Fic: The Perfect(?) McCoy-Pike Christmas
“Do you think she’ll like it?”
Chris turns his focus from the small music box he’s considering for his mom in the next stall over. He can’t help but chuckle at Len’s face. So full of hope that Chris will approve of his choice, and yet scowling at the necklace draped from his hand as if it will bite him.
Chris untangles his gloved hand from Len’s and rubs the back of the other man’s neck over the scarf that is protecting his neck from the cold winter chill of the Denver air. He sneaks a quick kiss behind Len’s ear as the owner of the little booth is distracted by another customer. “I think you’re her daddy and she’d whatever you gave her.”
Len harrumphs. “She’s not seven anymore Chris. And it’s our first Christmas as a family. I want thing to be perfect.”
Chris doubts it will be perfect. Little has ever been with them. They’ve been problematic from the start. But he wants this for Len, and he’s excited to have Joanna with them for the holidays. It still feels strange to think of her as his daughter, but he’s embracing the whole step parent thing with relish. Chris looks at the necklace again, and has to admit it does look like something Jo would like. He squeezes Lens arm, “I think it looks great, hon. She’ll love it.”
Len nods, and hands the credits to the booth owner who wraps the necklace up. He takes Chris hand again as soon as the transaction is done, and Chris smiles. It’s not something he’d have ever expected, that gruff grouchy Len McCoy would be a clingy lover, but he enjoys it.
And it’s not that Len is clingy so much as he likes to be affectionate, little kisses snuck whenever he can, hands held tight to remind Len that he’s not going anywhere, huddling for warmth as an excuse to nuzzle Chris’ neck. Chris never expected it, nor that he would like it so much, be he can’t think of a better way to kill time after the shuttles unexpected landing in Denver instead of Atlanta as planned.
And that had been a source of drama all in itself. Len, despite years in Starfleet is still jumpy as hell when it comes to shuttles and transporters. So the malfunctioning shuttle, while a minor cause for concern with Chris was a cause for utter panic for Len. Len had been nearly inconsolable. It was only Chris, whispering low and dirty into Len's ear what he was going to do to him as soon as they were at their destination, which kept Len from losing it completely. And they were not even back to Atlanta yet. So yes, Chris thought perfect might be out of reach. However, he would do his damnedest to ensure that his husband and step daughter had as close to a perfect Christmas as possible.
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They finally make it to Atlanta four hours later than expected. Len is still a mess of nerves, wrung out from traveling but as Chris picks up their rental car and they make their way to Len’s old family home, the man seems to relax a bit. Enough to let the smallest of smiles creep onto his face, and Chris is eternally grateful for that.
They pull into the driveway of the old family home that had been in the McCoy family for generations. And seeing the soft glow of a light inside Chris is so happy he arranged for someone to come clean the dust away and make sure everything was in working order for their month long stay. This trip is the first time they will have inhabited the house as a married couple, and the first time anyone will have occupied it in nearly two years since Len had last been deployed in space.
Len is quiet as they unpack the car, and Chris knows him well enough to know that he’s overcome. It’s been a long time since Len has been in this house, and it still holds the ghosts of his past. There is the room that Chris has never been in, with its door drawn tightly shut. It was Len’s parent’s room, and Chris knows that it’s also where David McCoy died. So yeah, he’s never seen the inside of it, and perhaps never will. And it’s exactly those sort of things, like the garden in the back of the house where Len’s mother grew a dozen different colors and species of roses, that force the first few minutes of Len’s arrival to be silent and somber, as if he has to reacquaint himself both with the loss of his parents and rediscover how to combat the ghost of their memories.
Chris mostly just lets Len ramble around for a bit. He lets Len handle carrying their bags up to their room and heads to the kitchen, which had been fully stocked by the same person who’d opened the house up. He starts to prepare dinner, letting Len ruminate, and he knows from past visits that by the time dinner is ready and Joanna has arrived Len will be fine again.
An hour and a half later, Chris grins to himself as he finds his internal predictions to have proved correct. Joanna has arrived and is talking excitedly with her father in the living room when Chris calls them both to the table for dinner.
