twenty-six
[private to Nemu / viewable to Byakuya / hackable, but why would you want to?]
As requested by Captain Kuchiki, here is my report of the people I've interacted with here in 'The City' since my arrival:
Miss A.B.A.;
Adachi Hana-san;
Ahiru-san;
Aizen Sousuke;
Miss Amelia;
Arisawa Tatsuki-san;
Mr. Autor;
Miss Esther Blanchett;
Byakuran-san;
Miss Cheza, a luna flower;
Mr. Joshua Christopher;
Miss Cirno, a fairy;
Miss Diva;
Mr. Harry Dresden;
Ms. Elendira;
Prince Femio, a Prince;
Miss Flonne;
Mr. Flycatcher;
Miss Nina Fortner, who has since departed;
Mr. Luke fon Fabre;
Duchess Mirka Fortuna, a vampire;
Fuuta-san;
Mr. Greed, a homunculus;
Pesche Guatiche-san, an Arrancar;
Hanashima Atora-san;
Ms. Anthy Himemiya;
Maria Kurenai Hiou Shizuka-san, a vampire;
Hiyuu Tatsuma-san;
Ichigo-san (not Kurosaki Ichigo-san);
Ichihara Yuuko-san;
Ichimaru Gin;
Inoue Orihime-san;
Izumi Konata-san;
Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, an Arrancar;
Kasanoda Ritsu-san;
Mr. Kirby;
Kotobuki Ran-san, who has since departed;
Kuromi-san;
Kurosaki Ichigo-san, a substitue shinigami;
Kurosaki Yuzu-san;
Kyouichi-san;
Miss Lady;
Ms. Leeloo;
Mr. Lestat;
Miss Lil;
Ms. Meryl;
Miwako-san;
Namikaze Minato-san, a shinobi;
Father Abel Nightroad;
Miss Nill;
Miss Noki;
Okuzaki Akira-san;
Rabi-san;
Raki-san;
Miss Raven;
Mr. Clow Reed, a magician;
Ms. Rem;
Dr. Lilith Sahl;
Sasagawa Kyoko-san;
Shira-san;
Shimizu Raimei-san;
Mr. Jack Simon, a Contractor;
Sumeragi Kururu-san, who has since departed;
Suou Tamaki-san, Host Club President;
Tamura Hiyori-san;
Takeuchi Rio-san, who has since departed;
Ms. Cirucci Thunderwitch, an Arrancar;
Tohno Shiki-san;
Tsubaki Sasuke-san, who has since departed;
Urahara Kisuke-san;
Mr. Vash;
Ms. Seras Victoria, City Warden and a vampire (?);
Watanuki Kimihiro-san;
Mr. Ron Weasley, a wizard;
Mr. Zell;
Fifteen ladies whose names I was not graced with, at least three of whom I believe to have since departed;
Twenty-nine gentlemen whose names I was not graced with, at least one of whom I believe to have since departed;
Several hundred hospital patients.
And the list of products I have acquired in the same period:
1 pillow;
5 packages of melon bread;
1 umbrella;
10 bars of stain-removing soap;
1 bottle of shampoo;
2 sponges;
1 box of medical gloves;
~20 canned beverages;
~15 bottled beverages;
~40 boxed meals;
2 kg strawberries;
3 cans of frosting;
1 package of paper plates;
~4 dozen eggs;
~8 liters of milk;
3 bags of flour;
3 bags of sugar;
2 blocks of tofu;
2 boxes of butter;
1 can of salt;
4 fresh persimmons;
~10 packets of instant miso;
4 pairs of bamboo chopsticks;
1 bag of rice;
15 pairs of underwear;
2 pairs of socks;
1 box of laundry detergent;
1 bottle of dish soap;
1 comb;
1 toothbrush;
2 bars of soap;
1 bottle of club soda;
1 bottle of enzyme cleaner;
2 bags of raisins;
~9 pre-packaged onigiri.
Due to my flawed memory and lack of diligence, both lists are likely to be incomplete. I have no excuse, but I'll be more attentive in the future.
[/private]
[private / unhackable]
Sumeragi Kururu-san, who has since departed. I wish I knew something better to say...
I think I understand why she didn't want to go the Hall of the Missing by herself back then.
It's good that she isn't trapped here anymore, but...
Ahh, this is stupid. These are just the same things everyone always says when someone leaves. It's not like I'm
I don't even know why I'm writing this. Everyone hates seeing things like this on the Network... (even if it's posted privately, the principle is the same.)
It's not like I'm planning to reread it later, either.
