Happiest Day Part 1 (fanfiction-NCIS)
Title: Happiest Day part 1
Author: slash4femme
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing/Category: Gibbs/Tim
Rating: PG-13
Warning: gratuitous use of cliches and marriage
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I do not make money off of doing this. The only thing I' getting out of this is pure unadulterated creative enjoyment and less hours for me to spend doing my real work.
Summery: Gibbs gets engaged for the fifth time in his life, but this time isn't going to be any easier then the last four.
Author's Note: Precious Pup told me not to fight this when I told her I wanted to write it.
1.
All the other times Leroy Jethro Gibbs had proposed marriage it had been perfect, romantic. Before leaving for deployment, or after a romantic dinner, while they were away on vacation together. He had always done it properly, the way they did it in the movies, for some of his marriages it had been the only thing he did do right, or at least that’s what his second wife had told him. There was nothing special about this day though. Nothing unusual except for the fact that it had snowed, the last snow of the year. It was also a Saturday and they had no pressing cases. Gibbs had spent most of the day in the basement working on his boat. Tim and jethro had spent most of their time locked in the upstairs study working on Tim’s typewrite which was on the fritz again.
Tim had also been trying to find his sweatshirt. He actually had plenty of sweatshirts but this was his chess team sweatshirt with considerable sentimental value attached, they had made it to nationals the year he had bought it. He had already gone through the closet, his dresser and the downstairs closet. Finally out of desperation he started going through Gibbs’ dresser. When he found the box, he didn’t think much of it. Blue velvet boxes indicated jewelry of some quality, but that could be anything from good cufflinks, to a family air loom, to a keepsake from an earlier marriage, his mind skittered firmly away from which one. Still it was in Gibbs’ shirt drawer, which was odd, Gibbs usually kept such things in the drawer at the top, opposite from his socks. He stood there holding the box for a long moment torn between putting it back and opening it. The gentlemanly half of his brain embarked on the short war with the federal investigator part, and lost. Tim opened the box carefully and for a few minutes just stood their staring at the pair of marching gold wedding bands. His mind went in a hundred different directions at once. His first instinct was to close the box and put it back. Obviously he had been wrong about it being not a keepsake and he should just forget he ever saw them. Then his mind, the investigator part, kicked in and he realized both rings were sized too large for a woman’s hand. Everything in his mind froze and he continued to just stand there staring down at the box in his hand. Finally he did the only think he could think of and still holding the box he turned and went to find Gibbs.
Gibbs didn’t look up from his boat when he heard the door open and footsteps come down the stairs.
“How’s the typewriter coming along, still sticking?”
He finally looked up when Tim didn’t answer. Tim stood next to the stairs a strange look on his face holding something in one hand.
“Timmy?”
Gibbs frowned then put down the sander he’d been using and began to walk around his boat towards his partner. He was almost in front of Tim when he realized what Tim was holding, and froze. For a moment they just stood there and stared at each other.
“I was umm. . looking for my sweatshirt and I. . . umm found this in your t-shirt drawer.”
Tim held the box out towards Gibbs.
“Tell me if I’m wrong, but are these for. . . for us?”
It was one of the very rare times when Gibbs looked away first. Dropping his gaze he suddenly found himself very interested in the rag he’d been using to wipe his hands off with.
“Jethro?”
There was urgency in Tim’s voice now.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Tim closed his eyes and Gibbs couldn’t read the look that passed over his face.
“How long?”
“Since everyone at the office found out about us.”
Tim’s eyes flew open and he just stared at Gibbs.
“When we went up for review? And that’s when you decided you wanted to. . . to marry me?”
All the color drained out of his face, and not for the first time Gibbs silently cursed whatever insanity had made him buy the rings in the first place, this had obviously not been a good idea. Tim closed his eyes again, he’s hand was gripping the box so hard his knuckles had gone white.
“Well obviously it wasn’t a good call on my part.”
Tim’s eyes opened again and he stared at Gibbs then down at the box in his hand.
“You don’t want to marry me?”
“Do you want to get married?”
Tim looked at him, a completely different look on his face.
“yes.”
His voice was so low Gibbs barely heard it. Tim licked his lips suddenly nervous.
“yes, yes I do want to marry you.”
They stared at each other for a moment more. Then they both move. Gibbs stepping forward his arms going around Tim’s waist at the same time Tim almost lunged at him grabbing Gibbs around the shoulders and pulling him forward against the other man.
