(no subject)
*cracks knuckles* self-destruction is not the answer, but how do i let out the vengefulness and anger inside? i don't want to die, i just want to watch myself bleed. i've been sitting there in class and raking my pencil across my skin in the hope that i'll start to bleed. i don't want the pain. i just want to look at my hand or my wrist and see a bloody gash, but i don't want it to hurt. i'm too afraid of pain. i don't even know why i'm so mad. i've gone beyond the melancholy to the point where i want to destroy something. the thing that bothers me the most is there's no fucking reason for me to be so mad. i just feel this crazy rush of hate through my veins and i don't know how to let it out.