to live the day once more
to live the day once more
Yunho/Changmin
AU/Fluff/Romance/bits of Drama; PG-13
5,440 words.
Yunho comes back from the army around Christmas time, and Changmin and he must learn how to deal with a new beginning.
Written for isaofdoom at homin-yongwonhi's 2011 Secret Santa Fic Exchange. Her prompt was Changmin attempting to cook the perfect Christmas dinner, with ridiculous sweaters and ugly, festive neckties. ♥
When Changmin learns of Yunho’s decision to enlist at the end of 2009, he thinks it might be a good idea to enlist as well. But management simply refuses to let him go, stating that having both remaining members of Dong Bang Shin Ki gone for two years is just not “good business.”
So Changmin quietly says his goodbyes to Yunho and wishes him good luck. He silently hopes that when he returns, Yunho’s shoulders will be a little less slumped and his face will be a little more inclined to smile like the way he used to smile.
He doesn’t tell Yunho how, for the first time in almost six years, he feels completely alone.
-
It’s 2011 and two weeks before Christmas when Changmin gets a text from Yunho.
‘I’ll be out in a week. See you in the dorm?’
‘Sure.’
-
He spends the next two days cleaning their dorm. He’s never been much of a messy person, but he’s left items strewn around the place large enough to fit five people (management had wanted to wait until Yunho came back to move) in an attempt to make the apartment look a bit more lived in.
Changmin doesn’t bother cleaning Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun’s room; he hasn’t been inside since they’ve moved out.
He puts most of his time into cleaning Yunho and his room. Changmin had occasionally taken and used some of Yunho’s clothing, accessories, and electronics just to have it feel like he wasn’t by himself, and he’s not sure if he wants Yunho to know.
When he comes across a partially wrapped box in the corner of Yunho’s closet, Changmin’s curious enough to open it. It’s been two years - there’s no reason to think it might still be important.
Inside, Changmin finds two Christmas sweaters folded neatly, with a cookbook for the perfect Christmas dinner lying on top. There are post-its sticking out from the book, and one is stuck right on the front cover. PRACTICE. PRACTICE! PRACTICE!!! changmin will kill you otherwise T__T (after he finishes puking up what he managed to swallow).
The illegible handwriting makes it clear that the cookbook belongs to Yunho, and Changmin has to laugh at how Yunho had thought he, of all people, would actually manage to cook. It’d be more believable to think Changmin would actually wear the ugly sweaters Yunho had bought, and Changmin’s just barely able to stop himself from throwing them into the nearest trashcan.
After he finally manages to stop giggling at the image of Yunho being all frantic in front of the stove, Changmin has to smile; he’d missed this - it’s been a while since the last time he’d laughed at Yunho.
He flips through the book and mentally makes notes of the ones Yunho had particularly seemed drawn to - stars and happy faces seemed to have been his method of reminding himself which ones he’d thought Changmin would like, with hearts marking the ones he’d eventually settled on trying to cook.
This will be Yunho’s Christmas gift, Changmin thinks.
-
Once university lets him out for the holidays the next week, Changmin goes straight to the supermarket and tries his best to find all the ingredients he needs. Despite living alone for the past two years, he’s never learned to cook; management had hired a cleaning lady who’d also cooked to come in every other day to cook for him, and he’d also learned the best places to call for take-out. The one thing he knows how to make is spaghetti carbonara, but since it’s not a Christmas dish, Changmin has to put it aside.
The drinks are easily to find - with Christmas coming up, the market had marked an aisle specifically for holiday drinks, so the first thing Changmin picks up is cranberry juice. Since he already has wine glasses back at the dorm, he crosses off the glasses on his list and heads towards the next item he needs.
By the time he gets home, Changmin has spent more money on food in one day than he has in the past two years. It takes a while to unload all the bags, get them into the apartment, and put them into the refrigerator, and Changmin is exhausted once everything is in its right place. The cookbook’s open on the kitchen counter, with his notes covering the recipes, and when Changmin walks over to it, he suddenly hears the front door open, and he freezes. Other than himself, only Yunho has the key to the dorm, and he’s not supposed to be back yet.
There are an audible sigh and the thud of a bag hitting the floor, and then Changmin hears a heavy body flop onto the couch in the living room. He doesn’t dare move - he has no idea who the person is. Soon he notices soft snores, and he starts to slowly, quietly move to the living room; the first thing he sees is the head resting on the couch cushion, and Changmin’s heart starts to pound when he makes out the all too familiar nose and lips.
“Yunho,” he breathes out.
Changmin’s next to him before he knows it, and he has to stop himself from lifting his hand and running a finger down Yunho’s scar on his cheek. He settles for ghosting a hand over his short hair, eyes blurring as he kneels down on the floor. Yunho hasn’t changed his cologne, and as he inhales the smell, for the first time in almost two years, Changmin doesn’t feel so alone.
Just as he’s about to get up, Yunho stirs and opens his eyes. “Changmin?” he softly asks.
He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks away his tears before he smiles, just a little, and replies, “Hi, hyung.”
-
It’s funny, Changmin muses as he warms up some soup in the kitchen, how Yunho’s face looks smaller than ever but his body has more muscle mass now than he’s ever had. Before he’d gone to shower, Yunho had drawn him into a hug, and Changmin had been surprised at just how very hard Yunho’s body was.
He’s placing the bowl of soup onto the kitchen table with a spoon when Yunho comes in, hair sprinkled with water and face flushed.
“Did you make that?” Yunho asks, surprised.
Changmin has to snort. “No, of course not. The cleaning slash cooking lady made it. Do I look like I cook?”
“Ahh,” Yunho says as he pulls out a chair and sits down. He takes a sip, and his eyes closes, expression filling with pleasure. “I missed seafood jjiggae so much. We usually get budae jjiggae - if we even get jjiggae at all.”
“Budae jjiggae?” Changmin asks curiously, leaning against the counter. “I’ve seen it in restaurants, but I’ve never tried it. Is it really as… weird tasting as people say it is?”
“Yeah, it’s just mostly pieces of ham, onion, and vegetables like mushrooms or bean sprouts. I bet restaurants put beef and lettuce in the jjiggae and flavor it well though,” Yunho sighs. “I wonder how I managed to not starve.”
“Stop exaggerating,” he has to laugh. “You know as well as I do that the army feeds you guys well.”
