All The Things We Do [2/2]
Title: All The Things We Do [2/2]
Pairing: Puck/Rachel
Summary: She smiles back, and he's wondering what the rules are for her against sleeping with students' parents. Not that it's a given that she wants to, but he's a curious guy and he thinks about these things. For
morythemonster.
Word Count: 17,300
Disclaimer: Don't own.
The next time he sees her is Wednesday when he's picking Charlie up after choir practice. He's in the pick up zone at the school and Rachel's waiting with all the students until their parents arrive. He's pretty sure she doesn't even notice him until Charlie picks her backpack up off the floor and says goodbye. Then, yeah, he notices the way Rachel's eyes scan around for him. She obviously can't wave or whatever, but they look at each other and he gives her a smile, 'cause that's not a thing any of these kids will read into too much.
Charlie gets into his car and puts her backpack on the floor by her feet, buckles her seatbelt and doesn't say a word, so he's gotta focus on what's wrong with her. He knows her and she wouldn't just not say anything unless something was going on that was making her moody.
"What's wrong?"
"Ms. Berry gave the solo to Taylor. She's not even good."
He has no idea what solo she's talking about, but she's obviously upset about, which is actually a bit surprising, considering it took her a week and a half after they talked about it to even agree to 'try' choir. Seeing as she told him and Santana that she'd do it for a bit without any promise she'd stay involved, her getting passed over for a solo probably isn't helping her make the decision to commit. But he's a bit proud of her for caring enough to be upset when she doesn't get the thing she wanted. Last he asked she said choir was just okay and wouldn't give him much more info than that.
He's got her calmed down and feeling okay about it by the time they get to his place. Wednesdays, if he's not working, he usually makes them dinner and she hangs out a while then he takes her home. Apparently there wasn't a try out for the solo or anything, and Taylor has been in the choir since last year. So Puck explains that it's not any sort of playing favourites and Charlie didn't get left out, really, she just didn't make it clear a solo is something she wants. Hell, he had no idea she was talking this that seriously. He's happy to hear it and he tells her that. And he mentions that if she wants a solo she's going to have to practice more and let Ms. Berry know she wants to be featured.
So, crisis averted, but when Rachel texts him later and asks how he's doing, he thinks two things. One, he's sort of appreciative that she sorted out he was spending time with Charlie and didn't interrupt that, and two, he doesn't know where the line is indicating what he can tell her about Charlie and what he shouldn't. Like, he doesn't want to sell Charlie out and tell Rachel she was upset about the solo. It's not his place to interfere, and he thinks it's pretty important that Charlie learn these lessons on her own or with his and Santana's help. If Rachel starts treating her differently 'cause she's got him in her ear telling her how to do things, that's not fair to anyone.
Then he's thinking he wants to see her but has no idea when that might happen.
She mentions something about the weekend, but he's got Charlie then, too.
Then this thing happens and Rachel says, 'Why don't I come over now?', and yeah, it's just really nice to know she wants him badly enough to come over at 9:00 on a Wednesday night when she has to work the next day.
… … …
The way she texts is like, ridiculous. By that he means she sends three messages for each of his one. And they're not usually brief, either. But he likes it and he doesn't care if she goes into detail about her day or her dinner or the show she watches that she thinks he might enjoy, too. She's pretty intense, he's learning, though he sort of picked up on that through things Charlie said.
He doesn't even find it annoying when she does things like send him :*, which is actually a first for him, because usually that's the number one indication that a woman is getting a bit too comfortable, and by that he means too invested in the thing. With Rachel he really thinks she just wants to kiss him, and yeah, he feels the same way. Fuck, the other day they spent like an hour just making out on his couch before he finally decided he wanted to see her tits and pushed her shirt up and off.
He almost blurts it out to Santana when she's being a bit of an asshole about something and he responds in the way a normal person would - by not taking her bullshit - and she makes a comment about how he's only ever this much of a grizzly bear when he isn't getting laid. Instead he just asks her what her excuse is for being a raging bitch, then they're both laughing and this is why they're such good friends, really.
He calls Rachel when he gets home and she's already in bed, so that's a good visual, and she gets a bit shy when he tells her so and he can practically see the pink on her cheeks.
… … ...
He's gotta work at 6:00 am and she spent last night in his bed, and yeah, waking up with her is pretty fucking fantastic. And honestly, the way she looks at him when he's got his cargo pants on, his navy blue department tee shirt tucked in like it's supposed to be, and he's fastening his watch? Damn. She looks like she's about to have an orgasm. Seriously. He's seen it and he knows what it looks like.
"What?" he asks, and she goes back to buttoning her shirt. She doesn't answer and he knows she's not going to. So yeah, he walks over. And yeah, he starts unbuttoning her shirt from the bottom up just as she's fastening the last one at her chest.
"Noah," she sort of laughs. "Stop."
"You were staring."
She puts a hand on her hip and he buttons the button again. He really does like standing close to her like this, looking at her from here. "I think you look…" He ticks his brow up and she rolls her eyes, but sets her hands on his biceps. "Really sexy."
"That right?" he asks smugly.
"Oh, be quiet," Rachel tells him, and tries to pull away, but he laughs and keeps his hands on her hips. "You know exactly how good you look in your work clothes."
"What makes you say that?"
She just looks up at him like he's stupid. "I seem to remember your comments at my school that day."
Oh yeah. That.
"Well," he tells her, then kisses right next to her ear and slides his hand around to the small of her back, "I've never seen you in anything I didn't immediately want to get you out of, so. You know."
Her hand is directly on his ass and she absolutely moans and presses her hips against him.
He's gotta get to work, much as he wants to pull up her skirt and lift her onto the dresser behind her.
… … …
He thinks she's a hell of a lot more worried about being seen with him than he is about being seen with her. Which makes sense, probably, even though he is pretty insistent that it'd be fucked up of the school to forbid teachers from having personal relationships with students' teachers. He hasn't said that to her or anything, because they haven't talked about it. Mostly, he thinks, because she doesn't want to admit that's what's got her being so careful.
And look, it's not as though he wants to wine and dine her or take her on extravagant dates or whatever, but he wants to spend time with her and do something other than fuck. Yeah, he's a bit surprised, too. All he's saying is it'd be nice if he could meet her for coffee or take her to dinner. Or hell, she was talking about this movie she wants to see and apparently couldn't find anyone to go with. He isn't interested in it in the slightest, but he'd go with her if he thought she'd be okay with that.
She texts him asking if he wants to do something after she's through working for the day, and when he asks what she has in mind she suggests bringing a bottle of champagne to his place. He's not about to tell her he doesn't want to, but he's finishing up a crazy shift and he has this thought that it'd be really fucking great to go out to this bar he likes and have a drink with her there. Then come home and get into bed with her, fall into a great post-orgasm sleep and not set an alarm tomorrow morning.
He's not the kind of guy who's not gonna just say what he wants, so he replies with his idea and she calls him, which, whatever, he thinks might mean bad news. Because if she were into it she'd just say yes and ask him if he wanted to meet there or go together.
"I'm just trying to be discreet," she says, and honestly she sounds like she's working pretty fucking hard to believe that herself.
"Why's that?"
She's quiet for a second, like she didn't think he'd question her on it. "Because I'm recognizable and your daughter goes to my school."
"So?"
"So she's also in my choir and I can't have people thinking…"
"Thinking you actually have a life."
Okay, so that's the shittiest thing he could have said, probably, and he already feels like a bit of a dick for it.
"That's not at all what I'm saying," she almost snaps, and yeah, he deserves it. "The school isn't a dating service, Noah. I'm not going to go around with you or anyone else until I can defend it as something solid and serious." Uh. "Not that I'm with anyone else."
Glad she cleared that up, 'cause yeah, that's what he was feeling most uneasy about.
And she's not done, apparently, because she keeps on talking.
"Dating students' parents isn't against the rules, but I won't give people even the opportunity to say I'm taking advantage of the fact that…"
"Okay," he says, interrupting, which is shitty of him and he knows it. But really, she's right, or at least he understands what she's saying and why she feels the way she feels. "I get it. I'm sorry."
She must be able to tell when he's genuinely apologizing, because she says, "Okay. Thank you."
So yeah, she comes over with that bottle she mentioned and a pint of ice cream and watches a hockey game with him. She wakes him up with a little kiss when he falls asleep on the sofa next to her, and she doesn't stay over 'cause she says she doesn't want to disturb him in the morning when she has to get up and go to work.
… … …
They do go to a movie together, because it's a late showing of a film that's been out a while, in a different part of town and there literally only four other people in the place.
So yeah, he mentions something in her ear about how it's kind of hot to sneak around, and she grips the armrest between them a bit too tightly and they actually end up leaving before the movie's over, go to his house and get naked in the kitchen, so yeah. He's fine with it.
… … …
Rachel's place is somehow not at all what he'd expected it to be. Maybe it's where she works or that she apparently has 'expensive taste', or that her clothes are fairly conservative or whatever, but he expected a condo or apartment with really big, old furniture or something. Something like you'd see on TV when they want to show how rich someone is. Dark walls and wood and paintings on the walls.
