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My ass got an "Mmm!" today at the grocery store as I was leaning over to examine the nectarines. I like to assume that it was a "Mmm, that's a fine ass!" instead of "Mmm, sure is tough to squeeze by this thing
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i don't get why splitting the check is such a debaucle every damn time. it's really simple-- add up everything you ordered (INCLUDING DRINKS) in your head, take 10%, double that, round up or down as you see fit. figure out how much cash you contributed and how much you need back. i don't understand why people have such a hard time with this.
my new trick when i go out with people is to chip in my debit card and circle the things that were mine. "i don't have any cash, guys, sorry!"
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Shooting Nazi hookers.
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