Let Me Sing To You Tonight: This is War
Title: Let Me Sing to You Tonight
Pairing: Rachel Berry&&Quinn Fabray
Rating: T
Part: 7/10
Previous parts: | 1 | 2| 3| 4| 5| 6A| 6B|
Disclaimer: This is a work of my own mind, and reflects nothing of the included characters I've borrowed from the lucky ass who owns them. In other words, this is for fun, don't sue me!
Author's Note: Here’s the next part! Please leave your thoughts. :)
"You fucking idiot! No puedo creer que hagas eso!" Santana shrieked in Quinn's face, holding her tightly in place against the wall. The entire room stood still as Quinn dropped her gaze to the floor, sniffling and swiping at her tears while Santana continued ranting. "Cheating? After everything that happened in Lima, you pull this shit?"
Santana moved away from the blonde at the insistence of Brittany, who had gripped the fiery Latina's wrist firmly. The brunette muttered expletives in both Spanish and English under her breath, while moving to lean against the opposite wall. Brittany followed her fiancée, placing a calming hand on her arm while addressing Quinn.
"Santana's right, Q. Two wrongs don't make a right. But San, Quinn is hurt too and we need to be nicer than that. Rachel did a bad thing and Quinn can be mad if she wants to be." Brittany interjected, speaking serenely, unlike her volatile fiancée.
Groaning loudly, Santana dropped her head in her hands. "I know, Britt. But fuck, Quinn. Cheating? That's what you fell back on?"
Kirsten watched the tears welling up in Quinn's eyes as the girl slid down the wall to collapse on the floor and moved to interject, placing a comforting hand on the blonde's head and stroking her hair softly. "I think we should all agree that both parties were definitely in the wrong. But there's not much we can do about that anymore." Brittany and Santana nodded their agreement and the brunette continued, "I think the next logical step is to talk to Rachel."
Quinn's head immediately shot up, her eyes wide in fear. "No. I can't go and talk to her. I don't think I'd even be able to look at her."
A pained look crossed Kirsten's face and the girl crouched beside the other barista with a soft smile, taking Quinn's hands in her own. "Listen, Q. There's another side to this. I know that the last thing you want to do right now is confront Rachel but the truth is that we really don't know much for sure."
"Kirsten- she cheated-" Quinn strained out, eyes pleading with the girl by her side. "Please don't make me go-"
Brittany pulled away from Santana and moved towards the other blonde, coming to a smooth stop and pulling Quinn up into a warm hug. "You have to, Q. You're a grown up, remember? And sometimes, grown-ups have to do things they don't really want to do. If it makes it easier, S and I can come with you."
"Britt, you don't understand. After what she did; after what she saw, I just- I don't know if I could ever face her again."
"I don't know, Q. I really think there's something we're missing." Brittany murmured softly, dropping her eyes to the floor and shuffling her feet. "I just think that you'll regret it if you don't go see Rachel."
Kirsten stepped forward, letting out a shaky breath before smiling weakly at both blondes. "I'll come, too. What are friends for, right?"
The singer swallowed thickly, her heart pounding in her chest at the thought of confronting Rachel. She turned her head when she felt a pair of familiar arms circle her waist and Santana's voice float into her ear. "We'll do this together, Q. Unholy Trinity, remember?"
"Plus one." Kirsten added, with a wink in Quinn's direction.
Nodding, the singer agreed hesitantly. "Okay. But we need a plan because I am not going to confront Rachel Berry without a plan."
The group separated, all rearranging themselves on Quinn's bed. Santana sighed loudly, as she situated herself with her head in her girlfriend's lap. "I say we break down the door, corner the midget and tell her she's a cheating whore."
"San!" Brittany chided, gently slapping the Latina on the arm.
Kirsten shrugged, looking up at Quinn. "I'm kind of in on Santana's plan. You cheated too but she started it all. There's no way she can play victim in this."
Brittany groaned, letting her head drop back against the headboard. "Quinn, go and talk to her."
"About what, Britt!" Quinn snapped, glaring at the dancer. "You keep telling me to talk to her but you're not really giving me any fucking ideas so-"
"Watch it, Fabray." Santana hissed out, her face suddenly mere inches away from Quinn's. "Brittany is trying to help you. Back off, now."