But Rachel lives in a pretty new subdivision, in a house that is probably a bit big for her, considering she lives alone. It's nice, open plan with granite countertops and a big grey sofa, a fireplace…All the things he'd expect to see in a house in this subdivision. Her lawn is landscaped and she's got a two car garage. The way it's decorated reminds him a bit of Santana's place, only the furniture is lighter in colour and Rachel doesn't have a dark grey accent wall in her bedroom or anything like Santana does. It's contemporary without being weird. And he can tell she's comfortable in her home by the way she answers the door barefoot, wearing leggings and this wrap sweater thing that falls off her shoulder a bit when she's gesturing for him to come inside.
She's got beer in her fridge and offers him one, says she's ordered pizza because she's hungry and didn't feel like cooking, and honestly, the way she sits down on the sofa with one leg tucked under her and her body angled towards him…She's just really sexy and she seems more relaxed here than she has since he met her.
He plays with the silver bracelet she's always wearing as they talk and wait for their food. She watches him doing it for a few seconds, but he can't tell if that means she likes it, or if she just doesn't want to look at him as she tells him about how she thinks a couple of the other teachers are really starting to dislike her because she doesn't agree with the punitive way in which they handle their students.
"Maybe I shouldn't be talking about work," she says, a bit panicky. "Your daughter goes to my school and…I'd hate to colour your opinion."
Puck thinks that's sort of bullshit. He also doesn't like the idea of like, not being able to talk to her about this huge part of her life. It seems pretty limiting. And these are things he wouldn't have given a shit about when he was younger, but at this point in his life he's not looking for small talk and a bunch of sex, you know? He likes Rachel, likes hearing her talk and wants to get to know her.
"I'm sure I can handle it," he tells her, because he doesn't want to tell her all that. "And you're not naming names."
She nods a bit, sips her beer. "I like my job and I like the school, I just…My personal goal is to be the director of the arts programme, and it's important that my colleagues like me."
She's pretty vulnerable, and he really does get the impression - from this and from her talking about her friend Kurt - that she's got this serious worry about people not liking her. As if that's somehow all her fault and not at all theirs. Like, yeah, there are things that you can do to make people like you, but it's not all your responsibility. And if you change yourself to make people like you, then what the fuck are you left with, you know?
These are the things you think about when your kid's eight and comes home crying because her 'best friend' picked someone else to go to the movies with or whatever. Honestly, you never would have heard him talking like this before Charlie.
When he says something about it, she laughs softly and weaves her fingers together with his. "You're very smart." He scoffs a bit and shakes his head. "Stop it. You are."
He doesn't tell her that he's just some dumb firefighter, but that's sometimes how he feels. Partly because the only reason he became a firefighter is because he couldn't cut it in college and it was something he could train for and make a decent amount of money without a degree. He's good at it and he loves it, but he didn't realize either of those things until after he'd started training.
She's got some black and white pictures in black frames on the walls, and he looks at them while she gets plates and stuff after the pizza comes. There're a couple with friends, he figures, 'cause he sees Tina and Mercedes in the photos. And one of her and two older men. And there's one of her and a group of people and she's standing next to this tall guy, her arm around him and her other hand on his stomach. It takes him about three seconds to notice the diamond ring on her finger. He can't figure out why she'd have a picture like this in her house, but she looks great in it and the rest of her friends do, too.
She catches him looking, then quietly asks if he wants another beer, so he looks away and joins her in the kitchen. He's not trying to make her uncomfortable, but apparently he has.
"I was engaged," she tells him, her back to him, then goes to sit down at her table with her plate and bottle of beer.
He sits down across from her and asks, "What happened? Who'd be crazy enough to break up with you?"
He immediately knows he's said something really wrong, because she gets this painfully sad look on her face and sets her hands on the table. Fuck.
"He died."
Puck has felt like an asshole more in his life than probably anyone else you'll ever meet. But he's never run his mouth quite like this and said something so fucking stupid. She's obviously hurt and he doesn't blame her. He has no idea when all this happened, except she looks younger in that photograph so he figures it's been at least a few years. But he doesn't think you get over losing someone you were planning on being with forever. He just can't see that being something you just move past.
"I'm sorry," he says, though his voice is a bit stuck in his throat. "I didn't mean…"
"It's okay," Rachel says, and puts on a smile he can tell isn't quite real. "You didn't know." He lets out a breath and Rachel takes a small bite of her pizza. "I figured it would come up eventually. I just never quite know when to... Sorry you were kind of ambushed with the photo and…"
"It's fine." He means that. It makes so much sense now. She's probably got more pictures around, too, so he's sort of glad he knows the story and doesn't have to wonder about it. "Seriously, it's not my business."
Rachel tilts her head at him. "It is, Noah."
He doesn't try to insist any harder that it isn't. If she's making it his business, then he'll accept that. These things keep happening that prove this could be going somewhere, and he's not going to let something like this get in the way of that. Everyone's got a past, and it's no difference to him if she was engaged or married before, just like it wouldn't be any difference if she'd never dated anyone else in her life. She knows about his past with Santana, and he's sure they'll get around to talking about other relationships, too, but these seem to be the big ones, the significant ones, and fuck, he's a bit relieved that they're getting all the heavy things out in the open this early.
She tells him more about her fiancé and how he died. They were together for most of high school and got engaged very young, but had no plans to get married right away, but they loved each other and thought they'd get there eventually. He was in school to become a teacher, too. Apparently he was a great football player and wanted to coach and teach PE. Puck's not about to say it, but there's something about the fact that it sounds like Rachel and this Finn guy were always together and did all the same things that just…That's not the relationship he wants, and he doesn't actually think that's the relationship she wants, either. He might not know her as well as Finn did - at the time when they dated at least - but Puck feels like she's pretty independent, and he knows for a fact he would have gotten uninterested real fucking quick if she'd like glued herself to his side the minute they slept together.
He doesn't want to ask if she thinks she'd be married to Finn now if he hadn't died, but he's sure as shit thinking about it. He's not one of these people who thinks there's only one person out there for everyone, and he's really not bothered by the fact that she was once so in love with someone else that she almost made that kind of commitment.
She seems surprised when he says something along those lines.
"Really?" she asks, then sort of laughs at herself. "I just mean…It's been a problem for other guys, and…"
"I'm not other guys," he says, and it's not a line, he's mostly saying it like... Fuck, he thinks he's a pretty decent person most of the time.
But Rachel smiles, looks down at her lap and says, "No you're not," in this way that, swear to god, makes him want to take off her clothes right fucking now.
… … …
Charlie slams the car door shut and gives him a mean fucking glare that's all Santana, and the thing is, he used to see this look and wonder what he did wrong. Now he just sees it and hopes his daughter isn't going to say something shitty that'll make him have to discipline her. He and Santana aren't particularly strict parents, but they don't want to raise a shitty kid who says mean things and never gets called on it.
"Apparently Ms. Berry knows mom's a lesbian," she says, and he really wants to get home and get started on dinner, but she hasn't fastened her seatbelt yet.
"What?"
"She like, cornered me after choir and said that her dads are gay and if I ever needed someone to talk to and…God, she's so annoying. Teachers always think I want to like, be friends with them."
He's not gonna lie, he sort of wishes Rachel hadn't said anything. Partly because now Santana's gonna march in there and ask where Rachel gets off talking to Charlie about it, and it's gonna come out that he told her, and then it's gonna come out that he's sleeping with her. Not ideal. He'd like to tell Santana himself, without her threatening bodily harm to Rachel in order to get the information.
And telling Charlie's a whole other issue. He hasn't even brought that up with Rachel, but they can only do this thing for so long without his daughter finding out. She's smart, and she's not exactly a baby. She's old enough to piece things together, and he thought she was gonna start asking a shitload of questions the other day when she saw two wine glasses in the sink when she came over. He's gotta be so careful, and that whole thing really made him anxious that like, she's just gonna stop by one day unannounced and Rachel's gonna be there. It'd be a fucking nightmare.
"Sounds like she was just being nice."
The sound that comes from her is definitely not a good one. It's like a snort and a grunt at once, and she buckles her seatbelt and takes off her gloves. "She tries so hard."
Yeah, Puck can see how she'd think that. But he also knows Rachel and how much she loves her job and her students, and running the choir is one of her favourite things. She's told him before that she doesn't even consider it work. Which, yeah, he made a joke about how much of a bonus she gets for supervising an extracurricular, and then bonus on top of that if they place well in competitions. He was just being a dick, though, 'cause he knows that's not why she does it.
"Trust me, it's better to have a teacher who tries too hard than one that doesn't care at all," he says, and that basically sums up most of his experience in the school system. "Cut her some slack. There're worse people to have on your side."
Charlie rolls her eyes and asks what they're having for dinner, and honestly he's just really glad she didn't ask why he thinks he knows Rachel well enough to say shit like that.
… … …
"I'm exhausted," Rachel tells him, sliding into bed next to him, totally naked. Which like. Fuck.
"Mm." He's tired, too. He just got off an overtime shift, invited her over and let her know the door'd be unlocked when she got here. "C'mere."
"Noah," she laughs, moving closer, pressing her head against his chest and letting him wrap his arm around her. "You know what happens. We get too hot after about five minutes and move away from each other."
"Shh it's fine," he mumbles against her hair. His eyes are drooping closed. He'd love to have sex, but he's just so damn tired. "You're sexy."
She chuckles and taps the tips of her fingers against his chest. Feels nice. "Goodnight."
