[SG1 Fic] Lost In A Kiss (2/2)
(For Part 1, go Here)
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Thirty minutes and eight songs later, I'm simultaneously disappointed and relieved. So far? Nothing. Don't get me wrong, there are some very nice songs on this CD, some of which are a bit sappy -- not that that's currently bothering me considering my atypical, ultra-sappy mood this afternoon -- but the closest was the title song where "that first kiss" had "my life beginning," and then "the world stopped spinning" and "now the magic of that moment is never ending." That can't be the song responsible for my dream, though, since I didn't recognize the rest of it, and I'm assuming The Song will smack me on the head when and if I finally hear it. Another song that really struck me was one with a man feeling lost out in "space," longing for life on Earth where "there's a woman who's wishing an ordinary man was sitting in the kitchen, drinking her coffee after loving her all night long" and where "there's a brown-eyed baby who's old enough now to tell me of the way she's needing a daddy and wondering when he's coming home." Strangely enough, while the song was about a singer who'd lost touch with his family because he was always on the road, I found myself empathizing with him, as a man always off on other planets with a beautiful wife and daughter at home who want to see me again as much as I want to see them.
And no, you don't have to guess who the 'beautiful woman' in that particular fantasy was.
Other than that, there've been some songs about utopia, a girl who left a diner, a man who refused to give up searching for his soul mate and was eventually rewarded for his search, a "wild life versus boring life" song, a ballad describing a lover as the "universe," and one that had me laughing at all the reasons the singer hates Chicago. On the bright side, with my mind now intently focused on the music and not on Janet's lips, I've actually gotten some work done, with only three minor interruptions to get her help understanding a term. Not that that's stopped her from watching me with that adorable little smile whenever she thinks I'm absorbed in the translation; my guess is that she's just relieved I've finally calmed down a bit and am acting more like myself now that the music's on. Oh, and she's probably waiting to see if my weird symptoms suddenly return, indicating I'd found The Song I'm looking for.
Yeah...great.
Okay, that "wild side" song has ended, meaning a new song's about to start...and suddenly my entire body freezes, my eyes glued to the tablet in my hands as I listen. Spanish guitars, a Latin beat, and...oh, God, this is it. This beat...I recognize this beat. It's all coming back to me now. This is what had been playing in her office last night and subsequently in my dream. It had caught my attention because I'd always loved the soft, sensuous sounds of Spanish guitars and Latin beats, a musical taste acquired during my digs in Mexico and the Yucatan. Well, now I know why my subconscious mind had been paying attention to the song, and...uh oh, here come the lyrics.
What am I doing here
Staring at you through these empty eyes
And when did I disappear
And how did I lose this piece of time
I remember your lips pressed against mine
All of a sudden, I was lost...
Without warning, my cheeks flare and I cough once to cover my choke of embarrassment. Calm down, Jackson. That's an order. Whatever you do, don't draw Janet's attention from the notes you took on the last two tablets and get her listening to the song. Just play it cool and she'll never notice that your face has suddenly morphed into an overgrown tomato, betraying that your...ahem...dream and obsession are matching these words perfectly.
Lost in a kiss
I could feel my mind drift
Off the edge of forever
My heart slips away
To a beautiful place
That I can't resist
Oh, I was lost in a kiss
I'm going to kill Mark Wills. This is all his fault. I wasted a whole day fighting this damned dream about a kiss and making a complete and utter fool of myself in front of that dream's other occupant because he implanted these words in my head with no regard for gaining my permission to do so first.
Lost in a kiss, my foot.
Whatever you've done to me
Is nothing like I've felt before
Right now I can barely breathe
You're everything I'm living for
Did you just say something? Baby, I'm sorry
There for a moment I was lost...
It's a conspiracy. Jack O'Neill had to remind me that Janet Fraiser was a single, attractive woman; Janet Fraiser had to play this song right when I walked into her office last night; and Mark Wills...well, he had to speak to me in this song and remind me just how long it's been since I've experienced a great, mind-blowing kiss with a single, attractive woman.
I am so going to kill them all...but not until after I've gotten that kiss first, damn it.
Lost in a kiss
I could feel my mind drift
Off the edge of forever
My heart slips away
To a beautiful place
That I can't resist
Oh, I was lost in a kiss
Wait, what am I thinking? I'm losing it here. I can't kiss her; after all, that was a fantasy, i.e. one time only. Tomorrow I'll be fine. These crazy emotions for Janet will be gone tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. This yearning for her will go away...tomorrow. Right, tomorrow. All I need to do is make it through today...I can do that. Really, I can.