Yunho just shrugs, a smile playing on his lips, and finishes his soup.
Silence drops lightly between them, broken only sometimes by Yunho’s slurps. For some reason, the two years feel like they never happened, with the way Changmin and Yunho easily fall back into how they normally act with each other - except for the fact neither of them have brought up Jaejoong, Junsu, or Yoochun.
It’s as if those three names are lying on the middle of a frozen pond, where the ice is thinnest, and the two of them are unwilling to go any closer, not wanting to risk falling through to the chilly water below.
“If you don’t know how to cook,” Yunho suddenly asks, “why do you have so many grocery bags around?”
Oh shit, Changmin thinks. He’s forgotten Yunho can be surprisingly perceptive at times. “Ah,” he begins. “The cooking lady likes for me to buy stuff I’d like her to make, so she wouldn’t have to guess all the time.”
Twirling his spoon around in his hand, Yunho doesn’t say anything for a moment, eyes searching Changmin’s face. “Hmmm,” he says. “You’ve never been a good liar, Changmin-ah.”
I wouldn’t have to lie if you came back when you said you would, Changmin crossly thinks. “Well,” he defensively says, “why are you back so early?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Yunho sing songs.
When Changmin gives him a look of disbelief, almost silently asking really, hyung?, Yunho throws back his head and laughs, eyes crinkling and teeth flashing, face lighting up just like it used to - and for the second time in one day, Changmin feels his eyes fill up. The last time he’d seen Yunho was the day he enlisted, and the smile he’d sent Changmin was one of his practiced smiles, empty of any real feeling.
“Sorry,” Changmin mutters as he turns around to face the kitchen sink. “Something got in my eye.”
He hears Yunho put down his spoon with a clink, push back with his chair, and softly walk over. When he pushes away from the sink and tries to turn to the table without Yunho seeing his face, he hears Yunho sigh and quietly say, “Changmin, look at me.”
Ever since he first entered Dong Bang Shin Ki, Changmin has always had a soft spot for this hyung, making it hard to refuse any of his requests. Time hasn’t changed anything, so Changmin slowly faces him, eyes toward the ground. Yunho’s barefoot, Changmin belatedly notices.
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Yunho lift his arms and drape them around his shoulders. In the next moment, he’s against Yunho’s chest, nose buried in his shirt and hands clutching the back. I missed you, he wants to say. I missed you so much. But he’s never been good with words, and so they stick in his throat, unwilling to come out no matter how much he compulsively swallows.
Yunho has almost always known him the best, able to guess at what he wants to say with a single glance at his face. So when he buries his nose into Changmin’s neck and softly says, “I missed you too,” Changmin lets go of the tight rein he has on his tears and simply collapses, back almost bowed in half as he hides his face in Yunho’s shirt.
Yunho wordlessly lets him cry out the past two years, one hand tangled in Changmin’s hair and the other gently stroking up and down his back.
-
Changmin wakes up early in bed the next morning and wonders how he got there. As he turns around to look at the clock, he comes face to face to Yunho, and he goes, oh. Yunho had gently pulled him to bed once he’d finished crying, and they’d made love. Last night had been a catharsis of sorts for both of them, with Yunho murmuring into his ear once he’d come, I feel like I’m home again, and it was Changmin who’d pulled the other into his arms.
There’s no hesitation this time when Changmin raises his hand and traces Yunho’s cheek scar. His finger ends up tracing Yunho’s bottom lip, and just as he’s about to pull away, Yunho lightly bites him.
“Good morning,” Yunho mumbles without opening his eyes. “Why are you up so early?”
“Habit,” Changmin says. “Aren’t you supposed to be used to waking up early as well?”
Yunho’s eyes open. “You tired me out last night,” he teases.
Changmin can’t stop his cheeks from heating up, and in an effort to regain his dignity, he gets out of bed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, without looking at Yunho. “No idea at all.”
He walks into the bathroom with a smile on his lips and Yunho’s laughter ringing in his ears.
-
The next few days are spent mostly in the dorm; they take the time to relearn each other, because despite how well the first day together was, two years still leave their mark. Changmin endures an hour of Yunho exploring his body (“Stop licking my nipples, they’re not sensitive any - oh my god - wait, ah - wait! Ah!”), and he tries to take his revenge by doing the same, except to learn that Yunho’s self-control has grown in the abstinence of two years.
Changmin’s touched when he sees Yunho’s eagerness in eating his spaghetti carbonara the day he makes it, and he throws himself into practicing for Yunho’s Christmas dinner even more.
It’s three days before Christmas, Yunho’s out with friends (he’d tried to pull Changmin out with him, but no, I’m good, hyung. I have to study for a quiz the day I go back to university), and Changmin’s cooking. He’s been in the kitchen more times the past week than he can ever remember, and he’s grumbling things to himself like “Yunho-hyung better appreciate this” and “why am I even doing this again” when his cell phone rings and Yunho’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hey hyung,” he says, picking up.
‘Changmin! Would you mind opening the front door? My hands are full, and I can’t reach my keys.’
He doesn’t want to admit it, but Changmin’s a bit scared of what Yunho’s bought. “All right, I’ll be there in a second.”
As soon as he hangs up, he runs around, sticking this pot in the sink and that pan in the refrigerator and pouring a cranberry sauce in a nearby container and the rest of a marinade in a clean bowl. He lets out a breath once he’s at the front door. “That was a close call,” he sighs.
Changmin opens the door, and Yunho comes through with a stupid grin on his face, arms carrying two bags of clothing. While Yunho continues walking to the living room, Changmin closes the door and follows - “What did you buy, hyung?” he slowly asks.
Yunho merely beckons, still smiling, sitting on the couch, and once Changmin’s next to him, he overturns the bags. Colorful ties tumble out, and Changmin can’t speak for the sheer horror he’s feeling. Yunho bought a bunch of Christmas ties. Holiday ties are already inherently ugly, but Changmin thinks these just might be the ugliest he’s ever seen. They might even be uglier than the Christmas sweaters he’d found in Yunho’s closet.
“Hyung,” he manages to choke out, “what are these?” He doesn’t wait for Yunho to answer when he picks two up and sticks them in Yunho’s face. “Why in the name of all that’s holy did you buy ties of the same design but in different colors?”
