(no subject)
"Oh my dear pagan Gods!" Pansy cried, hugging them all violently. They were out the back, thirty minutes after they'd played all the songs they had planned. "Ostentatious by Nature is my new fav band; you should see them out there! They're all going wild! Two Ravenclaws were fighting over one of Goyle's sweat bands!"
The band smiled, but were too tired to be excited.
And then came the moment they had all been dreading. A newly awakened Madam Rosmerta, marching towards them with a very determined frown on her face.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you all out right now!"
"Please, Madam Rosmerta, we only lied because we love this pub, and we love singing here." Harry pouted. "But if you don’t want us to perform here anymore, it's ok, when won’t sniff be that upset."
Rosmerta's frown slowly melted, and soon she was smiling brightly. "Oh, you rat bag, you remind me so much of your father! Fine, you can still play! But you need to ask permission from the headmaster, and no more underage drinking, please. I don’t hold for that kind of behaviour in this establishment!"
The band breathed out a sigh of relief. Rosmerta smiled proudly. "Butterbeers on the house!" she cried, leading them to a more private table.
0000
"Oh my god, that’s like the …" Blaise tried counting on his fingers, but failed miserably. Pansy had snuck in a bottle of vodka up her very tight dress, though it seemed Blaise was the only one drinking.
"Seventh." Draco offered easily.
"Yess, dear chap, seventh girl to ask me to sign her bosom!"
"I think that last one was a man." Pansy said lightly.
"SO?" Blaise cried. "I am a bi…bi...sensual and I’m not picky!"
"Hello, Ostentatious by Nature," said a slightly overweight middle-aged man in a set of dark blue robes. "My names Daniel Bobjea. I'm a talent search for the muggle and wizard label; would you mind if I had a quick word?"
"Go ahead, darling!" said Pansy smoothly. "I’m Pansy Parkinson, the Band's Manager. Please take a seat." The band shifted so Daniel could sit down.
"Well, I'll get straight to the point. I really like your style, and I think you'll go far in both the muggle and wizard music industry. My only problem is how old you all are, and that you still intend to continue high school. My boss, the owner of the label, will need to meet you and see you all perform before we make a decision, and Madam Rosmerta tells me that you're to perform here every two weeks, so I guess I shall see you all in a fortnight." He stood quickly and turned to leave. "Oh, and I want to hear some of your own music, if that’s ok. Ta ta for now." And he disappeared as quickly as he arrived.
"Oh my god, he was so gay." Blaise cooed.
"I can’t believe this is actually happening." Goyle said, taking a small sip of butterbeer.
"I know, it’s unreal." Blaise said, taking another shot of vodka. "Who wants to come dance with me?"
"Dance?" Pansy asked sceptically. "There isn’t any music!"
"We, my darling, shall make our own music!" Blaise declared, standing quickly and climbing over Draco to get out of the booth. He walked to the stage, and after a minute of muttering and accidentally burning things, he managed to get his bass to play on its own. A strong bass beat pounded out of it, filling the noisy room.
"Come on! Come on, Pansy! Come on, Goyle! Let’s dance!" he called.
Pansy jumped to her feet immediately. Being quite ostentatious in nature, she loved to dance. "Come on Goyle, up you come!" she cried, pulling him with her. Blaise and Pansy immediately started a two person show five feet away from the table, and after much persuading, they finally got Goyle to dance too. Soon, other small groups of students started to dance on Blaise’s make shift dance floor as well.
"I have to admit, you Slytherins are quite resourceful." joked Harry to Draco.
Draco smirked. "You should have seen the time they created wings out of an old witch weekly and a pair of socks. I believe that was the fifth time Blaise jumped off the astronomy tower, but of course he forgot about the…"
"Balcony." Harry finished with a smile.
"You know us too well," Draco said, pouring two shots, one for himself and one for Harry.
Draco threw back his head gracefully, wincing slightly as he returned the shot glass to the table.
"Well, it’s only fair. You do know a lot about me." Harry said, taking a shot, though not as graceful as Draco had.
"I know all the facts about Potter," said Draco, pouring more drinks. "But I know nothing about Harry. Like I know you've defeated Voldemort numerous times, but why does that matter if you yourself were drunk at the time and can't even remember them?"
Harry laughed. "Believe me," he said bitterly, "I wasn’t drunk. I wish I had been."
"So you wouldn’t remember." Draco whispered.
"Exactly." said Harry, laughing with no humour.
"We’ve both seen the war, you and I, Potter." Draco said, leaning back against the soft velvet covered seat. "Every day I wish I hadn’t, but I have it the same as you, I suppose."
Harry and Draco sat in silence, both drinking their way steadily thought Pansy’s vodka. The dim lights in the bar cast shadows over Draco, who had his head leaned back and his eyes lightly closed. Harry wondered if he knew how much he looked like a perfect black and white photo.
"Harry, can we have a word?" Hermione’s bothered voice broke the placid atmosphere.
Draco open one eye. "I’m sorry," he said sarcastically, "but you need to make an appointment to speak to Mister Potter. At this moment, he is in the middle of a private conversation, so if you don’t mind, piss off."
"Yes?" Harry asked, Ron and Hermione ignoring Draco’s rude behaviour. "Come to tell me I’m the spawn of the devil?"
"Harry, will you please just listen and stop interrupting? Is it too much to ask to want to know what’s going on in your life? We are your friends." Hermione complained.
"Oh sure, if the definition of a friend is someone who doesn’t care about what their friend is feeling and only talks to them when they want to know something...you're right, you guys are great friends!" Draco said sardonically.
"Shut up, Malfoy, or I'll knock your freaky arse over. Do you even realise that you're wearing a dress?"
Draco stood up so quickly Harry thought he looked like a flash of lightening.
"Go ahead, Weasel, I dare you!" he spat, even though he was a lot shorter than Ron. His eyes, grey, molten and smouldering, flashed dangerously. He even gave Harry the willies.
"Harry, please! You can’t tell me you like hanging out with these…these people! You should be training, or studying, or doing something productive. Do you really want to waste these last years at school lounging round drinking with these…"
"Just say it, Granger! Spawns of the devil. You find it so hard to think that he might like us, don’t you? You hate to think he tells other people his little secrets and not you!"
"Well, I think Harry finds some helpful uses for you." Ron said bitterly. "Sex, and I doubt even that was any good with a skank like Parkinson."
Draco clenched his fists angrily, shaking in anger.
"Will you both just shut up?" Harry growled furiously at Hermione and Ron "This is nothing to do with Pansy, so leave her out of it!"
"Harry, that girl has no morals! I bet she's a death eater too! I bet they all are, just trying to be your friends so they can hand you over to You-Know-Who!"
"Oh yes, that’s right," said Draco sarcastically, "The weasel and the beaver have solved it again!"
"Harry, we just don’t want you to make a mistake!"
"It’s human nature to make mistakes, Hermione!" Harry growled.
"Yes, but when you make mistakes, you kill people!"
Harry looked like he had been hit in the face with a hammer.
"I…I can’t believe you would say that." he choaked angrily. "Why, you..."
Draco put an arm on Harry’s shoulder. "Leave it." he whispered. "It won’t be worth it tomorrow."
Harry shook his head angrily, trying desperately to control the tingling he felt forming in the corner of his eyes.
"Harry, it won't do you or the war any good if you spend your time hanging out with a gang of fags and that slutty hoe Parkinson." Ron spat.
There was a loud smack, as Goyle's enormous fist connected with the side of Ron’s face.
"I am no fag, you bloody ginga!" he said, staring down at Ron who had collapsed onto the floor.
"I am a prefect!" Hermione said shrilly. "You can’t just hit people willy nilly!"
"Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you as well!" Goyle rumbled.
Hermione whitened, hurriedly collected Ron and helped him hobble away.
Harry let go the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
"They…they said they would always be there for me," he said in a quiet voice, dropping into a seat.
Draco sat down next to him and patted his knee. "Don’t worry, you didn’t need them anyway." he smiled briefly. "Where are Blaise and Panse?" Draco asked Goyle.
"Still dancing. I saw the little convention going on over here and decided to listen in."
"Good thing you did! I swear, that Weasley was about to try and kiddie fiddle with us." Draco joked lamely.
"Well, come on then, no point sitting around when there's dancing to be done!" said Goyle in fake happiness. "It will be like one big group orgy!"
Draco and Harry smiled, and went to join their friends.
0000
"I don’t want another pretty face, I don’t want just anyone to hold!" slurred Harry, tumbling over.
"Come on Potter, stop it with the Jesse sodding McCartney, he couldn’t sing his way out of a box! And be careful, or you'll stand on them!" Draco growled.
"Stand on what?" Harry asked drunkenly.
"All the rabbits, Potter! Can’t you see them?"
Harry had never found walking home from the pub in completely darkness so much fun before.
"Yes! I can’t see them everywhere!" Harry cried, even though he couldn’t.
"Look, there's Hazel Rah!" cried Draco, pointing at nothing.
"I see him! I see him…wait a minute! You've read Watership Down?" Harry asked Draco, stopping suddenly.
"Of course!" declared Draco. "It's like the best book ever!"
Harry laughed loudly at him.
"Well, obviously you've read it as well if you know who Hazel Rah is!" said Draco angrily.
That shut Harry up.
Draco laughed naughtily.
"Oh no!" he cried suddenly.
"What?" Harry asked.
"I lost Hazel Rah!"
"I think we have a bigger problem, silly!" Harry said wisely. "We've lost Goyley and Blaisey and Pansies as well!"
"Not true." Draco scoffed. "They were right up ahead."
"Can you see them?"
"…No…"
The two boys stood staring down the path to Hogwarts in utter shock.
"Oh no, what if they got eaten by man eating snails?" Draco cried.
"Or what if we were eaten by man eating snails and we're in their bellies right now?"
"And then what if a bigger snail ate the snail we're in, and then we're in a snail that was eaten by a snail that was eaten again by a hippopotamus?" declared Draco.
"Now you're just being ridiculous!" Harry slurred.
"So? We're still lost!" Draco said heatedly.
"You're right!" Harry cried in frustration "Mally, I don’t like being lost! Voldemort always stops by for a visit when I’m lost or confused or kind of angsty!"
"Mally?" Draco slurred rising an eyebrow.
"No, that’s your name, silly, my name is Potty!"
"Ok, Potty! Let’s go for a walk in the moonlight!"
"Yes, Mally, that would be dandy! But aren’t we lost?"
"No, we're walking in the moonlight." Draco linked his arms with Harry.
"Ok, if you say so, Mally, off we trot!"
And off Harry and Draco did trot, away from Hogwarts, walking carefree in the moonlight.
0000
Harry woke up with a splitting headache. He tried to bury himself deeper in his blankets. He inhaled the comforting smell of damp grass. Wait a second. His bed never smelt of damp grass. He sat up quickly; he noticed he clothes were damp all over and he was sitting in a clearing. He saw the lake glisten ten feet away in the late morning sun.
"How did I get here?" he wondered aloud.
"I don’t know, but let’s hope no one ever finds out." said a voice.
Harry looked down and saw a blond face resting on his lap.
"You make a good pillow, Potty." Draco joked in a tired voice. "Now go back to sleep!"
"Oh my God, we didn’t you know what!"
"What? Slay Voldemort?"
"Have sex, Malfoy!"
"Well, does your arse hurt?" Draco asked rudely.
"Nope."
"Mine neither, so I suppose that’s a no." Draco said, closing his eyes.
"Why are we all damp?" Harry asked nervously.
"Can’t you remember trying to go for a swim in the lake?" Draco asked, not bothering to open his eyes.
"We tried to swim in the lake."
"No, you tried. I tried to get you back out. But then, I suppose that's only fair, I did climb the tree, and you were the one who got me down."
