The OC Challenge Story
I was 'assigned' to write for Helen_C.
The sentence I picked was, "Summer finds out what Ryan's guilty pleasure is…"
Helen, I hope you're not disappointed.
Here it is, "The Magazine"
Summer finds out what Ryan's guilty pleasure is…
Ryan was in his bathroom brushing his teeth when he heard her familiar call. “Atwood? Hey, Atwood, where are you?”
He poked his head out, expecting to see Seth with her. He was surprised to see Summer standing in the middle of his pool house alone.
She waved a little at first, hesitantly. “Um, hi.”
Ryan automatically waved back, toothbrush in hand, waiting for Summer to say something. Instead, she looked around his room, waved a little again and rocked back and forth on her feet.
When it became obvious that she wasn’t going to offer any more information, without some prodding, he said, “Is there something wrong?”
“No, not wrong. It’s just…” Summer faltered a moment before blurting out a non-stop, continuous stream of words. “Look, we both know Sandy and Kirsten are gone for the day, and Seth and I were upstairs, and he realized at a very inappropriate time that he was out of, um - you know, and since he’s not dressed right now, he sent me out to ask if you had anything extra that we could maybe borrow, and you know…”
Ryan, already hearing more than he wanted to, pointed towards his nightstand, “In there,” and went back into his bathroom.
Shortly after Ryan finished flossing, he heard that oh-too-familiar, “EW!”
This was followed by another one. “EW!” Then louder, “EW! EW! EW!”
Suddenly Ryan remembered what else he had thrown into his nightstand and quickly ran out of the bathroom.
Sure enough, Summer was flipping through the pages. He grabbed it out of her hands, threw it back in the drawer and handed Summer the box of Trojans.
She was still babbling, “Oh My God! EW!” as he started to push her out of his room.
As Ryan was shutting the door on her face, Summer finally asked, “Do you do that? Have you ever? Oh My God, with Marissa? Have you ever done that with Marissa?”
Ryan locked the door and dropped the shades before going back into the bathroom to finish washing and dressing.
He looked out the window to make sure she was gone before he unlocked the door. Not seeing her, but knowing full well that meant she was upstairs telling Seth what she found, Ryan decided it was best if he left for a while, making sure he moved the magazine to the back of his closet before leaving.
Ryan would have stayed out all night if he could. Unfortunately before they left, Kirsten and Sandy said they would be back in the early evening, and ‘requested’ that he and Seth be home for dinner. The ‘request’ was in such a way, both boys knew that “no” was not an option.
He got home a little before six and found Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen, happily talking and making dinner together. With no Seth in sight, Ryan decided it would be safer if he stayed in the kitchen with them. That way when Seth got home, he wouldn’t be able to say anything to Ryan. Not in front of Kirsten and Sandy. Not even Seth could be that stupid to ask Ryan about the magazine in front of his parents.
After Ryan finished setting the table, he walked over to Kirsten and the salad she was making. “I could finish that for you, if you want.”
Kirsten smiled as she stuck a piece of cucumber in his mouth. “Thanks, Ryan, but I’m almost done. Why don’t you go tell Seth that dinner is almost ready?”
“Seth’s home?”
“Yes, he’s waiting for you in your room.”
“He’s in…” Ryan tried not to choke on the cucumber that was now lodged in his throat as he looked towards the pool house. The shades were still down, and Ryan knew that meant only one thing…
He quickly excused himself as he tried not to run to the pool house. He was hoping Seth didn’t go through his things. He hoped Seth only looked around once, quickly and then decided not to invade Ryan’s stuff. He knew he was hoping for a miracle.
Sure enough - there Seth sat in the middle of Ryan’s bed, flipping through the magazine. Ryan tried to grab it out of his hands, but damn if for once, Seth wasn’t faster.
“Dude? This is awesome. I cannot believe you would have such a fine piece of literature and not share!”
“Gimme that now, Seth!”
“Bro, just wow. Tell me, I see page 36 is folded over. Is it safe to assume that you’ve partaken in some page 36 fun?”
“Seth, give me the magazine now, and I won’t hurt you for going through my stuff.”