She's still there when he wakes up in the morning. Yeah, they totally moved away from each other in the night, but it's definitely later than usual and she's still sleeping on her side next to him, sheets pulled up over her shoulder.
He checks the time and sees that it's already 7:09, and fuck, she's gonna be so mad she overslept. She tries to snuggle up to him when he's trying to wake her up, but after a few seconds it's like she clues in and automatically knows what time it is, mutters the worst curse he's ever heard her say and jumps out of bed.
He's not saying it's not funny, he's just saying he doesn't laugh.
… … …
Her friends are having some party or whatever, and she asks him if he wants to go. He can't say it sounds too terrible, honestly. Most of her friends are single, which is weird because most of his aren't. Normally he'd be saying he doesn't give a fuck about her friends making dinner, that he'd rather spend his evening going down on her in her bed, but. Things change, really. He doesn't even think it's because he so rarely gets to go anywhere or do anything with her. Honestly, it's just like…He likes being with her and getting to know her friends seems pretty important.
It goes well. It's really nothing exceptional or anything, just like ten friends eating a meal around a massive table in Tina's house. She lives with this guy Matt that Puck swears he knows from somewhere, but he can't place it and he doesn't get enough of a chance to talk to the guy about it. Apparently Tina and Matt have been together since college and he's a psychologist. Mercedes is there, too, and a bunch of people Puck meets for the first time. It's totally relaxed, though, and he doesn't really dislike anyone. Rachel's going on and on, after, about how her friends all love him and they were so pleased to meet him.
Things are getting serious and he's gotta tell Santana. She's not gonna care, really. Not like…Look, she's obviously not interested in him or jealous of anyone who is. She doesn't care who he sleeps with, usually. But he's never slept with anyone whose presence in his life might affect Charlie. And yeah, he's typically just like, bragging about sex when he tells Santana shit, and this is pretty different from that. He's about to tell her he's in a relationship with Charlie's teacher, and he just doesn't know…
So what happens is he drops Charlie off after his weekend, and Santana made this curry thing he loves so she invites him to stay for dinner. Eventually Charlie goes to bed, kisses them both on their cheeks and heads for the stairs. Santana offers Puck a beer and he's not about to say no to that.
No, he doesn't say no to the second, third or fourth, either, and then he's feeling good enough sitting in this comfortable leather chair to just…
"I'm dating Rachel." The look on her face clearly tells him that she doesn't know who the fuck Rachel is. "Ms. Berry."
Santana's eyes go wide and her jaw drops, and she leans forward quickly as if that'll somehow prove whether or not he's shitting her or telling the truth.
"You are not."
He shifts his eyes back and forth. "Yeah, I am."
"You're fucking her. Not dating her." She leans back again, and maybe another time or place he'd be offended by that stupid statement, but right now he's not. He just stares at her. "Shit, you're dating her?"
"Yeah. For a while now." He does some math in his head. It's not like he's breaking any records by being with Rachel for over a month, but it's pretty serious for him. Santana gets that. He sure as fuck wouldn't be telling her if it wasn't something pretty important. "I dunno. It's good." Santana is just looking at him with this expression on her face that's telling him she sees through the whole thing. "What?"
"You're an idiot," she laughs, and yeah, that could be true and for a multitude of reasons. He doesn't need or want her to specify. "Also, Charlie hates her."
Puck rolls his eyes. "She does not, she just thinks Rachel hates her."
"And that's better?"
She could stop fucking laughing any time now.
"Whatever." Seriously, it's pretty simple; it'll be easier to prove to Charlie that Rachel doesn't have it out for her than it would be to get Charlie to stop hating Rachel if she actually did.
"Well," Santana says, kicking his shin and holding up her beer bottle. "Good luck with all that."
He wants to say he doesn't need the luck, but fuck, it probably doesn't hurt. He doesn't want to tell Charlie right away, and the holidays are coming up which are stressful as fuck and always have been. The saving grace is that they all get along well enough that they do Christmas day together, alternating years between Santana's place and his. Yeah, he does some of the Hanukkah stuff with Charlie, but there's something about Christmas day that sort of feels good, too. Then after they've done presents and stuff they drive out to Lima to spend the time with Santana's family. He's surprised he's still invited, really, but he always has been and now it's just a given that he goes; Mrs. Lopez doesn't even bother reaching out to him anymore.
This year'll be a bit different, since he wants to do stuff with Rachel, too, but they're definitely not at a point with this whole thing where they're gonna spend Christmas day together. Besides, she's part Jewish, too, and no, he doesn't really get how her family splits up the holidays and what they observe and what they don't, or when. It's complicated enough that she's got a calendar for everything. He doesn't need to be part of that. He just wants to give her a gift and make her dinner or something.
He falls asleep in the guest bedroom at Santana's place, and he's totally blaming the beer for the fact that he's thinking maybe next year Rachel will be with them all and…
Yeah, he closes his eyes to stop that train of thought.
… … …
Apparently Rachel's dads moved to Chicago after she went away to college. Something about her dad's job or whatever, but also he's from there and his mom's there and she's getting older and arthritic, and it's Rachel talking so yeah, he hears the entire story. Which is fine, of course, but she's also putting things into a suitcase so she can leave first thing in the morning, and he's pretty grumpy (that's the word she's using, anyway) that she's gonna be gone for a week and a half.
"My goodness, Noah, stop," she laughs, swatting his hand away when he takes the same dress out of her suitcase for the third time. What? She's got a good laugh and he likes hearing it. "Put it this way: the more time it takes me to pack, the less time we have to fool around."
Thats true, he supposes. "You know, I do like just hanging out with you, too."
Rachel watches him lean back against the like 80 pillows she's got at the head of her bed, smiles at him as she folds a pair of jeans. "I suspected, but it's nice to hear you say it." Puck rolls his eyes. "We don't, after all, just spend all our time having sex."
He glares. "Not for the next week and a half, anyway," he mumbles.
"I think you'll survive without me," she says, hand on her hip as she looks at him. It's sort of patronizing, but he knows for a fact she's loving this, him complaining that she's leaving.
"What if I don't?"
She looks away and lets out a little breath, and he doesn't really get what that's about until she says, "That's actually…I worry."
He just furrows his brow. She's not making much sense. "About what?"
"You have a dangerous job," she says quietly. Oh, that.
"I'm safe."
"Anything could happen," she tells him, then sits down so she's facing him. "It's not easy, knowing you're at work and no one would even think to call me if something happened."
"Santana would."
Yeah, he definitely told Rachel that he let it slip to Santana, and she doesn't mind that he said something. "Still."
He wants to make her stop looking so fucking sad right now.
Sliding his hand up the inside of her thigh, he says, "If you wanna be the woman dating the hot firefighter, you gotta deal with the risk." Rachel rolls her eyes at him and doesn't look that happy, so obviously that joke didn't land.
"I…have some things invested in you getting home in one piece," she says, almost whispering, moving her thumb over his knuckles. "I care about you."
He says it back and doesn't even feel like a douchebag about it, so, you know. That sort of tells you where he stands.
… … …
Christmas is a gong show, as usual, and everyone spoils the fuck out of Charlie, as usual. She's the only grandkid ("for now," his mom keeps saying, and whatever) so she gets all the attention, and he knows she absolutely loves that. She's not materialistic, really, she just loves getting presents, no matter what they are. She's like her mother that way. And yeah, he's fucking great at picking out presents for both of them. Santana's easy, 'cause you just get her a good piece of jewelry and she's totally happy. Charlie's a bit harder, but she loves all the things he gets her.
He's in town three days before Rachel's back from visiting her dads, so that's interesting. Really he doesn't mind the time on his own, it'd just be nice to have it with her, too, since she's off and doesn't have to rush off to work or only come by every other weekend when they can sleep in.
He gets called in on an overtime shift, and those don't come around too often, so he heads to the station where he's needed and that at least kills 12 hours. He goes for a drink with Jake and this woman he's been seeing who…Puck does't want to be a prick, but Jake's a player and she's too good for him and what he's inevitably gonna put her through. And yeah, people've said that about Puck, too, but…
Well, he knows a good thing when he's got it.
… … …
Charlie and Santana are having a New Years thing, or whatever. Really it's just an excuse for both of them to have their friends over, and somehow that actually works out well for them. He has no idea how. Mostly, he thinks, Charlie and her friends stay in her bedroom watching the performances from New York, and Santana puts on music downstairs and keeps the champagne chilled in the fridge. It's not a huge bash or anything, but it's basically their yearly tradition, and he usually goes, too.
This year, he's got plans with Rachel. She gets back the 31st and drops her things at her house, invites him over and he gets her undressed before she can even unpack.
Santana texts to ask him what time he's coming over, and Rachel sees the message, which doesn't bother him at all.
"You should go," she tells him, and she doesn't sound like she's joking.
"What?" he asks, and she pulls away a bit. "No. We have plans."
"It's your daughter."
"I had breakfast with her this morning," he says, and Rachel just sighs. "If I wanted to go, I wouldn't have made plans with you."
Rachel lies back down next to him, lets him pull her closer. "You're sure she won't be upset?"
He chuckles a bit. "She'll spend the whole night with her friends in her room, thinking it's a big deal when Santana lets them toast with like a thimble full of champagne each." Rachel laughs a bit. "It's fine."
