Star Trek Fic - Penance Chapter Five
PENANCE Chapter Five
by SlwMtionDaylite
Written for reel_startrek, Round Two
Based upon the film Atonement, written by Christopher Hampton (based upon the novel by Ian McEwan) and directed by Joe Wright
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing. Paramount, et al. own all. I really wish they would let me borrow Spock for a while though. Atonement owned by Universal Pictures, Studio Canal, Relativity Media and Working Title Films.
Rating: Strong R/M
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure
Characters/Pairing: Kirk, Spock/Uhura
Word Count (Chapter Five): ~2563
Beta: jlneveloff
Warnings: Language. Sexual situations, violence
Summary: Alternate Universe. This is the story of a young cadet that sees something he thinks he understands. But he doesn’t.
CHAPTER FIVE - TWO SIDES OF ONE STORY UNCONNECTED
"Cadet." Pike spoke calmly. "You're familiar with Ambassador Sarek, aren't you?"
Kirk stood more erect. The inclusion of the Vulcan Ambassador was not something he had anticipated. Why was Pike involving him? Yes, Spock was Vulcan, but he was a Starfleet officer first. "Yes, sir. I know of the Ambassador." He looked at Sarek. "It's an honor to meet you, sir."
The Ambassador inclined his head. "I am sure."
Kirk's eyes darted from the Ambassador to Pike.
"Cadet Kirk, please tell the Ambassador what you told me." Pike crossed his arms, standing behind the stoic Vulcan.
Kirk's eyes widened. This was something he definitely didn't anticipate. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, echoing in his ears. His hands felt clammy as he grasped them behind his back. He cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.” He looked at the stoic Vulcan. “Ambassador, sir, earlier tonight, I saw Commander Spock -“ He halted. His eyes dropped to the ground and he took a deep breath. He returned his gaze to Sarek. “I saw Commander Spock attack Cadet Uhura. He was...it looked like he was raping her.”
The only outward reaction the Ambassador afforded was the raising of his brows. “Are you quite certain, Cadet Kirk? Are you fully aware of what you are accusing my son to have done?”
Kirk’s eyes widened and he stumbled over his words. “Your - your son? Spock is your son?”
“Commander Spock,” Pike interjected. “You should address him as Commander Spock.”
Kirk dropped his head, contrite. “Of course, sir.” His gaze met Sarek’s. “I had no idea he was your son, sir.”
Sarek dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “It is irrelevant. But what you are accusing Spock of is no small matter.”
Kirk shook his head emphatically. “No, of course not, sir. I am aware of how serious my accusation is. But I saw what I saw. It looked like Commander Spock was sexually assaulting Cadet Uhura.”
“It looked like or it was?” Ambassador Sarek asked.
Kirk tilted his head. “I’m sorry, sir?”
“I am merely attempting to clarify. One implies a matter of perspective and the other implies fact. Which is it? It looked like or it was?”
Kirk hesitated for a moment. “It was. I know it was.”
There was a moment of silence as the enormity of Kirk’s words weighed on everyone. Captain Pike proceeded to pace the room and Sarek stood still, the deep inhale the only sign that he was affected by Kirk’s words.
“This just doesn’t seem like Spock.” Pike stopped pacing, placing his hands on his hips.
“Indeed, I am inclined to agree. However, Christopher, my son is an unknown variable. We still do not fully understand how his human DNA has and will affect him. Though I will admit Spock has shown that he is quite capable of giving in to violent impulses. As much as it...grieves me, I do believe such an act is within Spock’s grasp.”
Kirk watched the exchange between the Ambassador and the Captain with curiosity. Human DNA? Spock was a hybrid? And how did having human DNA make him more likely to attack Uhura? That sounded like an excuse. An excuse given because a man - or Vulcan - cannot believe his son would do such a thing. Kirk could understand certain reluctance on the Ambassador’s part. No one wants to see his son become a monster. But, really, there came a time when one had to place blame firmly where it belonged - the perpetrator. That was the logical thing to do, wasn’t it?
