From the Internet
8) Jack Bauer found Waldo and killed him.
9) The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
14) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up their location.
15) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
16) Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20) If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.
21) Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
22) Jack Bauer doesn't eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
62) When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
75) Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer."
92) When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
97) The "Smoothie" was invented when Jack Bauer needed information from a banana.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT TONIGHT'S EPISODE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT AND WILL KILL YOU/!1
9) The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
14) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up their location.
15) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
16) Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20) If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.
21) Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
22) Jack Bauer doesn't eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
62) When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
75) Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer."
92) When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
97) The "Smoothie" was invented when Jack Bauer needed information from a banana.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT TONIGHT'S EPISODE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT AND WILL KILL YOU/!1