"I can’t remember that either." Harry whined. "I hate getting drunk, I can never remember anything."
"Can you remember when you stripped naked and did a war dance for Zeus?" Draco asked, sitting up.
"That didn’t happen." said Harry.
"Ok, so maybe it didn’t, but I enjoyed thinking about it." said Draco, getting to his feet.
"Why were you using me for a human cushion?" Harry asked, shivering from his damp clothes.
"We drew blades of grass, shortest one got a pile of leaves." Draco pointed at the small pile of leaves Harry’s head had been on a minute ago. "And the other got a human pillow."
"You cheated, didn’t you?" yawned Harry.
"Of course, but you were too drunk to prove otherwise. I was nice, I helped you collect leaves."
Harry rubbed his sore neck, and looking around at the lake, he could just see a small tower of Hogwarts right around the other side. They had walked halfway around in the lake in the forbidden forest in their drunken state.
"We'd better get back, the others will be worried." Harry grumped. "And I'm kind of hungry. It'll take us a couple of hours to walk back, I reckon."
Draco yawned. "The others won’t be worried, they'll all presume we were off somewhere shagging like bunnies."
"Like Hazel Rah?" Harry asked, laughing.
Draco scowled. "You will never repeat that to anyone, Potter!" he ordered.
Harry laughed again and set off down the nearest path pointing to Hogwarts. He looked over his shoulder and smiled widely, "Give you a race to the nearest tree!" he called.
Draco smirked and took off at a run.
0000
"I don’t think this is very safe." said Harry anxiously. "Remember what happened last time we were wandering around the forbidden forest?"
"Yeah, well, we were both extremely drunk so I don’t think..."
"No, I mean when we were in first year, you dolt!" Harry spat quietly. "We saw Voldemort!"
"That wasn’t Voldemort." scoffed Draco "Voldemort has minions and snakes, and a crown and a gold rod that he likes to hit people with."
Harry raised an eyebrow.
"So what if I like to exaggerate the truth?" Draco muttered "But it still wasn’t the lord and master Voldemort!"
"Will you be quiet?" hissed Harry. "I think I hear something coming!"
"What are you on about, Potter? I’m too young to die!"
"No, I can definitely hear something coming! Be quiet, would you?"
"Potterrr! Save me! Save me! I don’t want to die!" whined Draco.
"Shut up! Better get our wands out, don’t you reckon?"
Draco whined again. "I didn’t bring my wand!"
"What?" Harry asked shocked. "We're in the middle of a frigging war, and you wander around a dangerous forest where peril lies everywhere and you didn't bring your wand?"
"It didn’t got with the dress." sighed Draco.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Draco clung to Harry desperately. "Please, Potter! These leather pants can’t be dry-cleaned if I get them covered in blood!"
"Calm down, would you? We don’t even know what it is! It might only be Hagrid's half bother, Grawp!"
"Half as in human, or half as in giant?" Draco asked quietly, his arms still wrapped around Harry’s waist.
"Um, giant."
"Potter!" cried Draco, jumping up and hugging Harry with all his might. Harry got thrown off balance and fell to the forest floor, Draco tumbling down with him.
When Hagrid ran into the small clearing, he got quiet a shock. Harry, who he'd secretly always looked upon like the son he never had, was being straddled by a thin blonde in leather pants. Both locked eyes with him and reddened at once.
"Ahh, Hagrid, this isn’t what it looks like!" said Harry, trying to throw the blonde off. Hagrid recognised him as the spiteful Draco Malfoy in his Care of Magical Creatures' class. Once up, Draco still clung to Harry as if Hagrid might go crazy and attack him.
"You can let go." whispered Harry.
"I don’t think I will. If he tries to hit me, this way there’s a fifty percent chance he'll get you as well." Draco whispered back, not taking his eyes off Hagrid.
"Yeh'd best get back ter school." said Hagrid, who had also gone very red. "A ruckus has broken out amongst the houses over yeh two."
"What do you mean? What happened?" asked Harry walking slowly (because Draco was still attached to him) over to Hagrid.
"Well, yeh didn’t come back to Gryffindor last night, so Hermione an' Ron sent an alarm to the Order and Dumbledore. They were hell set that yeh were in Slytherin, so we searched Slytherin, but we didn’t find yeh, an' young Malfoy was missin' too. His friends weren’t at all worried 'bout either of yeh. The dark haired one, Zabini, told the headmaster, quite rudely, that he should, ahh, ‘Piss off an' let them shag if they wanna!’. Though we were certain that yeh wouldn’t be doing that, ahh we might have been a bit wrong there."
"We weren’t shagging." Harry said crossly.
"Ah, but we might have, Harry. I thought you were to drunk to remember?" Draco smirked.
Hagrid's eyes went as wide as saucers.
"So, what’s happening at the school?" Harry asked, changing subjects.
"Whole of Gryffindor an' the whole of Slytherins are goin' at it like cats an' dogs, mass brawls breakin' out everywhere, most of them with the older years. People in Gryffindor gettin' angry at the Zabini boy for pinning yeh as gay an' with a Malfoy, the Slytherins gettin' angry at the Gryffindors fer thinking yer too good fer one of their own. The other houses joining in as well. Gryffindors been preachin' it’s an attack from You-Know-Who, an' that Malfoy's a death eater spy. Ron an' Hermione've been pretty active supportin' all the theories. Slytherins getting pretty scuffled."
"No one in Slytherin has been hurt, have they?" asked Harry quickly.
"Yer not worried 'bout the Gryffindors?" Hagrid asked meekly.
"Yes, well, them too. It's just Slytherin is closer to the truth than Gryffindor is, and Ron and Hermione are just making up lies! Is anyone hurt?"
"Well, yeh, it’s been a bit of a riot."
"Who?" asked Draco desperately.
"A few bones broken, but Pomfey fixed them in jiffy. Ahh, couple o' seventh year Gryffindors got on the bad end of a heavy dosage o' stunning potion. Few Ravenclaws being treated after a group of Slytherins bombarded 'em with spells. There's a Hufflepuff covered in blisters from head to toe. Two Slytherins are in, two of the main fighters."
Harry and Draco breathed deep.
"Who?" Draco asked shakily.
"The Zabini boy, who started all this madness an' his big friend. A group of sixth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff boys were tryin' to capture a Slytherin girl an' question her, and the boys stepped in. Quite an amazin' fight, ten against two. Brought down four o' them each, as well."
"We need to get back." Draco whined. "It's Blaise and Goyle!"
Harry went very white. "You're right, we need to get back! This is all my fault!"
Hagrid watched in shock as Draco pulled Harry into a quick hug.
"Shh, Potter. The one's who are at fault in this are those bloody Gryffindors, and we'll teach them a lesson."
Harry smiled wearily.
"Harry, could yeh blow up some red sparks quickly, let Dumbledore know I found yeh."
Harry sent red sparks up, and they headed off for the school.
000
Dumbledore was waiting on the steps of Hogwarts, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, who was dressed in red and gold, to his left, and on his right side stood a very subdued Pansy Parkinson, who had spent the last couple of hours in the hospital wing with her very sick friends.
When Dumbledore had seen the red sparks sent up, he felt instantly relieved. Hopefully some peace, that for the last twenty hours Hogwarts had been vacant of, would finally fall over his school.
The half the school was mingling around outside to see the return of the two boys. A nervous pause in the fighting. Many believed that Harry had once again fought with the dark lord, while others didn’t know what the heck had been happening.
When Hagrid finally walked out of the forest followed by the two boys, silence fell over the crowd, all houses alike. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were walking with their arms linked together. They were very ruffled, as if they'd spent the past day (it was late afternoon) trekking through the bush, or shagging non stop through the morning. As they approached, the look of horror was apparent on both their faces. Dumbledore noticed the very stony girl standing on his right breaking out in tears, for the first time since all these fights had started, when she first saw them. He wondered if it was in relief or anger or something else entirely. He'd been wondering vaguely what happened out in the forbidden forest.
His answers were soon closer to being answered when Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy got even nearer, the crowd parting as the two boys, still linked by their arms, approached Dumbledore. He wondered why both Hermione and Ron looked so worried, and why Harry hadn’t looked at them once.
Miss Parkinson suddenly lost all control and threw herself off the steps and towards the boys. The two dropped arms and both stimultaneously got pulled into a violent hug. Dumbledore watched, slightly taken aback, as both boys and the girl hugged for a long time, the boys whispering into her ear, trying to make her calm down. The crowd was still silent. When the trio had finished hugging, they all walked in arms up to Dumbledore.
"Sorry, Professor." Harry said with a slight smile. "Draco and I got lost in the forest."
Dumbledore stared down at the boy, who he didn’t believe could surprise him anymore, and then his eyes glistened. Dumbledore turned to the school and called, "No need to worry, students. Harry and his friend Draco were lost in the forest. Now, I believe that all our petty arguments have been solved, so you may return to the great hall for dinner!"
"Sir, we're going to visit Gregory and Blaise." Harry said quietly to the headmaster. He still hadn’t looked at Ron or Hermione.
"Of course." said Dumbledore gently.
The three turned and started to make their way to the hospital wing, Pansy still clinging to both of them.
"Wait, Harry!" called Ronald Weasley desperately.
Clouds blocked out the sun, and suddenly the whole sky darkened. Thunder roared in the air. The headmaster realised that the Boy Who Lived was very, very angry.
"It was you, wasn’t it?" barked Harry, turning around. "The sixth years who attacked Pansy, who hurt Blaise and Goyle? You knew they were my friends! You've spoken to them, I invited them into our common room, you've talked about quidditch to them, yet you attacked them as if you're some kind of death eater!"
"I am not the death eater here, Harry!" shouted Ron. "They are, and this is what the light side wants, that death eaters are punished! We thought you would understand that more than anyone!"
"YOU ARE WRONG!" Harry shouted. "You know nothing of what's good! You know nothing of what the light side wants!"
Harry turned, and taking Pansy and Draco by the arm, he led them up the stairs to go and visit the hospital wing, leaving Ron standing like a fool, staring angrily at his retreating back.
Dumbledore realised then that the Gods had chosen the best person to save the world. Though he wasn’t stereotypically wonderful, and he didn’t wear a golden cape, he was the only person who could save them. Someone so perfectly noble, someone who was open and trustful, who spoke out for the ones who couldn’t always, and who listened to Nirvana and wore leather pants.
The hospital's white walls shone in an eerily blue light; night was falling on the sleepy school and once again the halls were deadly quiet. A boy, no older than 16, sat in a rickety wooden chair beside two hospital beds. His unruly black head rested in his hands. He stared somberly at the two sleeping figures. The hospital healer wobbled in and out of the many occupied beds muttering spells and pouring potions. She paid Harry no attention, visiting hours were over. But he would not leave; he had sent Draco down to Slytherin to put Pansy in bed. Draco promised as soon as the exhausted girl was asleep that he would be right back up.
Blaise, the nurse had said, had received three stunning spells to the chest and a Conjunctivitis spell. His dark brown eyes were covered in thick white bandages. Goyle had been on the receiving end of a Furnunculus curse, a Rictusempra charm as well as a Tarantallegra Spell. Harry hated to imagine breaking out in boils while dancing and being tickled uncontrollable. He shuddered in disgust to think he had been the on to teach the Gryffindors last year to stun.
“They're still asleep?” asked a very weary looking Draco Malfoy as he plopped himself into a seat next to Harry. Sighing, Harry nodded his head.
“Madam Pomfrey says they will be fine after a good sleep. Blaise has lost his sight but it should be back in a couple of days.” Harry rubbed his eyes, his scar was tingling uncomfortably.
“Must have been a long night for them,” Draco sighed, staring in horror at the many bandages wrapped around their friends.
