Fed up...

[slinkypinky]

with my mother. She sucks up every bit of energy I have, and makes me feel drained after every conversation with her. Not to mention the fact that she tries to ruin anything that could possibly give me joy. And she's INSANE. Yea, that's my rant about my mom. She just really sucks.

Comments

[lumenspiritus]

If you are feeling drained, it means your own control drama's just aren't working *against* her...

It's that whole... "No one wins in an argument" thing. She probably feels equally drained.

Overcoming one's control drama's is extremely difficult! Takes a lot of personal power, and only you can claim that freedom from yourself.

Do you really believe she's trying to ruin 'things' because those things give you joy? You might ask her what her intent is. I'm always surprised at the reality of a situation when anyone asks me that. And when I ask it. But I gotta make it a point to focus on actually wanting to know, because that question is so easily turned into interrogation. And that just changes the problem...

I have been there, I know it's difficult to learn to deal with the parents as you become an adult. And it's difficult for them too. I empathize with your situation very much, and I promise you it will pass. Within five years you and your parents will have the opprotunity to be chums. If you want it :)

*support!*

[slinkypinky]

Yea, I'm pretty sure she is trying to ruin my life. Because EVERY time I have something I really wanna do, or someplace I really wanna go, she finds a way to manipulate and ruin it!! Every time. Seriously. Well yea we can be chums, but thats 5 years off!! And right now, 5 years is a long time. But yea, I guess you're right. My control drama's arn't working against hers, and I realized that last night. It's just gonna take a lot of work, and far more arguments for that to happen.

[lumenspiritus]

As usual with such things, it would be helpful if my skills at defusing and moving beyond control drama's could be 'taught'--Maybe some day...

If you've identified them, you've got half the battle finished--Now applying that knowledge... THAT is Wise.

And I am STILL working on those skills. I will for the rest of my life, everytime I encounter a control drama I focus on learning about how to defuse it and show a better way. And the only thing that's really helped me with that, is introspecting about the nature of my own control dramas and turning them into something positive or preventing their expression with love. It takes a lot of honesty and courage to self-analyze like that, but I know you can do it if you want to.

Remember that it's YOU that has the power to make your life better. You can do it, I believe you can :)