“But how can we be certain, Sarek? Are you telling me I need to find a replacement for my First Officer?” Pike, it seemed, still had difficulty accepting Spock as a sexual predator.
Kirk glanced around the room. He felt like he didn’t belong here. He’d done his part. He spotted a PADD laying on the floor near the desk and made a small move towards it but was interrupted.
“Cadet, I want you tell us exactly what you saw. From the beginning.” Pike’s voice was firm.
Kirk cleared his throat. “Well, sir, it started earlier today.”
“Earlier today? You mean there’s more than one isolated incident?” Pike asked incredulously.
The cadet cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.”
Pike and Sarek looked at one another, then Pike cursed quietly again. He paced the office once more.
Sarek’s eyes followed him briefly before falling on Kirk. “Please, explain to me everything you saw.”
Kirk took a deep breath and told them. He told them of how he had stumbled across them in a clearing off the pathways on the Academy grounds. He told them of how he witnessed Spock force Uhura to do his bidding. How she was on her knees before him with his hands grasping her head. How she was servicing him. He told them of witnessing her run from the commander, tears streaming down her face.
He looked into the eyes of two men who had much at stake in this revelation. A captain whose First Officer was abusing his power and forcing cadets into unwanted situations. A father who stood on the precipice of political outcry for his villainous son’s inconceivable actions.
He also told them of the scene in this very office that he had interrupted. He told them of how Spock had Uhura pinned to the desk, moving wildly against her. He told them of her futile attempts at getting him off of her. He told them of how Spock continued to harass her afterwards, in the Kelvin Room, until she was finally able to escape his grasp.
Pike sighed heavily. With his arms crossed tightly against his chest, he looked wearily to the ground. “We need more. We can’t just take the word of a single cadet.”
“I agree.” Sarek was as stoic as ever. Kirk wondered if the Vulcan even cared that his son attacked a woman. He certainly didn’t seem too concerned.
Kirk took a breath and spoke again. “There was something else.”
The Captain and Ambassador looked at him expectantly.
“A letter.”
“What letter?” Pike asked.
“Commander Spock had written a letter to Cadet Uhura and requested that I give it her. She seemed quite upset when she read it. I can’t say I blame her.”
Finally Sarek gave a reaction. His eyes widened. “That letter?”
Kirk nodded. “Yes, sir. On the way to the Kelvin Room, Commander Spock stopped me.”
“Yes, I can recall the events.”
Kirk shuffled nervously on his feet. “I, uh, I know I shouldn’t I have read it, but I did.”
Pike sighed. “Do you know where it is?”
Kirk looked around the room briefly and picked up the PADD he’d eyed earlier. It was the same one he’d given Uhura. And the letter was still on the device. He handed it to Sarek, who took it.
The Ambassador turned the device on and the letter appeared on the screen. Pike stood behind him and both men read it. Sarek slowly dropped his hands, the device still held tightly, and Pike stepped away.
There was a deafening silence that was rudely broken when Pike lashed out, kicking the side of the desk in anger.
Kirk looked away. “I’m sorry, sir.”
*****
Spock stood outside the office door for several moments, unsure of what would occur once he entered. He was curious why Captain Pike requested that he come to this particular office, down the hall from the Kelvin Room, where the event of the evening was finally winding down. It was late. Pike’s office was not in this building. It was across the campus. Why here? He recalled with perfect clarity what he and Nyota had done in this very office merely hours ago and his heart raced in his side.
And he recalled what they had done after they had snuck out of the event. She had laughed wholeheartedly and said that it felt like they were teenagers in high school, sneaking around their parents and trying not to get caught. He had not argued. For it was similar in many ways.
Their mutual attraction. Their mutual confessions. His intense happiness and hers. It was a moment of perfection - even if such a word was illogical - that had only been marred by the appearance of that insufferable cadet.