And just like that Gibbs was engaged for the fifth time in his life.
2.
Nothing changed, yet every thing changed. Gibbs could feel it inside. After first it was happiness, Tim happy, so happy he practically glowed with it and Gibbs couldn’t help but to be happy too, happy every time he say Tim and the waves of pure joy that seemed to emanate off of him. Soon though something else began to form inside of him. The heaviness and the pain that had always been there when he got engaged, in the back of his mind, the pit of his stomach. He knew, deep down he knew it had been a mistake. Every other time he had ignored it, shoved it down inside of him and told himself it would go away. Except he knew it wouldn’t. He knew it would be there growing bigger and uglier until everything he did, every time they spent time together, would be tinted with it, until he would cease to care.
It hurt. It had hurt the last three times but it hurt this time most of all. Because the pain had never been there with Tim. He and Tim’s relationship had always been different, freer, devoid of pain, the only good thing he’d down in a long, long time.
Tim had wanted a spring wedding so they planned it for May. A month and a half into their engagement Gibbs lay on his side in bed watching Tim sleep. The clock on the bedside table said three o’clock in the morning but Gibbs hadn’t slept at all. Instead he watched Tim, watched the way his face relaxed in sleep, the way his hair gently fell cross his forehead, his long lashes brushed against his cheeks. Tim had never wanted to save Gibbs or change him, he had only ever wanted Gibbs to be himself. He was intelligent, funny, caring and one of the best agents Gibbs had ever worked with. Gibbs had been so sure this relationship would be the one, the first one since Shannon he wouldn’t screw up. It was then that Gibbs realized he couldn’t do it. All three of his previous wives he could do it to but not Tim, he couldn’t hurt him like that. Gently so as not to wake him Gibbs reached forward and brushed the hair away from Tim’s face then kissed him softly on the cheek, saying goodbye. In his sleep Tim sighed softly but did not wake.
Gibbs broke up with Tim after work the next day in the parking garage. He was cool, business like and Tim sat in Gibbs’ care frozen for a few minutes then without a word got out and walked back into the NCIS building. Gibbs stared straight head of him until Tim was out of sight then let his head fall forward onto the steering wheel. He wondered if Tim had gone to find Ziva to help him finish Gibbs off and a large part of Gibbs really hoped they would. He didn’t go home straight way instead spent several hours driving around, cursing himself in every way he knew how. When he finally did go home, Tim’s clothes, and typewriter where gone. As was jethro, his bed and food dishes. For a long moment Gibbs just stood there in the hall listening to the empty house around him. Then headed for the basement. He spent the rest of the night sitting staring at the boat drinking whisky. A small jar of paint sat next to him on the work bench and Gibbs knew what he had to do but couldn’t quite bring himself go do it.
3.
Tim didn’t come to work the next day, or the day after that. On the second day Jenny Shepard paged Gibbs to come to her office.
“What did you do?”
Gibbs hadn’t even gotten all the way through the door. He closed the door behind him and walked to a chair without answering.
“It’s personal.”
“Jethro, one of my agents hasn’t showed up for work in two days, and although I really rather not hear about you two’s private life I need to know what’s going on.”
He sighed
“We were engaged and now we’re not.”
She stared at him over her glasses
“Oh no, no, no. Don’t tell me you were that stupid, Gibbs again!”
He stared at her stunned.
“For God sakes, you never learn do you.”
She snatched off her glasses and practically through them on the desk in front of her.
“Tim loved you, and you just broke it off. You know for an agent as smart as you are you can be truly stupid.”
He felt anger rise up within him, how dare she? He opened his mouth, but Jen stopped him with a raise of her hand as she stood, pacing behind her desk.
“No, no listen Jethro, for once just listen to me. You’ve got to figure this out. It’s been years and three marriages, and this is ridiculous. You’re a grown man it’s time you made some decisions, so think. Do you love Tim? Are you ready to let go of Shannon. No, don’t say anything!”
She took a breath.
“Really think about this. Don’t just go rushing off with your gut feeling. I know that’s how you work but for once try the intellectual approach. Take some time off, I’m not asking, and really think about this and make some decisions. Just for God sakes stop this ‘keeping all your feeling bottled up inside’ crap. You’ve already ruined three marriages and dragged me, Tim and the rest of your team through this long enough.”
