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[slavecorp]

friday morning. i just got back from northern ohio. let me explain the situation:

my mom brought up going to see relatives wednesday. i told her that i'd rather not. i don't feel comfortable around my relatives anymore. i feel like i'm constantly being judged. anywho. i find out that my mom called my uncle and told that i was planning on going [i'

Comments

[aurorajames]

*hug* i'm sorry dean.

[plasticentity]

How could you say that i dont know what it feels like to be lied to, you know all to well what i went through and i know what you went through. i cant even fucking understand that you will not believe me, here i sit offering you a relationship and pouring my heart out to you who i do very much care about. and you will not even believe much less listen to what im saying to you. i know that if i said im sorry for lieing to you that it might make things better, but then i would be lying straight to your face, for real this time. i dont care if you made out with theresa or told cara that you like her, but i do care that you cant even fathom the idea that you might be wrong about what you think of me, you cant even consider it can you? and i know what happened to you, and i know what it did to you, the same happened to me, and i know that the thing that you hate more than anything in this world is lying, well you know what i hate more than anything? mistrust, i cant understand that you dont trust me. Here i am dean, go ahead take me if you

[slavecorp]

i constantly do this with people. i give them another chance. and my morals, ideals, and wmotions get trampled over again. but i told you that i can't be the vindictive bastard everyone else is. i can't wear a tough outer shell. yes, i am very hurt by you and her. but i'm not the kind of person to completely shut you out. i'll still hang out with you guys. but like i said. i need time for myself. i need to think about what i believe in. i need to think about whats been going on all around me.

[celluloid_tears]

... I don't really know how to respond to what you said to that, i don't know if i should, but I do know that a comment on livejournal is not how i want to say this... I suppose for now though, it will have to work.

Sometimes in life, people do things that hurt our feelings, or make us angry, i don't know exactly how you feel, how could i?, they're your emotions not mine, but i do know what it is like to be lied to. I also know that it isn't fun, and that it hurts feelings. Nothing about what I did was meant to hurt you. That was actually the last thing that I had wanted to happen. I am sure that nothing i will say in here will make much of a difference in how you feel about it all, but at least I am speaking what is on my mind. In case you couldn't tell, i like you, I really enjoy your company, and whenever i'm around you, i am just generally happy. The last thing i want is to have that feeling gone, only to be replaced by an awkward silence or something like that, and all because of some stupid mistake that I made. If you need

[celluloid_tears]

and by the by, sorry for putting all this on you while you're stressed about your mom... I hope you can figure everything out with that... good luck.