For anyone who's ever owned a ball python
"Please, eat."
"Not eating time."
"You haven't eaten for three months."
"Not time to eat. Time to mate."
"I'm not getting you a 'mate' until you're eating steadily. If I can't keep one snake healthy, I won't risk two."
"I eat, I get a mate?"
"Fine."
"But I won't eat that."
"It's a perfectly good rat."
"It's a dead rat. And I want a gerbil anyway."
"Look, just eat it, all right?"
"It smells wrong."
"Look, if I have to buy a damn gerbil every time I have to feed you, I won't be able to afford a mate for you."
"Oh, all right."
"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Want more."