She pointed at the door.
“Now go, I don’t want to see you in the office for another three days.”
He wanted to stay, to give her a piece of his mind but he was afraid of what might happen if he did. No one had ever spoken to him before like that. Silently he got up walked to the door and left, heading straight for his car, ignoring the panicky and stunned looks from both Ziva and Tony.
The first night he got good and drunk. Yet as the next day wore on, he found himself doing exactly what Jen had told him to. Sitting next to his boat in the basement, be began to think about his first marriage, about Shannon and Kelly, and about his relationship with Tim. He found Tim’s MIT t-shirt under the bed. He played Kelly’s tape until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Then he just sat and replaying every memory of the two of them again and again in his mind behind his eyes. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he moved, night, after midnight or very early morning. Slowly he got up and made his way across the basement to the boat, slowly he picked up the pot of black paint. Carefully he began to stencil letters onto the side. Carefully brush stroke by brush stroke he painted an uppercase ‘T’ onto the side of the boat then stopped. He stood there frozen for how long he had no idea just looking at the ‘T’ then the hand holding the paintbrush fell to his side and he let his head fall against the cool smooth side of the boat. He didn’t even realize he had begun to cry until the tears fell onto the new paint causing it to begin to run.
4.
It was Abby who answered the door the second time he banged on it. When she saw him she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a long look.
“I love you dearly Gibbs but you have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”
He sighed.
“I know Abby, I know. Can I talk to Tim.”
He took a step toward the door and she grabbed it firmly blocking his way.
“I’m tempted to say no.”
“who is it Abby?”
Tim walking out the apartments kitchen drying his hands off on a dishcloth jethro along side him. Tim stopped dead when he saw Gibbs and jethro began frantically wagging his tail. Abby glanced back behind her.
“Tim you want me to let him in or should I just take him out for coffee?”
Tim’s face hardened.
“I think coffee seems like a good idea.”
“Tim please. . .”
Gibbs took another step towards the door eyes locked on Tim’s face. Abby stuck out her arm and placed one hand firmly on Gibbs’ chest.
“come on Gibbs don’t make me use my ninja moves on you.”
He transferred his gaze to the goth blocking the door.
“Abby. . .”
“alright Abby let him in.”
Gibbs gaze snapped back up to Tim and Abby stepped away from the door. He took a few steps until he was standing inside the apartment. Abby shut the door behind him then stood looking from one to the other.
“you boys are going to play nice right? ‘Cause I don’t think there’s much I can do about it if you don’t.”
“we’ll be fine Abby.”
Tim’s voice still held ice and steel and Gibbs told himself firmly that he disserved it.
“right you want me to stay?”
She glance between the two of them again.
“Alright then, me and jethro will just be in Tim’s bedroom, so one of you scream if you need me or anything.”
She grabbed jethro by the collar and gently led him into the bedroom, closing the door. In the silence that followed they stood there. Finally Gibbs squared his shoulder, he’d come here for a reason, after all.
“Tim.”
McGee had his arms folded across his chest and a look on his face Gibbs had almost never seen and never directed towards him not even after he’d come back from Mexico.
“I’m sorry.”
A totally different look moved a cross Tim’s face and one hand can up to cover his mouth, but Gibbs wasn’t done saying everything he’d come there to say.
“It was always different with you. with all my marriages. . .they were always replacements for the first and it never worked.”
He stopped staring down at his hands, then looked up at Tim
“can we sit down?”
Wordlessly Tim nodded then led him to the couch and they both sat, carefully not touching. Gibbs wet his lips steeling himself to go on and get it all out in the open.
“It was never like that with you though, you were never just a replacement for. . .for Shannon. It’s just when we got engaged. . .”
He sighed and closed his eyes.
“when we got engaged if felt like all the others, like you were a replacement for something I didn’t have anymore.”
Beside him Tim stiffened and when Gibbs opened his eyes he saw pure raged written plain across the other man’s face. For a moment he thought Tim would actually hit him, but instead Tim stood and walked to the other side of the room, back to Gibbs. For a moment there was silence and Gibbs forced himself to keep going.
“I’ve been sitting there in my basement thinking about Shannon and Kelly and how much I loved them. Trying to make myself paint your name onto my boat, make it really be over.”