Ryan was talking through gritted teeth, but Seth was so absorbed in the magazine that he didn’t notice or seem to care how deadly serious Ryan was.
“What about page 24? That’s folded over, too. Just not as obviously used as page 36.”
“Seth!”
“Come on, Ryan! Share your expertise! Tell me about page 12, because page 12 is something I would really love to try.”
Ryan huffed loudly as Seth continued thumbing through the magazine and talking non-stop. “Oh, oh, oh - page 42! I totally forgot about Summer and page 42. She wants me to ask you about page 42 - if you could tell me about page 42. You know, explain it in detail, and dude, I do mean detail!”
“Seth! Shut up and give me the magazine now!”
“But, but, Ryan…” Seth held tight to the magazine as Ryan tried to rip it from his hands. It wasn’t until he finally punched Seth; giving him the ‘dead arm’ that Seth finally loosened his death grip. “OW!”
Unfortunately, the punch landed at the exact moment Sandy entered the pool house. “Boys, dinner… Hey! What’s going on?”
Ryan moved fast, stuffing the magazine under his mattress as Seth continued rubbing his newly sore shoulder, and Sandy folded his arms in front of him.
“Boys?”
“Nothing.” They answered in unison.
Sandy didn’t bother to ask again. He simply walked over to the side of Ryan’s bed and pulled out the magazine, fully expecting Play Boy or Penthouse. Instead he found…
“Bondage Babes? Would someone care to explain to me what a copy of Bondage Babes is doing in my house?”
Seth didn’t hesitate. “It’s Ryan’s.”
“Thanks a lot!” Ryan hissed as the look on his face let Seth know that just as soon as Sandy was gone, Ryan was going to get even. Painfully even.
Then Ryan turned to Sandy and surprised even himself at how quickly he could sound like Seth. “Honestly, Sandy - it’s an old magazine. Look at the date on the cover. It’s old. See, it’s from before I even moved to Newport. It’s from, you know, Chino.”
Sandy’s arms were folded again as those bushy eyebrows met in the middle of his frown. “And considering the fact that you were only 15 when you moved to Newport, that’s somehow supposed to make me feel better?”
Seth screeched, “It’s been here the whole time?”
Ryan blushed. “No, not really. It kind of came back with me when I moved back from Teresa’s. She kind of had it.”
“Teresa? Oh man, you lucky dog. I really need to go get some Chino old school education!”
Sandy finally unfolded his arms as he looked from Ryan to Seth back to Ryan. “I see now why you punched him.”
“Yeah - that and for going through my stuff.”
“Well, if you had just left it where Summer said it was…”
Sandy folded his arms again. “Summer? How does she know about this?”
Ryan immediately smirked. “It was in my nightstand when Summer came in to borrow a box of condoms.”
With arms still folded and the eyebrows again meeting in the middle, Sandy now looked at Seth. “An entire box? That’s very ambitious of you, son, but I take it that means you again broke the no sex in the house rule while your mother and I were out.”
“Um…”
Sandy stared at both boys - both extremely guilty looking boys. “Dinner in fifteen minutes.”
Ryan attempted one, “um, Sandy,” but Sandy’s “what?” stopped him from asking for the magazine back.
Seth and Ryan stood in the doorway, watching Sandy flipping through the magazine as he headed back into the kitchen and obviously began filling Kirsten in.
They both pretended to be looking at the window blinds when Kirsten’s head shot up and looked at them - with very narrow eyes.
As they moved away from the door, Ryan finally asked, “You think we’re in a lot of trouble?”
“Let’s see - you’ve been keeping an old S&M magazine in your room, and I’ve been having sex with Summer in my room. Yeah, I think we’re in trouble, especially with Mom.”
“You think they’ll want The Talk again?”
“Oh yeah. That would be a given.”
Ryan groaned remembering the last Talk, and then snapped, “Why couldn’t you have just asked me about it instead of going through my stuff?”
“You’ve been back home how long, and you never mentioned it? Yeah, dude, I’m the one who should be mad. With my fish sex history, that magazine could have really helped me.”