“Because,” Yunho starts, pushing Changmin’s hands away, “I thought the snowman was cute. He’s cute, isn’t he?” When Changmin opens his mouth again, he rushes on to say, with an apologetic note in his voice, “And, I was thinking these could be your Christmas gift. I couldn’t get you anything the last two years, so I bought more than just one.”
There’s an absurd laugh about to come out of Changmin’s throat, and he has to cough several times to get rid of it. What is with Yunho’s obsession with ugly Christmas clothing? Sometimes Changmin thinks Yunho’s under the misconception that holiday fashion’s supposed to be cheerful and fun when, in reality, they make him want to poke his own eye out.
Changmin has to sigh. “Thank you, hyung. I appreciate the gesture.”
“Then does that mean you’ll wear them on Christmas day?”
The urge to burn the cookbook currently hiding in the pantry hits him, and Changmin can’t think of any reason not to do it.
Except, of course, that it’s Yunho’s Christmas gift and Changmin’s actually looking forward to surprising him with his own present.
God, the things he does for this man.
-
Later that night, Changmin comes out from the bathroom, freshly showered, to see Yunho standing in front of the door of Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun’s room, hand rising to the door knob. When he hesitates and pulls back, Changmin doesn’t say anything. When he clenches a hand and raises the other to open the door, Changmin stays silent. And when he slowly takes a step inside, face stoic and shoulders squared, Changmin walks away.
There are some things Changmin knows Yunho would rather face by himself, and he thinks this is one of them.
-
Yunho comes to bed an hour later, and he wraps his arms around Changmin a little tighter than normal. Changmin puts down his novel, loosely draping his arms around Yunho’s shoulders, and quietly asks, “Feel better?”
There’s a burst of air across the back of his neck as Yunho lets out a breath. “A little,” he admits. “I’ve been avoiding talking about them - as I’m sure you’ve noticed - and when you were showering, I suddenly thought that it’s the right time to really let in the fact they’re not here anymore.”
“Nothing like seeing their empty room to really bring it home,” Changmin agrees.
Yunho’s nose nudges Changmin’s collarbone as he nods. He squeezes Changmin a little before he takes a breath, lets it out, and says, “I’m sorry I left you back when you needed me, Changmin-ah. I -”
Changmin interrupts him before he can get everything out. “Have you been feeling guilty about it all this while?” At Yunho’s nod, he continues, “I’ll admit that I was angry at you right when you first left; it was a complete disaster when everyone realized the five of us were breaking up, and I… felt a bit betrayed that you weren’t there with me.” He can’t really breathe with how tightly Yunho’s holding him. “And yes, I did feel alone. My mini-album didn’t work out that well, and neither did my first time trying out acting.”
When he pauses to take a breath, Yunho lets out in a rush, “I know, that’s why I’m sorry -”
“But, I think the separation really did us some good, hyung,” Changmin says, acting as if he didn’t hear Yunho. “You got to breathe and get away from all the stress, and I got to try out some of that ‘normal’ lifestyle I always said I wanted.”
There’s a bit of a silence when he finishes, and he thinks it’s because Yunho’s trying to understand what he just said. “I’ll say it again, Yunho-hyung. I don’t blame you for leaving,” Changmin says.
Five minutes pass before Yunho speaks again, and when he does, it’s a simple, quiet, “Thank you.”
-
When Changmin wakes up before Yunho the next morning, he’s not surprised, seeing how Yunho went through a bit of emotional distress last night. He takes the chance to take out one of the Christmas sweaters and places it next to Yunho’s head on the pillow. He writes a note, sticks it on top of the sweater, and walks out, almost giggling in his glee.
Hyung -
I found this in your closet. To make up for my emotional distress the last two years, you must wear this today. No excuses. >:| At all. >:(
-
Yunho enters the living room, dressed in the green, almost feminine looking sweater. Trying to hold back his laughter, Changmin waits for Yunho to complain, but as minutes pass without a single grumble, he’s curious enough to ask, “Hyung, how’s the sweater?”
There’s a surprised expression on Yunho’s face. “I like it, it’s warm. That’s why I bought it in the first place anyway.”
Just as Changmin’s about to go what, hyung, have you even looked at the design, it looks so girly, Yunho’s cell phone rings. Having finally heard of his return, management asks them to come in today for a meeting, and when Yunho consents, Changmin stands up to bring his bowl of cereal into the kitchen and to get dressed. It’s been a while since he’d had an official meeting with management, since he hasn’t had schedules for about a year.
-
On the way to SME, Changmin stays quiet, and to his surprise, Yunho does too. As their van pulls into the parking lot, Yunho reaches over and squeezes Changmin’s hand, glancing at Changmin’s face with a small smile on his face. His hand is cold, and he lets go as soon as the car stops moving. It’s almost as if he thinks Changmin is nervous.
This hyung, Changmin thinks with a shake of his head. After he gets out of the van and is about to start walking to the front of the building, Yunho in front of him, he takes a quick step to end up standing next to Yunho - he then leans over and whispers in Yunho’s ear, “I’m not nervous, hyung, but it feels like you are.”
Yunho starts a bit at that, but he quickly recovers. And as he turns his head to face Changmin, there is a blinding smile on his face, one that makes Changmin want to smile as well.
Their manager, already opening the building door, shouts at them to hurry up, they’re about to be late. Before Yunho begins to head toward the door, he quickly mouths to Changmin, You wish.
Changmin has to hide his smile behind a hand, but when he realizes he can’t stop smiling, he gives up.
-
They get home a few hours later, and Changmin can’t think through management’s announcement.
“I don’t know,” he says for the tenth time in the past hour. “I don’t know what to think about promoting by ourselves.”
Yunho’s sitting on the coffee table, the heels of his hand pressed into his eyes. He looks tired, and Changmin is too; he didn’t think they would have to deal with this, seeing as the lawsuit is still going on. He’d always thought they would just focus on solo activities until the court reached a decision, but today management had told them to think about a comeback with just you two, because we think it sounds good.
It was something he’d never thought would happen.
“I don’t know either,” Yunho says, rubbing his eyes. “I’d like to rest for a bit more, but I guess management’s right in that it’s time for me to start practicing again.”
“But… a comeback with just the two of us?” Changmin’s voice is soft, barely hearable. There is a question in the back of his mind that he doesn’t want to voice. Would we be able to do well?
“I don’t know, Changmin,” Yunho repeats, eyes closed. “I’ll think about it, and you should too. Management had given us a few days to think about it, no?”
