So, I recently just re-watched some older episodes of Doctor Who, particularly "Aliens of London" and "World War Three," and they got me thinking. If this was real, and if when the doctor came to Earth looking for a new companion, and I had the opportunity to become one of them, of course I would take the chance...right?
I hate change. I absolutely hate when the system that has been going well for so long just suddenly decides that it's not going to do it anymore. I hate the thought of leaving the comfort zone I've developed in a place, even if I'm miserable. Leaving high school, I was terrified of going somewhere else, and I ended up going clear across the country. Now that I'm almost graduating college, I'm getting that same terrified feeling back in the pit of my stomach. I've only got 2 short months to find an internship, a place to live, and a general idea of my new "home," and I hate the possibility that I could end up with nothing, and I end up stuck in this godforsaken place for the rest of my life...or worse: back home with the parents.
But Rose was stuck at home with her mum. She wasn't doing anything but sitting around, working in a shop and eating chips all day. My life is a bit better than that right now, working in a museum and at a riding school while attending classes, but I'm definitely alone, except for my fish. Yes, I've got some friends, but so did Rose. She had Mickey and Charine (who we never actually get to meet), and then she had co-workers as well that she must've had some sort of interactions with. Then she's also got her boss, who must've just sat there and wondered where she'd run off to.
Martha was learning to be a medical student, and then she just ups and leaves her (very expensive) schooling and her family? Martha is very obviously the mediator between the family members, particularly her mother and father. Without her around, how does the family stay together? Martha also had collegues in the medical world that would notice her missing. What happens to these people that are left behind?
Donna was probably the least missed. She was a temp, moving around constantly at jobs, never really holding down anything for very long. The only connection she really felt with anyone was with her granddad, and he was more than proud and understanding for her to go with the Doctor. She was better with him, and he knew it.
Could my family handle me going off into time and space, travelling with a man old enough to be my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather? I doubt it. Could I leave my work, my pets, my friends behind without an explination? Could I really do that?
I mean, yes, technically we can return only a few minutes after we've been gone. That little fact changes everything. At the end of "World War Three," there was a moment with Rose and Jackie that probably spurred this on:
Jackie [to the Doctor]: You still can't promise me. What if she gets lost? What if something happens to you, Doctor, and she's left all alone standing on some moon a million light years away? How long do I wait then?
Rose: Mum? You're forgetting. It's a time machine. I can go travelling around suns and planets and all the way out to the edge of the universe, and by the time we get back, yeah, ten seconds will have past. Just ten seconds. So stop worrying. See you in ten seconds time, yeah? [The TARDIS leaves with Rose inside]
Jackie: [counts on her watch] Ten seconds.
How distraught would you be, if you were waiting for ten seconds, and nothing happened. After those ten seconds, you'd be constantly worried that something had happened, that she should've been back by now, that there is no hope of ever finding her again. It's agonizing just to think about it.
Thinking about internships and moving away has brought this into my mind over and over again. Would I really be able to just jump ship and sail around the universe through time and space? Could I deal with that experience? I've never considered myself a traveler. I like having my place, with my people and my schedule. I don't like when new things happen, or when change messes with the schedule. I like to have plans for the day, and even the week, so I know exactly what's coming up in my life. The idea of traveling has always terrified me to the fact that nothing is planned out. You're wandering along in some foreign land with nothing more than a backpack and a waterbottle for company. Nothing is planned, nothing is concrete, nothing is known. I hate that lack of control, and that seems to be all that the Doctor can offer.
Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of being able to see so much that no one else could ever have seen. The thrill of being able to experience the original preformances of Shakespeare, the adventure of visiting another planet that I've never even heard of, the adrenaline rush of battling Daleks, Slitheen, or Cybermen is just something that excites me more than I could say. How many people could say that they not only studied the American Civil War, but they experienced it?! History is made real, right before your eyes. Nothing; no teachers, no books, no movies, can recreate the actual witnessing of events as they happen. Then you return to your time, and you know so much. You can really know things you never knew before. It's amazing.
I don't know. If the Doctor came right now and told me he could take me away from here and let me experience something wonderful, I'd go. If he told me that I could become a better person with him, and that I could do something with my life. I feel like the reverse of Donna right now. I'm not waiting. I'm drifting, and I hate it. I just don't know what exactly to do about it to change my life. Can I change my life? I'm not brilliant, I'm not special, I'm not extradorinary. I'm just...here. I'm nothing special, and I'm not just saying that to gripe and whine. I do nothing special. I go to class, I go to work, and I go home. I've tried to go out and do things. Tried to date, tried to make friends, tried to party like a college student generally should, but it just doesn't do anything for me. I grow bored and can't wait to go home.
Re-watching "Partners in Crime" made really related to me with the part where Donna's mum is nagging her about getting a job and doing somethig with her life. I'm looking for an internship now, soon to be looking for a job, and this is exactly how I feel when I'm being badgered about it, and it's coming from everyone. Family, friends, co-workers. Everyone wants to know what I'm doing with my life, and I have no idea. I tend to just sit there in a drone and hope something works itself out.
So, right now, if the Doctor showed up and said "Come with me" with his hand outstretched and leaning out of the TARDIS, would I follow him? Would I give up the few things in life I tend to enjoy and leave it all behind to become something amazing, to become one of the most fascinating and important women in the whole wide universe?