"Good," she says, then moves so she's on top of him, and the sheets fall down her back so they aren't covering her at all. Fuck. "How do you feel about not putting clothes on until tomorrow?"
His brow ticks up and his hands move to her hips. "Naked New Years?"
Rachel laughs until he kisses her.
… … …
What he's been expecting is that Charlie'll walk into his place sometime and find Rachel there. Not that she'll walk into his place looking more pissed than he's ever seen her, Santana following closely behind her.
Fuck.
"You're her boyfriend?" she says angrily, and Puck sighs and glances to Santana, who's just shaking her head like she had nothing to do with this revelation. "I saw your name come up on her phone."
He knows for a fact that Rachel's just got him saved as Noah in her phone. He also knows, though, that if Charlie - or anyone else - asked, she wouldn't lie about who it was.
He's not gonna lie to her either, but he's a bit annoyed that she's acting like she has any real say in the matter. For fuck's sake, he's not dating an axe murderer.
"Yes."
Yeah, she wasn't expecting that. She just stands there, and Santana's now next to her in his kitchen.
She just shouts, "Dad!" and then starts crying, and like. Fuck. What's he supposed to do about that? "How could you do that? You didn't even ask me!"
Okay, that pisses him off, and Santana's about to say something, but he cuts her off. "It's not your call, Charlie," he tells her, and he's not trying to be mean and he definitely doesn't sound mean. He's literally just talking to her. "I didn't need your opinion."
Santana puts her arm around their daughter and glares at him. "Jesus, Puck. Come on."
He knows she's on his side, really, or at least she knows that he's right. But yeah, maybe she wants him to be a bit more delicate with their emotional kid.
"Everyone was making fun of her the other day," Charlie says, and he's pretty sure it's just to hurt him, really. "Someone asked if she had a boyfriend and she wouldn't answer, so they kept on pushing and pushing until she was like red in the face." Puck clenches his teeth. He really hopes she wasn't in on that. And he wonders why Rachel didn't say anything. Well, he knows why, but. "Everyone's gonna flip out when they know she's dating my dad."
He wants to roll his eyes, but he works so hard not to. "When you get older you'll realize how much easier it is to just not care what people think." Charlie glares at him. "I'm being serious."
It hits him that she must not realize Santana knew, too. It'd be easy to throw her under the bus here, too, but he's not gonna do that. Mostly for Charlie. She doesn't need to think everyone she trusts was keeping shit from her.
"That doesn't help me now," she says, swiping at her eyes.
He does feel bad. Maybe he should have told her right away. But there's always the risk of telling her and it not working out, which is different now that she's older and she can understand more that sometimes dating someone doesn't always turn into a marriage. But there's the whole weird dynamic with her and Rachel anyway, and he just…He doesn't think there's a way he could have played this that wasn't somehow wrong.
"Charlie, they didn't like, conspire to make your life difficult," Santana says, and Charlie just sighs. Then she nods a bit and he passes her a tissue. So maybe they're getting somewhere.
"Did you say anything to Rachel?" he asks, and Charlie gives him a look that might as well be saying 'what the fuck'? "Ms. Berry."
"I know her first name," she says, like he's a total moron. It actually makes him laugh. "I didn't say anything. She told me it was you and I left choir practice and mom came to get me."
"Okay."
"It's not fair," Charlie pouts, looking at the counter. He honestly can't tell if she even means that. "And like, I've been talking to you about her."
"I know," Puck says. Fuck, he does feel bad about that, too.
Santana, the shit disturber, says, "So she thinks you don't like her, and you think she doesn't like you." She turns to Puck and Charlie sits down at the counter, so he thinks she's calming down a bit about everything. "Nice pick, Noah." Puck gives her the shitty look she deserves. "What's for dinner?"
So yeah, apparently they're staying, which is fine 'cause he'll just make some burgers and he's got a salad in the fridge from last night. He offers Santana a beer, but she asks for wine, which he thinks she does just to be contrary. Not at all surprising, really.
She has to get up and take a call just as he's mixing together the ingredients to make the burgers they all love (which, yeah, makes him feel awesome), so it's just him and Charlie in the kitchen. She's sitting there with a glass of water and some sweet potato chips in a bowl in front of her, and she sighs. Which obviously means she wants his attention so he looks up at her.
"So it's a thing, then?" she asks, and he doesn't know what she means, but he could probably guess. "You're like, in love with her?"
He doesn't mean to laugh, and it's more of a chuckle, really, because…She just has so much to learn, you know? "I'm not in love with her. But it's serious."
She thinks about that. "Is she in love with you?"
Puck clears his throat awkwardly - he fucking hears it and it's totally awkward - and sets his hands on the counter. "I don't think so," he answers, and Charlie's just looking at him like she's waiting for more. "It's serious."
"You already said that," she teases. He glares, but it's mostly playful now. "So you're gonna fall in love. Or you want to."
Puck sighs at her and they just stare at each other for a moment, and how the fuck does he explain to his daughter that, you know, you can be in a relationship and it can be serious and you can take a while to fall in love with someone, and maybe that won't even happen? He wants her to have healthy relationships - any kind of relationship - and he's struggling with a way to tell her that it's okay to just hang out with someone with no clear goals or commitment. He doesn't want to confuse the fuck out of her or make her think it's okay to settle for less than she wants and deserves. Plus, he and Rachel have had the conversation about being committed, and they are, and he's happy about that. Charlie has to know that people don't just go on a couple dates and bam they're in love. She's 12, for Christ's sake. She's not stupid.
So he says, "Yeah, that…seems to be where it's going."
And Charlie looks so fucking smug that she just got him to admit that, and honestly if there was ever any doubt she's got Santana's blood in her veins…
"I don't have to like her," Charlie says, and fuck, it'd be great if she could just get over it. He doesn't even believe she means that, necessarily.
But also. "I didn't ask you to."
They stare each other down again and she eventually asks if they can have bacon on their burgers, and yeah, damn, they're totally gonna be fine.
… … …
Getting Rachel to agree to meet him and Charlie for lunch is harder than he thought it'd be when he first had the idea. He really assumed she'd be all over it, wanting to spend time with them together, with Charlie outside of school and whatever. Like, fuck, they're dating and this is his kid, and he's not saying he thinks she doesn't realize that's important, it's just he thought he wouldn't have to convince her.
He gets there first with Charlie, and it's a Saturday and he realizes, though it's a stupid thing to be thinking about, that this may be the first time Rachel's seen Charlie out of her school uniform and the first time Charlie's seen Rachel in anything other than what she wears to work. Charlie's got on jeans and a grey sweater, the gold necklace he got her for Christmas fastened around her neck.
When they get to the table, she waits until he sits down first, then sits across from him, and seriously, she's being pretty calculated with that. He doesn't mention it, 'cause he'd rather this whole thing not start off more tense than it already is. She's feeling weird about seeing a teacher outside of school, and he gets that. It's definitely not something any kid ever plans for. And fuck, if his mom had like, dated his chem teacher or something, he probably would have flown off the handle.
She orders a milkshake and he gets glasses of water for both him and Rachel, and Charlie's looking at the menu when Rachel walks in. Puck can see her trying to figure out where she should sit, and whoever goes through her head she decides to sit next to him.
"Hi. I couldn't find parking. This area is crazy on Saturdays." Charlie's just looking at her, then looks at Puck, and maybe she's expecting them to kiss or something. "Hi Charlie."
"Hey." Charlie puts on a smile, but it wouldn't kill her to at least try to make it look like she wasn't forced to be here. She wasn't, first of all. He asked her if she'd be willing to come and she said yes pretty quickly, after a few questions about where they'd go and what they'd have for lunch. "I like your scarf."
Rachel smiles in a way that's so genuine Puck has to do it too. Charlie's actually being sincere and trying, and he appreciates it. Rachel does, too.
"Thank you. It was a gift, actually." She slants her eyes towards Puck and he does his best not to wink at her.
Charlie narrows her eyes. "From Dad?" Rachel nods a bit, laughs. Puck's just happy sitting here watching them. "Weird. His taste isn't that good."
Puck glares as the waiter brings their drinks. "Funny," he mumbles, and Charlie laughs and sips strawberry milkshake from a red and white striped straw.
Rachel opens her menu and says something about how she isn't sure what kind of food Charlie likes, but there's a sandwich here that's amazing and the sweet potato fries are best dipped in the house-made barbecue sauce. She says it like it's some kind of secret and Charlie smiles quickly then looks back to her menu again. When Puck glances at her, she looks up at him and rolls her eyes when she sees that he's pretty happy with how this is going. He's literally said one word since Rachel got here.
He presses his foot up against Rachel's under the table, sits back in his chair and takes a drink of water.
Look, he's not an idiot and he knows his kid. It's gonna take Charlie a while to get used to this, and that's totally fine. He's not gonna like, invite Rachel to stay overnight while Charlie's at his place. In part because Charlie's absolutely not there yet, and in part because he likes his one on one time with his daughter. Eventually, yeah, maybe they'll get to the point where they're all comfortable enough with things to do that, but for now it's fine by him if Charlie's just willing to do this thing where maybe they hang out with Rachel a couple hours at a time.
After they're finished lunch, they walk Rachel to her car, and she says, "I'll see you on Monday, Charlie," and Charlie just nods and gives a little smile, stuffs her hands in her pockets and waits while he opens the car door for Rachel and closes it behind her.