And this, the three of them gathered around the dinner table, together chatting and eating is perhaps perfection. And Chris once again feels a little guilty about his negative thoughts earlier.
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Chris’ belief in the possibility for that perfect Christmas that Len keeps talking about, that he’d done nothing but talk about in coms for three months before the Enterprise had docked for their shore leave/retrofit lasts exactly 24 hours. By the next day Chris already smells something rotten in Denmark, so to speak. Chris has known Joanna for years, and while this may be their first married Christmas, it’s hardly the first holiday Chris has spent with Len and Joanna. And in all that time, Jo’s always been sweet, friendly, inclusive, and easy going.
However, since they had arrived in Atlanta she’s been none of those things. Chris has forgotten how elusive and subversively hostile 12 year olds can be, especially 12 year old girls. It had started at breakfast this morning. Chris had cooked and Len was going to wash the dishes so that Joanna and Chris could have a few minutes to chat alone.
Joanna however had other ideas, she insisted on helping her father clean up. And Chris thought nothing of it, attributing the snub to missing her father over months of nothing but pre-recorded calls.
Then at lunch she’d gone out of her way to sit next to her father, while ensuring that Chris sat on the other side of her and as far away from Len as possible. The moment it really clicked that Joanna was up to something came just a few moments ago. The three were planning on watching a movie. Chris was sitting on the couch waiting for Len and Jo to bring in popcorn and drinks.
Len came in and sat down next to Chris, and Joanna came in and proceeded to wedge herself between them. When Len asked her to move she refused. That was just a few moments ago, at present Chris finds himself alone ruminating on the couch.
From his perch there he can hear the screaming going on from upstairs.
He hears Len, exasperation clear in his voice, half shout, “Fine then stay in there, you can come out when you’re done acting like a child.”
Len stomps down the stairs and has the grace to look a bit chagrined when he offers Chris a rueful shrug of his shoulders, “I’m sorry darlin’ I don’t know what has gotten into her tonight.”
Chris scoffs internally, oh he could make a guess as to what is her problem; however he will keep his personal feelings to himself for the moment. He offers his hand to Len, pulling him down to the couch and wrapping arms around him, offering him comfort. “Don’t worry about it sweetheart, hopefully it will pass by tomorrow.” Chris isn’t holding his breath but he’ll keep that to himself too.
“God damn it Chris, I hope so. I want this Christmas to be special, it’s the first one as a family, a real family, I want her to share that too. And besides all that, I raised her better than that damn it.”
Chris chuckles, pressing a kiss to Len’s temple, “well some would say that fighting on Christmas means we are a real family.”
Len huffs in indignation and Chris rushes on. “It may not be perfect baby, but as long as we are all together it’ll be Christmas.”
Len sighs, resting his head on Chris’ chest, “you’re right. I love you.”
“Love you too.” Chris starts the movie, and he thinks he hears a door slamming upstairs, but pretends not to notice for Len’s sake. And damn he misses the old Jo. The one who used to fight with Jim or Len to push that damn chair, like she had the first time they met, or the little girl who would send him drawings to put up in his office, the way she did when he and Len first met, or hell the young lady who loved to tell him about her interest in engineering, oh she doesn’t know that’s what it is yet, but she loves to take things apart and figure out what makes them tick and then put them back together. And he had plenty of things at the ranch in Mojave to let her play with and has always sent them to her whenever she asks for something new. And yet, ever since he and Len exchanged vows she’s been different, colder, and now well even hostile towards him. And dammed if he plans to let it ruin Len’s dream of Christmas, he’s not sure he can manage perfect, but he’s hoping for civil.
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Things continue to grow tense over the next two days, with Joanna moving from rude, to challenging, to openly hostile. Chris is agitated beyond belief and Len waffles between devastates and apologetic.
Chris is sitting on the back porch staring out onto open land, so unlike his ranch and so similar at the same time. He can’t figure out what to do. He’d talked to Jim this morning, in a moment of sheer desperation.