It was true that he has never had the honor of teaching Cadet Kirk, but he was well aware of the man's reputation. It certainly preceded him. And Spock could not understand why Captain Pike went through such lengths to recruit him. The stories he had heard about the cadet were less than stellar. Brash. Arrogant. Cocky. Headstrong. Such attributes were not ideal, in Spock’s opinion, for a cadet set on the command track.
And there was, of course, Kirk’s attraction towards Nyota. It was such an obvious attraction that it did not even escape the eyes of a Vulcan. Spock just didn’t know of what to make of it.
Deciding that he had wasted enough time already and wishing to return to Nyota who still slept in his bed, he entered the office.
Captain Pike, Cadet Kirk and his father stood before him. He was surprised and it was a struggle to not let that surprise show. “Father?” What was he doing here? “Is something wrong?” He eyed the cadet. Why was he here?
Sarek stepped forward, bringing his hands before him, touching his fingertips together. A pensive move. A move Spock knew well from his childhood. A move his father would do whenever he was about to broach a topic with which he was uncomfortable.
“Son, we have much to discuss.”
Spock’s eyebrow rose.
Pike motioned to an empty chair. “Have a seat, Commander.”
Spock’s eyes moved from his father to his future captain and finally to Kirk. The cadet refused to make eye contact. The cadet’s nervous behavior aroused suspicion in Spock. “I believe I will remain standing, thank you.” He clasped his hands behind his back and he looked at Pike. “What is this about?”
Pike took a deep breath. “There have been allegations made towards you.”
“Allegations?” His eyes moved back to Kirk. He had an inkling of who had made them.
“It would be best for all of us if you answer truthfully.”
“Of course, Captain. Lying would be an illogical waste of everyone’s time.”
Pike smiled tightly. “How would you describe your relationship with Cadet Uhura?”
“Relationship? To which relationship are you referring?”
“Don’t be obtuse, Commander. You know damn well what I’m talking about."
Spock was hesitant. Already? This was something he should have anticipated the moment Kirk walked in on Nyota and him. And even she reprimanded him for his admittedly unprofessional behavior afterwards. He looked at Kirk again. "What has Cadet Kirk told you?"
Kirk stood erect when Spock said his name. No doubt he was curious what would be said in his name.
"The cadet has informed us that he witnessed you engaging Cadet Uhura in unsavory behavior." Sarek pinned his son with a stern look.
Spock nearly flinched. Of course his father would disapprove. "I understand your disapproval, Father, and to be frank, I have learned that I do not need your approval and to actively seek it would be a waste of my time."
Pike groaned. "Spock, do you know what you're saying?"
"Of course, I do, Captain. I said it."
“Damnit, Spock!” Pike spun away from him, unable to look at him anymore.
Spock raised an eyebrow at his captain’s behavior. He looked at Kirk. Why was that cadet still here? This was a matter that did not concern Kirk. “Captain Pike, if I may make a request?”
“What is it, Spock?” Pike’s voice carried a sort of dejection, resignation to it.
“I request that Cadet Kirk leave.” He was blunt, frank in his request. There was no reason to coat his request with niceties.
Kirk, for his part, suddenly stepped forward. It seemed he was about to speak when Pike beat him to it.
"Cadet Kirk, you're dismissed." Pike maintained eye contact with Spock, not sparing a glance in Kirk's direction.
"But, sir -"
Pike spared him a glance. "That's an order."
Kirk sighed angrily. "Yes, sir." He stormed towards the door. He glared at Spock, speaking to him under his breath. "I don't know how you can live with yourself."
"Cadet, that's enough!" Pike exclaimed.
Spock's eyebrow rose skyward.
Kirk glanced back at Pike. "Sorry, sir." He left.
Spock, satisfied that Kirk was no longer present, returned his attention to his father. “I apologize, Father. I realize that I have been a disappointment to you. I understand your anger, your frustration with my decision to decline the position at the Vulcan Science Academy. When I annulled the bond with T'Pring. When I, as you often said, gave into my human impulses far too often. I understand your disappointment that I was not...Vulcan enough for you."
