I LIVE!
Hi, hello, hi, I'm back/still here!
(Not a shocker that my last post was in 2016, cos after that, in November 2016, the shit hit the fan in the US in a big way. I was miserable and angry all the fucking time for those four years, more so than my usual typical misery and anger. I am not much better now [despite that typicality changing], seeing as the thought of him being President again is fucking debilitatingly horrifying, and what our current President is doing by supporting Israel's occupation of Palestine and genocide of Palestinians is unconscionable to the point that I can't even campaign for him.)
Things have changed... a lot in my life, in the past few-several years. I don't live with my grandparents anymore (in fact, they are both dead now). I live semi-independently in supportive housing, and I go to therapy/counseling, to a psychiatrist for anxiety/Autism-regulating meds, and to group therapy at a mental health program in the city where I live. I'm even teaching a Queer Studies 101 kind of class as a peer at said group therapy mental health program, for fifteen weeks, at this point. I also may or may not have found a job (mentoring younger people with Autism/anxiety/etc.) that I not only want to do, but can do, which is a first for me. (However, I still do intend to finish college! Even though I had to take a hiatus in 2015.)
I still read fic (currently going through the AO3 Masterlist of TheGoblinMatriarch), still occasionally write fic (this and this are my most recent), still scroll Tumblr semi-regularly and still am on Twitter* almost constantly (but also on Bluesky* now, for those who've left that shitfire behind).
For the record: I am still Vam's main mod, but I will probably never go back there in any kind of regular sense that isn't oversight. As those men have moved on, so have I.
For the record: Aros/Aces, cishet or not, belong in the queer community. I am no longer conflicted about this; I am 1000% sure of it, and if you argue with me about it, you will lose by default of being on the side of T-RFs.
For the record: I have no interest in really being with anybody romantically or sexually right now, and I'm more than comfortable with that, despite what I've said in the past.
For the record: I may have changed, but I am still Castiel in all the ways that matter.
A hint of who I am now in four bracelets I made myself this week with my counselor who supports me in my housing program:
[Image description: My right wrist, ringed by four bracelets: a silver one that says CAS, a Pride one with rainbow round beads, a chunky gray beaded that I intend to wear as part of my Aro/Ace Pride flag bracelets, and one that says PALESTINE with beads of the Palestinian flag colors]
(*If you want my handles, you'll have to Message me for them.)