“I… I just can’t believe Ron would do such a thing”
“Well, he was angry and jealous. I hadn’t given him much incentive to be nice to Slytherins before.”
“Don’t do that Malfoy, don’t give him excuses!” Harry said heatedly jumping up and pacing down the small isle between Goyle and Blaise’s beds.
“He only attacked us because he was worried over you, Potter. Maybe you should be glad you have such loyal Gryffindor friends,” Draco mumbled.
“You're right,” said Harry drearily, his back to the two beds and Draco as he paused in his pacing. “I can’t blame Ron, it is my fault. It’s my fault so many people got hurt.” He hugged himself self consciously with his arms. Without looking back at the astonished Draco Malfoy, he started for the door.
“Don’t you dare, Potter!” hissed Draco, jumping up and following Harry around the curtains. “Don’t you dare blame all this shit on your self! You are not a god! I was out there with you and we did nothing wrong! We’re your friends, Potter, so get it into your thick, scar covered head that we want to be your friends! You can't just up and leave!”
“You don’t understand!” Harry whispered, his dark green eyes melting insecurely. “I only get people hurt.”
Draco smacked Harry hard around the face. “Stop it you grotty piece of shit! You're not meant to be this sodding unstable. Who the fuck does Dumbledore think he is letting you walk around like this? Potter, get it into your thick head that shit happens.”
Harry just peered angrily at his feet, one of his hands resting against his red cheek. Suddenly, before he realised it was happening, Draco Malfoy had swooped him into a sharp bear hug.
And like a fresh grey wind he had blown back to his seat next to Goyle's bedside, picking up a stray teen witchly magazine with his long pale fingers.
“Can you believe they have a two page spread on making your own face cream with sage and slug juice? Honestly, are they trying to force teenage girls into an acne breakout?” he snorted.
Harry took a seat next to Malfoy and smiled bleakly.
0000
“Mister Potter, Mister Malfoy, I really must insist that you head back to your own dormitories,” said the school nurse as she smoothed the sleeping Blaise’s blankets. “It’s been 24 hours, and they're not likely to awaken for another 24. You would be a lot better getting a good nice sleep yourselves."
Draco blatantly ignored her like the other six times she nagged them to return to their common rooms.
“I’m really sorry Madam Pomfrey, but it really doesn’t feel right leaving them by themselves,” Harry sighed.
“But visiting hours are well over,” she replied crossly.
“Yes, but it would be terrible leaving them when I feel they really need our support!” Harry cried.
“Mister Potter, they are in mild comas, they don’t know you are there anyway!”
Draco snorted.
“You are not making this any easier,” Harry muttered to Draco.
“Boys, you don’t want me to inform the Headmaster do you?”
Draco continued to pretend no one was talking as he flipped through another witch magazine. “Ohh. Look Potter, this one has an article about you and a little test to work out how compatible you are to the reader.”
“Please boys, it is very important that you leave right now! You are disturbing my hospital!”
“But I thought every one in your hospital was in a coma? How can we be disrupting them?”
“Potter, when is your birthday?” Malfoy asked randomly.
“Huh?”
“Its a part of the quiz. I’m seeing how compatible I am with Harry Potter. Question number 7: When is Harry Potter's birthday?”
“You are joking, right?”
“Fine, I’ll skip that one. Question number 2: Does Harry wear boxers or briefs?”
“Malfoy, please. I’m kind of busy here.”
“Don’t worry, I know the answer to that one. Boxers, though I have suggested going commando while wearing leather pants.”
Madam Pomfrey crossed her arms and glared wearily at Harry. “Leather, Mister Potter?”
“Please, we are not going to leather… I mean, leave.” Harry winced.
Madam Pomfrey shuffled some paper on her clipboard. “If you're not going to leave, can you at least answer some questions about the boys?”
“Sure,” Harry said with a sigh.
“Do you know any safe family I can contact for either of them?”
Harry peered expectantly at Draco, having no idea if it was wise contacting either boy’s parents.
“Blaise and Goyle's parents are currently unavailable,” Draco drawled in a bored tone.
“Are you sure there aren’t any distant relations that would be safe to contact?”
Draco peered over the magazine. “Actually, now that you mention it, there is some one.” Draco smiled lustfully. “Blaise's Italian cousin Marius!”
“Marius who?” asked the nurse, writing it down on her clipboard.
“Marius Varen goddamn sexy Zabini!” Draco Malfoy cried, fanning himself with the book. “The hottest sex that sprouted legs, I swear!” He crooned, almost falling off his chair.
“Mister Malfoy! That will do!” cried Madam Pomfrey. “I swear! In all my years! Never have I heard such profanity!”
“Shit. Tits. Bollocks. Poo. Fuck. Fanny. Tart face. Arse!” Draco said returning to his magazine test. “Potter, what did you say your favourite colour was?”
“I shall owl Mister Marius Zabini straight away. Now you boys sit quietly while I check on the other students. And Mister Malfoy, may I please ask you to keep your foul mouth to your self!” She briskly trotted off to her office.
“She loves me,” smiled Draco watching the nurse wander off.
“I think you will find she finds you highly offensive.”
“Pff!” Draco said flicking his hand. “Everyone does at the start.”
Harry smiled agreeably. “So what’s our compatibility, then?”
“I’m on the last question. What would be Harry Potter ideal Christmas present?”
Harry snorted.
“A: A dozen red roses,” Draco continued.
“I thought you were joking!” Harry cried.
“B: A box of Honeydukes chocolate.”
“I swear I should be allowed to sue them! This is appalling!”
“Or C:-- fuck, now this one my favourites-- A romantic picnic dinner, complete with candles and wine.” Draco screwed his eyes up in mirth. “I sooo choose C!”
“This isn’t funny, Malfoy.”
“Would you look at that? We’re 76 compatible!” Draco said in laughter and shock.
“What! 76!” Harry exclaimed, surprised.
“Yep, and it has a little text box. Oh my god you wont believe this. ‘You and Harry have spent ages trying to work out your strong but very confused feelings for each other. You and Harry both have the passion and love to make your relationship overcome even the most unlikely circumstances! Trust, love, devotion, desire, and respect are the most important words in your relationship. Remember to tell Harry how much you love him and on a daily basis. Sometimes both of you might feel overwhelmed by your romantic desires and forget the simple things, like telling Harry how much you love him!”
Harry Potter stared in a horrified awe as Draco Malfoy slipped off his chair from laughing so hard.
“That’s too bloody crazy. Some people need to get lives!”
“Calm down Potter, it’s just a bit of fun. I don’t think you can take it seriously!”
“I think you should, it sounds exactly like you little fuckers,” said a gruff voice.
“Goyle!” Draco squealed from the floor. “We've all been so bloody worried; Pansy’s has fallen into some crazy coma state.”
“She did have a long night,” Goyle said, sleepily opening an eye. “What’s the time?”
“4:30 on Sunday afternoon,” Harry said quietly. “Would you like us to get Pomfrey?”
“Nah, she’ll make me drink more of that horrid potion, I’ll just drop off to sleep. Blaise and Pansy are okay, aren’t they?”
“Blaise will be better any day now,” Harry said in a fake happiness.
“What about you two little slags, off shagging all night? Had us dead worried,” Goyle said sleepily, closing his jade eyes. And before Harry or Draco could reply, he was fast asleep.
“He thinks we were off shagging,” Harry said quietly.
“They all think something like that. ‘My friend Draco and I got lost in the forest.’ Honestly, who would believe that?” Draco said, sardonically.
“I thought it summed things up nicely.”
“Potter, really. If I was to say to you,” suddenly Draco’s voice had a hint of seduction in it,"‘My friend and I got lost in the forest,’ what would you seriously think?”
“You're right, they all think we’re fuck buddies,” Harry mumbled.
Draco laughed a quick laugh before his eyes went back on his magazine.
“But what will we tell them when they ask?” Harry asked nervously.
“We tell them, Potter, whatever they want to hear. I think there has been a bit to many fights these past weeks without us making more,” Draco said in a bored tone. “Ohh! Look, witch teen doctor. I love this shit, ha! Listen to this: “I was wondering, witchly doctor, if it is possible to spread worms during sexual activities. I really want to have sex with my boyfriend but I am afraid he might catch my worms!”
“Malfoy! I know you must be making all this stuff up!” Harry said, trying to grab the magazine off Draco.
“Nah, look here,” said Draco showing the magazine.
Harry looked at the article Draco was pointing to. He scanned it quickly and paled.
“They have got to be bloody joking. Look, they even signed it, ‘Wormsey’. That’s absolutely disgusting!”
0000
When Draco heard that Marius was going to arrive at Hogwarts to visit his ill cousin Blaise, he was sent into a panic. It was Monday morning and he and Harry had been sitting in the hospital wing since Saturday night, without a shower, and only a few meals that Pansy fetched for them when she wasn’t sitting with them or sleeping.
Draco, who'd had a crush on Marius since he had first met him, when he was 11, was instantly thrown into a nervous rant about the right type of clothes he should go change into.
“Blue cashmere top with the black slacks, or should I got green top black slacks, or throw it and wear a pink top to show I’m open to anything? Pansy, help!”
Though it seemed to Harry that Pansy was a bit busy her self, sitting on the side of Goyle's bed in an almost comatose state.
“And Marius had these big, soft golden hands, and his hair is perfect, perfect prefect!” she was mumbling to her self.
“Potter!” cried Draco, becoming quite hysterical. “He is going to be here in an hour!”
“So, we wait an hour,” said Harry tiredly. He really wasn’t in the mood for uproarious Slytherins.
“We have to get changed!” whined Draco. “By the Gods almighty, I haven’t showered in days!”
“You can hardly tell,” snickered Pansy.
“Oh, shut up you wench! You just want to steal Marius away from me!”
“Okay,” said Harry, stepping in. “Why don’t you head down to the Slytherin and have a shower, Malfoy?”
“I don’t know what to wear! I am completely indecisive!”
“Fine, I'll come with you!” Harry said angrily. “I might as well shower down there too.”
“Fine, Fine! As long as we back here to greet him!” Draco said, panic stricken.
0000
“What about the blue, Potter?”
“Well, blue often associated with intelligence, isn’t it? Like Ravenclaw? It might come off showing you’re a bit cold, though.”
“You're right, Potter, you are absolutely right!” said Draco, throwing down the blue top and grabbing a yellow one.
After Harry and Draco were both watered;, Harry grabbed some clean clothes off Draco, but not before Draco made sure they weren't the ones that he wanted to wear. After he decided he didn’t want to wear them, Harry put them on. Harry was now waiting patiently for Draco to decide.
“Yellow, Potter?”
“That top is way too Hufflepuff,” Harry said, poking out his tongue.
“What about my nice white turtle neck?”
“Do you really want to portray innocence and virginity, Malfoy?” asked Harry, raising an eyebrow.
“Your right! Completely right!” said Malfoy as he scurried in his boxers through piles of clothes. “How do you know so much about clothes anyway, Potter?”
“It’s kind of obvious... white: virgin. Red: love, green: evil,” said Harry.
“I suppose. I always knew we would make you a good gay man!”
“Well, I’m not really gay.”
Draco stopped searching for clothes to let out a howl of laughter. “What about this one, then?” He asked holding up a bright orange top.
“Wow, it's like a Gryffindor monster came and digested your top! That’s horrible; get it out of my sight!”
Draco laughed. “Exactly,” he smiled. “My point is proven: you’re as gay as a naked gay bar!”
“I think you should go with the red,” said Harry, ignoring Malfoy.
“I don’t know!” said Malfoy, frustrated.
“Well, I hate to inform you,but he's due to arrive in 3 minutes. You're going to miss him anyway!”
“Fine, then you go up and I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”
Harry glanced wearily at Draco. “You don’t have a crazy plan up your sleeve, do you?”