People say you'll feel better if you talk about your feelings, but I don't think it works for me. Maybe I don't do it right.
I haven't spoken to Rukia-san in a few days. I wouldn't know what to say, anyway. I mean, if it had been me talked about that way in someone's post, I'm sure I would rather nobody ever mentioned it again at all, even if they were only mentioning it to say 'I'm sorry that happened.' And of course there's still the thing with Shiba-fukutaichou and the other Shiba-fukutaichou...
I hate it when there's nothing I can do.
Even when there is something, it... somehow, it always feels like I'm it's not enough.
I don't know how to change that.
Even though it turns out none of that stuff the hacker wrote was true, are Ichigo-san and Rukia-san really not together?
I'd ask, but it's none of my business. If they wanted me to know, they'd tell me on their own.
I haven't been sleeping that well since sometime last week. Or rather, I just keep getting tangled up in the blanket somehow, and then of course I have weird dreams and don't feel rested in the morning.
And Ma-- Shizuka-san.
I know she must have had a good reason for deceiving me, so I don't really care about that. I just wish I knew what I said wrong to make her attitude change. She'd probably say there wasn't anything... because she's kind...
Maybe I took her too seriously when she was teasing... (or not seriously enough?) Of course, the fact that I don't know what it was makes it that much worse, since it shows how little I understand her feelings.
Then again, it's self-centered to assume it had anything to do with me. She probably just... Things probably changed on their own.
I wish people wouldn't always say 'it wasn't your fault' when things happen. As though just because of that, it's okay that it happened, and I don't need to care about it anymore. Or as though it doesn't matter that people were hurt, just because nobody intended it. (Or would have intended it, if they'd been their normal selves.)
I should be happy that they want to help me feel better, I know. And I am. It just... doesn't seem right. Even if things go back the next day, they still...
I don't know. I don't think about things the right way.
I can't change things by worrying about them, but I don't know how to stop worrying.
I feel kind of like I need... something. I don't feel lonely, so what is it?
How could there be anything I had only started to need now? It's not as though my life has become horrible. I haven't lost anything. If there's something I don't have now, I didn't have it before, either.
This is the part where I'm supposed to write 'I feel so much better now that I've gotten all that out,' I guess. Dwelling on it is what causes the problem in the first place... I'll feel better in the morning.
[/private]
Maybe I'll go to bed early tonight.
As requested by Captain Kuchiki, here is my report of the people I've interacted with here in 'The City' since my arrival:
Miss A.B.A.;
Adachi Hana-san;
Ahiru-san;
Aizen Sousuke;
Miss Amelia;
Arisawa Tatsuki-san;
Mr. Autor;
Miss Esther Blanchett;
Byakuran-san;
Miss Cheza, a luna flower;
Mr. Joshua Christopher;
Miss Cirno, a fairy;
Miss Diva;
Mr. Harry Dresden;
Ms. Elendira;
Prince Femio, a Prince;
Miss Flonne;
Mr. Flycatcher;
Miss Nina Fortner, who has since departed;
Mr. Luke fon Fabre;
Duchess Mirka Fortuna, a vampire;
Fuuta-san;
Mr. Greed, a homunculus;
Pesche Guatiche-san, an Arrancar;
Hanashima Atora-san;
Ms. Anthy Himemiya;
Maria Kurenai Hiou Shizuka-san, a vampire;
Hiyuu Tatsuma-san;
Ichigo-san (not Kurosaki Ichigo-san);
Ichihara Yuuko-san;
Ichimaru Gin;
Inoue Orihime-san;
Izumi Konata-san;
Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, an Arrancar;
Kasanoda Ritsu-san;
Mr. Kirby;
Kotobuki Ran-san, who has since departed;
Kuromi-san;
Kurosaki Ichigo-san, a substitue shinigami;
Kurosaki Yuzu-san;
Kyouichi-san;
Miss Lady;
Ms. Leeloo;
Mr. Lestat;
Miss Lil;
Ms. Meryl;
Miwako-san;
Namikaze Minato-san, a shinobi;
Father Abel Nightroad;
Miss Nill;
Miss Noki;
Okuzaki Akira-san;
Rabi-san;
Raki-san;
Miss Raven;
Mr. Clow Reed, a magician;
Ms. Rem;
Dr. Lilith Sahl;
Sasagawa Kyoko-san;
Shira-san;
Shimizu Raimei-san;
Mr. Jack Simon, a Contractor;
Sumeragi Kururu-san, who has since departed;
Suou Tamaki-san, Host Club President;
Tamura Hiyori-san;
Takeuchi Rio-san, who has since departed;
Ms. Cirucci Thunderwitch, an Arrancar;
Tohno Shiki-san;
Tsubaki Sasuke-san, who has since departed;
Urahara Kisuke-san;
Mr. Vash;
Ms. Seras Victoria, City Warden and a vampire (?);
Watanuki Kimihiro-san;
Mr. Ron Weasley, a wizard;
Mr. Zell;
Fifteen ladies whose names I was not graced with, at least three of whom I believe to have since departed;
Twenty-nine gentlemen whose names I was not graced with, at least one of whom I believe to have since departed;
Several hundred hospital patients.