Changmin makes a sound of agreement. “They said the latest we should reply is the day after Christmas.”
Yunho opens his eyes and looks straight up into Changmin’s face. “Well then. We’ll just celebrate Christmas and think about promotion at the same time.” When Changmin’s lips turn up just a bit, Yunho takes Changmin’s hands and tug him to stand in front of him, between his legs, and buries his face into Changmin’s shirt.
At Yunho’s shoulders relax, Changmin runs his hands through Yunho’s hair, luxuriating in the feel of his clean hair, knowing that in a few weeks, it’ll be impossible to do so through the large amounts of hairspray their stylists put on them. “I think we’ll be fine, hyung, “Changmin quietly says.
“I don’t know,” Yunho says again, voice muffled. He takes a deep breath before he moves his face away, eyes rising to search Changmin’s face. He’s been doing that a lot lately, Changmin realizes.
Yunho’s hand is on his face before he notices, and despite how much he wants to, he can’t look away - Yunho’s cupping his face in both of his hands, and they are surprisingly firm holding his face to his.
“If we end up going through with it,” Yunho says, eyes looking straight into Changmin’s, “we’ll be fine. I know we’ll do well.”
Changmin doesn’t even bother asking how he knows what he’s thinking anymore; Yunho just does. Yunho finally loosens his hands after Changmin nods, and Changmin drops his forehead down to Yunho’s and kisses him, silently saying thank you.
When Yunho smiles and kisses him back, Changmin understands that it’s an equally silent you’re welcome.
-
He doesn’t know how he manages to do it, but Changmin somehow is able to get Yunho out of the dorm the day Christmas arrives. (He may or may not have bribed Heechul to pull Yunho out of the apartment until roughly dinner time. And he may or may not have bribed him to make sure he doesn’t come in after dropping Yunho off).
Changmin hasn’t had a lot of time to practice the last two days, so he’s particularly nervous - he’s nervous enough, in fact, to wear one the other Christmas sweater. He would wear a tie, but he’s afraid of the tip catching fire.
At around seven thirty, he pours cranberry juice mixed with sparkling wine into glasses tipped with sugar, covers the still-warm fruitcake with powdered sugar, and begins to set up the dining table. There are no candles, but he doesn’t think he needs them. He’s not sure of whether he or Yunho should sit at the top of the table, so he just puts one placemat at the middle of the table, and the other on the opposite side. Freshly folded cloth napkins land on top of new plates, with gleaming cutlery correctly placed on the sides. The cranberry juice is positioned on the top right of the place mat, where it’ll be easy to reach out and take a sip.
Once he’s finished with setting up, he goes back into the kitchen to garnish his courses - sprigs of rosemary go into his pistachio pink peppercorn-coated goat cheese appetizers before they are plated. For his spice-rubbed cured ham, he places cranberries around the edge of the plate, with the apple-maple sauce poured on top. These two dishes go onto the center of the table, right in between the two placemats.
His brandied apple and pears with sage leaves dish and roasted brussels sprouts and red onions dish are covered, ensuring that they’ll remain warm until Changmin and Yunho finish their first two courses. The fruitcake goes into the refrigerator.
Finished preparing, Changmin settles down to wait until Yunho comes back and does his best to ignore how nervous he honestly is.
-
It’s almost eight by the time Yunho comes home, and Changmin’s in the living room, unable to sit still in his impatience. He’d thought of calling Heechul to ask where they were but changed his mind just as his finger was about to press ‘send’ on his cell phone. To hurry Yunho home would’ve given Yunho a hint that there was something waiting for him, and Changmin had wanted Yunho to be completely surprised.
When Yunho opens the front door, Changmin can hear Heechul’s loud laughter outside, and Yunho says something intelligible back as he enters and closes the door. Before his shoes are even off, Yunho blinks and sniffs the air - “Changmin, what’s that smell?” he curiously asks, seeing Changmin standing by the television. But right as Changmin’s about to lead him to the dining room, Yunho notices what he’s wearing and grins, mouth wide and eyes almost disappearing in his smile. “That looks good on you,” he laughs. “Why didn’t you wear the ties instead?”
“Because,” Changmin exaggerates, “they are really, really ugly. I’d rather wear this. It’s the lesser of the two evils, you know?”
Yunho shakes his head, a smile still playing on his lips. “You’ve always been so picky.”
“But! Anyway.” Changmin takes a deep breath and hopes he has cooked the food perfectly. “I have something for you.” When Yunho raises an eyebrow and quirks his head, Changmin takes his hand and pulls him into the dining room. The table looks good to him, if he says so himself, and Yunho’s small gasp does wonders in getting rid of his nerves. “This is my Christmas gift to you.”
Not saying anything, Yunho simply walks over to one of the seats and, pulling out the chair, turns to face Changmin. There is a warm look in his eyes, and Changmin can feel his cheeks heat up, just a bit. “Thank you,” Yunho softly says. “I’m looking forward to it.”
-
They don’t really talk over dinner, other than the occasional Changmin, this is so good and the shy thank you in return. Yunho asks for second helpings for almost everything, and by the time Changmin pulls out the fruitcake, Yunho half-heartedly groans, “Oh my god, I don’t think I can eat anymore.”
He can’t help but laugh. “You don’t have to eat it if you’re too full. You can have some tomorrow.”
“I’m just kidding,” Yunho says. “I would love a piece. After all, you cooked all this for me, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”
Changmin nods, cutting a smaller piece than he’d originally intended.
Once both of them have a serving, they fall silent once again, focused on eating. There is only the clank of cutlery for a while, but Yunho soon drops his fork and leans back in his chair, a hand going to the front of his face. “I don’t think I can move,” he moans. “Your food is too good, Changmin-ah, too good.”
“Stop teasing me,” Changmin says in return. Every time Yunho praises him, he ends up blushing, even though he thought he’d long stopped being embarrassed by simple things, and it’s no different this time. He raises his glass of cranberry juice and rests his cheek against the rim, hoping to cool his face down, and flaps his other hand against his face.
“But I’m not,” Yunho protests. At Changmin’s hmmm, he stands up and walks over to Changmin’s seat; before Changmin can rise as well, Yunho’s hugging him from the back, arms wrapped around his shoulders and nose pressed against his collarbone. A soft kiss lands on his neck, and Yunho’s voice says in his ear, “I mean it. Your food really was good. How long did it take you to get everything right?”