Christmas is two days away and he’s seriously worried that father or daughter will explode and ruin the whole affair. Jim had been nearly as surprised by Jo’s behavior as Chris and Len, but then grown quiet and offered a solemn bit of wisdom from his own experiences. All in all he’d merely confirmed Chris’ own theory. Now all he needs is a few moments to talk to Joanna alone. And he hopes that the conversation will eliminate the issue.
And if anyone asked him, Chris wouldn’t be able to say why giving Len a perfect Christmas is this important, it just is. It’s his first act as a husband and a step father and he’s sort of terrified at what failure might bring for the state of their family in the future. And beyond all that Chris refuses to be a step parent that Joanna will one day come to hate. He’s seen firsthand what that can do to a child as they grow into adulthood and he refuses to cause the girl that sort of heartache.
It’s these thoughts and the general sense of both nausea and impending doom that cause Chris to miss the back door sliding open and the heavy steps of Len’s booted feet until he feels his husbands hand rest on his shoulder.
“Chris?”
“Hey hon, I didn’t hear you.”
Len’s lips quirk into a smile, “I figured. Darlin’ I need to ask you something.”
Chris turns to look at Len and his husband looks suspiciously hesitant and worried. Chris knows what that means. “They called you from the hospital?”
Len nods, “I don’t have to go I don’t work for them anymore, but words got around that we are in town and an old colleague of mine called. They need my help with an emergency trauma. A minivan and one of the city transport vehicles had a nasty crash; a couple young kids need some tricky neruo surgery...”
Chris interrupted him, kissing his hand before he spoke, “go sweetheart, I’ll keep an eye on Jo.”
Chris notices that Len looks half torn and half surprised he isn’t going to fight him over dashing off to the hospital. Chris sighs and stands to pull Len into a hug. “I’m not her, baby. I knew you were a doctor when I married you. Go on, we’ll still be here when you are done.”
Len nods, pulls Chris in for a long kiss and manages one last bit of information before dashing off towards the rental car parked in the driveway. “I told Jo I was going. She’s sulking in her room.”
Chris nods and watches Len walk across the yard to the drive, before heading back into the house and upstairs to Joanna’s room. He glances around the open door jam and finds her face down into a pillow, the soft hiccupping sounds of tears muffled into the pillow. Chris sighs and pads quietly into the room, sitting gently on the bed beside her and without hesitation placing a comforting hand on her back.
She flinches mostly in surprise, but he refuses to move his hand and she doesn’t shove it off. She doesn’t speak either.
He speaks his voice pitched low and soothing, “what’s wrong, Jo?”
She sniffles, and mutters a truly pathetic, “I don’t want to talk to you.”
Chris nods and rubs her back soothingly, “okay, then just listen. I think I know why you’ve been acting the way you have recently.”
“Doubt it. How could you possibly understand?”
Chris smirks, because really in the long list of terrifying and mystifying things he’s seen in his life and twelve year old girl hardly cracks the top twenty on the list, but he decides against saying that. “Well I know what I’d be upset about if my dad had gotten married again.”
She cries harder into the pillow and Chris frowns, it’s not going according to plan at all. “Joanna I’m not trying to take him away from you.”
She sits up suddenly her eyes rimmed red, “I know that.”
He’s shocked, and okay maybe she is a little more confusing then he thinks. “So will you tell me what the problem is then?”
She sighs, “You both are going to get sick of me.”
Chris knows his mouth is hanging open a bit, but really that one is so out of left field that he can’t even respond. Not that she gives him time to anyway.
“It’s gonna be like Momma and Clay. They only ever wanna be together the two of them. I mean they went to France for Christmas! Like France isn’t there all the freaking time. They’d rather eat stinky cheese and screw each other than spend time with me. It’s always like that too. All the fun stuff they do together, and never take me. And they always talk about how they can’t wait to get away again. Get away from me, no one ever wants me.”
And Joanna’s voice trails off into sobs again as she dives for the pillow rather than let him see her cry. But Chris won’t accept that. He drags her up and pulls her in against him.