Pairing: Puck/Rachel
Summary: She smiles back, and he's wondering what the rules are for her against sleeping with students' parents. Not that it's a given that she wants to, but he's a curious guy and he thinks about these things. For
morythemonster.
Word Count: 17,300
Disclaimer: Don't own.
The next time he sees her is Wednesday when he's picking Charlie up after choir practice. He's in the pick up zone at the school and Rachel's waiting with all the students until their parents arrive. He's pretty sure she doesn't even notice him until Charlie picks her backpack up off the floor and says goodbye. Then, yeah, he notices the way Rachel's eyes scan around for him. She obviously can't wave or whatever, but they look at each other and he gives her a smile, 'cause that's not a thing any of these kids will read into too much.
Charlie gets into his car and puts her backpack on the floor by her feet, buckles her seatbelt and doesn't say a word, so he's gotta focus on what's wrong with her. He knows her and she wouldn't just not say anything unless something was going on that was making her moody.
"What's wrong?"
"Ms. Berry gave the solo to Taylor. She's not even good."
He has no idea what solo she's talking about, but she's obviously upset about, which is actually a bit surprising, considering it took her a week and a half after they talked about it to even agree to 'try' choir. Seeing as she told him and Santana that she'd do it for a bit without any promise she'd stay involved, her getting passed over for a solo probably isn't helping her make the decision to commit. But he's a bit proud of her for caring enough to be upset when she doesn't get the thing she wanted. Last he asked she said choir was just okay and wouldn't give him much more info than that.
He's got her calmed down and feeling okay about it by the time they get to his place. Wednesdays, if he's not working, he usually makes them dinner and she hangs out a while then he takes her home. Apparently there wasn't a try out for the solo or anything, and Taylor has been in the choir since last year. So Puck explains that it's not any sort of playing favourites and Charlie didn't get left out, really, she just didn't make it clear a solo is something she wants. Hell, he had no idea she was talking this that seriously. He's happy to hear it and he tells her that. And he mentions that if she wants a solo she's going to have to practice more and let Ms. Berry know she wants to be featured.
So, crisis averted, but when Rachel texts him later and asks how he's doing, he thinks two things. One, he's sort of appreciative that she sorted out he was spending time with Charlie and didn't interrupt that, and two, he doesn't know where the line is indicating what he can tell her about Charlie and what he shouldn't. Like, he doesn't want to sell Charlie out and tell Rachel she was upset about the solo. It's not his place to interfere, and he thinks it's pretty important that Charlie learn these lessons on her own or with his and Santana's help. If Rachel starts treating her differently 'cause she's got him in her ear telling her how to do things, that's not fair to anyone.
Then he's thinking he wants to see her but has no idea when that might happen.
She mentions something about the weekend, but he's got Charlie then, too.
Then this thing happens and Rachel says, 'Why don't I come over now?', and yeah, it's just really nice to know she wants him badly enough to come over at 9:00 on a Wednesday night when she has to work the next day.
… … …
The way she texts is like, ridiculous. By that he means she sends three messages for each of his one. And they're not usually brief, either. But he likes it and he doesn't care if she goes into detail about her day or her dinner or the show she watches that she thinks he might enjoy, too. She's pretty intense, he's learning, though he sort of picked up on that through things Charlie said.
He doesn't even find it annoying when she does things like send him :*, which is actually a first for him, because usually that's the number one indication that a woman is getting a bit too comfortable, and by that he means too invested in the thing. With Rachel he really thinks she just wants to kiss him, and yeah, he feels the same way. Fuck, the other day they spent like an hour just making out on his couch before he finally decided he wanted to see her tits and pushed her shirt up and off.
He almost blurts it out to Santana when she's being a bit of an asshole about something and he responds in the way a normal person would - by not taking her bullshit - and she makes a comment about how he's only ever this much of a grizzly bear when he isn't getting laid. Instead he just asks her what her excuse is for being a raging bitch, then they're both laughing and this is why they're such good friends, really.
He calls Rachel when he gets home and she's already in bed, so that's a good visual, and she gets a bit shy when he tells her so and he can practically see the pink on her cheeks.
… … ...
He's gotta work at 6:00 am and she spent last night in his bed, and yeah, waking up with her is pretty fucking fantastic. And honestly, the way she looks at him when he's got his cargo pants on, his navy blue department tee shirt tucked in like it's supposed to be, and he's fastening his watch? Damn. She looks like she's about to have an orgasm. Seriously. He's seen it and he knows what it looks like.
"What?" he asks, and she goes back to buttoning her shirt. She doesn't answer and he knows she's not going to. So yeah, he walks over. And yeah, he starts unbuttoning her shirt from the bottom up just as she's fastening the last one at her chest.
"Noah," she sort of laughs. "Stop."
"You were staring."
She puts a hand on her hip and he buttons the button again. He really does like standing close to her like this, looking at her from here. "I think you look…" He ticks his brow up and she rolls her eyes, but sets her hands on his biceps. "Really sexy."
"That right?" he asks smugly.
"Oh, be quiet," Rachel tells him, and tries to pull away, but he laughs and keeps his hands on her hips. "You know exactly how good you look in your work clothes."
"What makes you say that?"
She just looks up at him like he's stupid. "I seem to remember your comments at my school that day."
Oh yeah. That.
"Well," he tells her, then kisses right next to her ear and slides his hand around to the small of her back, "I've never seen you in anything I didn't immediately want to get you out of, so. You know."
Her hand is directly on his ass and she absolutely moans and presses her hips against him.
He's gotta get to work, much as he wants to pull up her skirt and lift her onto the dresser behind her.
… … …
He thinks she's a hell of a lot more worried about being seen with him than he is about being seen with her. Which makes sense, probably, even though he is pretty insistent that it'd be fucked up of the school to forbid teachers from having personal relationships with students' teachers. He hasn't said that to her or anything, because they haven't talked about it. Mostly, he thinks, because she doesn't want to admit that's what's got her being so careful.
And look, it's not as though he wants to wine and dine her or take her on extravagant dates or whatever, but he wants to spend time with her and do something other than fuck. Yeah, he's a bit surprised, too. All he's saying is it'd be nice if he could meet her for coffee or take her to dinner. Or hell, she was talking about this movie she wants to see and apparently couldn't find anyone to go with. He isn't interested in it in the slightest, but he'd go with her if he thought she'd be okay with that.
She texts him asking if he wants to do something after she's through working for the day, and when he asks what she has in mind she suggests bringing a bottle of champagne to his place. He's not about to tell her he doesn't want to, but he's finishing up a crazy shift and he has this thought that it'd be really fucking great to go out to this bar he likes and have a drink with her there. Then come home and get into bed with her, fall into a great post-orgasm sleep and not set an alarm tomorrow morning.
He's not the kind of guy who's not gonna just say what he wants, so he replies with his idea and she calls him, which, whatever, he thinks might mean bad news. Because if she were into it she'd just say yes and ask him if he wanted to meet there or go together.
"I'm just trying to be discreet," she says, and honestly she sounds like she's working pretty fucking hard to believe that herself.
"Why's that?"
She's quiet for a second, like she didn't think he'd question her on it. "Because I'm recognizable and your daughter goes to my school."
"So?"
"So she's also in my choir and I can't have people thinking…"
"Thinking you actually have a life."
Okay, so that's the shittiest thing he could have said, probably, and he already feels like a bit of a dick for it.
"That's not at all what I'm saying," she almost snaps, and yeah, he deserves it. "The school isn't a dating service, Noah. I'm not going to go around with you or anyone else until I can defend it as something solid and serious." Uh. "Not that I'm with anyone else."
Glad she cleared that up, 'cause yeah, that's what he was feeling most uneasy about.
And she's not done, apparently, because she keeps on talking.
"Dating students' parents isn't against the rules, but I won't give people even the opportunity to say I'm taking advantage of the fact that…"
"Okay," he says, interrupting, which is shitty of him and he knows it. But really, she's right, or at least he understands what she's saying and why she feels the way she feels. "I get it. I'm sorry."
She must be able to tell when he's genuinely apologizing, because she says, "Okay. Thank you."
So yeah, she comes over with that bottle she mentioned and a pint of ice cream and watches a hockey game with him. She wakes him up with a little kiss when he falls asleep on the sofa next to her, and she doesn't stay over 'cause she says she doesn't want to disturb him in the morning when she has to get up and go to work.
… … …
They do go to a movie together, because it's a late showing of a film that's been out a while, in a different part of town and there literally only four other people in the place.
So yeah, he mentions something in her ear about how it's kind of hot to sneak around, and she grips the armrest between them a bit too tightly and they actually end up leaving before the movie's over, go to his house and get naked in the kitchen, so yeah. He's fine with it.
… … …
Rachel's place is somehow not at all what he'd expected it to be. Maybe it's where she works or that she apparently has 'expensive taste', or that her clothes are fairly conservative or whatever, but he expected a condo or apartment with really big, old furniture or something. Something like you'd see on TV when they want to show how rich someone is. Dark walls and wood and paintings on the walls.