Draco winked. “Of course not! Now scoot!”
0000
When Harry arrived back at the Hospital wing, Marius still hadn’t arrived, but surprisingly, he found Pansy doing Blaise's hair.
“Is Blaise awake!” asked Harry fretfully as he watch Pansy brush the boy's black hair. His eyes were still heavily wrapped in bandages.
“No, I just want to make him look nice for his cousin,” Pansy said happily.
“They don’t have some sort of twisted incest relationship going on, do they?” Harry asked, dropping into a seat.
“Don’t be silly,” twittered Pansy happily sitting next to Harry.
Just as she sat, the doors of the hospital wing clinked open. From thirty or so feet away Harry spied a dark haired man peeking in round the door. All hell broke lose.
“MARIUS!” shouted Pansy jumping up from her seat and running towards the door. Harry saw the man smile a big white smile, as he stepped inside and enveloped Pansy in a great bear hug, kissing her numerous times on both cheeks.
From what Harry could see, Marius was a tall, tanned, well fit sort of guy, but when he got closer to Blaise and Goyle's bed side, Harry realised why Draco and Pansy went completely insane. Marius was every inch a Roman god: chiselled features, dark luscious eyes enclosed by long thick black eye lashes... His façade oozed sex, like his Italian leather boats and muggle clothes and a soft pale blue shirt, that, on Harry, Draco or Blaise, would make them look like innocent little boys, but on Marius it made him look like sex on the beach.
“Dear Marius,” Pansy was saying, though Harry barely registered it, “This is Harry, Blaise and my good friend.”
The stunning Marius’s eyes glanced over Harry’s body, and Harry suddenly wished he had put more thought into what to wear, like Draco had. Though he was sure he could feel Marius attractive eyes tearing off his clothes, he couldn’t have been a day past 21. Harry lashed out his hand for Marius to shake.
“No, no, Harry darling,” said Marius in a thick Italian accent. “If you are a friend of Blaise, then you are a friend of mine, and my friends and I greet like this!” He grabbed Harry by the shoulders and kissed him many times on each cheek.
Harry would have giggled if he wasn’t so giddy.
“It very nice to meet you,” Harry gushed, feeling extremely weak at the knees.
“You too, darling, you too!” smiled Marius. “And how is my dearest cousin doing?”
“Better,” said Pansy, smiling sadly. “He should be awake soon.”
“And our little friend Greg?” Marius asked, looking at Goyle's bed.
“He's getting better too. He woke up yesterday for a short time.”
“Good, good,” said Marius, shrugging his arm around Pansy's shoulders. “So, beautiful, how is that slave driver of yours? I see he is yet to get that ring on your finger!”
Pansy giggled. “Draco is fine, and you know very well why he doesn’t plan to marry me anymore.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. I bet he would love to steal you all to his self, producing heirs and cooking him dinner.”
“Well then, you had better save me! Whisk me off to Italy to share your villa with you!”
“Ahh, but I would never be able to keep you in line, would I, darling? A poor Italian poet like me, you would be making your way through all the Italian boys as soon as you arrived!”
“I'm sure it would be the other way around, Marius. I bet I would have to fight off the Italian boys lined up for your bed room!”
“You cheeky little monkey!” laughed Marius, tapping her on her nose. “Where is that stunning boy Draco, anyway? I will have to have a word to him about keeping his women friends under control!”
“I believe, Marius,” drawled Draco, who was leaning against the near by wall. How long he had been there, Harry was unable to guess. “I think we would find that the only one amongst us who would be able to even try to keep Pansy in line would be Potter. Even after all our pressure he's still as straight as a ruler.”
“What!” Marius cried, while giving Draco the routine hugs and kisses. “A friend of Blaise's who’s not even a bit bendy? I don’t believe that!”
Harry blushed. “You could say, I'm kind of… Try sexual. I will try anything once.”
Marius smiled seductively. “Have you ever tried Italian, Harry?” he purred.
Harry blushed more. “I’ve tried 1/4.” He glanced at Blaise's sleeping body.
Marius smiled. “My cousin is too lucky for his own good!”
“How long are you planning on staying, Marius?” asked Pansy
“Just until Blaise gets better. And why aren’t you lot in classes anyway?” asked Marius.
“Special permission from the Headmaster,” Draco smirked eyeing Marius in delight.
“Excuse me.” Madam Pomfrey stood next to Marius. “You must be Mister Zabini.”
Harry smiled at the fact the nurse was a bit red in Marius’s presence.
“Yes, that's correct, dear.” Marius read Madam Pomfrey's name badge. “Poppy, what a wonderful name!”
“Thank you,” blushed the nurse. “I need to change the boy's bandages, but if these three want to show you around the school...”
“Oh, yes, great suggestion! Thank you, Poppy! Are you sure my cousin and his friend will be okay?”
“I shall keep a special eye on him just for you,” whispered Poppy with a smile.
“Ahh, superb, Poppy! Superb!”
Harry followed Marius, Pansy, and Draco out of the hospital and through the halls of Hogwarts. We wandered behind in an almost awed like dream, imagining being the centre of Marius’s universe. Draco and Pansy squabbled wittily over Marius attention.
“Hogwarts is fantastic,” gushed Marius. “I always wanted to come and have a look at the school my little cousin talks nonstop about.”
“What school did you go to?” Harry asked curiously.
“I was home schooled, sadly I don’t have a ounce of magic in me. Serves my father right for having an affair with a muggle. I am as squib as you can get.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I presumed since the Zabini family had a few… interesting contacts that they were pureblood,” said Harry.
“They are all purebloods besides me. I’m their dirty little secret,” said Marius with a wink. “That’s why they kept me in Italy-- so I wouldn’t ruin my families so-called image.”
“That’s horrid,” said Harry sorrowfully.
“One of the many woes created by you know who,” Marius said pointedly.
Harry nodded sadly. 'So he does know who I am,' thought Harry. 'Yet he didn’t turn all gushing on me, I am quite impressed.'
“Come on, show me this famous Quidditch pitch,” Marius said, turning to go outside.
0000
“Psst! Harry, wake up.”
Harry sleepily opened his eyes. He peered around the white hospital wing. It must have been about dinner time by the light he could see pouring in through the white framed windows.
“How long have I been asleep?” he snorted, rubbing his eyes.
“Not as long as me, sleepy head,” Blaise drawled.
Harry cleared his eyes and realised Blaise and Goyle were both sitting up in their beds. Blaise still had his eyes bandaged heavily but was smiling a wide grin, just like his cousin, who was sitting next to him on his bed. Goyle, though battered and bruised, looked very happy. Pansy was clinging onto his hand like there was no tomorrow. It was Draco who had shaken him awake.
“Goyle! Blaise! You're okay!” Harry leapt up and gave them both quick hugs.
“We're quite dandy, Harry,” said the nearly blind Blaise without a hint of sarcasm.
“We've been so worried! I’m so sorry about Ron! I had no idea he would go that far!”
“Shh, Harry. It's okay, you dolt,” Blaise said pleasantly. “Now stop avoiding the topic and tell us all the details!”
“What details?” Harry asked nervously.
“The details of you and Draco shagging in the forest, of course! I knew I was right. I told that Headmaster, I did, leave them to shag!”
“Oh… Well the thing is, Blaise…” said Draco carefully.
“We shagged liked crazy bunnies all night long!” Harry put in before Draco could finish.
“I knew it!” clapped Pansy.
“Grotty,” mumbled Goyle.
Blaise smiled widely. “You guys are so cute!”
“So it would seem our Try sexual here, tried a bit of Draco Malfoy,” remarked Marius, glancing between Harry and Draco with a slick smile.
Blaise giggled happily.
“Well, I think I'm going to go off to bed,” Pansy said, yawning. “I’m still a bit tired. Night everyone!”
Everyone chorused goodnight back.
Just as she left, Madam Pomfrey trotted over, telling both Blaise and Goyle that they needed to go back to sleep. She fed them numerous potions before both boys dropped quickly off to sleep. She smiled kindly at Marius before disappearing into her office.
“Well, how about I go steal us some food from the kitchen for tea?” Draco asked, slipping out of his seat.
Marius nodded happily, smiling gratefully at Draco.
“Be back in a second,” Draco smiled, slipping out the door.
Marius slowly got off Blaise’s bed and sat in the seat next to Harry. His dark black hair... Harry realised it smelt like woodland forests and water falls. Harry gulped nervously; he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of someone so sexy and cool.
“So, you enjoy Hogwarts, Harry?” asked Marius, smiling brightly.
“Yeah, I love it! It’s a really great school--” Harry suddenly stopped talking. One of Marius’s soft, golden hands rested on Harry’s thigh.
“You like boys, don’t you, Harry?” purred Marius into Harry’s ear.
Harry nodded slowly. He felt himself go beet red, the hand moving higher up his leg.
“Do you like me, Harry Potter?” asked Marius, his teeth nipping at Harry’s earlobe.
Harry nodded quickly, he could feel Marius's talented thumb rubbing a small circle on the inside of his thigh.
“Do you want me to kiss you, Harry Potter?” Marius asked, his voice like liquid fire.
Harry heart was thumbing in his ears. He was finding each breath harder and harder to take.
“Y-y-yes,” he stuttered out at last.
Like a flash of lightening, Marius straddled him, his pelvis dangerously close to Harry's. He smiled a wide, white smile that reminded Harry of his younger cousin. Then before Harry knew what was going on, or had time to try and keep his rising ‘temperate’ under control, Marius's lips were hastily on his, red hot in desire, and Harry's eyes fluttered closed. His mouth was being openly explored by Marius sharp Italian tongue.
Suddenly Harry heard something drop. He and Marius opened their eyes, Marius still straddling him they peered around. Draco was standing there eyes as wide as galleons. He turned quickly and ran from the hospital wing. Marius smirked and turned his head back around, then leaned forward to kiss Harry again.
“Wait,” Harry said quickly. “Shouldn’t we go after Draco? He looked upset.”
“He will be fine. He has had his go with the Boy Who Lived, he’ll understand it’s my turn,” Marius smirked.
Harry spoke angrily. “I’m more then just the Boy Who Lived!”
“Of course, Harry darling. You’re a brilliant kisser.” He leaned forward again.
Harry pushed him off and stood up. “What about Pansy and Malfoy? They love you! They worship the very ground you walk on!”
“I know, isn’t it great? Those little brats would do anything for me,” Marius said sliding his hand around Harry's hip.
“No, it’s not great! You treat them like shit. I’m going after Malfoy.”
“Fine,” said Marius, sitting back down. “But you don’t know what you are missing out on, boy.”
Harry suddenly realised that all Marius's leather boots and flash clothes were, was a façade.
0000
“Malfoy! Wait! Please, wait up!” cried Harry, running down a flight of stairs, meeting Draco at the bottom.
Draco stopped and folded his arms, glaring at Harry.
“I’m sorry, alright!” Harry said, puffing. “I never should have let it get that far when I knew you liked him!”
Draco still peered angrily at Harry. “I stayed with him and Blaise in Italy last summer. I’ve seen him do plenty worse with complete strangers.”
“Still, it must be hard to have it sprung on you like that,” Harry said worriedly.
“Not really, Potter. I don’t even like him like that, really. Sure, he would be a great fuck, but he could never have a serious relationship with any one.”
“Then why did you look so upset and walk out if you weren’t jealous?” Harry asked suspiciously.
Draco didn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t know,” he muttered resentfully.
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why would you care if we were kissing then?”
“I don’t care, Potter! Go back and continue if that’s what you want to do so badly!” Draco barked crossly.
“I don’t, actually. He only wanted me because I’m Harry sodding Potter,” Harry said, quite offended.