“Oh Jo. I can’t speak for your momma or Clay, but your daddy and I are over the moon about having you here with us. It’s all your dad has talked about for months. The first McCoy-Pike family Christmas, he wants this to be perfect for you, for all of us, to celebrate being an official family. And Jo, I’ve missed you. I’ve been trying to talk to you for days, but you’ve been too busy pushing us away to see it. If I only wanted to spend time with your dad would I have bothered to do that?”
She sniffs and rubs her nose against his shirt, “I guess not. But how come you don’t make me call you dad or pop or something like that? Clay tried to make me.”
Chris sighs, “Jo you can call me whatever you want, as long as it’s appropriate for polite conversation. You have a daddy, I’m not trying to replace him, or cut him out of your life, honey. I just want a place in your life too. We’re family now. But you’re not a little girl anymore; I’m not going to make you call me something you don’t want to just to feel like a family. I’d rather we treated each other like family. Okay?”
Joanna sighs and wipes her eyes, before taking a look at him to gauge his earnestness. She seems satisfied with what she sees, “okay. And I’m sorry about how I been actin’.”
Chris smirks, and presses a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Forgiven, just make sure you apologize to your daddy too okay?”
She nods, “sure. But Chris, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, honey.”
She glances down at her lap, and blushes as she quietly asks, “Would it be okay, if maybe sometimes I call you papa?”
Chris feels like his heart might explode. He’s so overwhelmed with shock and delight and a little bit of pride. His voice is tight, and he can barely form words, “sure. I’d be honored, Jo.”
She beams at him and stands up pulling him up behind her. “Wanna make pecan brittle with me? It’s nana McCoy’s secret recipe. I ain’t allowed to make it without adult supervision, and only family can know the recipe. But you and daddy are married now, so you’re family.”
Chris nods and allows her to drag him down to the kitchen. He’s overwhelmed; he never imagined he might be a father. But Joanna has a way of making him feel like he might be okay at it. And she knows how to make his heart swell with pride and love and joy. He thought he’d never love Len more than the day he married him. But standing the kitchen with his husband’s daughter, learning how to make generations old candy, he knows that’s not true. He loves Len more now than he ever has. And he also finally has a family, and it may not be perfect or uncomplicated but it’s a family all the same.
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Chris is content Christmas morning, sitting on the couch, a hot toddy in one hand Len’s hand linked with his other. They both laugh as they watch Jo tear into her pile of presents.
She pauses long enough to ask a question, “how come you two ain’t opening presents?”
Len laughs, “You’ll understand it when you’re a parent, baby. Sometimes the best present is watching your kids open theirs.”
Joanna shakes her head, “I don’t get it.”
Chris laughs, “It’s okay Jo Jo. Go on, open your gifts.”
She shakes her head, “I will. But if you two are gonna sit there and just watch me, then let’s have a Christmas toast at least, its tradition after all right daddy?”
Len nods, and offers an explanation for Chris benefit. “Sure is baby. My daddy always stopped us mid present unwrapping to offer a Christmas toast. I always thought he did it just to make us kids squirm when we wanted nothing more than to open presents.”
Chris can’t help but stifle a laugh. Everything he’s ever heard about the man makes him think he’d have liked David McCoy. And he reflects for a moment, silently thanking the man for raising such an amazing son, allowing Chris to have such an amazing husband. “What should we toast too?”
“To family,” Len suggests.
Joanna smiles as she offers, “The first ever McCoy-Pike Christmas.”
Chris looks between Joanna and Len and suggests, “The perfect McCoy-Pike Christmas.”
Len and Jo nod and they all clink mugs to make it official. And Chris laughs as Joanna goes back to tearing open her gifts with a chocolate mustache. Len steals a kiss, and Chris knows that despite the many more Christmases to come. This one will be his favorite. He never knew something could be perfect, then horrible, and then tolerable and then perfect once again, but this, their first family Christmas has been all of those things. But it also solidified their relationships to one another, forced them to define their family. And for that reason, perfect or not, it will always be his favorite Christmas.