I wrote this on Saturday so come travel back in time with me ( Read more... )

Man I am so freaking confused with what happened on Monday night. You know the subject of my last entry. I am so confused. I know something happened...but I just don't know if that would be the right thing to say. I just don't get it. I mean part of me wonders if I am just that desparate for help? If I don't want to take medication that bad ( Read more... )

The journey has taken a leap foward.

Have you ever been baptized with the Holy Spirit?

I have.

And is it really strange? That I feel this way? I know I'm not alone, I know so many have been through the same thing and that they have pulled out of it. I realize this, and I hold on to it. And pray that one day I will wake from my nightmare that is myself ( Read more... )

I dont' know how many times I've stared that the number and wondered who will pick up on the other end. I wonder about their life and how its going, if they started helping with the crisis hotline because they tried to kill themselves and some how moved on from the voices, moved on from the pain, the darkness that seems to be preseant even in the ( Read more... )

"I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.
My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death. "

I slept in Lindsay's room for the last night. I don't know if I've slept like I have there all semester. She didn't get in till one something-I couldn't go to sleep before she got there. I just kept the TV on and sort of stared at the computer every now and then.

I don't really know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to not having a

You Are an Espresso
( Read more... )

God here's the thing ( Read more... )

Shortly after I finished my entry last night I basically lost it. But before I did luckily I called Lindsay.

She says the voices aren't my own.
I don't know if she's right, but I'm going to believe her.
It will help me stay sane.

I slept in her room last night-I'm sleeping there again tonight.