But Rachel lives in a pretty new subdivision, in a house that is probably a bit big for her, considering she lives alone. It's nice, open plan with granite countertops and a big grey sofa, a fireplace…All the things he'd expect to see in a house in this subdivision. Her lawn is landscaped and she's got a two car garage. The way it's decorated reminds him a bit of Santana's place, only the furniture is lighter in colour and Rachel doesn't have a dark grey accent wall in her bedroom or anything like Santana does. It's contemporary without being weird. And he can tell she's comfortable in her home by the way she answers the door barefoot, wearing leggings and this wrap sweater thing that falls off her shoulder a bit when she's gesturing for him to come inside.
She's got beer in her fridge and offers him one, says she's ordered pizza because she's hungry and didn't feel like cooking, and honestly, the way she sits down on the sofa with one leg tucked under her and her body angled towards him…She's just really sexy and she seems more relaxed here than she has since he met her.
He plays with the silver bracelet she's always wearing as they talk and wait for their food. She watches him doing it for a few seconds, but he can't tell if that means she likes it, or if she just doesn't want to look at him as she tells him about how she thinks a couple of the other teachers are really starting to dislike her because she doesn't agree with the punitive way in which they handle their students.
"Maybe I shouldn't be talking about work," she says, a bit panicky. "Your daughter goes to my school and…I'd hate to colour your opinion."
Puck thinks that's sort of bullshit. He also doesn't like the idea of like, not being able to talk to her about this huge part of her life. It seems pretty limiting. And these are things he wouldn't have given a shit about when he was younger, but at this point in his life he's not looking for small talk and a bunch of sex, you know? He likes Rachel, likes hearing her talk and wants to get to know her.
"I'm sure I can handle it," he tells her, because he doesn't want to tell her all that. "And you're not naming names."
She nods a bit, sips her beer. "I like my job and I like the school, I just…My personal goal is to be the director of the arts programme, and it's important that my colleagues like me."
She's pretty vulnerable, and he really does get the impression - from this and from her talking about her friend Kurt - that she's got this serious worry about people not liking her. As if that's somehow all her fault and not at all theirs. Like, yeah, there are things that you can do to make people like you, but it's not all your responsibility. And if you change yourself to make people like you, then what the fuck are you left with, you know?
These are the things you think about when your kid's eight and comes home crying because her 'best friend' picked someone else to go to the movies with or whatever. Honestly, you never would have heard him talking like this before Charlie.
When he says something about it, she laughs softly and weaves her fingers together with his. "You're very smart." He scoffs a bit and shakes his head. "Stop it. You are."
He doesn't tell her that he's just some dumb firefighter, but that's sometimes how he feels. Partly because the only reason he became a firefighter is because he couldn't cut it in college and it was something he could train for and make a decent amount of money without a degree. He's good at it and he loves it, but he didn't realize either of those things until after he'd started training.
She's got some black and white pictures in black frames on the walls, and he looks at them while she gets plates and stuff after the pizza comes. There're a couple with friends, he figures, 'cause he sees Tina and Mercedes in the photos. And one of her and two older men. And there's one of her and a group of people and she's standing next to this tall guy, her arm around him and her other hand on his stomach. It takes him about three seconds to notice the diamond ring on her finger. He can't figure out why she'd have a picture like this in her house, but she looks great in it and the rest of her friends do, too.
She catches him looking, then quietly asks if he wants another beer, so he looks away and joins her in the kitchen. He's not trying to make her uncomfortable, but apparently he has.
"I was engaged," she tells him, her back to him, then goes to sit down at her table with her plate and bottle of beer.
He sits down across from her and asks, "What happened? Who'd be crazy enough to break up with you?"
He immediately knows he's said something really wrong, because she gets this painfully sad look on her face and sets her hands on the table. Fuck.
"He died."
Puck has felt like an asshole more in his life than probably anyone else you'll ever meet. But he's never run his mouth quite like this and said something so fucking stupid. She's obviously hurt and he doesn't blame her. He has no idea when all this happened, except she looks younger in that photograph so he figures it's been at least a few years. But he doesn't think you get over losing someone you were planning on being with forever. He just can't see that being something you just move past.
"I'm sorry," he says, though his voice is a bit stuck in his throat. "I didn't mean…"
"It's okay," Rachel says, and puts on a smile he can tell isn't quite real. "You didn't know." He lets out a breath and Rachel takes a small bite of her pizza. "I figured it would come up eventually. I just never quite know when to... Sorry you were kind of ambushed with the photo and…"
"It's fine." He means that. It makes so much sense now. She's probably got more pictures around, too, so he's sort of glad he knows the story and doesn't have to wonder about it. "Seriously, it's not my business."
Rachel tilts her head at him. "It is, Noah."
He doesn't try to insist any harder that it isn't. If she's making it his business, then he'll accept that. These things keep happening that prove this could be going somewhere, and he's not going to let something like this get in the way of that. Everyone's got a past, and it's no difference to him if she was engaged or married before, just like it wouldn't be any difference if she'd never dated anyone else in her life. She knows about his past with Santana, and he's sure they'll get around to talking about other relationships, too, but these seem to be the big ones, the significant ones, and fuck, he's a bit relieved that they're getting all the heavy things out in the open this early.
She tells him more about her fiancé and how he died. They were together for most of high school and got engaged very young, but had no plans to get married right away, but they loved each other and thought they'd get there eventually. He was in school to become a teacher, too. Apparently he was a great football player and wanted to coach and teach PE. Puck's not about to say it, but there's something about the fact that it sounds like Rachel and this Finn guy were always together and did all the same things that just…That's not the relationship he wants, and he doesn't actually think that's the relationship she wants, either. He might not know her as well as Finn did - at the time when they dated at least - but Puck feels like she's pretty independent, and he knows for a fact he would have gotten uninterested real fucking quick if she'd like glued herself to his side the minute they slept together.
He doesn't want to ask if she thinks she'd be married to Finn now if he hadn't died, but he's sure as shit thinking about it. He's not one of these people who thinks there's only one person out there for everyone, and he's really not bothered by the fact that she was once so in love with someone else that she almost made that kind of commitment.
She seems surprised when he says something along those lines.
"Really?" she asks, then sort of laughs at herself. "I just mean…It's been a problem for other guys, and…"
"I'm not other guys," he says, and it's not a line, he's mostly saying it like... Fuck, he thinks he's a pretty decent person most of the time.
But Rachel smiles, looks down at her lap and says, "No you're not," in this way that, swear to god, makes him want to take off her clothes right fucking now.
… … …
Charlie slams the car door shut and gives him a mean fucking glare that's all Santana, and the thing is, he used to see this look and wonder what he did wrong. Now he just sees it and hopes his daughter isn't going to say something shitty that'll make him have to discipline her. He and Santana aren't particularly strict parents, but they don't want to raise a shitty kid who says mean things and never gets called on it.
"Apparently Ms. Berry knows mom's a lesbian," she says, and he really wants to get home and get started on dinner, but she hasn't fastened her seatbelt yet.
"What?"
"She like, cornered me after choir and said that her dads are gay and if I ever needed someone to talk to and…God, she's so annoying. Teachers always think I want to like, be friends with them."
He's not gonna lie, he sort of wishes Rachel hadn't said anything. Partly because now Santana's gonna march in there and ask where Rachel gets off talking to Charlie about it, and it's gonna come out that he told her, and then it's gonna come out that he's sleeping with her. Not ideal. He'd like to tell Santana himself, without her threatening bodily harm to Rachel in order to get the information.
And telling Charlie's a whole other issue. He hasn't even brought that up with Rachel, but they can only do this thing for so long without his daughter finding out. She's smart, and she's not exactly a baby. She's old enough to piece things together, and he thought she was gonna start asking a shitload of questions the other day when she saw two wine glasses in the sink when she came over. He's gotta be so careful, and that whole thing really made him anxious that like, she's just gonna stop by one day unannounced and Rachel's gonna be there. It'd be a fucking nightmare.
"Sounds like she was just being nice."
The sound that comes from her is definitely not a good one. It's like a snort and a grunt at once, and she buckles her seatbelt and takes off her gloves. "She tries so hard."
Yeah, Puck can see how she'd think that. But he also knows Rachel and how much she loves her job and her students, and running the choir is one of her favourite things. She's told him before that she doesn't even consider it work. Which, yeah, he made a joke about how much of a bonus she gets for supervising an extracurricular, and then bonus on top of that if they place well in competitions. He was just being a dick, though, 'cause he knows that's not why she does it.
"Trust me, it's better to have a teacher who tries too hard than one that doesn't care at all," he says, and that basically sums up most of his experience in the school system. "Cut her some slack. There're worse people to have on your side."
Charlie rolls her eyes and asks what they're having for dinner, and honestly he's just really glad she didn't ask why he thinks he knows Rachel well enough to say shit like that.
… … …
"I'm exhausted," Rachel tells him, sliding into bed next to him, totally naked. Which like. Fuck.
"Mm." He's tired, too. He just got off an overtime shift, invited her over and let her know the door'd be unlocked when she got here. "C'mere."
"Noah," she laughs, moving closer, pressing her head against his chest and letting him wrap his arm around her. "You know what happens. We get too hot after about five minutes and move away from each other."
"Shh it's fine," he mumbles against her hair. His eyes are drooping closed. He'd love to have sex, but he's just so damn tired. "You're sexy."
She chuckles and taps the tips of her fingers against his chest. Feels nice. "Goodnight."