"You are wrong, Spock. I have never been disappointed. Until now."
The slight widening of his eyes was the only visual sign Spock gave of his surprise. And, interestingly enough, his pain at his father's word. He had convinced himself that he didn't need his father's approval in his life. And it was true that his father had never actually verbalized his disappointment and therefore, it seemed Spock made a gross misinterpretation of his father's actions. However, he had not prepared himself for the sting that came when Sarek finally admitted disappointment. "I see."
Pike sighed. "Spock, you have broken many regulations regarding fraternization between superior officers and their students.”
So this was it. The happiness Spock had felt earlier this evening vanished in an instant. They had been caught. They had been reported. And, as the superior officer, he was set to pay the price. Spock wondered what this would mean for Nyota and him. Would they continue to explore their budding relationship or would she want to end it before it began? That possibility was less than appealing. “I understand, Captain Pike, and I take full responsibility for my actions. However, I will not apologize for them, either. I harbor no remorse for...giving in to my baser human tendencies.”
Pike’s eyes slid close. “Alright, Spock. You’ve really put me in a tough situation. A situation that really had never expected to find myself in with you. I will have to inform the board. They will have to make a decision regarding your future here at Starfleet. However, I can tell you now that I will be looking for a new first officer.”
Spock was momentarily stunned. He had not foreseen this. In the past, Pike had always teased Spock about not partaking in the inane human ritual of courtship, of seeking out female companionship. And now... “I understand that, sir. And for that, I do apologize. I will accept whatever punishment is rendered towards me with undue humility.”
“Have you considered the emotional pain and suffering this will bring to your mother?” Sarek spoke suddenly.
Spock tilted his head to the side. “I was under the impression that my actions, my decision were met with her approval.”
Sarek sighed. “That is where you are mistaken.”
Spock’s eyebrow rose. A vague understanding was kindling within his mind. There was more to this situation that he had first anticipated.
But what?
by SlwMtionDaylite
Written for reel_startrek, Round Two
Based upon the film Atonement, written by Christopher Hampton (based upon the novel by Ian McEwan) and directed by Joe Wright
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing. Paramount, et al. own all. I really wish they would let me borrow Spock for a while though. Atonement owned by Universal Pictures, Studio Canal, Relativity Media and Working Title Films.
Rating: Strong R/M
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure
Characters/Pairing: Kirk, Spock/Uhura
Word Count (Chapter Five): ~2563
Beta: jlneveloff
Warnings: Language. Sexual situations, violence
Summary: Alternate Universe. This is the story of a young cadet that sees something he thinks he understands. But he doesn’t.
CHAPTER FIVE - TWO SIDES OF ONE STORY UNCONNECTED
"Cadet." Pike spoke calmly. "You're familiar with Ambassador Sarek, aren't you?"
Kirk stood more erect. The inclusion of the Vulcan Ambassador was not something he had anticipated. Why was Pike involving him? Yes, Spock was Vulcan, but he was a Starfleet officer first. "Yes, sir. I know of the Ambassador." He looked at Sarek. "It's an honor to meet you, sir."
The Ambassador inclined his head. "I am sure."
Kirk's eyes darted from the Ambassador to Pike.
"Cadet Kirk, please tell the Ambassador what you told me." Pike crossed his arms, standing behind the stoic Vulcan.
Kirk's eyes widened. This was something he definitely didn't anticipate. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, echoing in his ears. His hands felt clammy as he grasped them behind his back. He cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.” He looked at the stoic Vulcan. “Ambassador, sir, earlier tonight, I saw Commander Spock -“ He halted. His eyes dropped to the ground and he took a deep breath. He returned his gaze to Sarek. “I saw Commander Spock attack Cadet Uhura. He was...it looked like he was raping her.”
The only outward reaction the Ambassador afforded was the raising of his brows. “Are you quite certain, Cadet Kirk? Are you fully aware of what you are accusing my son to have done?”
