Paris, marriage and other semi deep thoughts
We arrived in Paris late Sunday afternoon and after checking into the hotel we took a nap because we were both exhausted. We got dressed and were going out to dinner but as we were leaving, the concierge stopped us to say that there was a curfew because of the rioting in some of the other towns. Instead of venturing out and risking getting caught after curfew, we decided to eat in the hotel. It was actually very nice and not crowded at all so we were able to linger over our meal and enjoy having a conversation without being interrupted. After we finished neither of us wanted to go back to the room so we wandered into the bar and found a couch in one of the corners and ordered some wine. We sat and talked some more, drinking our wine and people watching until finally I looked at him and noticed a look in his eyes, one I knew very well. I didn't say anything, I simply smiled at him and got up and walked out. He followed me and we rode up to our room saying nothing but smiling at one another from time to time.
When we reached the door, Victor opened it and we went inside. As he closed it behind us I walked across the darkened room to open the curtains. The room was illuminated only by the moon, the stars and the lights of the city. I stood with my back to him looking at the view and he came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. We stood that way for several minutes, our bodies close in the dark, my head lying against his chest, our fingers entwined and then he leaned down to kiss my neck and I sighed with contentment. I turned in his arms and kissed him, tangling my fingers in his hair as he pulled me close and ran his hands over my body. We made our way over to the bed and quickly undressed one another and we made love with the lights of Paris shining around us.
Later we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms but I woke up an hour or so later. For a time I watched him sleep and then I started to think. I remembered a conversation I'd had with a friend a few years ago. We were 21 or 22 and she was about to be married. She'd had many boyfriends and was suffering from a little cold feet just before the wedding. She'd asked me then "How can I possibly think about spending the rest of my life with one man? I'll never kiss anyone else, I'll never sleep with anyone else. This is it" I laughed at her because I thought she was crazy to think about something like that. I understand it even better now.
It's still as wonderful to wake up to him as it was that first morning three years ago. I still get chills when he kisses me, I'm still discovering new things about him every day and I hope that he feels the same way about me. There's a lot to be said for familiarity, for knowing the little things that make him smile, for knowing his body as well as I know my own, for knowing just how to touch him to bring that look into his eyes that leaves no doubt as to what he's thinking. We know each other so well yet every time we're together we find something new in each other. It's easy to imagine sex becoming routine when you've been married for a while and there was a time when we fell into that trap too. I'm not sure how it happened but we came to see that we had to make time to recapture the magic and it's been the best thing we ever did.
At times like this, I often ask myself why I fought my feelings for so long. Why did I try so hard to convince myself that I didn't care, that being with him would be a huge mistake? The truth is though that if I'd given in, if we'd both given in, years ago, we might not appreciate what we have now. We might not realize how lucky we truly are. I love him so much and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I never get tired of telling him that either.
This is getting long and I'm getting sleepy so I'll stop for now. I'm not sure what is on the agenda for tomorrow but I'm hoping to find some of the people who are here so we can get together or something. Good luck to everyone competing this week but for now, good night.
Love to all,
Shae
When we reached the door, Victor opened it and we went inside. As he closed it behind us I walked across the darkened room to open the curtains. The room was illuminated only by the moon, the stars and the lights of the city. I stood with my back to him looking at the view and he came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. We stood that way for several minutes, our bodies close in the dark, my head lying against his chest, our fingers entwined and then he leaned down to kiss my neck and I sighed with contentment. I turned in his arms and kissed him, tangling my fingers in his hair as he pulled me close and ran his hands over my body. We made our way over to the bed and quickly undressed one another and we made love with the lights of Paris shining around us.
Later we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms but I woke up an hour or so later. For a time I watched him sleep and then I started to think. I remembered a conversation I'd had with a friend a few years ago. We were 21 or 22 and she was about to be married. She'd had many boyfriends and was suffering from a little cold feet just before the wedding. She'd asked me then "How can I possibly think about spending the rest of my life with one man? I'll never kiss anyone else, I'll never sleep with anyone else. This is it" I laughed at her because I thought she was crazy to think about something like that. I understand it even better now.
It's still as wonderful to wake up to him as it was that first morning three years ago. I still get chills when he kisses me, I'm still discovering new things about him every day and I hope that he feels the same way about me. There's a lot to be said for familiarity, for knowing the little things that make him smile, for knowing his body as well as I know my own, for knowing just how to touch him to bring that look into his eyes that leaves no doubt as to what he's thinking. We know each other so well yet every time we're together we find something new in each other. It's easy to imagine sex becoming routine when you've been married for a while and there was a time when we fell into that trap too. I'm not sure how it happened but we came to see that we had to make time to recapture the magic and it's been the best thing we ever did.
At times like this, I often ask myself why I fought my feelings for so long. Why did I try so hard to convince myself that I didn't care, that being with him would be a huge mistake? The truth is though that if I'd given in, if we'd both given in, years ago, we might not appreciate what we have now. We might not realize how lucky we truly are. I love him so much and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I never get tired of telling him that either.
This is getting long and I'm getting sleepy so I'll stop for now. I'm not sure what is on the agenda for tomorrow but I'm hoping to find some of the people who are here so we can get together or something. Good luck to everyone competing this week but for now, good night.
Love to all,
Shae