Drabble Generator!
buttfacemakani posted this link to a Drabble Generator.
It's pretty much the best thing ever.
Here are the drabbles I received:
The Adventure Of The Bowtruckle
Draco and Hermione were out for a rounded Valentine's walk by the Weeping Willow. As they went, Hermione rested her hand on Draco's fingernail. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so plump, Draco was filled with weak dread.
"Do you suppose it's sweet here?" he asked slowly.
"You wet silly," Hermione said, tickling Draco with her wand. "It's completely withered."
Just then, a scrawny bowtruckle leapt out from behind a broomstick and sexed Hermione in the forehead. "Aaargh!" Hermione screamed.
Things looked yellow. But Draco, although he was bright, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a rock and, like someone who is in love with someone else but can't admit to it because maybe their families don't like each other or the person they love is really fat or an asshole and to be with them would just totally go against everything society says is cool, beat the bowtruckle partially until it ran off. "That will teach you to sex innocent people."
Then he clasped Hermione close. Hermione was bleeding sexily. "My darling," Draco said, and pressed his lips to Hermione's heart.
"I love you," Hermione said firmly, and expired in Draco's arms.
Draco never loved again.
Hermione got sexed in the forehead by a bowtruckle and bled sexily. That's pretty hot.
Lamely Tripping
Draco tripped along unsexily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Hermione, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a brontosaurus hopping along, carrying a book in its mouth.
Draco was almost by the Weeping Willow when he came across a cloudy cake, lying alone on a black plate. "That must be a treat from my sad bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked beautiful, so he ate it.
It gave him the most hard tingling sensation in his toe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Hermione.
When Hermione came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Draco cried fondly.
"Your collar bone! And your male reproductive organ!" Hermione said. "They're saggy! Can't you feel it?"
Draco felt his collar bone and his male reproductive organ. They were indeed quite saggy. "Oh, no!" Draco said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that cloudy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Hermione said. "I got you a wand. It must have been that stupid man who lives nearby. He acts a little firmly, ever since he stripped a potion."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Draco sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Hermione said lovingly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your collar bone is really sexy like that."
"Really?" Draco dried her tears. Draco kissed Hermione and it was an entirely ugly sensation, like a person who's really ugly and wears a paper bag on their head.
They spent the night having entirely ugly sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
Wow.
A Green Occurrence
Draco paced up and down, jiggling his leg. His very good friend, Mary Sue Broomstick, had arranged to meet him here next to the lake. "I have something pretty to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Broomstick was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Draco expected to see her bounce up, her selfish hair streaming behind her and her soft eyes aglow.
Draco heard footsteps, but they seemed rather smelly for a delicate and lost girl like Mary Sue Broomstick, whose tread was hurtful. He turned around and found Hermione staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione said stiffly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Draco had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so comfortably. "Mary Sue Broomstick asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Hermione, his hair began to throb unexpectedly.
"Oh," Hermione said, brilliantly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Draco said and caught Hermione by her left pectoral. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Hermione said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a dentist with no teeth.
From behind a wardrobe, Mary Sue Broomstick watched with a perfect light in her dry eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Draco/Hermione". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the two-headed goat from extinction.
I liked the terms I used in that one so I used the same ones for this one:
To Unexpectedly Jiggle
Draco and Hermione were celebrating a pretty Valentine's Day together. Draco had cooked a lost dinner and they ate next to the lake by candlelight.
"My darling," Hermione said, stroking Draco's leg, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Draco. "It is but a selfish token of my green love."
Draco opened the box. Inside was a hurtful wardrobe! He gazed at it brilliantly. Then he gazed at Hermione brilliantly. "It's dry," Draco said. "Come here and let me jiggle you."
Just then, a perfect crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a dentist with no teeth. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a soft voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Hermione read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other comfortably as the crone cackled some more. Draco's left pectoral began to tremble. Then Hermione shrugged, pulled out a broomstick, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Draco said and kissed Hermione oddly. "This is a smelly Valentine's Day!"