Kirk’s eyes widened and he stumbled over his words. “Your - your son? Spock is your son?”
“Commander Spock,” Pike interjected. “You should address him as Commander Spock.”
Kirk dropped his head, contrite. “Of course, sir.” His gaze met Sarek’s. “I had no idea he was your son, sir.”
Sarek dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “It is irrelevant. But what you are accusing Spock of is no small matter.”
Kirk shook his head emphatically. “No, of course not, sir. I am aware of how serious my accusation is. But I saw what I saw. It looked like Commander Spock was sexually assaulting Cadet Uhura.”
“It looked like or it was?” Ambassador Sarek asked.
Kirk tilted his head. “I’m sorry, sir?”
“I am merely attempting to clarify. One implies a matter of perspective and the other implies fact. Which is it? It looked like or it was?”
Kirk hesitated for a moment. “It was. I know it was.”
There was a moment of silence as the enormity of Kirk’s words weighed on everyone. Captain Pike proceeded to pace the room and Sarek stood still, the deep inhale the only sign that he was affected by Kirk’s words.
“This just doesn’t seem like Spock.” Pike stopped pacing, placing his hands on his hips.
“Indeed, I am inclined to agree. However, Christopher, my son is an unknown variable. We still do not fully understand how his human DNA has and will affect him. Though I will admit Spock has shown that he is quite capable of giving in to violent impulses. As much as it...grieves me, I do believe such an act is within Spock’s grasp.”
Kirk watched the exchange between the Ambassador and the Captain with curiosity. Human DNA? Spock was a hybrid? And how did having human DNA make him more likely to attack Uhura? That sounded like an excuse. An excuse given because a man - or Vulcan - cannot believe his son would do such a thing. Kirk could understand certain reluctance on the Ambassador’s part. No one wants to see his son become a monster. But, really, there came a time when one had to place blame firmly where it belonged - the perpetrator. That was the logical thing to do, wasn’t it?
“But how can we be certain, Sarek? Are you telling me I need to find a replacement for my First Officer?” Pike, it seemed, still had difficulty accepting Spock as a sexual predator.
Kirk glanced around the room. He felt like he didn’t belong here. He’d done his part. He spotted a PADD laying on the floor near the desk and made a small move towards it but was interrupted.
“Cadet, I want you tell us exactly what you saw. From the beginning.” Pike’s voice was firm.
Kirk cleared his throat. “Well, sir, it started earlier today.”
“Earlier today? You mean there’s more than one isolated incident?” Pike asked incredulously.
The cadet cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.”
Pike and Sarek looked at one another, then Pike cursed quietly again. He paced the office once more.
Sarek’s eyes followed him briefly before falling on Kirk. “Please, explain to me everything you saw.”
Kirk took a deep breath and told them. He told them of how he had stumbled across them in a clearing off the pathways on the Academy grounds. He told them of how he witnessed Spock force Uhura to do his bidding. How she was on her knees before him with his hands grasping her head. How she was servicing him. He told them of witnessing her run from the commander, tears streaming down her face.
He looked into the eyes of two men who had much at stake in this revelation. A captain whose First Officer was abusing his power and forcing cadets into unwanted situations. A father who stood on the precipice of political outcry for his villainous son’s inconceivable actions.
He also told them of the scene in this very office that he had interrupted. He told them of how Spock had Uhura pinned to the desk, moving wildly against her. He told them of her futile attempts at getting him off of her. He told them of how Spock continued to harass her afterwards, in the Kelvin Room, until she was finally able to escape his grasp.
Pike sighed heavily. With his arms crossed tightly against his chest, he looked wearily to the ground. “We need more. We can’t just take the word of a single cadet.”
“I agree.” Sarek was as stoic as ever. Kirk wondered if the Vulcan even cared that his son attacked a woman. He certainly didn’t seem too concerned.