There's so many places yet to discover
Open your arms and let's get lost...
Lost in a kiss
Feel our minds drift
Off the edge of forever
My heart slips away
To a beautiful place
That I can't resist
I want to get lost in a kiss
Oh, who the hell am I trying to kid? I'll never survive today in one piece, not with Janet Fraiser sitting across the table from me, chewing on the end of her pen with those perfect, luscious lips of hers and looking so darned kissable. I'm fighting a losing battle here. All I want to do is grab her, pull her body to mine, and kiss her so intensely that we'll never know what hit us. Why am I still trying to fight it? It's hopeless. I've already lost. I need to kiss this woman, now; that is the only possible cure for this infatuation with her. I need to know if kissing Janet Fraiser is really as good as my imagination thinks it is. It's that simple. Anything else will make me die a miserable death, starving for a single taste of this woman's kiss. If the kiss doesn't match up to the one in my dream, voila, no more obsession. If it does, though...well, we'll worry about that bridge when we get to it.
So now that I've finally given up my feeble fight and embraced the inevitable, I just need to make it happen.
I want to get lost in your kiss....
Watch out, world. I'm a man on a mission.
The song is over, but I'm no longer listening to the CD. My mind is elsewhere.
So I'm going to kiss her; that's a given. I refuse to leave until I've gotten my kiss. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? She thinks I'm insane and locks me up in the padded room again? Hell, she already thinks I'm insane after the way I've been acting all day. What more do I have to lose? She slaps me, kicks me out, never speaks to me again, convinces General Hammond to fire me for taking advantage of our friendship and sexually harassing her, ruins my reputation, and makes me the laughing stock of the SGC? Well...that could be bad. Very bad, actually, and she'd be well within her rights to do it. Not only would it be a nightmare, but it would be an awful kiss to remember Janet Fraiser by. I'd never live it down, and chances are I'd have the bruise on my cheek for days to attest to my pitiful failure. Bad idea.
Well, then, we just can't let that happen, can we? And besides, the alternative -- a really great kiss, one that neither of us will ever forget, one that leads to other things between us, one that seals our fate forever, complete with wedding bells and the promise that the world is ours for the taking -- is such a nicer, more appealing alternative.
Now, to make that really great kiss happen.
So...how does one successfully lead into a kiss with a woman you've been friends with for years? It's not the easiest thing in the world to do, not if you want to maintain your friendship with her afterwards, which I most definitely do. This must be planned and executed carefully with no possibility of failure.
The answer is simple: I must seduce Dr. Janet Fraiser and get her to want this kiss before I lose the remainder of my dwindling restraint and do something we both regret.
Heaven help me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear Mr. Wills singing about a young boy writing a message to his deceased mother on a balloon and releasing it into the air, hoping she'll get it...no, that's a nice idea but I don't think a balloon will help me out here, Mr. Wills. I'll pass it on to Shifu if I ever see him again, though; he might like trying that. So how does one typically lead into a kiss? A date. Candlelit dinner in a dark corner booth at a fancy restaurant. Wine and roses. Maybe some dancing. Nice walk under a starry sky while discussing matters of the heart. Gentle smiles and touches. Deep looks in each other's eyes. Then, to sum up the perfect evening, a tender kiss.
Ooh...I like that idea. I like it a lot. I could go for that very easily. There's just one problem with it: it'll take too long and requires too much effort. I need that kiss soon, not two weeks from now by which time I may very well be dead from a lack of kissing. I'll file it away for future reference, though. Next?
Lean over the table, grab her, and kiss her so hard she won't live to see tomorrow.
Nah, that'll just get the face-slapped-and-fired-from-the-SGC nightmare well underway. Next?
Grab a few bottles of wine and get her drunk so she doesn't resist.
Nah, she'll never have a drink unless I have a drink, and I...um...don't have a good track record with drinking, meaning I'd be drunk long before her. Besides, if I was drunk, I'd never remember the kiss in the morning, and believe me, I want to remember this kiss if it lives up to all my anticipation. Hell, I don't even think I need the alcohol to loosen my defenses; right now I think I'm crazy enough to do it by myself. And I don't want the alcohol to strip us of too many inhibitions and accidentally result in sex neither of us wants nor is ready for; I just want one kiss from her. Next?
Turn off the lights, kiss her, quickly turn the lights back on, and pretend nothing happened. When she asks, deny all knowledge of it. Make her think she imagined it.
Nah, she's too smart to fall for that. Next?
Tell her you're testing a new method of cleaning powdered sugar from someone else's lips.
I snort. Yeah, good one. Next?