“That’s not cool,” said Draco, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why don’t we run down to the kitchen and get Dobby to whip up us a fed?” Harry suggested with a smile.
“Sounds like a plan, Potter.”
The band smiled, but were too tired to be excited.
And then came the moment they had all been dreading. A newly awakened Madam Rosmerta, marching towards them with a very determined frown on her face.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you all out right now!"
"Please, Madam Rosmerta, we only lied because we love this pub, and we love singing here." Harry pouted. "But if you don’t want us to perform here anymore, it's ok, when won’t sniff be that upset."
Rosmerta's frown slowly melted, and soon she was smiling brightly. "Oh, you rat bag, you remind me so much of your father! Fine, you can still play! But you need to ask permission from the headmaster, and no more underage drinking, please. I don’t hold for that kind of behaviour in this establishment!"
The band breathed out a sigh of relief. Rosmerta smiled proudly. "Butterbeers on the house!" she cried, leading them to a more private table.
0000
"Oh my god, that’s like the …" Blaise tried counting on his fingers, but failed miserably. Pansy had snuck in a bottle of vodka up her very tight dress, though it seemed Blaise was the only one drinking.
"Seventh." Draco offered easily.
"Yess, dear chap, seventh girl to ask me to sign her bosom!"
"I think that last one was a man." Pansy said lightly.
"SO?" Blaise cried. "I am a bi…bi...sensual and I’m not picky!"
"Hello, Ostentatious by Nature," said a slightly overweight middle-aged man in a set of dark blue robes. "My names Daniel Bobjea. I'm a talent search for the muggle and wizard label; would you mind if I had a quick word?"
"Go ahead, darling!" said Pansy smoothly. "I’m Pansy Parkinson, the Band's Manager. Please take a seat." The band shifted so Daniel could sit down.
"Well, I'll get straight to the point. I really like your style, and I think you'll go far in both the muggle and wizard music industry. My only problem is how old you all are, and that you still intend to continue high school. My boss, the owner of the label, will need to meet you and see you all perform before we make a decision, and Madam Rosmerta tells me that you're to perform here every two weeks, so I guess I shall see you all in a fortnight." He stood quickly and turned to leave. "Oh, and I want to hear some of your own music, if that’s ok. Ta ta for now." And he disappeared as quickly as he arrived.
"Oh my god, he was so gay." Blaise cooed.
"I can’t believe this is actually happening." Goyle said, taking a small sip of butterbeer.
"I know, it’s unreal." Blaise said, taking another shot of vodka. "Who wants to come dance with me?"
"Dance?" Pansy asked sceptically. "There isn’t any music!"
"We, my darling, shall make our own music!" Blaise declared, standing quickly and climbing over Draco to get out of the booth. He walked to the stage, and after a minute of muttering and accidentally burning things, he managed to get his bass to play on its own. A strong bass beat pounded out of it, filling the noisy room.
"Come on! Come on, Pansy! Come on, Goyle! Let’s dance!" he called.
Pansy jumped to her feet immediately. Being quite ostentatious in nature, she loved to dance. "Come on Goyle, up you come!" she cried, pulling him with her. Blaise and Pansy immediately started a two person show five feet away from the table, and after much persuading, they finally got Goyle to dance too. Soon, other small groups of students started to dance on Blaise’s make shift dance floor as well.
"I have to admit, you Slytherins are quite resourceful." joked Harry to Draco.
Draco smirked. "You should have seen the time they created wings out of an old witch weekly and a pair of socks. I believe that was the fifth time Blaise jumped off the astronomy tower, but of course he forgot about the…"
"Balcony." Harry finished with a smile.
"You know us too well," Draco said, pouring two shots, one for himself and one for Harry.
Draco threw back his head gracefully, wincing slightly as he returned the shot glass to the table.
"Well, it’s only fair. You do know a lot about me." Harry said, taking a shot, though not as graceful as Draco had.
"I know all the facts about Potter," said Draco, pouring more drinks. "But I know nothing about Harry. Like I know you've defeated Voldemort numerous times, but why does that matter if you yourself were drunk at the time and can't even remember them?"
Harry laughed. "Believe me," he said bitterly, "I wasn’t drunk. I wish I had been."
"So you wouldn’t remember." Draco whispered.
"Exactly." said Harry, laughing with no humour.
"We’ve both seen the war, you and I, Potter." Draco said, leaning back against the soft velvet covered seat. "Every day I wish I hadn’t, but I have it the same as you, I suppose."
Harry and Draco sat in silence, both drinking their way steadily thought Pansy’s vodka. The dim lights in the bar cast shadows over Draco, who had his head leaned back and his eyes lightly closed. Harry wondered if he knew how much he looked like a perfect black and white photo.
"Harry, can we have a word?" Hermione’s bothered voice broke the placid atmosphere.
Draco open one eye. "I’m sorry," he said sarcastically, "but you need to make an appointment to speak to Mister Potter. At this moment, he is in the middle of a private conversation, so if you don’t mind, piss off."
"Yes?" Harry asked, Ron and Hermione ignoring Draco’s rude behaviour. "Come to tell me I’m the spawn of the devil?"
"Harry, will you please just listen and stop interrupting? Is it too much to ask to want to know what’s going on in your life? We are your friends." Hermione complained.
"Oh sure, if the definition of a friend is someone who doesn’t care about what their friend is feeling and only talks to them when they want to know something...you're right, you guys are great friends!" Draco said sardonically.
"Shut up, Malfoy, or I'll knock your freaky arse over. Do you even realise that you're wearing a dress?"
Draco stood up so quickly Harry thought he looked like a flash of lightening.
"Go ahead, Weasel, I dare you!" he spat, even though he was a lot shorter than Ron. His eyes, grey, molten and smouldering, flashed dangerously. He even gave Harry the willies.
"Harry, please! You can’t tell me you like hanging out with these…these people! You should be training, or studying, or doing something productive. Do you really want to waste these last years at school lounging round drinking with these…"
"Just say it, Granger! Spawns of the devil. You find it so hard to think that he might like us, don’t you? You hate to think he tells other people his little secrets and not you!"
"Well, I think Harry finds some helpful uses for you." Ron said bitterly. "Sex, and I doubt even that was any good with a skank like Parkinson."
Draco clenched his fists angrily, shaking in anger.
"Will you both just shut up?" Harry growled furiously at Hermione and Ron "This is nothing to do with Pansy, so leave her out of it!"
"Harry, that girl has no morals! I bet she's a death eater too! I bet they all are, just trying to be your friends so they can hand you over to You-Know-Who!"
"Oh yes, that’s right," said Draco sarcastically, "The weasel and the beaver have solved it again!"
"Harry, we just don’t want you to make a mistake!"
"It’s human nature to make mistakes, Hermione!" Harry growled.
"Yes, but when you make mistakes, you kill people!"
Harry looked like he had been hit in the face with a hammer.
"I…I can’t believe you would say that." he choaked angrily. "Why, you..."
Draco put an arm on Harry’s shoulder. "Leave it." he whispered. "It won’t be worth it tomorrow."
Harry shook his head angrily, trying desperately to control the tingling he felt forming in the corner of his eyes.
"Harry, it won't do you or the war any good if you spend your time hanging out with a gang of fags and that slutty hoe Parkinson." Ron spat.
There was a loud smack, as Goyle's enormous fist connected with the side of Ron’s face.
"I am no fag, you bloody ginga!" he said, staring down at Ron who had collapsed onto the floor.
"I am a prefect!" Hermione said shrilly. "You can’t just hit people willy nilly!"
"Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you as well!" Goyle rumbled.
Hermione whitened, hurriedly collected Ron and helped him hobble away.
Harry let go the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
"They…they said they would always be there for me," he said in a quiet voice, dropping into a seat.
Draco sat down next to him and patted his knee. "Don’t worry, you didn’t need them anyway." he smiled briefly. "Where are Blaise and Panse?" Draco asked Goyle.
"Still dancing. I saw the little convention going on over here and decided to listen in."
"Good thing you did! I swear, that Weasley was about to try and kiddie fiddle with us." Draco joked lamely.
"Well, come on then, no point sitting around when there's dancing to be done!" said Goyle in fake happiness. "It will be like one big group orgy!"
Draco and Harry smiled, and went to join their friends.
0000
"I don’t want another pretty face, I don’t want just anyone to hold!" slurred Harry, tumbling over.
"Come on Potter, stop it with the Jesse sodding McCartney, he couldn’t sing his way out of a box! And be careful, or you'll stand on them!" Draco growled.
"Stand on what?" Harry asked drunkenly.
"All the rabbits, Potter! Can’t you see them?"
Harry had never found walking home from the pub in completely darkness so much fun before.
"Yes! I can’t see them everywhere!" Harry cried, even though he couldn’t.
"Look, there's Hazel Rah!" cried Draco, pointing at nothing.
"I see him! I see him…wait a minute! You've read Watership Down?" Harry asked Draco, stopping suddenly.
"Of course!" declared Draco. "It's like the best book ever!"
Harry laughed loudly at him.
"Well, obviously you've read it as well if you know who Hazel Rah is!" said Draco angrily.
That shut Harry up.
Draco laughed naughtily.
"Oh no!" he cried suddenly.
"What?" Harry asked.
"I lost Hazel Rah!"
"I think we have a bigger problem, silly!" Harry said wisely. "We've lost Goyley and Blaisey and Pansies as well!"
"Not true." Draco scoffed. "They were right up ahead."
"Can you see them?"
"…No…"
The two boys stood staring down the path to Hogwarts in utter shock.
"Oh no, what if they got eaten by man eating snails?" Draco cried.
"Or what if we were eaten by man eating snails and we're in their bellies right now?"
"And then what if a bigger snail ate the snail we're in, and then we're in a snail that was eaten by a snail that was eaten again by a hippopotamus?" declared Draco.
"Now you're just being ridiculous!" Harry slurred.
"So? We're still lost!" Draco said heatedly.
"You're right!" Harry cried in frustration "Mally, I don’t like being lost! Voldemort always stops by for a visit when I’m lost or confused or kind of angsty!"
"Mally?" Draco slurred rising an eyebrow.
"No, that’s your name, silly, my name is Potty!"
"Ok, Potty! Let’s go for a walk in the moonlight!"
"Yes, Mally, that would be dandy! But aren’t we lost?"
"No, we're walking in the moonlight." Draco linked his arms with Harry.
"Ok, if you say so, Mally, off we trot!"
And off Harry and Draco did trot, away from Hogwarts, walking carefree in the moonlight.
0000
Harry woke up with a splitting headache. He tried to bury himself deeper in his blankets. He inhaled the comforting smell of damp grass. Wait a second. His bed never smelt of damp grass. He sat up quickly; he noticed he clothes were damp all over and he was sitting in a clearing. He saw the lake glisten ten feet away in the late morning sun.
"How did I get here?" he wondered aloud.
"I don’t know, but let’s hope no one ever finds out." said a voice.
Harry looked down and saw a blond face resting on his lap.
"You make a good pillow, Potty." Draco joked in a tired voice. "Now go back to sleep!"
"Oh my God, we didn’t you know what!"
"What? Slay Voldemort?"
"Have sex, Malfoy!"
"Well, does your arse hurt?" Draco asked rudely.
"Nope."
"Mine neither, so I suppose that’s a no." Draco said, closing his eyes.
"Why are we all damp?" Harry asked nervously.
"Can’t you remember trying to go for a swim in the lake?" Draco asked, not bothering to open his eyes.
"We tried to swim in the lake."
"No, you tried. I tried to get you back out. But then, I suppose that's only fair, I did climb the tree, and you were the one who got me down."
"I can’t remember that either." Harry whined. "I hate getting drunk, I can never remember anything."
"Can you remember when you stripped naked and did a war dance for Zeus?" Draco asked, sitting up.
