Someone explain this to me...

[slytherin_heart]

Can someone please tell me what is wrong with a nine year old knowing that gay people exist? I mean, seriously. I wouldn't want to be in charge of getting into detailed explanations of gay sex (or straight sex, for that matter) to a little kid, but is it really necessary to talk in hushed tones and say that it's his "friend" (finger quotes included

Comments

[prongsy]

I would recommend watching something that has men/men (or girl/girl) kissing in it with your sister. Not something smutty, just some general movie/show that's completely innocuous and... oh, look at that, they kissed. That way, if your sister is confused by it, she'll bring it up herself. And if she's like, "*shrugs* ok", then that's that.

Get into Dr. Who. It's a kid focused show in the UK and new!Who has boy kissing (thank you, RTD). Or something else. That way, you're not actually going against your mom's wishes and explaining it to her, you just... um... "forgot" it was there, lol.

[slytherin_heart]

My mom was watching Torchwood at the time, and she was explaining to me that two of the characters are "friends" - which is when she expressly forbid me from mentioning such things to my sister. And my mom watches Dr. Who and stuff, with my sister around, so maybe she's not as oblivious as my mom would like. (Granted, with the aforementioned Torchwood thing, she was very careful to mention that "Jack is the only man Ianto likes. Otherwise he's totally straight!!!!!" Which I interpret as "It's okay, I can still watch the show, because he's not actually gay")

I dunno. I'm just irritated that my mom is acting like it's some big giant secret that sometimes, people are gay. Because, really? wth

[prongsy]

Ack! So it was TW/DW...

She was explaining this to YOU? O_O Your profile puts you at 19 (sorry, I checked to be sure before I commented)... that's... wow.

And um, it's only just come out that Ianto's only guy-love is Jack (in the various books it was pretty blatant that he was bisexual) and Jack most assuredly has been with other men. Jack is NO WHERE NEAR "totally straight", Ianto or otherwise, and he's the MAIN character.

Your mom sounds kind of homophobic (not extremely so, but if she sees such a need to rationalize things and hide things, there's a latent trace of something there).. I'd say call her on it, but that seems drama-tastic.

Just... gah.

Though, to be fair, my parents never told me about homosexuality (but, they never hid it either). I just sort of went with it, like it was always naturally in existence and I never even thought to question it. Hell, I've been into slash since I was 14 (so, a decade ago o_O).

[slytherin_heart]

I don't watch the show, and I asked her who Ianto was, and she said that it was Jack's "friend" because my 9 year old sister was in the room... I was just kinda like o.0

And then when I clarified "You mean his boyfriend?" she nodded and shushed me. In case my sister was listening. Because... that would be bad? IDGI And then she explained that they're only gay for each other, or something.

My mother claims that she's not homophobic, just as she claims that she's not racist, or prejudiced at all, or intolerant for any number of other things. Sadly, her words/actions do not always fall in the realm of non-prejudice.

[slytherin_heart]

♥ Thanks! I've decided to just try to be as open, honest, and approachable with her as I can, and hope that if any questions arise she'll come to me with them.

[angelofcaffeine]

:/ My five-year-old niece knows what "gay" means. To be precice, she knows that I'm gay and that means that instead of having a boyfriend (like Auntie Jazzy), I have a girlfriend.

She also understands that some girls have girlfriends instead of boyfriends and some boys have boyfriends instead of girlfriends.

And she's FIVE.

Then again this is the same five-year-old that explained to me in quite eloquent terms what the equator is and knows which one is the north/south pole by looking at the shape of the land/ice.

[wevvles]

I know how you feel :( People who grew up in the 50s-60s have very different values and beliefs, and very often, these values are impregnable, no matter what changes in the world.

But at the same time, I don't think directly explaining things to your sister may help. Sometimes, kids don't really need straight-out explanations, as in, sit down and talk explanations. They learn about sexuality the way they (hopefully) learn about most other things in life: through observations. Observing what is in the media, and how people react to certain subjects, like abortion, like homosexuality. If she sees you treating homosexuality like a healthy, normal thing, chances are that she'll do the same too.

Also, importantly, the way your parents brought you up can't be so different from your sister. If you managed to attain your views, the chances are, your sister will do the same. :)