Seth stretched himself out on Ryan’s bed. “While they’re deciding our sentence, tell me about the magazine.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” Ryan repeatedly wrung his hands as he sat in the chair near the door and watched Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen. They seemed overly engrossed in that magazine. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing? Ryan, you’re in possession of Bondage Babes that your ex-girlfriend gave you, and there’s nothing to tell? Come on, spill!”
“Seth…”
Their conversation came to an abrupt end when Kirsten’s voice pierced through the night and made them both jump. “Boys! Dinner! Now!”
“That wasn’t fifteen minutes.” Ryan said.
“That’s not a good thing.” Seth whined.
As they both very slowly made their way to the kitchen, Ryan pushed Seth ahead of him.
Sandy and Kirsten were already sitting at the table, and with Seth entering the kitchen first, he took the seat furthest away from Kirsten, leaving Ryan stuck sitting next to her - yet another reason for Ryan to have to fight the urge to punch Seth.
Both boys earnestly studied the food on their plates as they waited for someone to say something.
When Kirsten finally cleared her throat, Seth dropped his fork and Ryan choked on his water.
She waited until Ryan was done coughing and Seth had gotten himself a new fork before she said, “So... what do you boys have planned for tonight?”
They looked at her first before looking at each other. Neither one of them said anything since they both knew it was a trap. Kirsten was obviously waiting for them to divulge their plans before telling them they were grounded.
Seth finally said, “um, tonight?” as Ryan shrugged his shoulders.
Sandy added, “Yes, boys, tonight. It’s Saturday night, and your mother was simply wondering what you had planned.”
“Isn’t tonight that concert at the Bait Shop? You know - with that new band that you keep talking about.” Kirsten reached over and patted the top of Ryan’s hand, which made him very uneasy.
Ryan could only shrug his shoulders again as he waited to see where this was really going. He wasn’t sure what the Bait Shop had to do with The Talk or why Kirsten was being so nice to them.
He decided it was best to remain silent and let Seth handle it. Seth again looked at Kirsten, waiting for her hammer to fall.
“Um, yes, Mother, that is correct. There is a concert at the Bait Shop tonight, and yes, again, Mother, it is a band that Ryan and I are both interested in.”
“Aren’t you boys going to be late?” Sandy said as he stared at Kirsten, with a truly unusual look on his face.
“Yes, you really should get going if you want to get there on time.” Kirsten agreed as she smiled at Sandy.
It was Seth’s turn to shrug his shoulders when Ryan looked at him; obviously, he wasn’t expecting that reaction either.
Ryan picked his plate up. “I guess we’ll go after we clean the kitchen.”
Kirsten moved quick, grabbing his plate and then Seth’s. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Sandy and I will clean up. We don’t want you boys to miss the start of the show.”
She came back to the table with her wallet and handed the boys $50 each. “Go. Hurry, or you’ll be late.”
“Um,” Ryan said. “Thanks. We’ll be home by curfew.”
“Oh…” Kirsten looked at Sandy who said, “Don’t worry about it if the band plays late. We know where you are, and you have your cell phones on you. It’s okay to be a little late. We’ll understand.”
Seth grabbed Ryan by his shirt. “Come on, dude,” he whispered when Ryan stood in the middle of the kitchen, trying to figure out what was going on. “If we don’t get out now, the real Sandy and Kirsten may return, and we’ll miss the show!”
They got as far as the front door before Seth realized his cell phone and wallet were upstairs. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”
As Ryan waited, he replayed the entire kitchen conversation in his head over and over again, trying to figure out where things went, well, not wrong - how they ended up not only going to the Bait Shop, but with $50 each and permission to miss curfew.
He was about to ask Seth as he came back down the stairs, but then they heard it - the giggling. They both heard the giggling.
Before they could get out of the house - they saw it, stopping them dead in their tracks.
Sandy was carrying Kirsten and Kirsten was carrying what appeared to be some rope, a spatula, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and the magazine, and she was nibbling on Sandy’s ear.
“Oh…boys! You’re still here!!” Sandy tried not to drop Kirsten as he let her out of his arms and as she tried to hide what she was carrying behind her back.