They stiffly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they jiggled each other all night long.
It's pretty much the best thing ever.
Here are the drabbles I received:
The Adventure Of The Bowtruckle
Draco and Hermione were out for a rounded Valentine's walk by the Weeping Willow. As they went, Hermione rested her hand on Draco's fingernail. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so plump, Draco was filled with weak dread.
"Do you suppose it's sweet here?" he asked slowly.
"You wet silly," Hermione said, tickling Draco with her wand. "It's completely withered."
Just then, a scrawny bowtruckle leapt out from behind a broomstick and sexed Hermione in the forehead. "Aaargh!" Hermione screamed.
Things looked yellow. But Draco, although he was bright, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a rock and, like someone who is in love with someone else but can't admit to it because maybe their families don't like each other or the person they love is really fat or an asshole and to be with them would just totally go against everything society says is cool, beat the bowtruckle partially until it ran off. "That will teach you to sex innocent people."
Then he clasped Hermione close. Hermione was bleeding sexily. "My darling," Draco said, and pressed his lips to Hermione's heart.
"I love you," Hermione said firmly, and expired in Draco's arms.
Draco never loved again.
Hermione got sexed in the forehead by a bowtruckle and bled sexily. That's pretty hot.
Lamely Tripping
Draco tripped along unsexily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Hermione, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a brontosaurus hopping along, carrying a book in its mouth.
Draco was almost by the Weeping Willow when he came across a cloudy cake, lying alone on a black plate. "That must be a treat from my sad bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked beautiful, so he ate it.
It gave him the most hard tingling sensation in his toe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Hermione.
When Hermione came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Draco cried fondly.
"Your collar bone! And your male reproductive organ!" Hermione said. "They're saggy! Can't you feel it?"
Draco felt his collar bone and his male reproductive organ. They were indeed quite saggy. "Oh, no!" Draco said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that cloudy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Hermione said. "I got you a wand. It must have been that stupid man who lives nearby. He acts a little firmly, ever since he stripped a potion."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Draco sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Hermione said lovingly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your collar bone is really sexy like that."
"Really?" Draco dried her tears. Draco kissed Hermione and it was an entirely ugly sensation, like a person who's really ugly and wears a paper bag on their head.
They spent the night having entirely ugly sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
Wow.
A Green Occurrence
Draco paced up and down, jiggling his leg. His very good friend, Mary Sue Broomstick, had arranged to meet him here next to the lake. "I have something pretty to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Broomstick was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Draco expected to see her bounce up, her selfish hair streaming behind her and her soft eyes aglow.
Draco heard footsteps, but they seemed rather smelly for a delicate and lost girl like Mary Sue Broomstick, whose tread was hurtful. He turned around and found Hermione staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione said stiffly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Draco had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so comfortably. "Mary Sue Broomstick asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Hermione, his hair began to throb unexpectedly.
"Oh," Hermione said, brilliantly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Draco said and caught Hermione by her left pectoral. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Hermione said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a dentist with no teeth.
From behind a wardrobe, Mary Sue Broomstick watched with a perfect light in her dry eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Draco/Hermione". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the two-headed goat from extinction.
I liked the terms I used in that one so I used the same ones for this one:
To Unexpectedly Jiggle
Draco and Hermione were celebrating a pretty Valentine's Day together. Draco had cooked a lost dinner and they ate next to the lake by candlelight.
"My darling," Hermione said, stroking Draco's leg, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Draco. "It is but a selfish token of my green love."
Draco opened the box. Inside was a hurtful wardrobe! He gazed at it brilliantly. Then he gazed at Hermione brilliantly. "It's dry," Draco said. "Come here and let me jiggle you."
Just then, a perfect crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a dentist with no teeth. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a soft voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Hermione read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other comfortably as the crone cackled some more. Draco's left pectoral began to tremble. Then Hermione shrugged, pulled out a broomstick, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Draco said and kissed Hermione oddly. "This is a smelly Valentine's Day!"
They stiffly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they jiggled each other all night long.