“About a week,” Changmin says uncomfortably. He’s always loved having Yunho holding him from the back, despite how often Yunho’s done it. There is just something comforting having someone warming his back - it makes him feel safe and loved.
He feels another kiss on his neck, this time closer to his collarbone. “Once a genius, forever a genius,” Yunho murmurs against his skin. “I’d probably burn the whole apartment down the first time I’d tried.”
“I know,” Changmin replies, suppressing his smile. “That was the first thing I thought of when I found the cookbook in your closet.”
When Yunho laughs, Changmin can feel his smile against his collarbone. “You’re such a cheater,” Yunho teases. “Couldn’t think of something else for my Christmas present, huh?”
“Of course not, it was just a really good idea, and I couldn’t let it go to waste.”
“Of course, of course.” Yunho’s dotting kisses along Changmin’s collarbone now. “Did I say thank you for the meal yet?”
“I don’t remember,” Changmin says breathlessly, angling his head to the side so Yunho could have access to his entire neck. “But you could always say it again.”
“Very true,” Yunho murmurs. He slowly moves up Changmin’s neck until he reaches his lips; the kiss that results is soft and gentle, and it’s the type that makes Changmin shiver and that Yunho excels at. “Thank you again,” Yunho whispers against his lips.
He lightly bites Yunho’s bottom lip before he says, “You’re welcome.”
-
Changmin wakes up the next morning to Yunho’s fingers playing with a few strands of his hair. “Good morning,” he says sleepily without opening his eyes.
Yunho replies with a quiet chuckle, “Good morning.”
When he opens his eyes, Yunho has a uncharacteristically somber look on his face, and Changmin suddenly remembers that they need to reply to management today about promotions. “Thinking of what to say to management?” he asks.
There is another chuckle, this time in his ear. “Yes,” Yunho says. “I was thinking of telling them -” he suddenly hesitates and looks into Changmin’s eyes.
“Yes,” Changmin softly says. “Tell them yes. It’ll be a new beginning.”
“Yes,” Yunho agrees. “I’ll tell them yes. For both of us.”
Yunho/Changmin
AU/Fluff/Romance/bits of Drama; PG-13
5,440 words.
Yunho comes back from the army around Christmas time, and Changmin and he must learn how to deal with a new beginning.
Written for isaofdoom at homin-yongwonhi's 2011 Secret Santa Fic Exchange. Her prompt was Changmin attempting to cook the perfect Christmas dinner, with ridiculous sweaters and ugly, festive neckties. ♥
When Changmin learns of Yunho’s decision to enlist at the end of 2009, he thinks it might be a good idea to enlist as well. But management simply refuses to let him go, stating that having both remaining members of Dong Bang Shin Ki gone for two years is just not “good business.”
So Changmin quietly says his goodbyes to Yunho and wishes him good luck. He silently hopes that when he returns, Yunho’s shoulders will be a little less slumped and his face will be a little more inclined to smile like the way he used to smile.
He doesn’t tell Yunho how, for the first time in almost six years, he feels completely alone.
-
It’s 2011 and two weeks before Christmas when Changmin gets a text from Yunho.
‘I’ll be out in a week. See you in the dorm?’
‘Sure.’
-
He spends the next two days cleaning their dorm. He’s never been much of a messy person, but he’s left items strewn around the place large enough to fit five people (management had wanted to wait until Yunho came back to move) in an attempt to make the apartment look a bit more lived in.
Changmin doesn’t bother cleaning Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun’s room; he hasn’t been inside since they’ve moved out.
He puts most of his time into cleaning Yunho and his room. Changmin had occasionally taken and used some of Yunho’s clothing, accessories, and electronics just to have it feel like he wasn’t by himself, and he’s not sure if he wants Yunho to know.
When he comes across a partially wrapped box in the corner of Yunho’s closet, Changmin’s curious enough to open it. It’s been two years - there’s no reason to think it might still be important.
Inside, Changmin finds two Christmas sweaters folded neatly, with a cookbook for the perfect Christmas dinner lying on top. There are post-its sticking out from the book, and one is stuck right on the front cover. PRACTICE. PRACTICE! PRACTICE!!! changmin will kill you otherwise T__T (after he finishes puking up what he managed to swallow).
The illegible handwriting makes it clear that the cookbook belongs to Yunho, and Changmin has to laugh at how Yunho had thought he, of all people, would actually manage to cook. It’d be more believable to think Changmin would actually wear the ugly sweaters Yunho had bought, and Changmin’s just barely able to stop himself from throwing them into the nearest trashcan.
After he finally manages to stop giggling at the image of Yunho being all frantic in front of the stove, Changmin has to smile; he’d missed this - it’s been a while since the last time he’d laughed at Yunho.
He flips through the book and mentally makes notes of the ones Yunho had particularly seemed drawn to - stars and happy faces seemed to have been his method of reminding himself which ones he’d thought Changmin would like, with hearts marking the ones he’d eventually settled on trying to cook.
This will be Yunho’s Christmas gift, Changmin thinks.
-
Once university lets him out for the holidays the next week, Changmin goes straight to the supermarket and tries his best to find all the ingredients he needs. Despite living alone for the past two years, he’s never learned to cook; management had hired a cleaning lady who’d also cooked to come in every other day to cook for him, and he’d also learned the best places to call for take-out. The one thing he knows how to make is spaghetti carbonara, but since it’s not a Christmas dish, Changmin has to put it aside.
The drinks are easily to find - with Christmas coming up, the market had marked an aisle specifically for holiday drinks, so the first thing Changmin picks up is cranberry juice. Since he already has wine glasses back at the dorm, he crosses off the glasses on his list and heads towards the next item he needs.
By the time he gets home, Changmin has spent more money on food in one day than he has in the past two years. It takes a while to unload all the bags, get them into the apartment, and put them into the refrigerator, and Changmin is exhausted once everything is in its right place. The cookbook’s open on the kitchen counter, with his notes covering the recipes, and when Changmin walks over to it, he suddenly hears the front door open, and he freezes. Other than himself, only Yunho has the key to the dorm, and he’s not supposed to be back yet.