“I forgot my wallet and cell phone,” Seth whimpered, not exactly thrilled with finally understanding why his parents wanted them out of the house so fast.
“We’re leaving now. Right now.” Ryan pushed Seth out the door, shutting it and the ‘rents behind them.
Seth was still whimpering. “They were… Oh My God… That was…”
“Yeah, page 69.”
“Page 69 - you sure?”
“Oh yeah - that was definitely page 69.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Me, too.”
“I think I’d rather be grounded than scarred for life.”
“You’re not scarred.”
“Dude - the ‘rents, page 69 - I’m scarred. Trust me, I’m scarred.”
Ryan tried not to burn rubber as he pulled out of the driveway, wanting desperately to forget what they had left behind. Seth, on the other hand, seemed obsessed with talking about it.
“Aren’t they a little old? I hope no one gets hurt. I mean, how can Mom call 911 if Dad has a heart attack? Can you just picture it?”
“Seth! Stop talking about it, otherwise it’s going to be even harder to live in the same house as…” Ryan could only point in the direction of home. He simply wasn’t ready to say their names yet. Not yet.
“Aren’t you thinking about it?”
“I’m trying really hard not to, so please shut up!”
Seth actually remained quiet - for a whole minute. “Just so you know, I’m sleeping with you tonight. Tomorrow night, too. Hell, I may tell Bondage Mom to put two beds in the pool house.”
“First of all - no, you’re not. And second, don’t say ‘bondage mom’. Ever! That’s gross.”
“I can’t sleep in the same house as them, knowing what they’re doing in there! Which reminds me, how can you be so sure that was page 69?”
Ryan’s side-ways look said it all, as did his silence.
“Oh, man, that makes me officially the only Cohen without page 69 action. Wait until I tell Summer.”
Ryan slammed on the brakes so he could give Seth his full facial glare. “No! Just no. We’re not talking about this ever again. Not to each other, not to your parents and not to Summer!”
“Why not Summer? After all, Summer is the one who found out what your guilty pleasure was…”
The End.
PS - I do not plan on Dawn-ing the other sentences yet.
The sentence I picked was, "Summer finds out what Ryan's guilty pleasure is…"
Helen, I hope you're not disappointed.
Here it is, "The Magazine"
Summer finds out what Ryan's guilty pleasure is…
Ryan was in his bathroom brushing his teeth when he heard her familiar call. “Atwood? Hey, Atwood, where are you?”
He poked his head out, expecting to see Seth with her. He was surprised to see Summer standing in the middle of his pool house alone.
She waved a little at first, hesitantly. “Um, hi.”
Ryan automatically waved back, toothbrush in hand, waiting for Summer to say something. Instead, she looked around his room, waved a little again and rocked back and forth on her feet.
When it became obvious that she wasn’t going to offer any more information, without some prodding, he said, “Is there something wrong?”
“No, not wrong. It’s just…” Summer faltered a moment before blurting out a non-stop, continuous stream of words. “Look, we both know Sandy and Kirsten are gone for the day, and Seth and I were upstairs, and he realized at a very inappropriate time that he was out of, um - you know, and since he’s not dressed right now, he sent me out to ask if you had anything extra that we could maybe borrow, and you know…”
Ryan, already hearing more than he wanted to, pointed towards his nightstand, “In there,” and went back into his bathroom.
Shortly after Ryan finished flossing, he heard that oh-too-familiar, “EW!”
This was followed by another one. “EW!” Then louder, “EW! EW! EW!”
Suddenly Ryan remembered what else he had thrown into his nightstand and quickly ran out of the bathroom.
Sure enough, Summer was flipping through the pages. He grabbed it out of her hands, threw it back in the drawer and handed Summer the box of Trojans.
She was still babbling, “Oh My God! EW!” as he started to push her out of his room.
As Ryan was shutting the door on her face, Summer finally asked, “Do you do that? Have you ever? Oh My God, with Marissa? Have you ever done that with Marissa?”
Ryan locked the door and dropped the shades before going back into the bathroom to finish washing and dressing.