Walk toward her, trip, fall into her lap, and 'accidentally' kiss her in the process.
Nah, my aim's not good enough to manage that one. Next?
Faint and require mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Sorry, can't faint on cue. Next?
Pretend you think she's fainted and try to give her mouth-to-mouth.
Where am I getting these ideas from? Next?
Rent a sappy movie, stick it in the VCR, wrap your arm around her, pull her close, and let your lips do the rest. Tell her you're auditioning for "Romeo and Juliet" and you'd like to practice on the perfect Juliet. Sing her a love song. Insist you saw leftover mistletoe from the holidays hanging above her head. Tell her you're on Whose Line Is It Anyway? and your Party Quirk was a madman kissing everyone in sight. Woo her with poetry: 'Your hair glistens in the sun like rubies, your eyes are like a mountain at dusk, your skin is as soft as the finest of rose petals....' Tell her you're doing research because the Yodel-ay-ee-hoo tribe insists anyone proposing a treaty with them must knock the socks off their princess with the world's greatest kiss before they'll begin negotiations. Tell her you're infected with a rare virus undetectable by her medical equipment and will die if you aren't kissed within the next three minutes. Tell her you've always wanted to try two-person spin the bottle. Tell her it was a dare from Jack and Sam. Tell her you hit your head in the shower this morning and now you're channeling an amorous Sean Connery. Make a deal with Cupid and agree to play matchmaker around the SGC for the next year if he gives you this one kiss.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...Jack and Sam would never forgive me.
I'm running out of ideas and, therefore, I'm starting to panic. There has to be a way, one that both shows her the respect she deserves and doesn't make me feel like I'm forcing myself on her because I'm a wimp. Janet Fraiser is a dear friend. She's not going to disown me in my time of need, right? Right? She's a healer by profession; she wants to fix problems, both the physical and the mental.
So ask her, you fool.
Ask her? For a kiss? She'll think I'm nuts.
You are nuts.
...Oh. Right.
Hmm.
The CD's just ended...and I think I have an idea. It may not be the most romantic lead-in imaginable, but it's fast, it's considerate, it plays on her need to fix problems, and...you know, this might actually work. I just need to get her to agree to the kiss and I'll let my mouth do the rest, hoping Sha'uri had been telling the truth all those times she said I was a great kisser. I only have one shot at this, though. If I fail...misery, humiliation, and a bleak future filled with sneers and perpetual job-hunting. If I succeed, though...well, I'll either be instantly cured of this ailment by finding fantasy blew reality way out of proportion...or I won't. The former would be good, but the latter...well, even that's probably better than what I'm suffering from now. Maybe. Hopefully.
Here goes nothing...and here goes everything.
I set down the tablet I've been staring at the past 15 minutes without seeing and rise to my feet, slowly heading around the table toward the CD player behind her. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Janet lower the notes and watch me as I near her.
"So was your mystery song on this CD?" she asks.
I grin as I step behind her, my face turned away to examine the CD player. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was on here."
She sets the paper on the table and turns in her seat to look back at me. "So...?"
So there's no way in hell I'm just going to tell you what the song was, woman. "So?"
"Care to share?"
My grin grows even craftier, but still I refuse to look back at her. I think I've found the buttons I'm looking for...but Janet doesn't need to know that. "How do you skip tracks on this thing?"
"See the button with the two arrows pointing right...?" My eyes narrow and I lean toward the CD player...oh, good, this little act of ignorance is working. "Never mind, I'll just show you."
It's a good thing she can't see my smile right now or else she'd be running out of the room screaming at my transformation. Little does Janet know that she's just walked into my trap head-on without a clue of what's waiting for her on the other side.
She stands and joins me in front of the CD player, and I take half a step backwards to give her enough room to lift her hand...but I am not moving any more than this. Our shoulders are nearly touching...I can feel the heat and electricity jumping between us. I'm pretty sure she senses it as well because she's hesitating, staring at my hand where I'd kept it poised by the CD player's control panel. Now that she's this close to me, I can smell the faint, intoxicating, floral scent of her perfume, and now she's lifting her right hand to the button....
"What number?" she asks, her voice low. She's clearly surprised at how close I'm standing to her, yet it can't be making her nervous or uncomfortable since she's not retreating from me, and...ooh, Janet, you did that on purpose, didn't you? Brushing your fingers with mine? Well, I felt a thrill pass through me, even if you didn't. I really, really liked that...but boy, you've been asking for trouble today.
Damn, I can't believe I'm doing this.