There are an audible sigh and the thud of a bag hitting the floor, and then Changmin hears a heavy body flop onto the couch in the living room. He doesn’t dare move - he has no idea who the person is. Soon he notices soft snores, and he starts to slowly, quietly move to the living room; the first thing he sees is the head resting on the couch cushion, and Changmin’s heart starts to pound when he makes out the all too familiar nose and lips.
“Yunho,” he breathes out.
Changmin’s next to him before he knows it, and he has to stop himself from lifting his hand and running a finger down Yunho’s scar on his cheek. He settles for ghosting a hand over his short hair, eyes blurring as he kneels down on the floor. Yunho hasn’t changed his cologne, and as he inhales the smell, for the first time in almost two years, Changmin doesn’t feel so alone.
Just as he’s about to get up, Yunho stirs and opens his eyes. “Changmin?” he softly asks.
He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks away his tears before he smiles, just a little, and replies, “Hi, hyung.”
-
It’s funny, Changmin muses as he warms up some soup in the kitchen, how Yunho’s face looks smaller than ever but his body has more muscle mass now than he’s ever had. Before he’d gone to shower, Yunho had drawn him into a hug, and Changmin had been surprised at just how very hard Yunho’s body was.
He’s placing the bowl of soup onto the kitchen table with a spoon when Yunho comes in, hair sprinkled with water and face flushed.
“Did you make that?” Yunho asks, surprised.
Changmin has to snort. “No, of course not. The cleaning slash cooking lady made it. Do I look like I cook?”
“Ahh,” Yunho says as he pulls out a chair and sits down. He takes a sip, and his eyes closes, expression filling with pleasure. “I missed seafood jjiggae so much. We usually get budae jjiggae - if we even get jjiggae at all.”
“Budae jjiggae?” Changmin asks curiously, leaning against the counter. “I’ve seen it in restaurants, but I’ve never tried it. Is it really as… weird tasting as people say it is?”
“Yeah, it’s just mostly pieces of ham, onion, and vegetables like mushrooms or bean sprouts. I bet restaurants put beef and lettuce in the jjiggae and flavor it well though,” Yunho sighs. “I wonder how I managed to not starve.”
“Stop exaggerating,” he has to laugh. “You know as well as I do that the army feeds you guys well.”
Yunho just shrugs, a smile playing on his lips, and finishes his soup.
Silence drops lightly between them, broken only sometimes by Yunho’s slurps. For some reason, the two years feel like they never happened, with the way Changmin and Yunho easily fall back into how they normally act with each other - except for the fact neither of them have brought up Jaejoong, Junsu, or Yoochun.
It’s as if those three names are lying on the middle of a frozen pond, where the ice is thinnest, and the two of them are unwilling to go any closer, not wanting to risk falling through to the chilly water below.
“If you don’t know how to cook,” Yunho suddenly asks, “why do you have so many grocery bags around?”
Oh shit, Changmin thinks. He’s forgotten Yunho can be surprisingly perceptive at times. “Ah,” he begins. “The cooking lady likes for me to buy stuff I’d like her to make, so she wouldn’t have to guess all the time.”
Twirling his spoon around in his hand, Yunho doesn’t say anything for a moment, eyes searching Changmin’s face. “Hmmm,” he says. “You’ve never been a good liar, Changmin-ah.”
I wouldn’t have to lie if you came back when you said you would, Changmin crossly thinks. “Well,” he defensively says, “why are you back so early?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Yunho sing songs.
When Changmin gives him a look of disbelief, almost silently asking really, hyung?, Yunho throws back his head and laughs, eyes crinkling and teeth flashing, face lighting up just like it used to - and for the second time in one day, Changmin feels his eyes fill up. The last time he’d seen Yunho was the day he enlisted, and the smile he’d sent Changmin was one of his practiced smiles, empty of any real feeling.
“Sorry,” Changmin mutters as he turns around to face the kitchen sink. “Something got in my eye.”
He hears Yunho put down his spoon with a clink, push back with his chair, and softly walk over. When he pushes away from the sink and tries to turn to the table without Yunho seeing his face, he hears Yunho sigh and quietly say, “Changmin, look at me.”
Ever since he first entered Dong Bang Shin Ki, Changmin has always had a soft spot for this hyung, making it hard to refuse any of his requests. Time hasn’t changed anything, so Changmin slowly faces him, eyes toward the ground. Yunho’s barefoot, Changmin belatedly notices.
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Yunho lift his arms and drape them around his shoulders. In the next moment, he’s against Yunho’s chest, nose buried in his shirt and hands clutching the back. I missed you, he wants to say. I missed you so much. But he’s never been good with words, and so they stick in his throat, unwilling to come out no matter how much he compulsively swallows.
Yunho has almost always known him the best, able to guess at what he wants to say with a single glance at his face. So when he buries his nose into Changmin’s neck and softly says, “I missed you too,” Changmin lets go of the tight rein he has on his tears and simply collapses, back almost bowed in half as he hides his face in Yunho’s shirt.
Yunho wordlessly lets him cry out the past two years, one hand tangled in Changmin’s hair and the other gently stroking up and down his back.
-
Changmin wakes up early in bed the next morning and wonders how he got there. As he turns around to look at the clock, he comes face to face to Yunho, and he goes, oh. Yunho had gently pulled him to bed once he’d finished crying, and they’d made love. Last night had been a catharsis of sorts for both of them, with Yunho murmuring into his ear once he’d come, I feel like I’m home again, and it was Changmin who’d pulled the other into his arms.
There’s no hesitation this time when Changmin raises his hand and traces Yunho’s cheek scar. His finger ends up tracing Yunho’s bottom lip, and just as he’s about to pull away, Yunho lightly bites him.
“Good morning,” Yunho mumbles without opening his eyes. “Why are you up so early?”
“Habit,” Changmin says. “Aren’t you supposed to be used to waking up early as well?”
Yunho’s eyes open. “You tired me out last night,” he teases.
Changmin can’t stop his cheeks from heating up, and in an effort to regain his dignity, he gets out of bed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, without looking at Yunho. “No idea at all.”
He walks into the bathroom with a smile on his lips and Yunho’s laughter ringing in his ears.
-
The next few days are spent mostly in the dorm; they take the time to relearn each other, because despite how well the first day together was, two years still leave their mark. Changmin endures an hour of Yunho exploring his body (“Stop licking my nipples, they’re not sensitive any - oh my god - wait, ah - wait! Ah!”), and he tries to take his revenge by doing the same, except to learn that Yunho’s self-control has grown in the abstinence of two years.
