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WATANUKI ON ~*BFFL*~
...right. So. Watanuki is taken from the beginning of volume twelve--after what I assume to be his sixteenth or seventeenth birthday celebration...around chapter 134.
At this point his feelings for Himawari have pretty obviously changed significantly from what they were around the beginning of the series! She was his best and only friend, sure, but also in the past someone he'd managed to distance himself from by idolizing her and...violently repressing any and all ideas that she wasn't OMG SO GREAT. I think part of why the reason he did this was because she was his only real friend at the time, and more willing to appreciate her simply on virtue of the fact that she was around--both of them having ostracized themselves in some way from the rest of the student body because of their crappy circumstances...yeah, of course he liked her for herself, because she was sweet and lovely and caring, but. He was a little lonely, and she was probably persistent whereas no one else really was, and he just couldn't bring himself to think that it wasn't completely one hundred percent worth it.
After the window incident, though, things have pretty obviously changed. There's a lot more intrinsic trust and real affection--Himawari now fully aware of his nature and vice versa--and while he still sparkles for her and prances around like a total retard, it's actually kind of toned down, because her friendship and her company and trust becomes that much more valuable than his bid for romance. Basically? LESS RETARD.
At this point he's also completely accepted Doumeki's, err, place in his life. He's still a bitch about it, but he's stopped fighting it tooth and nail and started...dealing, in his own way. Their dynamic, for the large part, hasn't changed, but there's very little real animosity anymore left in Watanuki--Doumeki is just really annoying D: And...during this transition Watanuki has been. Blushing. And flailing. IS THIS THE MYTHICAL GAY? Well. I think a lot of why Watanuki's getting flustered by this is because...well, letting Doumeki into his life is kind of mowing down his dignity. In previous volumes there was screeching and strangulation, but--letting things actually change...this is something he has to face with some small measure of humility, and he knows it. He's kind of reluctantly owning up to it.
Watanuki is a MASTER OF REPRESSION. There are a lot of intentional mental roadblocks there that have up to a certain point prevented him from fully realizing the kind of person Doumeki is. I'd say these roadblocks started wearing down after volume five or so, but. As of the eye incident and especially after the window incident, he's making a more conscious effort to push them aside.
The fact of the matter is, Doumeki and Himawari are the two people that make him feel safest, the people he actually sees himself growing up with. He'd do pretty much anything for them, and. He's kind of guiltily aware they'd probably do anything for him.
THAT THING...WHERE THE BFFL...MAKE OUT AND STUFF
Awhile back, Doumeki and Himawari body switched and had to kiss in order to get it cured. Doumeki told him about it a couple days ago and--he yelled, sure, but only for a minute, and then he headed off to bake that cure for himself and Ichigo. All in all, though, I'd say he reacted extremely poorly--he actually surprised himself with...just how plain upset he was, and he couldn't pin down an exact reason as to why. Sure, he probably has had at least one horrible and conscious nightmare about Doumeki/Himawari, but. A lot of his...frustration with the concept has surprisingly little to do with the fact that Doumeki is not allowed to lay indecent hands on Himawari ever. Well, at least it's not the same YOU BASTARD D8 mentality he has in the first few volumes of the manga, anyway.
He's very likely the only one of the three who would really feel the threat of exclusion in the event that the other two...uh, hooked up. And he knows it's kind of stupid and incredibly unlikely, that he'd be left out or left behind at all, so he's also kind of annoyed with himself over the fact that he's even thought of it. And...yeah, there's this hurt that he knows is NOT VERY JUSTIFIED AT ALL. But he can't help it and he doesn't like the fact that he can't help it, that he's crap at making himself feel better and that he kind of sucks at this friendship thing.
And another thing: Doumeki told Watanuki he didn't particularly like girls and didn't like Himawari that way and. Watanuki just kind of made a :? face but he left it alone because as far as he knew/believed it didn't concern him. At all. And...he knows it's probably true, that Doumeki is Doumeki and just won't make something like that up for fun. This...is a kind of small comfort, yeah.
Is he jealous of anyone? Not really, no! Not of Doumeki and not of Himawari. He's becoming starkly aware of how dependent he is, though, and. He know he's being stupid and irrational and he just. Doesn't want to bother anyone about it and hopes to God he can fix it with a lot of precocious knitting and cooking and not talking to anyone about anything ever.