"San, it's okay." Brittany tried to interject, but the other blonde held up a hand.
"She's right. I'm sorry, B. I'm just frustrated and hurt and angry and- I don't know how to get it out of my body, you know?"
"Yeah, it's like a cage. You can see what's waiting on the outside, but it's not always easy to find how to get there." The dancer supplied as she raked her fingers through Santana's hair, hoping to calm the other girl down. "But you should like ask her why and tell her how you feel, you know?"
"Yeah, Britt. I know. It's just not that easy." Quinn sighed. "But I'm a grown up, right?"
Brittany nodded, an enormous smile blossoming on her face. "You definitely are, Q."
The ride to Rachel's had been terse and Quinn could feel her stomach turning as she watched Kirsten navigate through the New York traffic.
When the car came to a stop in front of Rachel's building, the blonde barista feared hyperventilation as her heart constricted in her chest and all air escaped her lungs. Clenching Brittany's hand tightly in her own, Quinn pleaded with the girls in the car once more, hoping for nothing more than to climb in her bed and sleep forever.
It was only when Santana turned around and snapped at her, that Quinn found herself scrambling to get out of the car. She took a few steps forward, only to turn back around and send a desperate glance back at the car. Finding no sympathy from her friends, the blonde turned and trudged up to the stoop.
Nodding stiltedly at the doorman, Quinn whispered her thanks before slipping inside and approaching the stairs that would lead her to Rachel's floor and ultimately, the brunette's apartment. Wincing at each creak, she looked at her feet almost willing them to stop their betrayal before they announced her arrival prematurely.
It seemed like it had only been an hour ago when Kirsten had let Brittany and Santana in to the apartment, yet here was Rachel's door. Shooting a pathetic glance down to the front entrance, Quinn wondered how she ended up outside of her cheating girlfriend's home alone.
Almost alone, she corrected. Her support system waited in Kirsten's car just outside the building, ready at the drop of a hat to rush to Quinn's rescue. Santana had initially insisted on coming inside with Quinn but a gentle chiding from Brittany helped to avert the would-be disaster.
The pale girl lifted her hand, pausing to take a deep breath to prepare herself for what would come next. Forming a fist, Quinn knocked twice against the wood, announcing her arrival to the occupant inside. When the door didn't swing open, the blonde found herself leaning against the heavy door, straining to hear any noise from inside.
The realization dawned upon Quinn that no one was home. Blanching, she realized with a groan that she hadn't prepared for Rachel to not be at her apartment. The thought of the brunette trudging her way up the stairs at this very moment left Quinn leaning against the banister for support. Taking several deep breaths, she turned on her heel, ready to flee to safety when the sounds of a lock turning caught her attention.
Freezing, the blonde closed her eyes and willed herself to be blessed with the ability to become invisible. A soft voice called her from behind and Quinn prayed the disappointment wasn't obvious on her face as she turned back around to meet the gaze of Rachel.
The brunette leaned against the doorway, adorning a large worn in sweater and worrying her bottom lip in confusion. Hazel eyes dragged up long tan legs, the blonde's hands itching for nothing more than to explore the exposed skin. Shaking her head, Quinn let her eyes meet Rachel's briefly before taking a hesitant step forward. "Sorry for coming here- um, unannounced. I just- I think we need to talk."
Pursing her lips, the brunette seemed to scrutinize the girl in front of her before stepping aside and gesturing Quinn to enter with a terse nod.
Quinn found herself sitting stiffly on the couch, a glass of water placed gingerly in front of her full to the brim. Rachel moved around the table to sit directly in front of the blonde, gulping down half of the large, star-adorned glass of water before placing it on a coaster in front of her.
Rachel's eyes were glued to the floor, unable to meet Quinn's gaze for so long that the blonde found herself squirming uncomfortably. The silence in the apartment was deafening, nothing like the other times the singer had been here.
"I'm surprised you came this early." Rachel stated softly, chancing a glance up at the girl.
Quinn startled, more surprised at the intrusion of thoughts than she wanted to let on. "What?" Brow furrowing, she frowned inwardly at her inability to successfully string more than a few words together.