Tim moved, even with as good reflexes as Gibbs had it happened so fast he didn’t realize what Tim was doing until Tim had already done it. There was the sound of breaking glass and Gibbs was on his feet taking in first the shattered glass and water running down the wall then Tim who had sunk slowly to his knees staring blindly at the blood pooling in his hand. Gibbs moved scooping up the dishcloth Tim had left lying on the coffee table and moving over to Tim crouching down beside him, pressing the dish clothe to the gash in his hand.
“Tim. Tim look at me. I couldn’t do it.”
Gibbs reached out and took Tim by the shoulder half turning him towards Gibbs.
“I couldn’t do it, because I love you. Even with loving Shannon and Kelly the way I do the way I always will, I still love you. And I couldn’t make it really be over, couldn’t really let you go, I need you and I love you and I am sorry, so very sorry.”
He pulled Tim until the other man was pressed against Gibbs’ shoulder Gibbs’ fingers pressing into the back of his neck. Tim’s eyes close and he draws in a long shuddering breath.
“God damn you.”
Gibbs couldn’t have even begun to express how relieved he was to hear Tim’s voice.
“God damn you Gibbs, why do you have to do this? Why do I have to love you.”
Tim pressed his face into the curve of Gibbs’ neck and they just stay there huddled together.
“Um.”
Gibbs looks up to see Abby standing by the door. He watched as she took in first the glass and water on the floor and spattered up the wall then Gibbs crouched on the floor holding Tim to his chest with one arm and a bloody dishcloth to Tim’s hand with the other.
“you two ok now?”
Tim moved making a noise half way between a laugh and a sob, and Gibbs allowed himself to press a cautious kiss to the top of Tim’s ear.
“yeah, Abbs I think we’re going to be.”
“well that’s a relief I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if you two killed each other. Speaking of which we might want to get Tim to a hospital that’s a lot of blood.”
Gibbs glanced down at the dishcloth then removed it and all three of them, plus jethro stared at the gash on Tim’s palm.
“It’s not that deep really. Tim do you have a first aid kit?”
Tim nodded
“In the bathroom.”
“well I think between myself and Abby we’ll be able to get you patched up.”
Gibbs unbent himself then helped Tim off the floor and they all started en-mass for the bathroom.
(part two)
Author: slash4femme
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing/Category: Gibbs/Tim
Rating: PG-13
Warning: gratuitous use of cliches and marriage
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I do not make money off of doing this. The only thing I' getting out of this is pure unadulterated creative enjoyment and less hours for me to spend doing my real work.
Summery: Gibbs gets engaged for the fifth time in his life, but this time isn't going to be any easier then the last four.
Author's Note: Precious Pup told me not to fight this when I told her I wanted to write it.
1.
All the other times Leroy Jethro Gibbs had proposed marriage it had been perfect, romantic. Before leaving for deployment, or after a romantic dinner, while they were away on vacation together. He had always done it properly, the way they did it in the movies, for some of his marriages it had been the only thing he did do right, or at least that’s what his second wife had told him. There was nothing special about this day though. Nothing unusual except for the fact that it had snowed, the last snow of the year. It was also a Saturday and they had no pressing cases. Gibbs had spent most of the day in the basement working on his boat. Tim and jethro had spent most of their time locked in the upstairs study working on Tim’s typewrite which was on the fritz again.
Tim had also been trying to find his sweatshirt. He actually had plenty of sweatshirts but this was his chess team sweatshirt with considerable sentimental value attached, they had made it to nationals the year he had bought it. He had already gone through the closet, his dresser and the downstairs closet. Finally out of desperation he started going through Gibbs’ dresser. When he found the box, he didn’t think much of it. Blue velvet boxes indicated jewelry of some quality, but that could be anything from good cufflinks, to a family air loom, to a keepsake from an earlier marriage, his mind skittered firmly away from which one. Still it was in Gibbs’ shirt drawer, which was odd, Gibbs usually kept such things in the drawer at the top, opposite from his socks. He stood there holding the box for a long moment torn between putting it back and opening it. The gentlemanly half of his brain embarked on the short war with the federal investigator part, and lost. Tim opened the box carefully and for a few minutes just stood their staring at the pair of marching gold wedding bands. His mind went in a hundred different directions at once. His first instinct was to close the box and put it back. Obviously he had been wrong about it being not a keepsake and he should just forget he ever saw them. Then his mind, the investigator part, kicked in and he realized both rings were sized too large for a woman’s hand. Everything in his mind froze and he continued to just stand there staring down at the box in his hand. Finally he did the only think he could think of and still holding the box he turned and went to find Gibbs.