She's still there when he wakes up in the morning. Yeah, they totally moved away from each other in the night, but it's definitely later than usual and she's still sleeping on her side next to him, sheets pulled up over her shoulder.
He checks the time and sees that it's already 7:09, and fuck, she's gonna be so mad she overslept. She tries to snuggle up to him when he's trying to wake her up, but after a few seconds it's like she clues in and automatically knows what time it is, mutters the worst curse he's ever heard her say and jumps out of bed.
He's not saying it's not funny, he's just saying he doesn't laugh.
… … …
Her friends are having some party or whatever, and she asks him if he wants to go. He can't say it sounds too terrible, honestly. Most of her friends are single, which is weird because most of his aren't. Normally he'd be saying he doesn't give a fuck about her friends making dinner, that he'd rather spend his evening going down on her in her bed, but. Things change, really. He doesn't even think it's because he so rarely gets to go anywhere or do anything with her. Honestly, it's just like…He likes being with her and getting to know her friends seems pretty important.
It goes well. It's really nothing exceptional or anything, just like ten friends eating a meal around a massive table in Tina's house. She lives with this guy Matt that Puck swears he knows from somewhere, but he can't place it and he doesn't get enough of a chance to talk to the guy about it. Apparently Tina and Matt have been together since college and he's a psychologist. Mercedes is there, too, and a bunch of people Puck meets for the first time. It's totally relaxed, though, and he doesn't really dislike anyone. Rachel's going on and on, after, about how her friends all love him and they were so pleased to meet him.
Things are getting serious and he's gotta tell Santana. She's not gonna care, really. Not like…Look, she's obviously not interested in him or jealous of anyone who is. She doesn't care who he sleeps with, usually. But he's never slept with anyone whose presence in his life might affect Charlie. And yeah, he's typically just like, bragging about sex when he tells Santana shit, and this is pretty different from that. He's about to tell her he's in a relationship with Charlie's teacher, and he just doesn't know…
So what happens is he drops Charlie off after his weekend, and Santana made this curry thing he loves so she invites him to stay for dinner. Eventually Charlie goes to bed, kisses them both on their cheeks and heads for the stairs. Santana offers Puck a beer and he's not about to say no to that.
No, he doesn't say no to the second, third or fourth, either, and then he's feeling good enough sitting in this comfortable leather chair to just…
"I'm dating Rachel." The look on her face clearly tells him that she doesn't know who the fuck Rachel is. "Ms. Berry."
Santana's eyes go wide and her jaw drops, and she leans forward quickly as if that'll somehow prove whether or not he's shitting her or telling the truth.
"You are not."
He shifts his eyes back and forth. "Yeah, I am."
"You're fucking her. Not dating her." She leans back again, and maybe another time or place he'd be offended by that stupid statement, but right now he's not. He just stares at her. "Shit, you're dating her?"
"Yeah. For a while now." He does some math in his head. It's not like he's breaking any records by being with Rachel for over a month, but it's pretty serious for him. Santana gets that. He sure as fuck wouldn't be telling her if it wasn't something pretty important. "I dunno. It's good." Santana is just looking at him with this expression on her face that's telling him she sees through the whole thing. "What?"
"You're an idiot," she laughs, and yeah, that could be true and for a multitude of reasons. He doesn't need or want her to specify. "Also, Charlie hates her."
Puck rolls his eyes. "She does not, she just thinks Rachel hates her."
"And that's better?"
She could stop fucking laughing any time now.
"Whatever." Seriously, it's pretty simple; it'll be easier to prove to Charlie that Rachel doesn't have it out for her than it would be to get Charlie to stop hating Rachel if she actually did.
"Well," Santana says, kicking his shin and holding up her beer bottle. "Good luck with all that."
He wants to say he doesn't need the luck, but fuck, it probably doesn't hurt. He doesn't want to tell Charlie right away, and the holidays are coming up which are stressful as fuck and always have been. The saving grace is that they all get along well enough that they do Christmas day together, alternating years between Santana's place and his. Yeah, he does some of the Hanukkah stuff with Charlie, but there's something about Christmas day that sort of feels good, too. Then after they've done presents and stuff they drive out to Lima to spend the time with Santana's family. He's surprised he's still invited, really, but he always has been and now it's just a given that he goes; Mrs. Lopez doesn't even bother reaching out to him anymore.
This year'll be a bit different, since he wants to do stuff with Rachel, too, but they're definitely not at a point with this whole thing where they're gonna spend Christmas day together. Besides, she's part Jewish, too, and no, he doesn't really get how her family splits up the holidays and what they observe and what they don't, or when. It's complicated enough that she's got a calendar for everything. He doesn't need to be part of that. He just wants to give her a gift and make her dinner or something.
He falls asleep in the guest bedroom at Santana's place, and he's totally blaming the beer for the fact that he's thinking maybe next year Rachel will be with them all and…
Yeah, he closes his eyes to stop that train of thought.
… … …
Apparently Rachel's dads moved to Chicago after she went away to college. Something about her dad's job or whatever, but also he's from there and his mom's there and she's getting older and arthritic, and it's Rachel talking so yeah, he hears the entire story. Which is fine, of course, but she's also putting things into a suitcase so she can leave first thing in the morning, and he's pretty grumpy (that's the word she's using, anyway) that she's gonna be gone for a week and a half.
"My goodness, Noah, stop," she laughs, swatting his hand away when he takes the same dress out of her suitcase for the third time. What? She's got a good laugh and he likes hearing it. "Put it this way: the more time it takes me to pack, the less time we have to fool around."
Thats true, he supposes. "You know, I do like just hanging out with you, too."
Rachel watches him lean back against the like 80 pillows she's got at the head of her bed, smiles at him as she folds a pair of jeans. "I suspected, but it's nice to hear you say it." Puck rolls his eyes. "We don't, after all, just spend all our time having sex."
He glares. "Not for the next week and a half, anyway," he mumbles.
"I think you'll survive without me," she says, hand on her hip as she looks at him. It's sort of patronizing, but he knows for a fact she's loving this, him complaining that she's leaving.
"What if I don't?"
She looks away and lets out a little breath, and he doesn't really get what that's about until she says, "That's actually…I worry."
He just furrows his brow. She's not making much sense. "About what?"
"You have a dangerous job," she says quietly. Oh, that.
"I'm safe."
"Anything could happen," she tells him, then sits down so she's facing him. "It's not easy, knowing you're at work and no one would even think to call me if something happened."
"Santana would."
Yeah, he definitely told Rachel that he let it slip to Santana, and she doesn't mind that he said something. "Still."
He wants to make her stop looking so fucking sad right now.
Sliding his hand up the inside of her thigh, he says, "If you wanna be the woman dating the hot firefighter, you gotta deal with the risk." Rachel rolls her eyes at him and doesn't look that happy, so obviously that joke didn't land.
"I…have some things invested in you getting home in one piece," she says, almost whispering, moving her thumb over his knuckles. "I care about you."
He says it back and doesn't even feel like a douchebag about it, so, you know. That sort of tells you where he stands.
… … …
Christmas is a gong show, as usual, and everyone spoils the fuck out of Charlie, as usual. She's the only grandkid ("for now," his mom keeps saying, and whatever) so she gets all the attention, and he knows she absolutely loves that. She's not materialistic, really, she just loves getting presents, no matter what they are. She's like her mother that way. And yeah, he's fucking great at picking out presents for both of them. Santana's easy, 'cause you just get her a good piece of jewelry and she's totally happy. Charlie's a bit harder, but she loves all the things he gets her.
He's in town three days before Rachel's back from visiting her dads, so that's interesting. Really he doesn't mind the time on his own, it'd just be nice to have it with her, too, since she's off and doesn't have to rush off to work or only come by every other weekend when they can sleep in.
He gets called in on an overtime shift, and those don't come around too often, so he heads to the station where he's needed and that at least kills 12 hours. He goes for a drink with Jake and this woman he's been seeing who…Puck does't want to be a prick, but Jake's a player and she's too good for him and what he's inevitably gonna put her through. And yeah, people've said that about Puck, too, but…
Well, he knows a good thing when he's got it.
… … …
Charlie and Santana are having a New Years thing, or whatever. Really it's just an excuse for both of them to have their friends over, and somehow that actually works out well for them. He has no idea how. Mostly, he thinks, Charlie and her friends stay in her bedroom watching the performances from New York, and Santana puts on music downstairs and keeps the champagne chilled in the fridge. It's not a huge bash or anything, but it's basically their yearly tradition, and he usually goes, too.
This year, he's got plans with Rachel. She gets back the 31st and drops her things at her house, invites him over and he gets her undressed before she can even unpack.
Santana texts to ask him what time he's coming over, and Rachel sees the message, which doesn't bother him at all.
"You should go," she tells him, and she doesn't sound like she's joking.
"What?" he asks, and she pulls away a bit. "No. We have plans."
"It's your daughter."
"I had breakfast with her this morning," he says, and Rachel just sighs. "If I wanted to go, I wouldn't have made plans with you."
Rachel lies back down next to him, lets him pull her closer. "You're sure she won't be upset?"
He chuckles a bit. "She'll spend the whole night with her friends in her room, thinking it's a big deal when Santana lets them toast with like a thimble full of champagne each." Rachel laughs a bit. "It's fine."