He looked out the window to make sure she was gone before he unlocked the door. Not seeing her, but knowing full well that meant she was upstairs telling Seth what she found, Ryan decided it was best if he left for a while, making sure he moved the magazine to the back of his closet before leaving.
Ryan would have stayed out all night if he could. Unfortunately before they left, Kirsten and Sandy said they would be back in the early evening, and ‘requested’ that he and Seth be home for dinner. The ‘request’ was in such a way, both boys knew that “no” was not an option.
He got home a little before six and found Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen, happily talking and making dinner together. With no Seth in sight, Ryan decided it would be safer if he stayed in the kitchen with them. That way when Seth got home, he wouldn’t be able to say anything to Ryan. Not in front of Kirsten and Sandy. Not even Seth could be that stupid to ask Ryan about the magazine in front of his parents.
After Ryan finished setting the table, he walked over to Kirsten and the salad she was making. “I could finish that for you, if you want.”
Kirsten smiled as she stuck a piece of cucumber in his mouth. “Thanks, Ryan, but I’m almost done. Why don’t you go tell Seth that dinner is almost ready?”
“Seth’s home?”
“Yes, he’s waiting for you in your room.”
“He’s in…” Ryan tried not to choke on the cucumber that was now lodged in his throat as he looked towards the pool house. The shades were still down, and Ryan knew that meant only one thing…
He quickly excused himself as he tried not to run to the pool house. He was hoping Seth didn’t go through his things. He hoped Seth only looked around once, quickly and then decided not to invade Ryan’s stuff. He knew he was hoping for a miracle.
Sure enough - there Seth sat in the middle of Ryan’s bed, flipping through the magazine. Ryan tried to grab it out of his hands, but damn if for once, Seth wasn’t faster.
“Dude? This is awesome. I cannot believe you would have such a fine piece of literature and not share!”
“Gimme that now, Seth!”
“Bro, just wow. Tell me, I see page 36 is folded over. Is it safe to assume that you’ve partaken in some page 36 fun?”
“Seth, give me the magazine now, and I won’t hurt you for going through my stuff.”
Ryan was talking through gritted teeth, but Seth was so absorbed in the magazine that he didn’t notice or seem to care how deadly serious Ryan was.
“What about page 24? That’s folded over, too. Just not as obviously used as page 36.”
“Seth!”
“Come on, Ryan! Share your expertise! Tell me about page 12, because page 12 is something I would really love to try.”
Ryan huffed loudly as Seth continued thumbing through the magazine and talking non-stop. “Oh, oh, oh - page 42! I totally forgot about Summer and page 42. She wants me to ask you about page 42 - if you could tell me about page 42. You know, explain it in detail, and dude, I do mean detail!”
“Seth! Shut up and give me the magazine now!”
“But, but, Ryan…” Seth held tight to the magazine as Ryan tried to rip it from his hands. It wasn’t until he finally punched Seth; giving him the ‘dead arm’ that Seth finally loosened his death grip. “OW!”
Unfortunately, the punch landed at the exact moment Sandy entered the pool house. “Boys, dinner… Hey! What’s going on?”
Ryan moved fast, stuffing the magazine under his mattress as Seth continued rubbing his newly sore shoulder, and Sandy folded his arms in front of him.
“Boys?”
“Nothing.” They answered in unison.
Sandy didn’t bother to ask again. He simply walked over to the side of Ryan’s bed and pulled out the magazine, fully expecting Play Boy or Penthouse. Instead he found…
“Bondage Babes? Would someone care to explain to me what a copy of Bondage Babes is doing in my house?”
Seth didn’t hesitate. “It’s Ryan’s.”
“Thanks a lot!” Ryan hissed as the look on his face let Seth know that just as soon as Sandy was gone, Ryan was going to get even. Painfully even.
Then Ryan turned to Sandy and surprised even himself at how quickly he could sound like Seth. “Honestly, Sandy - it’s an old magazine. Look at the date on the cover. It’s old. See, it’s from before I even moved to Newport. It’s from, you know, Chino.”
Sandy’s arms were folded again as those bushy eyebrows met in the middle of his frown. “And considering the fact that you were only 15 when you moved to Newport, that’s somehow supposed to make me feel better?”