"That didn’t happen." said Harry.
"Ok, so maybe it didn’t, but I enjoyed thinking about it." said Draco, getting to his feet.
"Why were you using me for a human cushion?" Harry asked, shivering from his damp clothes.
"We drew blades of grass, shortest one got a pile of leaves." Draco pointed at the small pile of leaves Harry’s head had been on a minute ago. "And the other got a human pillow."
"You cheated, didn’t you?" yawned Harry.
"Of course, but you were too drunk to prove otherwise. I was nice, I helped you collect leaves."
Harry rubbed his sore neck, and looking around at the lake, he could just see a small tower of Hogwarts right around the other side. They had walked halfway around in the lake in the forbidden forest in their drunken state.
"We'd better get back, the others will be worried." Harry grumped. "And I'm kind of hungry. It'll take us a couple of hours to walk back, I reckon."
Draco yawned. "The others won’t be worried, they'll all presume we were off somewhere shagging like bunnies."
"Like Hazel Rah?" Harry asked, laughing.
Draco scowled. "You will never repeat that to anyone, Potter!" he ordered.
Harry laughed again and set off down the nearest path pointing to Hogwarts. He looked over his shoulder and smiled widely, "Give you a race to the nearest tree!" he called.
Draco smirked and took off at a run.
0000
"I don’t think this is very safe." said Harry anxiously. "Remember what happened last time we were wandering around the forbidden forest?"
"Yeah, well, we were both extremely drunk so I don’t think..."
"No, I mean when we were in first year, you dolt!" Harry spat quietly. "We saw Voldemort!"
"That wasn’t Voldemort." scoffed Draco "Voldemort has minions and snakes, and a crown and a gold rod that he likes to hit people with."
Harry raised an eyebrow.
"So what if I like to exaggerate the truth?" Draco muttered "But it still wasn’t the lord and master Voldemort!"
"Will you be quiet?" hissed Harry. "I think I hear something coming!"
"What are you on about, Potter? I’m too young to die!"
"No, I can definitely hear something coming! Be quiet, would you?"
"Potterrr! Save me! Save me! I don’t want to die!" whined Draco.
"Shut up! Better get our wands out, don’t you reckon?"
Draco whined again. "I didn’t bring my wand!"
"What?" Harry asked shocked. "We're in the middle of a frigging war, and you wander around a dangerous forest where peril lies everywhere and you didn't bring your wand?"
"It didn’t got with the dress." sighed Draco.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Draco clung to Harry desperately. "Please, Potter! These leather pants can’t be dry-cleaned if I get them covered in blood!"
"Calm down, would you? We don’t even know what it is! It might only be Hagrid's half bother, Grawp!"
"Half as in human, or half as in giant?" Draco asked quietly, his arms still wrapped around Harry’s waist.
"Um, giant."
"Potter!" cried Draco, jumping up and hugging Harry with all his might. Harry got thrown off balance and fell to the forest floor, Draco tumbling down with him.
When Hagrid ran into the small clearing, he got quiet a shock. Harry, who he'd secretly always looked upon like the son he never had, was being straddled by a thin blonde in leather pants. Both locked eyes with him and reddened at once.
"Ahh, Hagrid, this isn’t what it looks like!" said Harry, trying to throw the blonde off. Hagrid recognised him as the spiteful Draco Malfoy in his Care of Magical Creatures' class. Once up, Draco still clung to Harry as if Hagrid might go crazy and attack him.
"You can let go." whispered Harry.
"I don’t think I will. If he tries to hit me, this way there’s a fifty percent chance he'll get you as well." Draco whispered back, not taking his eyes off Hagrid.
"Yeh'd best get back ter school." said Hagrid, who had also gone very red. "A ruckus has broken out amongst the houses over yeh two."
"What do you mean? What happened?" asked Harry walking slowly (because Draco was still attached to him) over to Hagrid.
"Well, yeh didn’t come back to Gryffindor last night, so Hermione an' Ron sent an alarm to the Order and Dumbledore. They were hell set that yeh were in Slytherin, so we searched Slytherin, but we didn’t find yeh, an' young Malfoy was missin' too. His friends weren’t at all worried 'bout either of yeh. The dark haired one, Zabini, told the headmaster, quite rudely, that he should, ahh, ‘Piss off an' let them shag if they wanna!’. Though we were certain that yeh wouldn’t be doing that, ahh we might have been a bit wrong there."
"We weren’t shagging." Harry said crossly.
"Ah, but we might have, Harry. I thought you were to drunk to remember?" Draco smirked.
Hagrid's eyes went as wide as saucers.
"So, what’s happening at the school?" Harry asked, changing subjects.
"Whole of Gryffindor an' the whole of Slytherins are goin' at it like cats an' dogs, mass brawls breakin' out everywhere, most of them with the older years. People in Gryffindor gettin' angry at the Zabini boy for pinning yeh as gay an' with a Malfoy, the Slytherins gettin' angry at the Gryffindors fer thinking yer too good fer one of their own. The other houses joining in as well. Gryffindors been preachin' it’s an attack from You-Know-Who, an' that Malfoy's a death eater spy. Ron an' Hermione've been pretty active supportin' all the theories. Slytherins getting pretty scuffled."
"No one in Slytherin has been hurt, have they?" asked Harry quickly.
"Yer not worried 'bout the Gryffindors?" Hagrid asked meekly.
"Yes, well, them too. It's just Slytherin is closer to the truth than Gryffindor is, and Ron and Hermione are just making up lies! Is anyone hurt?"
"Well, yeh, it’s been a bit of a riot."
"Who?" asked Draco desperately.
"A few bones broken, but Pomfey fixed them in jiffy. Ahh, couple o' seventh year Gryffindors got on the bad end of a heavy dosage o' stunning potion. Few Ravenclaws being treated after a group of Slytherins bombarded 'em with spells. There's a Hufflepuff covered in blisters from head to toe. Two Slytherins are in, two of the main fighters."
Harry and Draco breathed deep.
"Who?" Draco asked shakily.
"The Zabini boy, who started all this madness an' his big friend. A group of sixth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff boys were tryin' to capture a Slytherin girl an' question her, and the boys stepped in. Quite an amazin' fight, ten against two. Brought down four o' them each, as well."
"We need to get back." Draco whined. "It's Blaise and Goyle!"
Harry went very white. "You're right, we need to get back! This is all my fault!"
Hagrid watched in shock as Draco pulled Harry into a quick hug.
"Shh, Potter. The one's who are at fault in this are those bloody Gryffindors, and we'll teach them a lesson."
Harry smiled wearily.
"Harry, could yeh blow up some red sparks quickly, let Dumbledore know I found yeh."
Harry sent red sparks up, and they headed off for the school.
000
Dumbledore was waiting on the steps of Hogwarts, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, who was dressed in red and gold, to his left, and on his right side stood a very subdued Pansy Parkinson, who had spent the last couple of hours in the hospital wing with her very sick friends.
When Dumbledore had seen the red sparks sent up, he felt instantly relieved. Hopefully some peace, that for the last twenty hours Hogwarts had been vacant of, would finally fall over his school.
The half the school was mingling around outside to see the return of the two boys. A nervous pause in the fighting. Many believed that Harry had once again fought with the dark lord, while others didn’t know what the heck had been happening.
When Hagrid finally walked out of the forest followed by the two boys, silence fell over the crowd, all houses alike. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were walking with their arms linked together. They were very ruffled, as if they'd spent the past day (it was late afternoon) trekking through the bush, or shagging non stop through the morning. As they approached, the look of horror was apparent on both their faces. Dumbledore noticed the very stony girl standing on his right breaking out in tears, for the first time since all these fights had started, when she first saw them. He wondered if it was in relief or anger or something else entirely. He'd been wondering vaguely what happened out in the forbidden forest.
His answers were soon closer to being answered when Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy got even nearer, the crowd parting as the two boys, still linked by their arms, approached Dumbledore. He wondered why both Hermione and Ron looked so worried, and why Harry hadn’t looked at them once.
Miss Parkinson suddenly lost all control and threw herself off the steps and towards the boys. The two dropped arms and both stimultaneously got pulled into a violent hug. Dumbledore watched, slightly taken aback, as both boys and the girl hugged for a long time, the boys whispering into her ear, trying to make her calm down. The crowd was still silent. When the trio had finished hugging, they all walked in arms up to Dumbledore.
"Sorry, Professor." Harry said with a slight smile. "Draco and I got lost in the forest."
Dumbledore stared down at the boy, who he didn’t believe could surprise him anymore, and then his eyes glistened. Dumbledore turned to the school and called, "No need to worry, students. Harry and his friend Draco were lost in the forest. Now, I believe that all our petty arguments have been solved, so you may return to the great hall for dinner!"
"Sir, we're going to visit Gregory and Blaise." Harry said quietly to the headmaster. He still hadn’t looked at Ron or Hermione.
"Of course." said Dumbledore gently.
The three turned and started to make their way to the hospital wing, Pansy still clinging to both of them.
"Wait, Harry!" called Ronald Weasley desperately.
Clouds blocked out the sun, and suddenly the whole sky darkened. Thunder roared in the air. The headmaster realised that the Boy Who Lived was very, very angry.
"It was you, wasn’t it?" barked Harry, turning around. "The sixth years who attacked Pansy, who hurt Blaise and Goyle? You knew they were my friends! You've spoken to them, I invited them into our common room, you've talked about quidditch to them, yet you attacked them as if you're some kind of death eater!"
"I am not the death eater here, Harry!" shouted Ron. "They are, and this is what the light side wants, that death eaters are punished! We thought you would understand that more than anyone!"
"YOU ARE WRONG!" Harry shouted. "You know nothing of what's good! You know nothing of what the light side wants!"
Harry turned, and taking Pansy and Draco by the arm, he led them up the stairs to go and visit the hospital wing, leaving Ron standing like a fool, staring angrily at his retreating back.
Dumbledore realised then that the Gods had chosen the best person to save the world. Though he wasn’t stereotypically wonderful, and he didn’t wear a golden cape, he was the only person who could save them. Someone so perfectly noble, someone who was open and trustful, who spoke out for the ones who couldn’t always, and who listened to Nirvana and wore leather pants.
The hospital's white walls shone in an eerily blue light; night was falling on the sleepy school and once again the halls were deadly quiet. A boy, no older than 16, sat in a rickety wooden chair beside two hospital beds. His unruly black head rested in his hands. He stared somberly at the two sleeping figures. The hospital healer wobbled in and out of the many occupied beds muttering spells and pouring potions. She paid Harry no attention, visiting hours were over. But he would not leave; he had sent Draco down to Slytherin to put Pansy in bed. Draco promised as soon as the exhausted girl was asleep that he would be right back up.
Blaise, the nurse had said, had received three stunning spells to the chest and a Conjunctivitis spell. His dark brown eyes were covered in thick white bandages. Goyle had been on the receiving end of a Furnunculus curse, a Rictusempra charm as well as a Tarantallegra Spell. Harry hated to imagine breaking out in boils while dancing and being tickled uncontrollable. He shuddered in disgust to think he had been the on to teach the Gryffindors last year to stun.
“They're still asleep?” asked a very weary looking Draco Malfoy as he plopped himself into a seat next to Harry. Sighing, Harry nodded his head.
“Madam Pomfrey says they will be fine after a good sleep. Blaise has lost his sight but it should be back in a couple of days.” Harry rubbed his eyes, his scar was tingling uncomfortably.
“Must have been a long night for them,” Draco sighed, staring in horror at the many bandages wrapped around their friends.
“I… I just can’t believe Ron would do such a thing”
“Well, he was angry and jealous. I hadn’t given him much incentive to be nice to Slytherins before.”