Kirk took a breath and spoke again. “There was something else.”
The Captain and Ambassador looked at him expectantly.
“A letter.”
“What letter?” Pike asked.
“Commander Spock had written a letter to Cadet Uhura and requested that I give it her. She seemed quite upset when she read it. I can’t say I blame her.”
Finally Sarek gave a reaction. His eyes widened. “That letter?”
Kirk nodded. “Yes, sir. On the way to the Kelvin Room, Commander Spock stopped me.”
“Yes, I can recall the events.”
Kirk shuffled nervously on his feet. “I, uh, I know I shouldn’t I have read it, but I did.”
Pike sighed. “Do you know where it is?”
Kirk looked around the room briefly and picked up the PADD he’d eyed earlier. It was the same one he’d given Uhura. And the letter was still on the device. He handed it to Sarek, who took it.
The Ambassador turned the device on and the letter appeared on the screen. Pike stood behind him and both men read it. Sarek slowly dropped his hands, the device still held tightly, and Pike stepped away.
There was a deafening silence that was rudely broken when Pike lashed out, kicking the side of the desk in anger.
Kirk looked away. “I’m sorry, sir.”
*****
Spock stood outside the office door for several moments, unsure of what would occur once he entered. He was curious why Captain Pike requested that he come to this particular office, down the hall from the Kelvin Room, where the event of the evening was finally winding down. It was late. Pike’s office was not in this building. It was across the campus. Why here? He recalled with perfect clarity what he and Nyota had done in this very office merely hours ago and his heart raced in his side.
And he recalled what they had done after they had snuck out of the event. She had laughed wholeheartedly and said that it felt like they were teenagers in high school, sneaking around their parents and trying not to get caught. He had not argued. For it was similar in many ways.
Their mutual attraction. Their mutual confessions. His intense happiness and hers. It was a moment of perfection - even if such a word was illogical - that had only been marred by the appearance of that insufferable cadet.
It was true that he has never had the honor of teaching Cadet Kirk, but he was well aware of the man's reputation. It certainly preceded him. And Spock could not understand why Captain Pike went through such lengths to recruit him. The stories he had heard about the cadet were less than stellar. Brash. Arrogant. Cocky. Headstrong. Such attributes were not ideal, in Spock’s opinion, for a cadet set on the command track.
And there was, of course, Kirk’s attraction towards Nyota. It was such an obvious attraction that it did not even escape the eyes of a Vulcan. Spock just didn’t know of what to make of it.
Deciding that he had wasted enough time already and wishing to return to Nyota who still slept in his bed, he entered the office.
Captain Pike, Cadet Kirk and his father stood before him. He was surprised and it was a struggle to not let that surprise show. “Father?” What was he doing here? “Is something wrong?” He eyed the cadet. Why was he here?
Sarek stepped forward, bringing his hands before him, touching his fingertips together. A pensive move. A move Spock knew well from his childhood. A move his father would do whenever he was about to broach a topic with which he was uncomfortable.
“Son, we have much to discuss.”
Spock’s eyebrow rose.
Pike motioned to an empty chair. “Have a seat, Commander.”
Spock’s eyes moved from his father to his future captain and finally to Kirk. The cadet refused to make eye contact. The cadet’s nervous behavior aroused suspicion in Spock. “I believe I will remain standing, thank you.” He clasped his hands behind his back and he looked at Pike. “What is this about?”
Pike took a deep breath. “There have been allegations made towards you.”
“Allegations?” His eyes moved back to Kirk. He had an inkling of who had made them.
“It would be best for all of us if you answer truthfully.”
“Of course, Captain. Lying would be an illogical waste of everyone’s time.”
Pike smiled tightly. “How would you describe your relationship with Cadet Uhura?”
“Relationship? To which relationship are you referring?”
“Don’t be obtuse, Commander. You know damn well what I’m talking about."
