Fini! Accompli!

[slightfoxing]

Hmmm, I wish I knew french. I did German at school. When I say 'did' I mean, we gave our German teacher a nervous breakdown in year nine and then proceeded to see off fourteen substitute teachers before failing our GCSEs. Ich ... er, nicht .. sprechen ze deutsch or something or other, but I do have a good grasp of how to send someone insane. Ah

Comments

[nillion]

Hmm... very interesting. Poor guy. Poor situation. I like it a lot, particularly the history. The demon's continual habit of providing information the main character didn't know got overdone a bit, though.

[kanarthi]

He's not a poor guy, Nil; he's just dead. It happens to us all.

Anyway, I liked it, Slightfoxing. There is a feeling of atmosphere, kind of. Nice. I sense the the demon was influenced a lot by something you read (or saw, or...), but I don't know what the something was.

I, unfortunately, don't like the ending very much. But I do. It's weird. I don't like the ending, but I feel that not liking the ending is the right way to feel (for me, at least). Slightfoxing, I like this story a lot.

If I wanted to nitpick, I would say that I wish you would have just 1 more sentence about Andrew. We hear a bit more about Charlotte, and really only 1 more mention slipped in would be enough.

[slightfoxing]

Aw, thanks for reading and commenting guys! *feels warm and fuzzy*

The demon, I don't know where it came from. Nothing conscious. I think I needed something to represent that 'thing' that we all talk to in our heads.

The ending is sad, and inevitable. I suppose it's not meant to feel very fufilling/complete because, well, he's dead ... what can he do? He gets the chance most of us would want, to see a loved one one last time. But he can't change anything. Can I ask what you didn't like about it?

Nil, I can get rid of the first kiss part. That is not needed.

More about Andrew ... yes, there was going to be more. Hmm. I'll have a think.

Thanks again!

[kanarthi]

I meant poor because of him losing his memories of Jeanie. I don't care about dying that much, but losing your memories, who you were, is kinda nasty. I got the strange feeling it wasn't set in stone that he was going to lose his memories, but it was because he was telling the demon. 'Course, that's partly from a prejudge against demons.

[kanarthi]

Is that you, Nil? I got the impression that it was set in stone that he was going to lose his memories and that the demon was the way he lost his memories. I mean, when you're dead, you don't have any memories any more.

[slightfoxing]

Actually, important question which I forgot to ask, what genre would you put this story in?

[thejoefish]

Not really sure, it's not really your classic fantasy, but it can hardly be called standard fiction...

it's good though, i've not read anything quite like it.

[slightfoxing]

Hmm I know, it's a tricky one. I'm trying to work out what magazine to submit it too.