“Don’t do that Malfoy, don’t give him excuses!” Harry said heatedly jumping up and pacing down the small isle between Goyle and Blaise’s beds.
“He only attacked us because he was worried over you, Potter. Maybe you should be glad you have such loyal Gryffindor friends,” Draco mumbled.
“You're right,” said Harry drearily, his back to the two beds and Draco as he paused in his pacing. “I can’t blame Ron, it is my fault. It’s my fault so many people got hurt.” He hugged himself self consciously with his arms. Without looking back at the astonished Draco Malfoy, he started for the door.
“Don’t you dare, Potter!” hissed Draco, jumping up and following Harry around the curtains. “Don’t you dare blame all this shit on your self! You are not a god! I was out there with you and we did nothing wrong! We’re your friends, Potter, so get it into your thick, scar covered head that we want to be your friends! You can't just up and leave!”
“You don’t understand!” Harry whispered, his dark green eyes melting insecurely. “I only get people hurt.”
Draco smacked Harry hard around the face. “Stop it you grotty piece of shit! You're not meant to be this sodding unstable. Who the fuck does Dumbledore think he is letting you walk around like this? Potter, get it into your thick head that shit happens.”
Harry just peered angrily at his feet, one of his hands resting against his red cheek. Suddenly, before he realised it was happening, Draco Malfoy had swooped him into a sharp bear hug.
And like a fresh grey wind he had blown back to his seat next to Goyle's bedside, picking up a stray teen witchly magazine with his long pale fingers.
“Can you believe they have a two page spread on making your own face cream with sage and slug juice? Honestly, are they trying to force teenage girls into an acne breakout?” he snorted.
Harry took a seat next to Malfoy and smiled bleakly.
0000
“Mister Potter, Mister Malfoy, I really must insist that you head back to your own dormitories,” said the school nurse as she smoothed the sleeping Blaise’s blankets. “It’s been 24 hours, and they're not likely to awaken for another 24. You would be a lot better getting a good nice sleep yourselves."
Draco blatantly ignored her like the other six times she nagged them to return to their common rooms.
“I’m really sorry Madam Pomfrey, but it really doesn’t feel right leaving them by themselves,” Harry sighed.
“But visiting hours are well over,” she replied crossly.
“Yes, but it would be terrible leaving them when I feel they really need our support!” Harry cried.
“Mister Potter, they are in mild comas, they don’t know you are there anyway!”
Draco snorted.
“You are not making this any easier,” Harry muttered to Draco.
“Boys, you don’t want me to inform the Headmaster do you?”
Draco continued to pretend no one was talking as he flipped through another witch magazine. “Ohh. Look Potter, this one has an article about you and a little test to work out how compatible you are to the reader.”
“Please boys, it is very important that you leave right now! You are disturbing my hospital!”
“But I thought every one in your hospital was in a coma? How can we be disrupting them?”
“Potter, when is your birthday?” Malfoy asked randomly.
“Huh?”
“Its a part of the quiz. I’m seeing how compatible I am with Harry Potter. Question number 7: When is Harry Potter's birthday?”
“You are joking, right?”
“Fine, I’ll skip that one. Question number 2: Does Harry wear boxers or briefs?”
“Malfoy, please. I’m kind of busy here.”
“Don’t worry, I know the answer to that one. Boxers, though I have suggested going commando while wearing leather pants.”
Madam Pomfrey crossed her arms and glared wearily at Harry. “Leather, Mister Potter?”
“Please, we are not going to leather… I mean, leave.” Harry winced.
Madam Pomfrey shuffled some paper on her clipboard. “If you're not going to leave, can you at least answer some questions about the boys?”
“Sure,” Harry said with a sigh.
“Do you know any safe family I can contact for either of them?”
Harry peered expectantly at Draco, having no idea if it was wise contacting either boy’s parents.
“Blaise and Goyle's parents are currently unavailable,” Draco drawled in a bored tone.
“Are you sure there aren’t any distant relations that would be safe to contact?”
Draco peered over the magazine. “Actually, now that you mention it, there is some one.” Draco smiled lustfully. “Blaise's Italian cousin Marius!”
“Marius who?” asked the nurse, writing it down on her clipboard.
“Marius Varen goddamn sexy Zabini!” Draco Malfoy cried, fanning himself with the book. “The hottest sex that sprouted legs, I swear!” He crooned, almost falling off his chair.
“Mister Malfoy! That will do!” cried Madam Pomfrey. “I swear! In all my years! Never have I heard such profanity!”
“Shit. Tits. Bollocks. Poo. Fuck. Fanny. Tart face. Arse!” Draco said returning to his magazine test. “Potter, what did you say your favourite colour was?”
“I shall owl Mister Marius Zabini straight away. Now you boys sit quietly while I check on the other students. And Mister Malfoy, may I please ask you to keep your foul mouth to your self!” She briskly trotted off to her office.
“She loves me,” smiled Draco watching the nurse wander off.
“I think you will find she finds you highly offensive.”
“Pff!” Draco said flicking his hand. “Everyone does at the start.”
Harry smiled agreeably. “So what’s our compatibility, then?”
“I’m on the last question. What would be Harry Potter ideal Christmas present?”
Harry snorted.
“A: A dozen red roses,” Draco continued.
“I thought you were joking!” Harry cried.
“B: A box of Honeydukes chocolate.”
“I swear I should be allowed to sue them! This is appalling!”
“Or C:-- fuck, now this one my favourites-- A romantic picnic dinner, complete with candles and wine.” Draco screwed his eyes up in mirth. “I sooo choose C!”
“This isn’t funny, Malfoy.”
“Would you look at that? We’re 76 compatible!” Draco said in laughter and shock.
“What! 76!” Harry exclaimed, surprised.
“Yep, and it has a little text box. Oh my god you wont believe this. ‘You and Harry have spent ages trying to work out your strong but very confused feelings for each other. You and Harry both have the passion and love to make your relationship overcome even the most unlikely circumstances! Trust, love, devotion, desire, and respect are the most important words in your relationship. Remember to tell Harry how much you love him and on a daily basis. Sometimes both of you might feel overwhelmed by your romantic desires and forget the simple things, like telling Harry how much you love him!”
Harry Potter stared in a horrified awe as Draco Malfoy slipped off his chair from laughing so hard.
“That’s too bloody crazy. Some people need to get lives!”
“Calm down Potter, it’s just a bit of fun. I don’t think you can take it seriously!”
“I think you should, it sounds exactly like you little fuckers,” said a gruff voice.
“Goyle!” Draco squealed from the floor. “We've all been so bloody worried; Pansy’s has fallen into some crazy coma state.”
“She did have a long night,” Goyle said, sleepily opening an eye. “What’s the time?”
“4:30 on Sunday afternoon,” Harry said quietly. “Would you like us to get Pomfrey?”
“Nah, she’ll make me drink more of that horrid potion, I’ll just drop off to sleep. Blaise and Pansy are okay, aren’t they?”
“Blaise will be better any day now,” Harry said in a fake happiness.
“What about you two little slags, off shagging all night? Had us dead worried,” Goyle said sleepily, closing his jade eyes. And before Harry or Draco could reply, he was fast asleep.
“He thinks we were off shagging,” Harry said quietly.
“They all think something like that. ‘My friend Draco and I got lost in the forest.’ Honestly, who would believe that?” Draco said, sardonically.
“I thought it summed things up nicely.”
“Potter, really. If I was to say to you,” suddenly Draco’s voice had a hint of seduction in it,"‘My friend and I got lost in the forest,’ what would you seriously think?”
“You're right, they all think we’re fuck buddies,” Harry mumbled.
Draco laughed a quick laugh before his eyes went back on his magazine.
“But what will we tell them when they ask?” Harry asked nervously.
“We tell them, Potter, whatever they want to hear. I think there has been a bit to many fights these past weeks without us making more,” Draco said in a bored tone. “Ohh! Look, witch teen doctor. I love this shit, ha! Listen to this: “I was wondering, witchly doctor, if it is possible to spread worms during sexual activities. I really want to have sex with my boyfriend but I am afraid he might catch my worms!”
“Malfoy! I know you must be making all this stuff up!” Harry said, trying to grab the magazine off Draco.
“Nah, look here,” said Draco showing the magazine.
Harry looked at the article Draco was pointing to. He scanned it quickly and paled.
“They have got to be bloody joking. Look, they even signed it, ‘Wormsey’. That’s absolutely disgusting!”
0000
When Draco heard that Marius was going to arrive at Hogwarts to visit his ill cousin Blaise, he was sent into a panic. It was Monday morning and he and Harry had been sitting in the hospital wing since Saturday night, without a shower, and only a few meals that Pansy fetched for them when she wasn’t sitting with them or sleeping.
Draco, who'd had a crush on Marius since he had first met him, when he was 11, was instantly thrown into a nervous rant about the right type of clothes he should go change into.
“Blue cashmere top with the black slacks, or should I got green top black slacks, or throw it and wear a pink top to show I’m open to anything? Pansy, help!”
Though it seemed to Harry that Pansy was a bit busy her self, sitting on the side of Goyle's bed in an almost comatose state.
“And Marius had these big, soft golden hands, and his hair is perfect, perfect prefect!” she was mumbling to her self.
“Potter!” cried Draco, becoming quite hysterical. “He is going to be here in an hour!”
“So, we wait an hour,” said Harry tiredly. He really wasn’t in the mood for uproarious Slytherins.
“We have to get changed!” whined Draco. “By the Gods almighty, I haven’t showered in days!”
“You can hardly tell,” snickered Pansy.
“Oh, shut up you wench! You just want to steal Marius away from me!”
“Okay,” said Harry, stepping in. “Why don’t you head down to the Slytherin and have a shower, Malfoy?”
“I don’t know what to wear! I am completely indecisive!”
“Fine, I'll come with you!” Harry said angrily. “I might as well shower down there too.”
“Fine, Fine! As long as we back here to greet him!” Draco said, panic stricken.
0000
“What about the blue, Potter?”
“Well, blue often associated with intelligence, isn’t it? Like Ravenclaw? It might come off showing you’re a bit cold, though.”
“You're right, Potter, you are absolutely right!” said Draco, throwing down the blue top and grabbing a yellow one.
After Harry and Draco were both watered;, Harry grabbed some clean clothes off Draco, but not before Draco made sure they weren't the ones that he wanted to wear. After he decided he didn’t want to wear them, Harry put them on. Harry was now waiting patiently for Draco to decide.
“Yellow, Potter?”
“That top is way too Hufflepuff,” Harry said, poking out his tongue.
“What about my nice white turtle neck?”
“Do you really want to portray innocence and virginity, Malfoy?” asked Harry, raising an eyebrow.
“Your right! Completely right!” said Malfoy as he scurried in his boxers through piles of clothes. “How do you know so much about clothes anyway, Potter?”
“It’s kind of obvious... white: virgin. Red: love, green: evil,” said Harry.
“I suppose. I always knew we would make you a good gay man!”
“Well, I’m not really gay.”
Draco stopped searching for clothes to let out a howl of laughter. “What about this one, then?” He asked holding up a bright orange top.
“Wow, it's like a Gryffindor monster came and digested your top! That’s horrible; get it out of my sight!”
Draco laughed. “Exactly,” he smiled. “My point is proven: you’re as gay as a naked gay bar!”
“I think you should go with the red,” said Harry, ignoring Malfoy.
“I don’t know!” said Malfoy, frustrated.
“Well, I hate to inform you,but he's due to arrive in 3 minutes. You're going to miss him anyway!”
“Fine, then you go up and I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”
Harry glanced wearily at Draco. “You don’t have a crazy plan up your sleeve, do you?”
Draco winked. “Of course not! Now scoot!”