And the list of products I have acquired in the same period:
1 pillow;
5 packages of melon bread;
1 umbrella;
10 bars of stain-removing soap;
1 bottle of shampoo;
2 sponges;
1 box of medical gloves;
~20 canned beverages;
~15 bottled beverages;
~40 boxed meals;
2 kg strawberries;
3 cans of frosting;
1 package of paper plates;
~4 dozen eggs;
~8 liters of milk;
3 bags of flour;
3 bags of sugar;
2 blocks of tofu;
2 boxes of butter;
1 can of salt;
4 fresh persimmons;
~10 packets of instant miso;
4 pairs of bamboo chopsticks;
1 bag of rice;
15 pairs of underwear;
2 pairs of socks;
1 box of laundry detergent;
1 bottle of dish soap;
1 comb;
1 toothbrush;
2 bars of soap;
1 bottle of club soda;
1 bottle of enzyme cleaner;
2 bags of raisins;
~9 pre-packaged onigiri.
Due to my flawed memory and lack of diligence, both lists are likely to be incomplete. I have no excuse, but I'll be more attentive in the future.
[/private]
[private / unhackable]
Sumeragi Kururu-san, who has since departed. I wish I knew something better to say...
I think I understand why she didn't want to go the Hall of the Missing by herself back then.
It's good that she isn't trapped here anymore, but...
Ahh, this is stupid. These are just the same things everyone always says when someone leaves. It's not like I'm
I don't even know why I'm writing this. Everyone hates seeing things like this on the Network... (even if it's posted privately, the principle is the same.)
It's not like I'm planning to reread it later, either.
People say you'll feel better if you talk about your feelings, but I don't think it works for me. Maybe I don't do it right.
I haven't spoken to Rukia-san in a few days. I wouldn't know what to say, anyway. I mean, if it had been me talked about that way in someone's post, I'm sure I would rather nobody ever mentioned it again at all, even if they were only mentioning it to say 'I'm sorry that happened.' And of course there's still the thing with Shiba-fukutaichou and the other Shiba-fukutaichou...
I hate it when there's nothing I can do.
Even when there is something, it... somehow, it always feels like I'm it's not enough.
I don't know how to change that.
Even though it turns out none of that stuff the hacker wrote was true, are Ichigo-san and Rukia-san really not together?
I'd ask, but it's none of my business. If they wanted me to know, they'd tell me on their own.
I haven't been sleeping that well since sometime last week. Or rather, I just keep getting tangled up in the blanket somehow, and then of course I have weird dreams and don't feel rested in the morning.
And Ma-- Shizuka-san.
I know she must have had a good reason for deceiving me, so I don't really care about that. I just wish I knew what I said wrong to make her attitude change. She'd probably say there wasn't anything... because she's kind...
Maybe I took her too seriously when she was teasing... (or not seriously enough?) Of course, the fact that I don't know what it was makes it that much worse, since it shows how little I understand her feelings.
Then again, it's self-centered to assume it had anything to do with me. She probably just... Things probably changed on their own.
I wish people wouldn't always say 'it wasn't your fault' when things happen. As though just because of that, it's okay that it happened, and I don't need to care about it anymore. Or as though it doesn't matter that people were hurt, just because nobody intended it. (Or would have intended it, if they'd been their normal selves.)
I should be happy that they want to help me feel better, I know. And I am. It just... doesn't seem right. Even if things go back the next day, they still...
I don't know. I don't think about things the right way.
I can't change things by worrying about them, but I don't know how to stop worrying.
I feel kind of like I need... something. I don't feel lonely, so what is it?
How could there be anything I had only started to need now? It's not as though my life has become horrible. I haven't lost anything. If there's something I don't have now, I didn't have it before, either.
This is the part where I'm supposed to write 'I feel so much better now that I've gotten all that out,' I guess. Dwelling on it is what causes the problem in the first place... I'll feel better in the morning.
[/private]
Maybe I'll go to bed early tonight.