Experiments in Kindness, Part 2 of ?

[slammerkinbabe]

Well, my lunchtime kindness experiment didn't go very well. I went down to Burger King to find a woman standing at the counter, ripping the clerk a new one because her sundaes had come without hot fudge. She was clearly strung out as hell, with leathery skin stretched drum-tight over her skull but still marked with wrinkles like razor-cuts in

Comments

[mahmfic]

i really hate people who are ridic awful to people in retail.

[slammerkinbabe]

Yeah, the most frustrating part was that I didn't wind up doing the clerk any good. I worked in retail for long enough that I identify deeply with clerks who are getting yelled at for something that isn't their fault.

[deliriums_fish]

I don't know why I love this so much, but I really do. I love this whole kindness experiment, but I find this post kind of...charming? Idk why, and that almost seems perverse, because I know that this was not the intended result of your action, but you're absolutely right..."sometimes it goes stupid."

And that's a lesson that I've had to learn, which is, no matter how noble or awful my personal intentions are, there are just too many variables out there and sometimes the end result of my efforts is the real-life equivalent of the sound a balloon makes when air is slowly leaking out of it.

In short, I want to steal the phrase "sometimes it goes stupid," and also I applaud you for what you're doing.

[slammerkinbabe]

I'm so glad you feel this way about it because I keep struggling within myself with worries about being, or seeming, stupid/gullible/naive/etc. I don't mind this post being "charming," so long as your takeaway is still that I'm doing something good; and, yes, it is a fact of life that sometimes things do go stupid. (For my part I really like your image of the balloon with air leaking out of it. Yes, exactly that noise.)

[deliriums_fish]

I realize now that using the word "charming" sounds really condescending, and I'm cringing that I did that. I'm sorry.

[slammerkinbabe]

Oh, no, I didn't take it that way at all! It's kind of an offbeat story; I took "charming" in that context. Seriously, I am really happy you think what I'm doing is not ridiculous, even though this particular experience was ridiculous, and I'm glad it made you smile rather than roll your eyes at my being stupid.

[ganimede]

I emailed JP Licks to ask when they were branching out of the Boston area, ideally into the UK because I think their ice cream is SO GOOD. Unfortunately they're concentrating on MA for now but they did offer to load my cow card with a free sundae for next time I was in the area...

Homeless people is a difficult one. There's a campaign in my town not to donate to people begging because a lot of times they're actually not in need and just scamming. The policy is that it's better to donate directly to the charity instead as they'll see it goes to people who do need it. It's tricky.

[slammerkinbabe]

Oh, did they? That was nice. They do have good ice cream. (Now I'm hungry.)

I know that giving money to homeless people who are scammers and/or addicts is ultimately, leaving everyone else out of it, a shitty thing to do to them. But it's hard to find good substitutes that will help the people who do need help, because they're out there too. It's doubly tricky to find a charity that will help because a good percentage of homeless people won't go to shelters due to fear of violence or theft of what little they have, and soup kitchens just don't have very good food sometimes. My job is right across from Boston Common, where tons of homeless people stay, and I don't want to turn my back on people in need. But I also don't want to fund drug abuse, or give money to scammers. I was all excited that my Burger King certificates had fixed the situation but now I'm one shy of being all out. I'll have to figure out a plan for what to do from here, because I encounter so many homeless people on a daily basis.

[ganimede]

It was very nice of them. I really wish I'd been able to use it. They have great ice cream, they are the standard by which I judge all others now!

Do you not have anything like the Big Issue there? I'm trying to remember and failing. It's a magazine that homeless people sell so they're getting an income. It also means they can be classed as self-employed and able to claim housing benefits which obviously is incredibly beneficial. It's also good because it's an official charity and it's a good way of knowing that you're helping someone directly, without just thinking they're scamming or addicts. It'd be a shame if there's nothing like that in the US. I remember Boston Common, it must be incredibly hard to walk past that every day. Could you get in touch with the branch of BK that you've been using and explain what it is what you want to do and ask how they can help you accomplish it?

[slammerkinbabe]

There is something called Spare Change Newspaper here, and I buy it sometimes and have actually been meaning to volunteer to copy-edit for them since the last issue I got said they were looking for copyeditors, but I am bad at follow-through. I'm just going to do that when I finish this comment, so I won't forget. Spare Change has been plagued a bit by scammers who get a hold of a couple copies, put them on top of a pile of free newspapers grabbed from train stations, and then give purchasers the free newspaper and skedaddle before they realize. And it sounds like Big Issue is more of an institution; I think Spare Change's aims are roughly the same but I don't think it's been as successful. Still a good thing to support though.