Spock was hesitant. Already? This was something he should have anticipated the moment Kirk walked in on Nyota and him. And even she reprimanded him for his admittedly unprofessional behavior afterwards. He looked at Kirk again. "What has Cadet Kirk told you?"
Kirk stood erect when Spock said his name. No doubt he was curious what would be said in his name.
"The cadet has informed us that he witnessed you engaging Cadet Uhura in unsavory behavior." Sarek pinned his son with a stern look.
Spock nearly flinched. Of course his father would disapprove. "I understand your disapproval, Father, and to be frank, I have learned that I do not need your approval and to actively seek it would be a waste of my time."
Pike groaned. "Spock, do you know what you're saying?"
"Of course, I do, Captain. I said it."
“Damnit, Spock!” Pike spun away from him, unable to look at him anymore.
Spock raised an eyebrow at his captain’s behavior. He looked at Kirk. Why was that cadet still here? This was a matter that did not concern Kirk. “Captain Pike, if I may make a request?”
“What is it, Spock?” Pike’s voice carried a sort of dejection, resignation to it.
“I request that Cadet Kirk leave.” He was blunt, frank in his request. There was no reason to coat his request with niceties.
Kirk, for his part, suddenly stepped forward. It seemed he was about to speak when Pike beat him to it.
"Cadet Kirk, you're dismissed." Pike maintained eye contact with Spock, not sparing a glance in Kirk's direction.
"But, sir -"
Pike spared him a glance. "That's an order."
Kirk sighed angrily. "Yes, sir." He stormed towards the door. He glared at Spock, speaking to him under his breath. "I don't know how you can live with yourself."
"Cadet, that's enough!" Pike exclaimed.
Spock's eyebrow rose skyward.
Kirk glanced back at Pike. "Sorry, sir." He left.
Spock, satisfied that Kirk was no longer present, returned his attention to his father. “I apologize, Father. I realize that I have been a disappointment to you. I understand your anger, your frustration with my decision to decline the position at the Vulcan Science Academy. When I annulled the bond with T'Pring. When I, as you often said, gave into my human impulses far too often. I understand your disappointment that I was not...Vulcan enough for you."
"You are wrong, Spock. I have never been disappointed. Until now."
The slight widening of his eyes was the only visual sign Spock gave of his surprise. And, interestingly enough, his pain at his father's word. He had convinced himself that he didn't need his father's approval in his life. And it was true that his father had never actually verbalized his disappointment and therefore, it seemed Spock made a gross misinterpretation of his father's actions. However, he had not prepared himself for the sting that came when Sarek finally admitted disappointment. "I see."
Pike sighed. "Spock, you have broken many regulations regarding fraternization between superior officers and their students.”
So this was it. The happiness Spock had felt earlier this evening vanished in an instant. They had been caught. They had been reported. And, as the superior officer, he was set to pay the price. Spock wondered what this would mean for Nyota and him. Would they continue to explore their budding relationship or would she want to end it before it began? That possibility was less than appealing. “I understand, Captain Pike, and I take full responsibility for my actions. However, I will not apologize for them, either. I harbor no remorse for...giving in to my baser human tendencies.”
Pike’s eyes slid close. “Alright, Spock. You’ve really put me in a tough situation. A situation that really had never expected to find myself in with you. I will have to inform the board. They will have to make a decision regarding your future here at Starfleet. However, I can tell you now that I will be looking for a new first officer.”
Spock was momentarily stunned. He had not foreseen this. In the past, Pike had always teased Spock about not partaking in the inane human ritual of courtship, of seeking out female companionship. And now... “I understand that, sir. And for that, I do apologize. I will accept whatever punishment is rendered towards me with undue humility.”
“Have you considered the emotional pain and suffering this will bring to your mother?” Sarek spoke suddenly.
Spock tilted his head to the side. “I was under the impression that my actions, my decision were met with her approval.”
Sarek sighed. “That is where you are mistaken.”
Spock’s eyebrow rose. A vague understanding was kindling within his mind. There was more to this situation that he had first anticipated.
But what?