"Nine," I whisper in her ear, and I feel her hand tremble where I'm still touching it. She presses the button to the indicated track, and there it is again, the sensuous Spanish guitars leading into that irresistible beat.
I finally turn my head toward her, my hand now trailing a feather-light line down her fingers toward her wrist. She gasps at the sensation and turns her eyes toward mine. She's searching for an explanation for my sudden, inexplicable shift in behavior; I, in turn, am searching for her permission to carry on. I see her swallow and, when she speaks, her words are so soft I barely hear them. "Daniel, what are you doing?"
Isn't it obvious? I'm falling madly in love with you.
"I know this is going to sound strange, Janet, but...will you let me try something?"
Her lips part, her eyes still glued to mine. I think this subtle seduction may be working, although it may still only be wishful thinking on my part...oh, I hope it's more than that. "What?"
"Test a theory."
She tilts her head, an eyebrow inching upward as she ponders my words. "Does this have something to do with that dream again?"
I lick my lips as my fingers continue teasing her hand. "Yeah."
She nods faintly. "And...if I agree, will it help solve your problem?"
"Oh, I hope so."
She's still staring at me...and, hoo boy, now it's her turn to lick her lips. I'm way past the point of no return here. The train's at the cliff, so please hurry and make your decision before it takes that plunge, Janet. Will you help me out or not? "Well, I said I'd help you if I could, so...."
My heart skips a beat. I...like the sound of that. "So."
"...Okay."
My head begins inching toward hers, our eyes still locked. "You won't get mad, no matter what I do?"
She's backing up toward the nearest wall and, yes, I'm following her like a little lost puppy who's just found its beloved owner and is determined never to let said owner get away again. "I won't get mad."
My hand has now left hers and is lifting toward her face. "Promise?"
She nods slowly. "I promise."
"You won't send me to a padded room."
"No padded rooms."
"Good." And with that, my eyes slide shut, my hand cups her face, and....
Oh. My. God.
This is...this is...this is absolutely incredible. My heart is pounding. Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach. Every nerve in my body has relocated itself to any place where my skin is touching hers. My fingers are caressing her cheek. And my lips...they're brushing hers ever so gently, soothing them and teasing them and begging entrance to a place that they know all too well will further heighten this glorious experience. At first I'd felt her stiffen at the contact, but now...oh, God, now she's overcome her shock and is responding, her lips parting for mine and doing the same to me that I'd just done to her.
I am kissing Janet Fraiser...and Janet Fraiser is kissing me back.
The kiss quickly shifts from gentle brushing to exploring, then to tasting, to giving and taking, and suddenly to playful battling as it grows increasingly heated and frenzied. I'm falling and she's falling right beside me, willingly, into a pool filled with pure pleasure, with so much wonder, and with so many beautiful riches that I'll never be able to find my way out again. Nothing else exists anymore except me, Janet, her mouth, her taste on my tongue, the softness of her lips against mine, and the goal of satiating this hunger deep in my soul. And believe me, right now I'm going to take every last drop of fulfillment from this as I possibly can, all the while hopefully giving her the same that she's giving me in return.
I am totally and completely lost in this kiss...and I never, ever want to be found again.
Sadly, though, before I know it, seconds -- minutes? -- have passed, and I'm gasping for air as we suddenly pull apart and our eyes fly open, locking once again. Whoa. Oxygen deprivation...I need to breathe. I can not suffocate right now. Hell, no, there's no way I'm going to let myself die now that I've just discovered one of the greatest sources of pleasure known to man. I'm going to live, if for no other reason than so that I can experience that again...and again...and again, until stars fall, mountains sink into the seas, and the sands of time drift off into the sunset on a gentle breeze. If that's not a good reason to continue living, I don't know what is.
Expect Daniel Jackson to live a long and healthy life, folks.
My eyes slowly focus on Janet's face as I float back to Earth, her cheeks flushed, her eyes half closed and darkened and hazy, her lips swollen and moist and parted and so inviting that I'm barely able to restrain the urge to put the last minute on slow-motion instant replay. Sadly, I can't do that again quite yet, at least not until I hear her reaction to what just happened from her own lips. Until then, though, please excuse my smugness at the knowledge that if I do for some reason die right now against my will, I will die the happiest, most satisfied, and thoroughly kissed man on Earth.
Not surprisingly, it takes Janet even longer to float back to Earth than it took me, most likely because this was a new experience for her while I'd already been forewarned of what to expect in that beautiful, prophetic dream last night. I know she's getting close to touching down when she swallows and slowly licks her lips again, tasting the remnants of our recent contact. After a moment, she takes a deep breath, then releases it in a long, shuddering sigh.
