not sure this will go well
wow. i havent updated in forever. i dont really know waht to say/do right now. i think that slowly, very slowly, i am moving on. neil really really disappointed me. but....when i think about it (some of the time) i realize that he is the one who is losign out. i cant even count the number of people who have told me that he is literally passing ( Read more... )
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but i understand. ALOT. and i know it sucks. A TON.
i wish there was something magical i could say that will make you feel better. but i think we both know that doesn't exist. i wish i could say time heals all wounds, and maybe things start to get a tiny bit easier. but then life happens, memories happen, and you're back to shit again. life's a crapshoot sometimes. and you're not an idiot. maybe it's because we're at the year mark from when really good things started happening btw matt and i, but it's still hard. and anyone who feels the need to judge you has obviously never experienced what you are going through. sometimes i wonder if the whole bad note thing would have been better too. i think and hope that one day the truth will come out for both of us. and we'll be the ones sitting back and laughing about how we really did come out on top.
hang in there. i'm here if you need to talk.
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