Gibbs didn’t look up from his boat when he heard the door open and footsteps come down the stairs.
“How’s the typewriter coming along, still sticking?”
He finally looked up when Tim didn’t answer. Tim stood next to the stairs a strange look on his face holding something in one hand.
“Timmy?”
Gibbs frowned then put down the sander he’d been using and began to walk around his boat towards his partner. He was almost in front of Tim when he realized what Tim was holding, and froze. For a moment they just stood there and stared at each other.
“I was umm. . looking for my sweatshirt and I. . . umm found this in your t-shirt drawer.”
Tim held the box out towards Gibbs.
“Tell me if I’m wrong, but are these for. . . for us?”
It was one of the very rare times when Gibbs looked away first. Dropping his gaze he suddenly found himself very interested in the rag he’d been using to wipe his hands off with.
“Jethro?”
There was urgency in Tim’s voice now.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Tim closed his eyes and Gibbs couldn’t read the look that passed over his face.
“How long?”
“Since everyone at the office found out about us.”
Tim’s eyes flew open and he just stared at Gibbs.
“When we went up for review? And that’s when you decided you wanted to. . . to marry me?”
All the color drained out of his face, and not for the first time Gibbs silently cursed whatever insanity had made him buy the rings in the first place, this had obviously not been a good idea. Tim closed his eyes again, he’s hand was gripping the box so hard his knuckles had gone white.
“Well obviously it wasn’t a good call on my part.”
Tim’s eyes opened again and he stared at Gibbs then down at the box in his hand.
“You don’t want to marry me?”
“Do you want to get married?”
Tim looked at him, a completely different look on his face.
“yes.”
His voice was so low Gibbs barely heard it. Tim licked his lips suddenly nervous.
“yes, yes I do want to marry you.”
They stared at each other for a moment more. Then they both move. Gibbs stepping forward his arms going around Tim’s waist at the same time Tim almost lunged at him grabbing Gibbs around the shoulders and pulling him forward against the other man.
And just like that Gibbs was engaged for the fifth time in his life.
2.
Nothing changed, yet every thing changed. Gibbs could feel it inside. After first it was happiness, Tim happy, so happy he practically glowed with it and Gibbs couldn’t help but to be happy too, happy every time he say Tim and the waves of pure joy that seemed to emanate off of him. Soon though something else began to form inside of him. The heaviness and the pain that had always been there when he got engaged, in the back of his mind, the pit of his stomach. He knew, deep down he knew it had been a mistake. Every other time he had ignored it, shoved it down inside of him and told himself it would go away. Except he knew it wouldn’t. He knew it would be there growing bigger and uglier until everything he did, every time they spent time together, would be tinted with it, until he would cease to care.
It hurt. It had hurt the last three times but it hurt this time most of all. Because the pain had never been there with Tim. He and Tim’s relationship had always been different, freer, devoid of pain, the only good thing he’d down in a long, long time.
Tim had wanted a spring wedding so they planned it for May. A month and a half into their engagement Gibbs lay on his side in bed watching Tim sleep. The clock on the bedside table said three o’clock in the morning but Gibbs hadn’t slept at all. Instead he watched Tim, watched the way his face relaxed in sleep, the way his hair gently fell cross his forehead, his long lashes brushed against his cheeks. Tim had never wanted to save Gibbs or change him, he had only ever wanted Gibbs to be himself. He was intelligent, funny, caring and one of the best agents Gibbs had ever worked with. Gibbs had been so sure this relationship would be the one, the first one since Shannon he wouldn’t screw up. It was then that Gibbs realized he couldn’t do it. All three of his previous wives he could do it to but not Tim, he couldn’t hurt him like that. Gently so as not to wake him Gibbs reached forward and brushed the hair away from Tim’s face then kissed him softly on the cheek, saying goodbye. In his sleep Tim sighed softly but did not wake.
