time editing & feedback

[hybridtangent]

Hey there, this is pretty long and I'm looking for bits to cut. I'm likely suffering from the "but it's all important?" thing where I'm finding it hard to be ruthless with myself...
Suggestions on what to cut or other constructive feedback?

Comments

[noble_knave]

I like it. Kudos for using a lot of different virtual fads in there. It really makes you think.

[figure__8]

Now this is the way of the future,
This, is how it happens, communities are losing
perfectly vibrant personalities to the instant gratification of virtual intimacy.

so fucking right. in a spoken-word setting, i'd like to hear a lot more about this, the real problem, and less about facebook ex's. the true 'elephant in the room' seems to be how everyone is wasting their time & brain cells on inauthentic relationships, false popularity, fake plastic intimacy.
(drew)