Seth screeched, “It’s been here the whole time?”
Ryan blushed. “No, not really. It kind of came back with me when I moved back from Teresa’s. She kind of had it.”
“Teresa? Oh man, you lucky dog. I really need to go get some Chino old school education!”
Sandy finally unfolded his arms as he looked from Ryan to Seth back to Ryan. “I see now why you punched him.”
“Yeah - that and for going through my stuff.”
“Well, if you had just left it where Summer said it was…”
Sandy folded his arms again. “Summer? How does she know about this?”
Ryan immediately smirked. “It was in my nightstand when Summer came in to borrow a box of condoms.”
With arms still folded and the eyebrows again meeting in the middle, Sandy now looked at Seth. “An entire box? That’s very ambitious of you, son, but I take it that means you again broke the no sex in the house rule while your mother and I were out.”
“Um…”
Sandy stared at both boys - both extremely guilty looking boys. “Dinner in fifteen minutes.”
Ryan attempted one, “um, Sandy,” but Sandy’s “what?” stopped him from asking for the magazine back.
Seth and Ryan stood in the doorway, watching Sandy flipping through the magazine as he headed back into the kitchen and obviously began filling Kirsten in.
They both pretended to be looking at the window blinds when Kirsten’s head shot up and looked at them - with very narrow eyes.
As they moved away from the door, Ryan finally asked, “You think we’re in a lot of trouble?”
“Let’s see - you’ve been keeping an old S&M magazine in your room, and I’ve been having sex with Summer in my room. Yeah, I think we’re in trouble, especially with Mom.”
“You think they’ll want The Talk again?”
“Oh yeah. That would be a given.”
Ryan groaned remembering the last Talk, and then snapped, “Why couldn’t you have just asked me about it instead of going through my stuff?”
“You’ve been back home how long, and you never mentioned it? Yeah, dude, I’m the one who should be mad. With my fish sex history, that magazine could have really helped me.”
Seth stretched himself out on Ryan’s bed. “While they’re deciding our sentence, tell me about the magazine.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” Ryan repeatedly wrung his hands as he sat in the chair near the door and watched Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen. They seemed overly engrossed in that magazine. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing? Ryan, you’re in possession of Bondage Babes that your ex-girlfriend gave you, and there’s nothing to tell? Come on, spill!”
“Seth…”
Their conversation came to an abrupt end when Kirsten’s voice pierced through the night and made them both jump. “Boys! Dinner! Now!”
“That wasn’t fifteen minutes.” Ryan said.
“That’s not a good thing.” Seth whined.
As they both very slowly made their way to the kitchen, Ryan pushed Seth ahead of him.
Sandy and Kirsten were already sitting at the table, and with Seth entering the kitchen first, he took the seat furthest away from Kirsten, leaving Ryan stuck sitting next to her - yet another reason for Ryan to have to fight the urge to punch Seth.
Both boys earnestly studied the food on their plates as they waited for someone to say something.
When Kirsten finally cleared her throat, Seth dropped his fork and Ryan choked on his water.
She waited until Ryan was done coughing and Seth had gotten himself a new fork before she said, “So... what do you boys have planned for tonight?”
They looked at her first before looking at each other. Neither one of them said anything since they both knew it was a trap. Kirsten was obviously waiting for them to divulge their plans before telling them they were grounded.
Seth finally said, “um, tonight?” as Ryan shrugged his shoulders.
Sandy added, “Yes, boys, tonight. It’s Saturday night, and your mother was simply wondering what you had planned.”
“Isn’t tonight that concert at the Bait Shop? You know - with that new band that you keep talking about.” Kirsten reached over and patted the top of Ryan’s hand, which made him very uneasy.
Ryan could only shrug his shoulders again as he waited to see where this was really going. He wasn’t sure what the Bait Shop had to do with The Talk or why Kirsten was being so nice to them.
He decided it was best to remain silent and let Seth handle it. Seth again looked at Kirsten, waiting for her hammer to fall.