Gibbs broke up with Tim after work the next day in the parking garage. He was cool, business like and Tim sat in Gibbs’ care frozen for a few minutes then without a word got out and walked back into the NCIS building. Gibbs stared straight head of him until Tim was out of sight then let his head fall forward onto the steering wheel. He wondered if Tim had gone to find Ziva to help him finish Gibbs off and a large part of Gibbs really hoped they would. He didn’t go home straight way instead spent several hours driving around, cursing himself in every way he knew how. When he finally did go home, Tim’s clothes, and typewriter where gone. As was jethro, his bed and food dishes. For a long moment Gibbs just stood there in the hall listening to the empty house around him. Then headed for the basement. He spent the rest of the night sitting staring at the boat drinking whisky. A small jar of paint sat next to him on the work bench and Gibbs knew what he had to do but couldn’t quite bring himself go do it.
3.
Tim didn’t come to work the next day, or the day after that. On the second day Jenny Shepard paged Gibbs to come to her office.
“What did you do?”
Gibbs hadn’t even gotten all the way through the door. He closed the door behind him and walked to a chair without answering.
“It’s personal.”
“Jethro, one of my agents hasn’t showed up for work in two days, and although I really rather not hear about you two’s private life I need to know what’s going on.”
He sighed
“We were engaged and now we’re not.”
She stared at him over her glasses
“Oh no, no, no. Don’t tell me you were that stupid, Gibbs again!”
He stared at her stunned.
“For God sakes, you never learn do you.”
She snatched off her glasses and practically through them on the desk in front of her.
“Tim loved you, and you just broke it off. You know for an agent as smart as you are you can be truly stupid.”
He felt anger rise up within him, how dare she? He opened his mouth, but Jen stopped him with a raise of her hand as she stood, pacing behind her desk.
“No, no listen Jethro, for once just listen to me. You’ve got to figure this out. It’s been years and three marriages, and this is ridiculous. You’re a grown man it’s time you made some decisions, so think. Do you love Tim? Are you ready to let go of Shannon. No, don’t say anything!”
She took a breath.
“Really think about this. Don’t just go rushing off with your gut feeling. I know that’s how you work but for once try the intellectual approach. Take some time off, I’m not asking, and really think about this and make some decisions. Just for God sakes stop this ‘keeping all your feeling bottled up inside’ crap. You’ve already ruined three marriages and dragged me, Tim and the rest of your team through this long enough.”
She pointed at the door.
“Now go, I don’t want to see you in the office for another three days.”
He wanted to stay, to give her a piece of his mind but he was afraid of what might happen if he did. No one had ever spoken to him before like that. Silently he got up walked to the door and left, heading straight for his car, ignoring the panicky and stunned looks from both Ziva and Tony.
The first night he got good and drunk. Yet as the next day wore on, he found himself doing exactly what Jen had told him to. Sitting next to his boat in the basement, be began to think about his first marriage, about Shannon and Kelly, and about his relationship with Tim. He found Tim’s MIT t-shirt under the bed. He played Kelly’s tape until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Then he just sat and replaying every memory of the two of them again and again in his mind behind his eyes. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he moved, night, after midnight or very early morning. Slowly he got up and made his way across the basement to the boat, slowly he picked up the pot of black paint. Carefully he began to stencil letters onto the side. Carefully brush stroke by brush stroke he painted an uppercase ‘T’ onto the side of the boat then stopped. He stood there frozen for how long he had no idea just looking at the ‘T’ then the hand holding the paintbrush fell to his side and he let his head fall against the cool smooth side of the boat. He didn’t even realize he had begun to cry until the tears fell onto the new paint causing it to begin to run.
4.
It was Abby who answered the door the second time he banged on it. When she saw him she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a long look.
“I love you dearly Gibbs but you have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”
He sighed.
“I know Abby, I know. Can I talk to Tim.”
He took a step toward the door and she grabbed it firmly blocking his way.
“I’m tempted to say no.”
“who is it Abby?”
Tim walking out the apartments kitchen drying his hands off on a dishcloth jethro along side him. Tim stopped dead when he saw Gibbs and jethro began frantically wagging his tail. Abby glanced back behind her.
“Tim you want me to let him in or should I just take him out for coffee?”
Tim’s face hardened.
“I think coffee seems like a good idea.”
“Tim please. . .”
Gibbs took another step towards the door eyes locked on Tim’s face. Abby stuck out her arm and placed one hand firmly on Gibbs’ chest.
“come on Gibbs don’t make me use my ninja moves on you.”
He transferred his gaze to the goth blocking the door.