"I knew well enough to expect this conversation but I must admit that I wasn't prepared to have it this soon." Rachel reiterated, twisting her hands restlessly in her lap.
Quinn pursed her lips, eyes squinting as she took in the brunette's posture. "I don't follow, Rachel."
"I know you know." Rachel breathed out softly, the words resounding in Quinn's mind.
Feeling fear crawl up her spine, the pale girl squirmed in her seat as she looked up meeting a chocolate gaze. "I don't- I don't follow. What do you mean, Rachel?"
"You were at the theatre last night and I was at the café. You're here to talk about this." Rachel stated, her voice carrying an edge of irritation, as she gestured loosely between the two of them.
"How do you know that, Rachel?" Quinn asked, feeling sick to her stomach as the bile rose up her throat. Reaching forward, she clutched at the glass of water in front of her and drank nearly the entire glass in one breath, relief setting in as she felt the cool liquid somewhat satiate her burning insides.
When going to place the cup back down, Quinn noted the slight tremble in her hands and looked up at the quiet hum coming from Rachel. The brunette was watching her as intently as she had ever been, eyes curious and lips tugging into a small smile. "I do that when I'm scared or upset." At the confusion apparent on the blonde's face, the actress continued. "Drink water, I mean. I've had this glass since I was young and whenever I was upset, I'd go and fill it to the very brim only to drink it all." A soft chuckle, terrifyingly humorless, escaped from the shorter girl as she toyed with a lifted edge of one of the stars on her glass.
Quinn could feel her heart thundering in her chest, her blood pulsing in her ears, finding it hard to breathe and even harder yet to speak. Still she managed to croak out, confusion and terror lacing each syllable. "Rachel, y-you need to tell me exactly what you're talking about."
The brunette seemed scarily unnerved, sitting calmly across from the other girl. The blonde found it hard to admit that she had preferred when the actress at lease seemed somewhat unsettled. "Quinn-"
"No. You knew I was there and you still cheated?" The taller girl interjected, leaning forward and gripping the edge of the cushion she was seated upon.
"Well-" Rachel attempted to clarify, only to be cut off again by a sound of disbelief. The brunette huffed angrily, biting out viciously. "Let me finish, Quinn!"
"Fuck." Quinn breathed out, terror seeping out of her body, leaving her slumped in her seat.
The tan girl tried once more, becoming agitated at the consistent interruption she found. "No, Quinn- You don't understand."
"No, no, Rachel. You don't understand." The blonde whispered angrily, rage bubbling up inside her. "Fuck you. D-Do you have any idea what you did to me? I- I fucking watched you screw the guy-and and- not just any guy, Rachel. I watched you fuck your director just so you could get a role in a play!"
Rachel's eyes were narrowed now, anger evident in her features at the accusatory tone directed at her. "Stop it, Qui-!"
"No!" Quinn was on her feet now, throwing her arms up angrily as she began pacing from side to side. "You-you totally fucking-"
"I didn't cheat!" Rachel exclaimed, shooting to her own feet and advancing on the other girl. The brunette was red in the face, a scowl embedded on her features as she watched Quinn's entire body still at the confession.
"What?" Confusion dripped from the blonde's words, her brow crinkled in puzzlement. "I don't- I don't understand."
" I know you don't!" Exasperated, Rachel threw her hands up in the air and collapsed onto the couch. "I said, I didn't cheat and I didn't. Frankly, I find it absurd that you would assume that I would ever drop to such a level for a role. I respect myself far too much and I'm disappointed in you."
"But I saw you." Quinn's voice seemed so small that it managed to break even her own heart. Swallowing down the sob threatening to rip from her chest, she attempted to speak again with more confidence. "I saw you…cheat. I saw you let the director- Greg-" Quinn spat out the name angrily, sending a withering glare in Rachel's direction when the girl let out a loud scoff.
"What you saw, Quinn, is called acting. Greg is, in fact, a great friend of mine who agreed to help me test you." Rachel stated, crossing her arms and staring at the blonde with a smug, matter of fact look on her face.
