, Jared swims close and slips his arm through Jensen’s to help pull him along.
They finally make it onto the damp sand and Jensen heaves himself forward. His clothes feel heavy and weighted and he’s soaked, continuing to get wet as the rain falls.
He’s shivering as they plod along the beach, Jared beside him. They’re wet, cold, and it's still raining, but Jensen’s smiling as they walk across the sand.
The journey back to the motel is uncomfortable, feels longer than it was before, and they get a few odd looks as their clothes stick to their skin, dripping from head to toe.
They both breathe, relieved, in the middle of the room once they’re back, thunder and lightning filling up the skies outside. Jared lets Jensen take first shower and he’s quick, dresses in an old band t-shirt and some jeans before letting Jared have his turn.
After re-stocking on food and gas they get back onto the road, carrying on towards their last destination.
"Let's go to San Francisco."
***
It takes five hours to drive there, and Jared falls in love with San Francisco, with the Golden Gate Bridge, the Bay. With the electric nightlife and the vibrant streets. It's already dark and Jared is itching to get out there and experience it.
“How about we go clubbing? I mean, we’re only going to be out on our great adventure for a few more days, maybe a week. Let’s do it right, Jen.”
They've only been in San Francisco an hour and they're at a pizza place sharing a large pepperoni between them, Jared throwing his fantastical ideas into the air and Jensen trying to grab hold of them and bring them down to earth.
“Jared, we’re not twenty-one. And we don’t have fake IDs.”
“Nobody is gonna ask if we go to the right place,” Jared says. “Trust me, Jeff used to go all the time before he turned twenty-one.”
"In San Francisco?"
Jared shrugs and takes another bite of pizza, still eyeing Jensen with bright, excited eyes.
Jensen relents, gives a half shrug. “We can try if you really want to.”
Jared finished his slice of pizza and throws a fist in the air to celebrate.
"Hey, maybe we can go to a gay club," Jared says, and then winks.
"No," Jensen says, not sure if it’s supposed to be a joke or not, struggling to speak past the thumping in his chest.
“Don’t worry about it, Jen, we’ll go to some shitty club where nobody even asks. It’ll be fun.”
"Just, some normal club, then. Some shitty place where nobody will ask for ID and drinks are cheap."
Jared nods at him again, his hair, now long and messy, flopping around his face. "Sounds good to me."
***
They go back to the truck and sit in the front, Jared revealing his seemingly never-ending stash of liquor.
“Shots,” Jared says, pulling out a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses.
“Where the hell do you keep getting all of this alcohol from?” Jensen says, pulling the bottle off of him.
“I’ve had it all since Texas, Jen,” Jared says, lining up a row of six shot glasses along the dashboard. “Now start pouring.”
“Jesus, you never told me you brought an entire bar with you,” Jensen says, filling up the shot glasses.
“Three for you,” Jared says, sliding them across towards Jensen once he’s finished pouring, “and three for me.”
They swallow the first one together and Jensen pulls a face, remembers how much he doesn’t fucking like vodka. He looks over at Jared to see he’s pulling the same face and Jensen grins before picking up the second one and throwing it back, Jared following close behind.
The clink their last ones together and then drink them down, slamming them onto the table.
“Why did we do that?” Jared complains.
“I fucking hate vodka,” Jensen says.
“I know.”
They both get out of the truck and start walking into the city night.
***
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