Changmin’s touched when he sees Yunho’s eagerness in eating his spaghetti carbonara the day he makes it, and he throws himself into practicing for Yunho’s Christmas dinner even more.
It’s three days before Christmas, Yunho’s out with friends (he’d tried to pull Changmin out with him, but no, I’m good, hyung. I have to study for a quiz the day I go back to university), and Changmin’s cooking. He’s been in the kitchen more times the past week than he can ever remember, and he’s grumbling things to himself like “Yunho-hyung better appreciate this” and “why am I even doing this again” when his cell phone rings and Yunho’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hey hyung,” he says, picking up.
‘Changmin! Would you mind opening the front door? My hands are full, and I can’t reach my keys.’
He doesn’t want to admit it, but Changmin’s a bit scared of what Yunho’s bought. “All right, I’ll be there in a second.”
As soon as he hangs up, he runs around, sticking this pot in the sink and that pan in the refrigerator and pouring a cranberry sauce in a nearby container and the rest of a marinade in a clean bowl. He lets out a breath once he’s at the front door. “That was a close call,” he sighs.
Changmin opens the door, and Yunho comes through with a stupid grin on his face, arms carrying two bags of clothing. While Yunho continues walking to the living room, Changmin closes the door and follows - “What did you buy, hyung?” he slowly asks.
Yunho merely beckons, still smiling, sitting on the couch, and once Changmin’s next to him, he overturns the bags. Colorful ties tumble out, and Changmin can’t speak for the sheer horror he’s feeling. Yunho bought a bunch of Christmas ties. Holiday ties are already inherently ugly, but Changmin thinks these just might be the ugliest he’s ever seen. They might even be uglier than the Christmas sweaters he’d found in Yunho’s closet.
“Hyung,” he manages to choke out, “what are these?” He doesn’t wait for Yunho to answer when he picks two up and sticks them in Yunho’s face. “Why in the name of all that’s holy did you buy ties of the same design but in different colors?”
“Because,” Yunho starts, pushing Changmin’s hands away, “I thought the snowman was cute. He’s cute, isn’t he?” When Changmin opens his mouth again, he rushes on to say, with an apologetic note in his voice, “And, I was thinking these could be your Christmas gift. I couldn’t get you anything the last two years, so I bought more than just one.”
There’s an absurd laugh about to come out of Changmin’s throat, and he has to cough several times to get rid of it. What is with Yunho’s obsession with ugly Christmas clothing? Sometimes Changmin thinks Yunho’s under the misconception that holiday fashion’s supposed to be cheerful and fun when, in reality, they make him want to poke his own eye out.
Changmin has to sigh. “Thank you, hyung. I appreciate the gesture.”
“Then does that mean you’ll wear them on Christmas day?”
The urge to burn the cookbook currently hiding in the pantry hits him, and Changmin can’t think of any reason not to do it.
Except, of course, that it’s Yunho’s Christmas gift and Changmin’s actually looking forward to surprising him with his own present.
God, the things he does for this man.
-
Later that night, Changmin comes out from the bathroom, freshly showered, to see Yunho standing in front of the door of Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun’s room, hand rising to the door knob. When he hesitates and pulls back, Changmin doesn’t say anything. When he clenches a hand and raises the other to open the door, Changmin stays silent. And when he slowly takes a step inside, face stoic and shoulders squared, Changmin walks away.
There are some things Changmin knows Yunho would rather face by himself, and he thinks this is one of them.
-
Yunho comes to bed an hour later, and he wraps his arms around Changmin a little tighter than normal. Changmin puts down his novel, loosely draping his arms around Yunho’s shoulders, and quietly asks, “Feel better?”
There’s a burst of air across the back of his neck as Yunho lets out a breath. “A little,” he admits. “I’ve been avoiding talking about them - as I’m sure you’ve noticed - and when you were showering, I suddenly thought that it’s the right time to really let in the fact they’re not here anymore.”
“Nothing like seeing their empty room to really bring it home,” Changmin agrees.
Yunho’s nose nudges Changmin’s collarbone as he nods. He squeezes Changmin a little before he takes a breath, lets it out, and says, “I’m sorry I left you back when you needed me, Changmin-ah. I -”
Changmin interrupts him before he can get everything out. “Have you been feeling guilty about it all this while?” At Yunho’s nod, he continues, “I’ll admit that I was angry at you right when you first left; it was a complete disaster when everyone realized the five of us were breaking up, and I… felt a bit betrayed that you weren’t there with me.” He can’t really breathe with how tightly Yunho’s holding him. “And yes, I did feel alone. My mini-album didn’t work out that well, and neither did my first time trying out acting.”
When he pauses to take a breath, Yunho lets out in a rush, “I know, that’s why I’m sorry -”
“But, I think the separation really did us some good, hyung,” Changmin says, acting as if he didn’t hear Yunho. “You got to breathe and get away from all the stress, and I got to try out some of that ‘normal’ lifestyle I always said I wanted.”
There’s a bit of a silence when he finishes, and he thinks it’s because Yunho’s trying to understand what he just said. “I’ll say it again, Yunho-hyung. I don’t blame you for leaving,” Changmin says.
Five minutes pass before Yunho speaks again, and when he does, it’s a simple, quiet, “Thank you.”
-
When Changmin wakes up before Yunho the next morning, he’s not surprised, seeing how Yunho went through a bit of emotional distress last night. He takes the chance to take out one of the Christmas sweaters and places it next to Yunho’s head on the pillow. He writes a note, sticks it on top of the sweater, and walks out, almost giggling in his glee.
Hyung -
I found this in your closet. To make up for my emotional distress the last two years, you must wear this today. No excuses. >:| At all. >:(
-
Yunho enters the living room, dressed in the green, almost feminine looking sweater. Trying to hold back his laughter, Changmin waits for Yunho to complain, but as minutes pass without a single grumble, he’s curious enough to ask, “Hyung, how’s the sweater?”
There’s a surprised expression on Yunho’s face. “I like it, it’s warm. That’s why I bought it in the first place anyway.”
Just as Changmin’s about to go what, hyung, have you even looked at the design, it looks so girly, Yunho’s cell phone rings. Having finally heard of his return, management asks them to come in today for a meeting, and when Yunho consents, Changmin stands up to bring his bowl of cereal into the kitchen and to get dressed. It’s been a while since he’d had an official meeting with management, since he hasn’t had schedules for about a year.
