THE DBSK CHRONICLES
The DBSK Chronicles
Pairing: OT5
Rating: G-R
Genre: Crack, bandfic, everything under the sun
Summary: A short series of glimpses at our favorite boys going through every day life at the Dong Bang Shin Ki residence. Hilarity ensues, of course...
A/N: Gifs are not mine...
Mayhem
:::
“He’s going to kill us.”
“Shhh! We can fix this!”
“No, Yunho! He’s going to murder us! Chop us up into little pieces, sauté us in hot sauce and feed us to Vick!” Yoochun babbled, hands flailing around his face like a mad man. The short sleeved shirt he was wearing bunching and revealing his navel in the frenzy.
“Yah!” Yunho wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans, eyes glued to the cracked lens of Jaejoong’s camera. “Don’t say that!”
“I told you not to touch it!” Yoochun whimpered, mind already imagining all sorts of painful horrors soon to be part of his quickly approaching future. “Why did you touch it?!?!”
“You know why!” Yunho hissed, eyes still wide as he tried to figure out how to fix the camera before Jaejoong got back. “I don’t want pictures of my dick suddenly appearing on the internet because someone hacked his computer! It’s my dick, Yoochun!”
Yoochun bit into his lip, eyes narrowing. “Well it doesn’t have your fucking name on it! Who would know?”
“I WOULD KNOW!”
Yoochun's eyes suddenly widened, jaw dropping open. “Shit!” He clutched his hair, realizing something very important. “HE’S GOING TO THINK I BROKE IT! I’M THE FIRST SUSPECT! ME! WE ROOM TOGETHER! I’M GOING TO DIE!”
“Who’s dying?” Changmin shuffled in, spoon full of rice pudding as he stared curiously at his two hyperventilating hyungs.
He chewed his food enthusiastically, innocent eyes taking in their terrorized faces with a childlike curiosity.Then his eyes slowly fell to the camera in Yunho's trembling hands.
There was a crack in the lens…
A big crack in the lens…
A big crack in the lens that surely wasn’t there a few minutes ago…
His whole body went rigid, eyes widening into the size of saucers as he quickly accessed the situation. “Fuck no!"
And before Yunho or Yoochun could even say a word he was bolting out of the room, legs pounding against the wooden floors as he sought refuge in his room.
Fingers trembling as he locked the door, he sighed in relief. Feeling a growing sense of safety wrap itself around him now that he was a good distance away from the scene of the crime.
Yunho gulped, feeling incredibly alone. “We need to hide this.”
“W-Where?” Yoochun whimpered, head shaking from side to side. “He fiddles with that thing every day! He’s going to notice it’s gone the second he steps into the room!”
The sound of the front door slamming shut startled Yunho so completely he accidently dropped the camera again.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!” Yoochun gaped in horror as Yunho fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Hands shaking as he tried to access if there was any more damage done.
To his accursed luck, the crack had increased.
“I’m going to die…” he mumbled to himself, feeling numb. “….He’s going to kill me…”
Yoochun nodded furiously in agreement, falling to his feet beside Yunho and staring at the cracked lens.
“…That’s it…all over…” Yunho gazed unseeingly at the ceiling, reality of his situation sinking it. “….I can’t even think of an excuse to give….”
He sat up straight, face contorting in agony as he pulled at his hair. “I CAN’T EVEN THINK OF A GOOD EXCUSE!”
“Shut up!” Yoochun suddenly barked, ears straining as he listened. There was some movement in the kitchen he had picked up on in his highly attuned state. He sucked in his cheeks, eyes crossing when he remembered Changmin had run to his room. “….Oh god….”
He jumped to his feet and made a run for the window, pushing the glass to the side and lifting himself to the sill. Alarmed, Yunho dashed after him, grabbing the anxious man by the waist and pulling him back in before he succeeded in doing something stupid.
“ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!?”
“HE’S HERE!”
“…”
“….”
“We need to think fast.” Yunho gulped, adrenaline pumping through him like an electric current as he set Yoochun back down on his feet.
The shorter singer nodded vehemently. “We need a distraction...”
“…something that will keep his attention occupied while one of us stashes the evidence and calls for back up…”
Yunho nodded. “We need Heechul!”
Yoochun’s face lit up, seeing a stray bit of hope. “…Heechul! Of course!” Kicking the camera under his bed he hastily began to push Yunho towards the door. “Call Heechul!”
“-But we don’t have a plan!” Yunho blinked as his body moved. “What do I say?!?”
“Hell if I know,” Yoochun snapped, nerves already frayed. “I just know that I’m about to get very sick! VERY, VERY SICK!”
And with that he pushed Yunho out the door.
Yunho gulped.
Jaejoong was standing in the hall eating an apple.
“Uh…”
“Hey, Yunho.” Jaejoong greeted with a wave of his juicy fruit.
Yunho felt his stomach plummet. “Uh…h-hey, Joongie…haha….back so soon?”
The smaller man shrugged. “The business didn’t take as long as I expected. So I thought we could go out and hang…maybe go to the zoo. Kangin and Kibum said there’s going to be this really cool water show there. I wanted to take some pictures.”
Of all the fucking days Kangin could have had a brilliant idea. It had to be fucking this one…
“Uh…we c-can’t!” Yunho quickly stuttered, hands coming up in vehement protest. “Y-Yoochun is s-sick! He’s sick! He’s very, very, sick!”
“…But he was fine two hours ago.” Jaejoong frowned, apple falling away from his lips.
Yunho shook his head. “I don’t know…it must be something bad…he looks like he’s dying…”
Oh my god what the hell am I saying? God damn it….
Jaejoong’s face paled as he skittered towards him, pushing Yunho out of the way as he barreled into his room. The taller man was right behind him, holding his breath as he stepped inside and took in Yoochun’s curled up form on the bed.
“H-Hyung…” Yoochun coughed, panting and shivering as he pulled the blankets over him tighter.
“Yoochun-ah!” Jaejoong’s eyes widened in alarm. He turned his head to Yunho, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Wait…wait just a second, Yoochun-ah…I’m going to go grab the thermometer!”
Jaejoong sprinted out of the room, worry marring his face.
Once left alone, Yoochun glared up at Yunho. “…Fix it. Now.”
Yunho immediately fell to the floor and pulled the camera out from underneath the bed, tucking it under his shirt. “Going now!”
And then he ran out of there, phone slipping from his pocket as he charged towards the front door, slippers still on his feet as he exited. Hastily he dialed a familiar number, swallowing the urge to vomit as he bounded down the stairs.
“Hello?” Heechul’s voice picked up.
“I BROKE JAEJOONG’S CAMERA!”
“…”
“…”
Heechul let the phone fall from his ear and looked up at the sky, comprehension dawning on his pale features as his brain tried to quickly assemble a plan of action.
He had absolutely nothing. “Shit.”
Yunho tripped down the stairs.
Next Chronicle...