Why do you want to talk to Ryan again? I'm asking sincerely. He sounds like a jerk. If I'm being brutally honest it sounds like you should really stop drinking. Like, please do stop. But he slut shamed you when you weren't even having sex with anyone. And btw, Ryan, having sex with people is a right we adults have. And you did all that because you were actually scared of a sexual encounter. And you chose him for safety and he demeaned you.
Why do you want to be friends with someone who thinks demeaning, sexist things about you? :(
You're right. That whole situation was super fucked! Insult to injury all over the place! I need more people in my life who will believe me--especially when I'm upset.
I feel really suspicious of Billy's nice guy routine as well. The whole "if I was your man" thing is so lame. It smacks of red pill/nice guy thinking where they think that being polite/friendly = she should have sex with me. It's a sick entitlement.
I don't know if you wanted my opinion on any of this. I understand if it's crossing the line. But I see you being hurt and it's the death of a thousand blades. Everyone is hurting you, and you're still trying to recover from the last thing.
When he gets really drunk, he's so hard to deal with. He's a great friend when he's sober, but that guy is slowly fading away. The last time he stayed at my place, the condition was that he stay sober. Now he's out of control, and he needs to fix it or leave. So, probably leave.
I've always valued your opinion. No need to worry about crossing any lines. It is hard to recover when things keep happening. In a way it's like having to start over and over. I'm hoping that things will ease a little after the holidays are done. But in the meantime I'm going to do a better job of looking out for myself.
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Why do you want to be friends with someone who thinks demeaning, sexist things about you? :(
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I feel really suspicious of Billy's nice guy routine as well. The whole "if I was your man" thing is so lame. It smacks of red pill/nice guy thinking where they think that being polite/friendly = she should have sex with me. It's a sick entitlement.
I don't know if you wanted my opinion on any of this. I understand if it's crossing the line. But I see you being hurt and it's the death of a thousand blades. Everyone is hurting you, and you're still trying to recover from the last thing.
Reply
I've always valued your opinion. No need to worry about crossing any lines. It is hard to recover when things keep happening. In a way it's like having to start over and over. I'm hoping that things will ease a little after the holidays are done. But in the meantime I'm going to do a better job of looking out for myself.
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