The blonde girl recoiled, struggling to comprehend exactly what the actress was telling her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Quinn snapped out, her mournful eyes betraying her anger. "You were- You were testing me?"
"Yes, Quinn." Rachel supplied, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "Actresses are often bombarded with rumors that are more frequently false than true and their relationships suffer from this fact. I needed to know if I could trust you to come to me with any worries and concerns, rather than simply falling prey to the 'rumor mill' as the media so lovingly calls it." Rachel continued on as she reached for her glass of water, taking several large gulps of water before continuing on. "It was all a farce; simply put, it was an elaborate way to test how well I could trust you and how much you trusted me. Frankly, I must admit, you didn't quite react the way I had hoped." The bitterness lacing the brunette's words turned the singer's stomach who felt sicker than she had at the theatre.
Quinn's face had drained of all color and she found herself unable to support herself on her own two feet. Shakily, she resumed her seat before turning towards Rachel with wonderment clearly written on her face.
"You- you lied to me about so much; so much, Rachel and you'reupset?" She managed to ask, unable to completely wrap her head around the situation.
Rachel's eyebrows quirked up at the question and she bit back a retort, choosing instead to answer the question in a more flippant manner. "Why, yes, Quinn. What would you expect me to feel when I followed you to the café only to find you in the arms of Kirsten? To be honest, I had expected tears, anger, a fight to have followed, but to find you choosing to simply fuck someone else, as you so delicately put it earlier, was not what I expected."
"You're fucking with me, right?" Quinn laughed out in disbelief. "I thought you cheated on me! I just wanted to make you feel what I felt!"
Rachel clicked her tongue softly, looking at the other girl with such disdain that the blonde felt the sudden urge to slap the look off her face. "That's vengeful, Quinn. Another trait in people that is less than desirable."
"Insecurity is another big one, Berry." The blonde bit out, gathering to her feet and snatching up her purse. "You've got another thing coming if you think that what you pulled was okay."
"N-no. I didn't cheat. I lied b-but it was only to make sure you could be trust-trusted." Rachel looked taken aback at this statement, stammering as she found herself unable to reply as coherently as she had hoped. Clearing her throat, she nodded to herself as she repeated, "It was just a test, Quinn."
"No, Rachel!" Quinn rounded on the shorter girl, her voice rising sever decibels. "That's where you're wrong. It wasn't just a test, or just a white lie. What you did- it was a mind fuck. You took my trust, whatever I had and absolutely shattered it."
Laughing bitterly, the singer pulled back and sneered at Rachel. "You're right. You didn't cheat. But you did lose your girlfriend."
A flash of hurt crossed the brunette's face but the girl managed to compose herself in record time. "Unfortunately, Quinn, you are correct. But I intended on breaking up with you during this talk. You're delusional if you think, for even one second, that you're walking away from this situation with your hands clean of any sin."
"God, Rachel. I pity anyone who ends up with you." Quinn whispered lowly, shaking her head disbelievingly, moving towards the door.
Almost like a switch, Rachel gripped Quinn's hand tightly in her own, looking up at her through thick eyelashes with teary eyes, "Don't. Don't do that. You- You have no idea what I've been through. I- I had to know if you'd ignore the rumors or if you'd let them get to you like everyone else."
Quinn paused, reveling for a moment in the nearness of the brunette, her senses bombarded with the wafting smell of coconut from Rachel's shampoo. Shaking her head and pulling herself out of her reverie, the blonde gently extracted her hand from the other girl's. "If someone had told me you were sleeping with the director, I would have come to you, but you let me see it. How am I supposed to come to you when it's not a rumor anymore?"
Rachel looked shocked as her hands dropped to her side, a soft 'Fuck' escaping her.
Taking one last look at the shaking brunette in front of her, Quinn walked to the door and took hold of the doorknob where she found herself faltering. The soft whimpering of her name had the barista looking over her shoulder, concern etched into her features.
"I'm sorry, Quinn. I'm so sorry." Rachel murmured, looking up at the blonde, one hand outreached towards her.
It took every ounce of willpower for Quinn not to run back to Rachel in that moment, but the blonde steeled herself and turned the doorknob, whispering softly into the apartment before closing the door and heading home.
"I'm sorry, too, Rach."