0000
When Harry arrived back at the Hospital wing, Marius still hadn’t arrived, but surprisingly, he found Pansy doing Blaise's hair.
“Is Blaise awake!” asked Harry fretfully as he watch Pansy brush the boy's black hair. His eyes were still heavily wrapped in bandages.
“No, I just want to make him look nice for his cousin,” Pansy said happily.
“They don’t have some sort of twisted incest relationship going on, do they?” Harry asked, dropping into a seat.
“Don’t be silly,” twittered Pansy happily sitting next to Harry.
Just as she sat, the doors of the hospital wing clinked open. From thirty or so feet away Harry spied a dark haired man peeking in round the door. All hell broke lose.
“MARIUS!” shouted Pansy jumping up from her seat and running towards the door. Harry saw the man smile a big white smile, as he stepped inside and enveloped Pansy in a great bear hug, kissing her numerous times on both cheeks.
From what Harry could see, Marius was a tall, tanned, well fit sort of guy, but when he got closer to Blaise and Goyle's bed side, Harry realised why Draco and Pansy went completely insane. Marius was every inch a Roman god: chiselled features, dark luscious eyes enclosed by long thick black eye lashes... His façade oozed sex, like his Italian leather boats and muggle clothes and a soft pale blue shirt, that, on Harry, Draco or Blaise, would make them look like innocent little boys, but on Marius it made him look like sex on the beach.
“Dear Marius,” Pansy was saying, though Harry barely registered it, “This is Harry, Blaise and my good friend.”
The stunning Marius’s eyes glanced over Harry’s body, and Harry suddenly wished he had put more thought into what to wear, like Draco had. Though he was sure he could feel Marius attractive eyes tearing off his clothes, he couldn’t have been a day past 21. Harry lashed out his hand for Marius to shake.
“No, no, Harry darling,” said Marius in a thick Italian accent. “If you are a friend of Blaise, then you are a friend of mine, and my friends and I greet like this!” He grabbed Harry by the shoulders and kissed him many times on each cheek.
Harry would have giggled if he wasn’t so giddy.
“It very nice to meet you,” Harry gushed, feeling extremely weak at the knees.
“You too, darling, you too!” smiled Marius. “And how is my dearest cousin doing?”
“Better,” said Pansy, smiling sadly. “He should be awake soon.”
“And our little friend Greg?” Marius asked, looking at Goyle's bed.
“He's getting better too. He woke up yesterday for a short time.”
“Good, good,” said Marius, shrugging his arm around Pansy's shoulders. “So, beautiful, how is that slave driver of yours? I see he is yet to get that ring on your finger!”
Pansy giggled. “Draco is fine, and you know very well why he doesn’t plan to marry me anymore.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. I bet he would love to steal you all to his self, producing heirs and cooking him dinner.”
“Well then, you had better save me! Whisk me off to Italy to share your villa with you!”
“Ahh, but I would never be able to keep you in line, would I, darling? A poor Italian poet like me, you would be making your way through all the Italian boys as soon as you arrived!”
“I'm sure it would be the other way around, Marius. I bet I would have to fight off the Italian boys lined up for your bed room!”
“You cheeky little monkey!” laughed Marius, tapping her on her nose. “Where is that stunning boy Draco, anyway? I will have to have a word to him about keeping his women friends under control!”
“I believe, Marius,” drawled Draco, who was leaning against the near by wall. How long he had been there, Harry was unable to guess. “I think we would find that the only one amongst us who would be able to even try to keep Pansy in line would be Potter. Even after all our pressure he's still as straight as a ruler.”
“What!” Marius cried, while giving Draco the routine hugs and kisses. “A friend of Blaise's who’s not even a bit bendy? I don’t believe that!”
Harry blushed. “You could say, I'm kind of… Try sexual. I will try anything once.”
Marius smiled seductively. “Have you ever tried Italian, Harry?” he purred.
Harry blushed more. “I’ve tried 1/4.” He glanced at Blaise's sleeping body.
Marius smiled. “My cousin is too lucky for his own good!”
“How long are you planning on staying, Marius?” asked Pansy
“Just until Blaise gets better. And why aren’t you lot in classes anyway?” asked Marius.
“Special permission from the Headmaster,” Draco smirked eyeing Marius in delight.
“Excuse me.” Madam Pomfrey stood next to Marius. “You must be Mister Zabini.”
Harry smiled at the fact the nurse was a bit red in Marius’s presence.
“Yes, that's correct, dear.” Marius read Madam Pomfrey's name badge. “Poppy, what a wonderful name!”
“Thank you,” blushed the nurse. “I need to change the boy's bandages, but if these three want to show you around the school...”
“Oh, yes, great suggestion! Thank you, Poppy! Are you sure my cousin and his friend will be okay?”
“I shall keep a special eye on him just for you,” whispered Poppy with a smile.
“Ahh, superb, Poppy! Superb!”
Harry followed Marius, Pansy, and Draco out of the hospital and through the halls of Hogwarts. We wandered behind in an almost awed like dream, imagining being the centre of Marius’s universe. Draco and Pansy squabbled wittily over Marius attention.
“Hogwarts is fantastic,” gushed Marius. “I always wanted to come and have a look at the school my little cousin talks nonstop about.”
“What school did you go to?” Harry asked curiously.
“I was home schooled, sadly I don’t have a ounce of magic in me. Serves my father right for having an affair with a muggle. I am as squib as you can get.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I presumed since the Zabini family had a few… interesting contacts that they were pureblood,” said Harry.
“They are all purebloods besides me. I’m their dirty little secret,” said Marius with a wink. “That’s why they kept me in Italy-- so I wouldn’t ruin my families so-called image.”
“That’s horrid,” said Harry sorrowfully.
“One of the many woes created by you know who,” Marius said pointedly.
Harry nodded sadly. 'So he does know who I am,' thought Harry. 'Yet he didn’t turn all gushing on me, I am quite impressed.'
“Come on, show me this famous Quidditch pitch,” Marius said, turning to go outside.
0000
“Psst! Harry, wake up.”
Harry sleepily opened his eyes. He peered around the white hospital wing. It must have been about dinner time by the light he could see pouring in through the white framed windows.
“How long have I been asleep?” he snorted, rubbing his eyes.
“Not as long as me, sleepy head,” Blaise drawled.
Harry cleared his eyes and realised Blaise and Goyle were both sitting up in their beds. Blaise still had his eyes bandaged heavily but was smiling a wide grin, just like his cousin, who was sitting next to him on his bed. Goyle, though battered and bruised, looked very happy. Pansy was clinging onto his hand like there was no tomorrow. It was Draco who had shaken him awake.
“Goyle! Blaise! You're okay!” Harry leapt up and gave them both quick hugs.
“We're quite dandy, Harry,” said the nearly blind Blaise without a hint of sarcasm.
“We've been so worried! I’m so sorry about Ron! I had no idea he would go that far!”
“Shh, Harry. It's okay, you dolt,” Blaise said pleasantly. “Now stop avoiding the topic and tell us all the details!”
“What details?” Harry asked nervously.
“The details of you and Draco shagging in the forest, of course! I knew I was right. I told that Headmaster, I did, leave them to shag!”
“Oh… Well the thing is, Blaise…” said Draco carefully.
“We shagged liked crazy bunnies all night long!” Harry put in before Draco could finish.
“I knew it!” clapped Pansy.
“Grotty,” mumbled Goyle.
Blaise smiled widely. “You guys are so cute!”
“So it would seem our Try sexual here, tried a bit of Draco Malfoy,” remarked Marius, glancing between Harry and Draco with a slick smile.
Blaise giggled happily.
“Well, I think I'm going to go off to bed,” Pansy said, yawning. “I’m still a bit tired. Night everyone!”
Everyone chorused goodnight back.
Just as she left, Madam Pomfrey trotted over, telling both Blaise and Goyle that they needed to go back to sleep. She fed them numerous potions before both boys dropped quickly off to sleep. She smiled kindly at Marius before disappearing into her office.
“Well, how about I go steal us some food from the kitchen for tea?” Draco asked, slipping out of his seat.
Marius nodded happily, smiling gratefully at Draco.
“Be back in a second,” Draco smiled, slipping out the door.
Marius slowly got off Blaise’s bed and sat in the seat next to Harry. His dark black hair... Harry realised it smelt like woodland forests and water falls. Harry gulped nervously; he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of someone so sexy and cool.
“So, you enjoy Hogwarts, Harry?” asked Marius, smiling brightly.
“Yeah, I love it! It’s a really great school--” Harry suddenly stopped talking. One of Marius’s soft, golden hands rested on Harry’s thigh.
“You like boys, don’t you, Harry?” purred Marius into Harry’s ear.
Harry nodded slowly. He felt himself go beet red, the hand moving higher up his leg.
“Do you like me, Harry Potter?” asked Marius, his teeth nipping at Harry’s earlobe.
Harry nodded quickly, he could feel Marius's talented thumb rubbing a small circle on the inside of his thigh.
“Do you want me to kiss you, Harry Potter?” Marius asked, his voice like liquid fire.
Harry heart was thumbing in his ears. He was finding each breath harder and harder to take.
“Y-y-yes,” he stuttered out at last.
Like a flash of lightening, Marius straddled him, his pelvis dangerously close to Harry's. He smiled a wide, white smile that reminded Harry of his younger cousin. Then before Harry knew what was going on, or had time to try and keep his rising ‘temperate’ under control, Marius's lips were hastily on his, red hot in desire, and Harry's eyes fluttered closed. His mouth was being openly explored by Marius sharp Italian tongue.
Suddenly Harry heard something drop. He and Marius opened their eyes, Marius still straddling him they peered around. Draco was standing there eyes as wide as galleons. He turned quickly and ran from the hospital wing. Marius smirked and turned his head back around, then leaned forward to kiss Harry again.
“Wait,” Harry said quickly. “Shouldn’t we go after Draco? He looked upset.”
“He will be fine. He has had his go with the Boy Who Lived, he’ll understand it’s my turn,” Marius smirked.
Harry spoke angrily. “I’m more then just the Boy Who Lived!”
“Of course, Harry darling. You’re a brilliant kisser.” He leaned forward again.
Harry pushed him off and stood up. “What about Pansy and Malfoy? They love you! They worship the very ground you walk on!”
“I know, isn’t it great? Those little brats would do anything for me,” Marius said sliding his hand around Harry's hip.
“No, it’s not great! You treat them like shit. I’m going after Malfoy.”
“Fine,” said Marius, sitting back down. “But you don’t know what you are missing out on, boy.”
Harry suddenly realised that all Marius's leather boots and flash clothes were, was a façade.
0000
“Malfoy! Wait! Please, wait up!” cried Harry, running down a flight of stairs, meeting Draco at the bottom.
Draco stopped and folded his arms, glaring at Harry.
“I’m sorry, alright!” Harry said, puffing. “I never should have let it get that far when I knew you liked him!”
Draco still peered angrily at Harry. “I stayed with him and Blaise in Italy last summer. I’ve seen him do plenty worse with complete strangers.”
“Still, it must be hard to have it sprung on you like that,” Harry said worriedly.
“Not really, Potter. I don’t even like him like that, really. Sure, he would be a great fuck, but he could never have a serious relationship with any one.”
“Then why did you look so upset and walk out if you weren’t jealous?” Harry asked suspiciously.
Draco didn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t know,” he muttered resentfully.
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why would you care if we were kissing then?”
“I don’t care, Potter! Go back and continue if that’s what you want to do so badly!” Draco barked crossly.
“I don’t, actually. He only wanted me because I’m Harry sodding Potter,” Harry said, quite offended.
“That’s not cool,” said Draco, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why don’t we run down to the kitchen and get Dobby to whip up us a fed?” Harry suggested with a smile.
“Sounds like a plan, Potter.”