"Good," she says, then moves so she's on top of him, and the sheets fall down her back so they aren't covering her at all. Fuck. "How do you feel about not putting clothes on until tomorrow?"
His brow ticks up and his hands move to her hips. "Naked New Years?"
Rachel laughs until he kisses her.
… … …
What he's been expecting is that Charlie'll walk into his place sometime and find Rachel there. Not that she'll walk into his place looking more pissed than he's ever seen her, Santana following closely behind her.
Fuck.
"You're her boyfriend?" she says angrily, and Puck sighs and glances to Santana, who's just shaking her head like she had nothing to do with this revelation. "I saw your name come up on her phone."
He knows for a fact that Rachel's just got him saved as Noah in her phone. He also knows, though, that if Charlie - or anyone else - asked, she wouldn't lie about who it was.
He's not gonna lie to her either, but he's a bit annoyed that she's acting like she has any real say in the matter. For fuck's sake, he's not dating an axe murderer.
"Yes."
Yeah, she wasn't expecting that. She just stands there, and Santana's now next to her in his kitchen.
She just shouts, "Dad!" and then starts crying, and like. Fuck. What's he supposed to do about that? "How could you do that? You didn't even ask me!"
Okay, that pisses him off, and Santana's about to say something, but he cuts her off. "It's not your call, Charlie," he tells her, and he's not trying to be mean and he definitely doesn't sound mean. He's literally just talking to her. "I didn't need your opinion."
Santana puts her arm around their daughter and glares at him. "Jesus, Puck. Come on."
He knows she's on his side, really, or at least she knows that he's right. But yeah, maybe she wants him to be a bit more delicate with their emotional kid.
"Everyone was making fun of her the other day," Charlie says, and he's pretty sure it's just to hurt him, really. "Someone asked if she had a boyfriend and she wouldn't answer, so they kept on pushing and pushing until she was like red in the face." Puck clenches his teeth. He really hopes she wasn't in on that. And he wonders why Rachel didn't say anything. Well, he knows why, but. "Everyone's gonna flip out when they know she's dating my dad."
He wants to roll his eyes, but he works so hard not to. "When you get older you'll realize how much easier it is to just not care what people think." Charlie glares at him. "I'm being serious."
It hits him that she must not realize Santana knew, too. It'd be easy to throw her under the bus here, too, but he's not gonna do that. Mostly for Charlie. She doesn't need to think everyone she trusts was keeping shit from her.
"That doesn't help me now," she says, swiping at her eyes.
He does feel bad. Maybe he should have told her right away. But there's always the risk of telling her and it not working out, which is different now that she's older and she can understand more that sometimes dating someone doesn't always turn into a marriage. But there's the whole weird dynamic with her and Rachel anyway, and he just…He doesn't think there's a way he could have played this that wasn't somehow wrong.
"Charlie, they didn't like, conspire to make your life difficult," Santana says, and Charlie just sighs. Then she nods a bit and he passes her a tissue. So maybe they're getting somewhere.
"Did you say anything to Rachel?" he asks, and Charlie gives him a look that might as well be saying 'what the fuck'? "Ms. Berry."
"I know her first name," she says, like he's a total moron. It actually makes him laugh. "I didn't say anything. She told me it was you and I left choir practice and mom came to get me."
"Okay."
"It's not fair," Charlie pouts, looking at the counter. He honestly can't tell if she even means that. "And like, I've been talking to you about her."
"I know," Puck says. Fuck, he does feel bad about that, too.
Santana, the shit disturber, says, "So she thinks you don't like her, and you think she doesn't like you." She turns to Puck and Charlie sits down at the counter, so he thinks she's calming down a bit about everything. "Nice pick, Noah." Puck gives her the shitty look she deserves. "What's for dinner?"
So yeah, apparently they're staying, which is fine 'cause he'll just make some burgers and he's got a salad in the fridge from last night. He offers Santana a beer, but she asks for wine, which he thinks she does just to be contrary. Not at all surprising, really.
She has to get up and take a call just as he's mixing together the ingredients to make the burgers they all love (which, yeah, makes him feel awesome), so it's just him and Charlie in the kitchen. She's sitting there with a glass of water and some sweet potato chips in a bowl in front of her, and she sighs. Which obviously means she wants his attention so he looks up at her.
"So it's a thing, then?" she asks, and he doesn't know what she means, but he could probably guess. "You're like, in love with her?"
He doesn't mean to laugh, and it's more of a chuckle, really, because…She just has so much to learn, you know? "I'm not in love with her. But it's serious."
She thinks about that. "Is she in love with you?"
Puck clears his throat awkwardly - he fucking hears it and it's totally awkward - and sets his hands on the counter. "I don't think so," he answers, and Charlie's just looking at him like she's waiting for more. "It's serious."
"You already said that," she teases. He glares, but it's mostly playful now. "So you're gonna fall in love. Or you want to."
Puck sighs at her and they just stare at each other for a moment, and how the fuck does he explain to his daughter that, you know, you can be in a relationship and it can be serious and you can take a while to fall in love with someone, and maybe that won't even happen? He wants her to have healthy relationships - any kind of relationship - and he's struggling with a way to tell her that it's okay to just hang out with someone with no clear goals or commitment. He doesn't want to confuse the fuck out of her or make her think it's okay to settle for less than she wants and deserves. Plus, he and Rachel have had the conversation about being committed, and they are, and he's happy about that. Charlie has to know that people don't just go on a couple dates and bam they're in love. She's 12, for Christ's sake. She's not stupid.
So he says, "Yeah, that…seems to be where it's going."
And Charlie looks so fucking smug that she just got him to admit that, and honestly if there was ever any doubt she's got Santana's blood in her veins…
"I don't have to like her," Charlie says, and fuck, it'd be great if she could just get over it. He doesn't even believe she means that, necessarily.
But also. "I didn't ask you to."
They stare each other down again and she eventually asks if they can have bacon on their burgers, and yeah, damn, they're totally gonna be fine.
… … …
Getting Rachel to agree to meet him and Charlie for lunch is harder than he thought it'd be when he first had the idea. He really assumed she'd be all over it, wanting to spend time with them together, with Charlie outside of school and whatever. Like, fuck, they're dating and this is his kid, and he's not saying he thinks she doesn't realize that's important, it's just he thought he wouldn't have to convince her.
He gets there first with Charlie, and it's a Saturday and he realizes, though it's a stupid thing to be thinking about, that this may be the first time Rachel's seen Charlie out of her school uniform and the first time Charlie's seen Rachel in anything other than what she wears to work. Charlie's got on jeans and a grey sweater, the gold necklace he got her for Christmas fastened around her neck.
When they get to the table, she waits until he sits down first, then sits across from him, and seriously, she's being pretty calculated with that. He doesn't mention it, 'cause he'd rather this whole thing not start off more tense than it already is. She's feeling weird about seeing a teacher outside of school, and he gets that. It's definitely not something any kid ever plans for. And fuck, if his mom had like, dated his chem teacher or something, he probably would have flown off the handle.
She orders a milkshake and he gets glasses of water for both him and Rachel, and Charlie's looking at the menu when Rachel walks in. Puck can see her trying to figure out where she should sit, and whoever goes through her head she decides to sit next to him.
"Hi. I couldn't find parking. This area is crazy on Saturdays." Charlie's just looking at her, then looks at Puck, and maybe she's expecting them to kiss or something. "Hi Charlie."
"Hey." Charlie puts on a smile, but it wouldn't kill her to at least try to make it look like she wasn't forced to be here. She wasn't, first of all. He asked her if she'd be willing to come and she said yes pretty quickly, after a few questions about where they'd go and what they'd have for lunch. "I like your scarf."
Rachel smiles in a way that's so genuine Puck has to do it too. Charlie's actually being sincere and trying, and he appreciates it. Rachel does, too.
"Thank you. It was a gift, actually." She slants her eyes towards Puck and he does his best not to wink at her.
Charlie narrows her eyes. "From Dad?" Rachel nods a bit, laughs. Puck's just happy sitting here watching them. "Weird. His taste isn't that good."
Puck glares as the waiter brings their drinks. "Funny," he mumbles, and Charlie laughs and sips strawberry milkshake from a red and white striped straw.
Rachel opens her menu and says something about how she isn't sure what kind of food Charlie likes, but there's a sandwich here that's amazing and the sweet potato fries are best dipped in the house-made barbecue sauce. She says it like it's some kind of secret and Charlie smiles quickly then looks back to her menu again. When Puck glances at her, she looks up at him and rolls her eyes when she sees that he's pretty happy with how this is going. He's literally said one word since Rachel got here.
He presses his foot up against Rachel's under the table, sits back in his chair and takes a drink of water.
Look, he's not an idiot and he knows his kid. It's gonna take Charlie a while to get used to this, and that's totally fine. He's not gonna like, invite Rachel to stay overnight while Charlie's at his place. In part because Charlie's absolutely not there yet, and in part because he likes his one on one time with his daughter. Eventually, yeah, maybe they'll get to the point where they're all comfortable enough with things to do that, but for now it's fine by him if Charlie's just willing to do this thing where maybe they hang out with Rachel a couple hours at a time.
After they're finished lunch, they walk Rachel to her car, and she says, "I'll see you on Monday, Charlie," and Charlie just nods and gives a little smile, stuffs her hands in her pockets and waits while he opens the car door for Rachel and closes it behind her.