Game time: Wednesday late evening Astronomy Tower
Hermione took great care not to be seen as she left her room and headed for the remote and silent Astronomy tower. The hour was very late, but she was still unable to sleep. It had been that way since the events of Sunday evening, so she had taken to leaving the somewhat safety of her room in search of some peace of mind.
Climbing up the several flights of stairs Hermione started to feel less trapped. Since this nightmare had begun she had felt trapped all the time. Harry and Ron had tried to help her but they had no idea how to even begin. Really she couldn’t blame them as she had no idea how to help herself.
When she reached the top, she walked over to the window and looked out into the clear winter night. She liked being up here, the cold night air brushing her skin made her feel something other than the pain. The coldness numbed the pain to a more manageable degree. She climbed onto the stone window ledge and sat with her legs pulled up under her chin. Not so long ago you would ever have seen her sitting in what some would call such a dangerous place. A sudden movement in one direction or another meant either falling to the floor in the tower and bruising yourself or falling several floors down and breaking your neck. Hermione was sure that would never happen to her though as being such a talented witch she would have the sense to cast a spell and break her fall. It was for this reason she sat there with her wand gripped in one hand. Well that and you never knew when there would be another attack by Voldermort and his band of Death Eaters. Never trust a mad wizard.
Leaning her head back on the cool stone she wished she could sleep. Her mind and body craved it so much, but each time she closed her eyes the images that came into her mind robbed her of any rest and peace of mind. The first night it had been images of him with that look on his face as he told her he was going to kill her. Still she could see his wand pointing at her heart and shattering her dreams. The days since then hadn’t been any better either. She really thought she would die when she found out he had lied to her. He had told her he wasn’t ready to be intimate with her, yet a few days later he had sex with that pure-blooded raven haired bastard from his own house. Maybe he did it because they looked alike, Draco fancied himself so much he probley would have happier having sex with himself. Ha! If he could have he would have, maybe Moody should have turned him into a worm in there fourth year instead of a ferret and then it would have been possible. He would suit being intersexed. Try as she might it was the image of the two Slytherins together that she was unable to get out of her mind when she closed her eyes. So for now she had stopped closing her eyes.
Harry and Ron. Her best friends had so tried to help her. Harry would hold her for hours and let her sob in the small hope she would feel better. Ron had nearly got himself in serious trouble with Professor Snape when he had gone looking for Draco that first night. The night her world turned upside down forever. He still walked around looking as if he wanted to kill someone and for that she blamed herself. Loving someone she shouldn’t had hurt her best friends and for that she would never forgive herself.
She still wanted him though. She shouldn’t not after all he had done to her, but she did. She craved him and was sure it would drive her out of her mind given time. Hermione was no fool, even though she knew she affected him in some way, she knew she had lost him. That was if she had ever really had him in the first place. Her instincts were first class as a rule but with him she really must have failed the class. Falling in love with someone like him was foolish and wreak less and not like her at all. Whatever spell it was she wanted to break it but she couldn’t. No male had affected her since Victor until she had fallen for him. Now she wished she were like him and could just approach someone and have them make her feel something…alive…comfort…whatever…but just to feel something other than this pain which seemed to be consuming her a little more each day. Oh! She dreaded the daytime as it just seemed to bring her yet more misery. The dark of the night made her feel safer…if only she could sleep. Sometimes she wished she were not so close to Harry and Ron and then maybe she could…she frowned…she would never think of such a thing…like she said they were TOO close. But right now she wished there were someone…anyone. Even though deep within her soul she only wanted the one she couldn’t have.
Looking out beyond the grounds of Hogwarts Hermione had never felt so trapped and so utterly alone.