“Um, yes, Mother, that is correct. There is a concert at the Bait Shop tonight, and yes, again, Mother, it is a band that Ryan and I are both interested in.”
“Aren’t you boys going to be late?” Sandy said as he stared at Kirsten, with a truly unusual look on his face.
“Yes, you really should get going if you want to get there on time.” Kirsten agreed as she smiled at Sandy.
It was Seth’s turn to shrug his shoulders when Ryan looked at him; obviously, he wasn’t expecting that reaction either.
Ryan picked his plate up. “I guess we’ll go after we clean the kitchen.”
Kirsten moved quick, grabbing his plate and then Seth’s. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Sandy and I will clean up. We don’t want you boys to miss the start of the show.”
She came back to the table with her wallet and handed the boys $50 each. “Go. Hurry, or you’ll be late.”
“Um,” Ryan said. “Thanks. We’ll be home by curfew.”
“Oh…” Kirsten looked at Sandy who said, “Don’t worry about it if the band plays late. We know where you are, and you have your cell phones on you. It’s okay to be a little late. We’ll understand.”
Seth grabbed Ryan by his shirt. “Come on, dude,” he whispered when Ryan stood in the middle of the kitchen, trying to figure out what was going on. “If we don’t get out now, the real Sandy and Kirsten may return, and we’ll miss the show!”
They got as far as the front door before Seth realized his cell phone and wallet were upstairs. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”
As Ryan waited, he replayed the entire kitchen conversation in his head over and over again, trying to figure out where things went, well, not wrong - how they ended up not only going to the Bait Shop, but with $50 each and permission to miss curfew.
He was about to ask Seth as he came back down the stairs, but then they heard it - the giggling. They both heard the giggling.
Before they could get out of the house - they saw it, stopping them dead in their tracks.
Sandy was carrying Kirsten and Kirsten was carrying what appeared to be some rope, a spatula, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and the magazine, and she was nibbling on Sandy’s ear.
“Oh…boys! You’re still here!!” Sandy tried not to drop Kirsten as he let her out of his arms and as she tried to hide what she was carrying behind her back.
“I forgot my wallet and cell phone,” Seth whimpered, not exactly thrilled with finally understanding why his parents wanted them out of the house so fast.
“We’re leaving now. Right now.” Ryan pushed Seth out the door, shutting it and the ‘rents behind them.
Seth was still whimpering. “They were… Oh My God… That was…”
“Yeah, page 69.”
“Page 69 - you sure?”
“Oh yeah - that was definitely page 69.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Me, too.”
“I think I’d rather be grounded than scarred for life.”
“You’re not scarred.”
“Dude - the ‘rents, page 69 - I’m scarred. Trust me, I’m scarred.”
Ryan tried not to burn rubber as he pulled out of the driveway, wanting desperately to forget what they had left behind. Seth, on the other hand, seemed obsessed with talking about it.
“Aren’t they a little old? I hope no one gets hurt. I mean, how can Mom call 911 if Dad has a heart attack? Can you just picture it?”
“Seth! Stop talking about it, otherwise it’s going to be even harder to live in the same house as…” Ryan could only point in the direction of home. He simply wasn’t ready to say their names yet. Not yet.
“Aren’t you thinking about it?”
“I’m trying really hard not to, so please shut up!”
Seth actually remained quiet - for a whole minute. “Just so you know, I’m sleeping with you tonight. Tomorrow night, too. Hell, I may tell Bondage Mom to put two beds in the pool house.”
“First of all - no, you’re not. And second, don’t say ‘bondage mom’. Ever! That’s gross.”
“I can’t sleep in the same house as them, knowing what they’re doing in there! Which reminds me, how can you be so sure that was page 69?”
Ryan’s side-ways look said it all, as did his silence.
“Oh, man, that makes me officially the only Cohen without page 69 action. Wait until I tell Summer.”
Ryan slammed on the brakes so he could give Seth his full facial glare. “No! Just no. We’re not talking about this ever again. Not to each other, not to your parents and not to Summer!”
“Why not Summer? After all, Summer is the one who found out what your guilty pleasure was…”
The End.
PS - I do not plan on Dawn-ing the other sentences yet.