There is something incredibly centering and beautiful about being at home. Yet at the same time there is this small ache attempting to work its way through me that this will not always be my home... that my time here is genuinely coming to an end. That my parents will sell this house and move away after my brother graduates and I will live in a ( Read more... )

I can barely sit still right now. Which does not bode well for my huge oral report that I've barely started and I have to give at 1:15 tomorrow ( Read more... )

Apparently these are only going to be monthly posts. heh. Or maybe more depending on how the procrastination goes. Silly homework. Silly school ( Read more... )

So I've been here now for almost three weeks... and I've almost finished my second week of classes. Three weeks seems like a long time, right? So why don't I feel settled in yet? Logically I know everything takes time and finding friends takes time and feeling comfortable takes time and getting to know people takes time. It's hard, though, not ( Read more... )

Friends are genuinely what makes life worth living. Well, I should amend that to be true friends... as I've discovered. I was lamenting to my father that I needed new friends, but then I realized that I don't need new friends. More friends will be awesome at Stanford, but I actually have genuine friends... and I feel incredibly lucky. It just ( Read more... )

Man, Bumbershoot was exactly what I needed today. I'm glad I didn't go Friday even though I missed Death Cab, because there was no way in hell I would've been able to deal with it. But today was fabulous. Aveo rocked, and then Sofia, Alex and I danced for an hour and a half at the electronica venue. I haven't danced in so fucking long... I ( Read more... )

I just wish someone could tell me what to do.

Because I don't want to overreact, but I'm so nauseous right now... damnit. I don't want to be unnecessarily bitchy or freak out, because it isn't nearly as bad as it could have been... but then why the secrets? Man, it really makes you wonder who your real friends are. I mean, wouldn't YOU want to ( Read more... )

I hate rumors. Mostly because there is almost always some sort of truth in them... especially when the sources are pretty reliable. But then there's always the doubt... so do you pursue it and potentially offend someone who thought they had your trust? Or do you just let it go and maybe that nagging feeling will go away? But what does it matter ( Read more... )

I wish there was a way to make saying good bye to people easier. And I wish I knew how to read minds. And that boys knew how to communicate better... you know, actually talk and let you know how they're feeling/thinking. Luckily I have friends who help interpret... but what the fuck am I supposed to do at college by myself? I haven't even left ( Read more... )

Man it's been awhile since I've written. Mostly because I haven't had any time at all because my life has been work-eat at home-leave as quickly as possible and hang out with Ben-maybe sleep-repeat. Which works for awhile, but I am so burnt out I can barely see straight. Ben left today and I was over at his house until about 5 am this morning. ( Read more... )