(Untitled)

Mar 25, 2006 20:56

Disclaimer: The Naruto series and characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. The song belongs to Keisha White "Weakness in me". So, don't sue me, I am broke as it is ( Read more... )

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Comments 4

filleyice March 26 2006, 03:13:17 UTC
Sorry. Don't know how to post these things, but I really would love for you to continue this. Alright. I don't want you to take this wrong....because I'm not trying to even suggest that you change your writing style....but my fingers won't let me not say it. The way you wrote that, to keep the reader in the dark for as long as possible, was slightly confusing. Like I said. Just wanted to let ya know, and its not like I didn't or couldn't get over it.
So, yeah. This is one of the weirdest replies I've ever written...and I blame it on being sick.
I truly did enjoy that and would like to see where you go from here. Thanks. :)

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slothful_mar19 March 27 2006, 17:39:04 UTC
Yo!

Thank you and Filleyice for posting a reply. I really wasn't expecting any. You guys are right, but I have a tendercy of writing whats on my mind without any particular style (*shakes her head*). I just type away, and it makes so much sense in my mind because that's where the plot-bunnies are and when I read through it, everything looks so peachy. By the way, this piece was not edited, it wasn't even read twice after the author (that's me) finished writing it.
But, thanks to your replies I will try my best to edit my work before I post it, its the least I could do. (Keep in mind, I am a very lazy individual; there is a reason behind my screen-name).

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amoralambiguity March 29 2006, 19:29:11 UTC
I really liked it. But i got confused on if Kakashi and Iruka are having an affair? Or is it that Iruka just loves him? Calling Kakashi a lover alludes to that Kakashi is Iruka's "mistress?" XD that they are having an affair. To me Iruka seems the type to have enough morals to end his current relationship before starting a new one, but that's just my take on him.

I say continue it!! I love it so far. I am sure anything after this will be less confusing, but you should have people beta for you. ^_^ ♥

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slothful_mar19 March 29 2006, 22:21:04 UTC
Thank you for reading. As for beta, I have absolutely NO IDEA how to go on about that. I thought people just wrote a piece and then posted it up. I really need all the advise I can get.
I will hopefully try to edit this, and if I still have inspiration I will continue the story. But that itself will take a while. I just found out my exams date, so I will not be doing any work on this.
By the way, Iruka is thinking about his 'new lover', whom I thought I conveyed real easily with the whole 'talk of the devil', guess I wasn't as clear as I thought. Anyway, to me, Iruka comes across a person that deny himself the pleasures of life, he is more engrossed with his work and students. So, he goes for safe relationships (I will tell the person Iruka is involved with later on), but his new lover shows him something thats more passionate and Iruka is drawn to that.
Anyway, I will try to be more clear next time!

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