(no subject)
introduced to titus, gracie's lil' chunkster.
i'mma hunt down some chunky metal parts for a chunky little bug now.
when i got to see the kids, they were huge! they're fourteen, eleven, six, and four. they're six-foot three, five-foot six, five even, and pilar...she's just itty bitty. i still picked 'em all up. all of 'em. together. it was what it was. we were down about the passing, but really happy to see each other. nico didn't leave me for a second! it was us again. i was at all of their births. i changed 'em, bathed 'em, tucked 'em in, and such, but nico and i have been matched since his birth. i'm not saying anything about favorites. we just match. he's my pard. i call him and he calls me.
had that dream again. this time i recognized the painting. it was one of my old high school pieces, a ten by sixty stiched, filled, and primed canvas. the bic'd daffodil seedling blow-up. i had to buy it back, and i did. only this time i was able to break it down to take it home. i had a "home" to take it to.
oh, my niece drew me a card, 'cause she's digging the tarot.
judgement.
things are changing. i'mma healing. i move forward. oh, and i might as well forgive myself while i'm at it.
i love that kid!
she's always taken pictures and left room for herself, you know, like she was right there. what a jerk.
on another note, i'm not mexican. if someone figures i speak spanish 'cause i rose-up in california, cool. might as well figure i speak tagalog, hmong, and mexteco too, which i do to some bit. i don't dig it if it's for some other reason.
also, i let franklin, my ma's boyfriend of seventeen? eighteen years? anyway, i let him know that i think pretty highly of him, that he's important to me, and some other mooshy schtuff. i've tried to before, but i just made it clear. we've been surfing and skating from the beginning. see; mooshy schtuff. dude taught me to rail slide on my trucks and helicopter my longboard. taught me how to paint houses, and didn't mind me fishing without a hook, dug me finding a job on the nelson ranch when i was nine, taught me to drive a little five speed when i was ten. enough.
good night. goodnight!