a chilly night with a breeze sends me shooting back six years, and then ages me decades. i'm not sure what this means. or why a glittering gold sky painted quiet secrets above me, next to me and inside of me. and i can't hear them. not yet. but i hope i will know soon.

i ask for blue eyes mirrored in tablets as big as my pupils and for a cut straw. sink in a bed made of oceans and try to keep body balanced while mind plunges and emerges, up and down and curves around the room, vanilla light stemming from whipping candle flames. i ask for apple juice and a hug, praise yawei for a drink of wine. "it's on your lips ( Read more... )

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icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
he is born again and it's not easy being me
but i can't promise i will mend or bend
when you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
and i've just fallen back to earth

in town briefly, not gone so long but the sea air trapezes in my formative years through aubrey's open top. i tell myself, this is one of the last nights driving by the ocean. and the fucking moon wasn't even out. i see cars parked on little sandy side streets, see the blue glow of a cd player and two bodies sitting next to each other but so far ( Read more... )

i've always really hated this time of year. what goes up, must come down.

got really drunk on crown royal at this dive bar by my house. i have become the best at making playlists on the jukebox. wandered around seabreeze inebriated, was kind of kidnapped and dragged into every bar except that one i needed to be at. sorry, randy. sent a lot of drunken texts, maybe i shouldn't do that anymore. i haven't been able to ( Read more... )

as i walk through the streets of my new city ( Read more... )

i have the keys but not the bed. dreams of a big city where i never thought i would belong, some of my favorite boys kissing girls i haven't seen since middle school, a boy kissing me on benches outside of central park. a shabby apartment with wooden, broken shutters. nightmares about school. i'll miss my golden dog, i'll miss my parents and i'll ( Read more... )

-this will be my last summer off. i need to finish my degree as soon as possible ( Read more... )