...right. So. Watanuki is taken from the beginning of volume twelve--after what I assume to be his sixteenth or seventeenth birthday celebration...around chapter 134.
At this point his feelings for Himawari have pretty obviously changed significantly from what they were around the beginning of the series! She was his best and only friend, sure, but also in the past someone he'd managed to distance himself from by idolizing her and...violently repressing any and all ideas that she wasn't OMG SO GREAT. I think part of why the reason he did this was because she was his only real friend at the time, and more willing to appreciate her simply on virtue of the fact that she was around--both of them having ostracized themselves in some way from the rest of the student body because of their crappy circumstances...yeah, of course he liked her for herself, because she was sweet and lovely and caring, but. He was a little lonely, and she was probably persistent whereas no one else really was, and he just couldn't bring himself to think that it wasn't completely one hundred percent worth it.
After the window incident, though, things have pretty obviously changed. There's a lot more intrinsic trust and real affection--Himawari now fully aware of his nature and vice versa--and while he still sparkles for her and prances around like a total retard, it's actually kind of toned down, because her friendship and her company and trust becomes that much more valuable than his bid for romance. Basically? LESS RETARD.
At this point he's also completely accepted Doumeki's, err, place in his life. He's still a bitch about it, but he's stopped fighting it tooth and nail and started...dealing, in his own way. Their dynamic, for the large part, hasn't changed, but there's very little real animosity anymore left in Watanuki--Doumeki is just really annoying D: And...during this transition Watanuki has been. Blushing. And flailing. IS THIS THE MYTHICAL GAY? Well. I think a lot of why Watanuki's getting flustered by this is because...well, letting Doumeki into his life is kind of mowing down his dignity. In previous volumes there was screeching and strangulation, but--letting things actually change...this is something he has to face with some small measure of humility, and he knows it. He's kind of reluctantly owning up to it.
Watanuki is a MASTER OF REPRESSION. There are a lot of intentional mental roadblocks there that have up to a certain point prevented him from fully realizing the kind of person Doumeki is. I'd say these roadblocks started wearing down after volume five or so, but. As of the eye incident and especially after the window incident, he's making a more conscious effort to push them aside.
The fact of the matter is, Doumeki and Himawari are the two people that make him feel safest, the people he actually sees himself growing up with. He'd do pretty much anything for them, and. He's kind of guiltily aware they'd probably do anything for him.
THAT THING...WHERE THE BFFL...MAKE OUT AND STUFF
Awhile back, Doumeki and Himawari body switched and had to kiss in order to get it cured. Doumeki told him about it a couple days ago and--he yelled, sure, but only for a minute, and then he headed off to bake that cure for himself and Ichigo. All in all, though, I'd say he reacted extremely poorly--he actually surprised himself with...just how plain upset he was, and he couldn't pin down an exact reason as to why. Sure, he probably has had at least one horrible and conscious nightmare about Doumeki/Himawari, but. A lot of his...frustration with the concept has surprisingly little to do with the fact that Doumeki is not allowed to lay indecent hands on Himawari ever. Well, at least it's not the same YOU BASTARD D8 mentality he has in the first few volumes of the manga, anyway.
He's very likely the only one of the three who would really feel the threat of exclusion in the event that the other two...uh, hooked up. And he knows it's kind of stupid and incredibly unlikely, that he'd be left out or left behind at all, so he's also kind of annoyed with himself over the fact that he's even thought of it. And...yeah, there's this hurt that he knows is NOT VERY JUSTIFIED AT ALL. But he can't help it and he doesn't like the fact that he can't help it, that he's crap at making himself feel better and that he kind of sucks at this friendship thing.
And another thing: Doumeki told Watanuki he didn't particularly like girls and didn't like Himawari that way and. Watanuki just kind of made a :? face but he left it alone because as far as he knew/believed it didn't concern him. At all. And...he knows it's probably true, that Doumeki is Doumeki and just won't make something like that up for fun. This...is a kind of small comfort, yeah.
Is he jealous of anyone? Not really, no! Not of Doumeki and not of Himawari. He's becoming starkly aware of how dependent he is, though, and. He know he's being stupid and irrational and he just. Doesn't want to bother anyone about it and hopes to God he can fix it with a lot of precocious knitting and cooking and not talking to anyone about anything ever.