"So...?" she starts.
"So," I reply, somewhat nervous to hear what her verbal reaction will be...but also enjoying this rare sense of male pride at knowing how effectively my recent actions have affected her.
"That was your dream."
I nod once. "That was my dream."
She, too, nods slowly, as if that was the answer she'd expected. "Ah. I see. So...?"
"So."
"That's why we haven't gotten much work done today."
That's exactly why we haven't gotten much work done today. "Yeah."
She nods again. "Ah. So...?"
"So."
"Was there more to your dream than that?"
I think for a moment, then shake my head...and remind me again, when had my hand snaked around her waist like this? "No, I think that pretty well covers it."
"Ah, I see. So...?"
"So."
"Are you cured?"
I can feel the beginnings of a smile forming on my lips, and...when had I pinned her to the wall next to the fireplace? When had I pressed my body so close to hers that I can feel the heat radiating from her? "Not yet." No, now, after only one taste, my greatest fear has been realized: I'm forevermore addicted.
"Ah," she says, and...is she staring at my lips? I believe she is. "So...?"
"So."
"How did it compare?"
Compare? The dream kiss and the reality kiss? "It didn't."
Janet arches an eyebrow at me in something I can only interpret as being curious, flirting, and highly seductive. "It didn't?"
I shake my head again. "No."
Up goes the eyebrow even further. "Worse?"
"...No." Tell me, Janet, does 'well exceeded my wildest expectations' answer your question?
"...Ah. I see." Now a smile has begun toying on her lips, those irresistible lips. Other than her brief moment of staring at my mouth, I don't think we've broken eye contact since our lips parted...I'm not even sure either of us have blinked since our lips parted. "So...?"
"So."
"Think you'll have the same dream again tonight?"
We are now treading on dangerous ground here...and I take no further responsibility for anything that happens while we're here. "I guarantee it."
"That...could be a problem."
"You have no idea." Wow, I didn't know my voice could sound that... sexy. Has this new guy always been trapped inside me like this?
Janet eyes me...oh, yeah, she heard the new tone in my voice, too. "We'll have to find a way to cure that."
My grin is taking on that wily, devious look again. You know, I might just invite this new guy to stick around awhile longer. I kind of like him...and something's telling me Janet's liking this new guy as much as I am. "Who said I want to be cured?"
"...Oh. Right."
I nod...and tell me, when had her hand lifted to my neck and begun gently kneading it like this? "Right."
"So...?"
"So."
"You dragged me into this only to find your theory didn't work."
I'm pretty sure my grin has broadened another notch. "Yup."
"Ah. So in other words, you've made this my problem now, not just yours."
Oh, you'd better believe it, woman. I may still be blaming this entire fiasco on you, on Jack O'Neill, and on Mark Wills, but I've now embraced the problem with open arms and am actually considering making both Jack and Mr. Wills my best men at the wedding. And no, there's no need to ask who the bride will be. "Yup."
She nods again. "Ah. Thank you. So...?"
"So."
"You'd be willing to oblige if I asked you to put this song on repeat for awhile."
Have I mentioned yet that my smile now puts the Cheshire Cat in Wonderland to shame? "Yup."
Her eyes follow my left hand as it pulls away from her waist and complies with her request, 'Repeat' being one of the buttons I'd located earlier. Once my hand has returned to its original position, she returns her eyes to mine, still smiling oh-so-seductively at me. "Ah. Thank you. So...?"
"So."
"You won't be upset if I tell you I'm moving into your dreams permanently."
So...when had her other hand grabbed onto my shirt to prevent me from going anywhere? Not, of course, that she has any reason to worry about that happening anytime soon. "No."
She nods again, and...ooh, Janet, please keep running your fingers down my chest like that. Please? Oh, good, you plan to. Thank you. "Ah. Good. So...?"
"So."
"You won't be upset if I tell you I'm pulling you into my dreams from now on, too."
The train has now crashed at the base of the cliff, never to be found or reconstructed again. "No."
She nods, and...tell me again, when had my face gotten so close to hers that I can feel her warm breath graze my cheek? "Ah...good. So...?"
"So."
"You won't be upset if I do this, either."
And with that, using the hand that's latched onto my shirt, Janet draws my head down toward hers, her eyes shining, her lips turned upward in a seductive smile, and as the song comes to a close once again yet with no fear of it ending anytime soon....
I want to get lost in your kiss....
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So, have you ever had one of those dreams? You know, the kind that's so vivid, so intense, and so emotional that when you wake up you're sure your life will never be the same again?
I have.
~Fin~