“Abby. . .”
“alright Abby let him in.”
Gibbs gaze snapped back up to Tim and Abby stepped away from the door. He took a few steps until he was standing inside the apartment. Abby shut the door behind him then stood looking from one to the other.
“you boys are going to play nice right? ‘Cause I don’t think there’s much I can do about it if you don’t.”
“we’ll be fine Abby.”
Tim’s voice still held ice and steel and Gibbs told himself firmly that he disserved it.
“right you want me to stay?”
She glance between the two of them again.
“Alright then, me and jethro will just be in Tim’s bedroom, so one of you scream if you need me or anything.”
She grabbed jethro by the collar and gently led him into the bedroom, closing the door. In the silence that followed they stood there. Finally Gibbs squared his shoulder, he’d come here for a reason, after all.
“Tim.”
McGee had his arms folded across his chest and a look on his face Gibbs had almost never seen and never directed towards him not even after he’d come back from Mexico.
“I’m sorry.”
A totally different look moved a cross Tim’s face and one hand can up to cover his mouth, but Gibbs wasn’t done saying everything he’d come there to say.
“It was always different with you. with all my marriages. . .they were always replacements for the first and it never worked.”
He stopped staring down at his hands, then looked up at Tim
“can we sit down?”
Wordlessly Tim nodded then led him to the couch and they both sat, carefully not touching. Gibbs wet his lips steeling himself to go on and get it all out in the open.
“It was never like that with you though, you were never just a replacement for. . .for Shannon. It’s just when we got engaged. . .”
He sighed and closed his eyes.
“when we got engaged if felt like all the others, like you were a replacement for something I didn’t have anymore.”
Beside him Tim stiffened and when Gibbs opened his eyes he saw pure raged written plain across the other man’s face. For a moment he thought Tim would actually hit him, but instead Tim stood and walked to the other side of the room, back to Gibbs. For a moment there was silence and Gibbs forced himself to keep going.
“I’ve been sitting there in my basement thinking about Shannon and Kelly and how much I loved them. Trying to make myself paint your name onto my boat, make it really be over.”
Tim moved, even with as good reflexes as Gibbs had it happened so fast he didn’t realize what Tim was doing until Tim had already done it. There was the sound of breaking glass and Gibbs was on his feet taking in first the shattered glass and water running down the wall then Tim who had sunk slowly to his knees staring blindly at the blood pooling in his hand. Gibbs moved scooping up the dishcloth Tim had left lying on the coffee table and moving over to Tim crouching down beside him, pressing the dish clothe to the gash in his hand.
“Tim. Tim look at me. I couldn’t do it.”
Gibbs reached out and took Tim by the shoulder half turning him towards Gibbs.
“I couldn’t do it, because I love you. Even with loving Shannon and Kelly the way I do the way I always will, I still love you. And I couldn’t make it really be over, couldn’t really let you go, I need you and I love you and I am sorry, so very sorry.”
He pulled Tim until the other man was pressed against Gibbs’ shoulder Gibbs’ fingers pressing into the back of his neck. Tim’s eyes close and he draws in a long shuddering breath.
“God damn you.”
Gibbs couldn’t have even begun to express how relieved he was to hear Tim’s voice.
“God damn you Gibbs, why do you have to do this? Why do I have to love you.”
Tim pressed his face into the curve of Gibbs’ neck and they just stay there huddled together.
“Um.”
Gibbs looks up to see Abby standing by the door. He watched as she took in first the glass and water on the floor and spattered up the wall then Gibbs crouched on the floor holding Tim to his chest with one arm and a bloody dishcloth to Tim’s hand with the other.
“you two ok now?”
Tim moved making a noise half way between a laugh and a sob, and Gibbs allowed himself to press a cautious kiss to the top of Tim’s ear.
“yeah, Abbs I think we’re going to be.”
“well that’s a relief I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if you two killed each other. Speaking of which we might want to get Tim to a hospital that’s a lot of blood.”
Gibbs glanced down at the dishcloth then removed it and all three of them, plus jethro stared at the gash on Tim’s palm.
“It’s not that deep really. Tim do you have a first aid kit?”
Tim nodded
“In the bathroom.”
“well I think between myself and Abby we’ll be able to get you patched up.”
Gibbs unbent himself then helped Tim off the floor and they all started en-mass for the bathroom.
(part two)