-
On the way to SME, Changmin stays quiet, and to his surprise, Yunho does too. As their van pulls into the parking lot, Yunho reaches over and squeezes Changmin’s hand, glancing at Changmin’s face with a small smile on his face. His hand is cold, and he lets go as soon as the car stops moving. It’s almost as if he thinks Changmin is nervous.
This hyung, Changmin thinks with a shake of his head. After he gets out of the van and is about to start walking to the front of the building, Yunho in front of him, he takes a quick step to end up standing next to Yunho - he then leans over and whispers in Yunho’s ear, “I’m not nervous, hyung, but it feels like you are.”
Yunho starts a bit at that, but he quickly recovers. And as he turns his head to face Changmin, there is a blinding smile on his face, one that makes Changmin want to smile as well.
Their manager, already opening the building door, shouts at them to hurry up, they’re about to be late. Before Yunho begins to head toward the door, he quickly mouths to Changmin, You wish.
Changmin has to hide his smile behind a hand, but when he realizes he can’t stop smiling, he gives up.
-
They get home a few hours later, and Changmin can’t think through management’s announcement.
“I don’t know,” he says for the tenth time in the past hour. “I don’t know what to think about promoting by ourselves.”
Yunho’s sitting on the coffee table, the heels of his hand pressed into his eyes. He looks tired, and Changmin is too; he didn’t think they would have to deal with this, seeing as the lawsuit is still going on. He’d always thought they would just focus on solo activities until the court reached a decision, but today management had told them to think about a comeback with just you two, because we think it sounds good.
It was something he’d never thought would happen.
“I don’t know either,” Yunho says, rubbing his eyes. “I’d like to rest for a bit more, but I guess management’s right in that it’s time for me to start practicing again.”
“But… a comeback with just the two of us?” Changmin’s voice is soft, barely hearable. There is a question in the back of his mind that he doesn’t want to voice. Would we be able to do well?
“I don’t know, Changmin,” Yunho repeats, eyes closed. “I’ll think about it, and you should too. Management had given us a few days to think about it, no?”
Changmin makes a sound of agreement. “They said the latest we should reply is the day after Christmas.”
Yunho opens his eyes and looks straight up into Changmin’s face. “Well then. We’ll just celebrate Christmas and think about promotion at the same time.” When Changmin’s lips turn up just a bit, Yunho takes Changmin’s hands and tug him to stand in front of him, between his legs, and buries his face into Changmin’s shirt.
At Yunho’s shoulders relax, Changmin runs his hands through Yunho’s hair, luxuriating in the feel of his clean hair, knowing that in a few weeks, it’ll be impossible to do so through the large amounts of hairspray their stylists put on them. “I think we’ll be fine, hyung, “Changmin quietly says.
“I don’t know,” Yunho says again, voice muffled. He takes a deep breath before he moves his face away, eyes rising to search Changmin’s face. He’s been doing that a lot lately, Changmin realizes.
Yunho’s hand is on his face before he notices, and despite how much he wants to, he can’t look away - Yunho’s cupping his face in both of his hands, and they are surprisingly firm holding his face to his.
“If we end up going through with it,” Yunho says, eyes looking straight into Changmin’s, “we’ll be fine. I know we’ll do well.”
Changmin doesn’t even bother asking how he knows what he’s thinking anymore; Yunho just does. Yunho finally loosens his hands after Changmin nods, and Changmin drops his forehead down to Yunho’s and kisses him, silently saying thank you.
When Yunho smiles and kisses him back, Changmin understands that it’s an equally silent you’re welcome.
-
He doesn’t know how he manages to do it, but Changmin somehow is able to get Yunho out of the dorm the day Christmas arrives. (He may or may not have bribed Heechul to pull Yunho out of the apartment until roughly dinner time. And he may or may not have bribed him to make sure he doesn’t come in after dropping Yunho off).
Changmin hasn’t had a lot of time to practice the last two days, so he’s particularly nervous - he’s nervous enough, in fact, to wear one the other Christmas sweater. He would wear a tie, but he’s afraid of the tip catching fire.
At around seven thirty, he pours cranberry juice mixed with sparkling wine into glasses tipped with sugar, covers the still-warm fruitcake with powdered sugar, and begins to set up the dining table. There are no candles, but he doesn’t think he needs them. He’s not sure of whether he or Yunho should sit at the top of the table, so he just puts one placemat at the middle of the table, and the other on the opposite side. Freshly folded cloth napkins land on top of new plates, with gleaming cutlery correctly placed on the sides. The cranberry juice is positioned on the top right of the place mat, where it’ll be easy to reach out and take a sip.
Once he’s finished with setting up, he goes back into the kitchen to garnish his courses - sprigs of rosemary go into his pistachio pink peppercorn-coated goat cheese appetizers before they are plated. For his spice-rubbed cured ham, he places cranberries around the edge of the plate, with the apple-maple sauce poured on top. These two dishes go onto the center of the table, right in between the two placemats.
His brandied apple and pears with sage leaves dish and roasted brussels sprouts and red onions dish are covered, ensuring that they’ll remain warm until Changmin and Yunho finish their first two courses. The fruitcake goes into the refrigerator.
Finished preparing, Changmin settles down to wait until Yunho comes back and does his best to ignore how nervous he honestly is.
-
It’s almost eight by the time Yunho comes home, and Changmin’s in the living room, unable to sit still in his impatience. He’d thought of calling Heechul to ask where they were but changed his mind just as his finger was about to press ‘send’ on his cell phone. To hurry Yunho home would’ve given Yunho a hint that there was something waiting for him, and Changmin had wanted Yunho to be completely surprised.
When Yunho opens the front door, Changmin can hear Heechul’s loud laughter outside, and Yunho says something intelligible back as he enters and closes the door. Before his shoes are even off, Yunho blinks and sniffs the air - “Changmin, what’s that smell?” he curiously asks, seeing Changmin standing by the television. But right as Changmin’s about to lead him to the dining room, Yunho notices what he’s wearing and grins, mouth wide and eyes almost disappearing in his smile. “That looks good on you,” he laughs. “Why didn’t you wear the ties instead?”
“Because,” Changmin exaggerates, “they are really, really ugly. I’d rather wear this. It’s the lesser of the two evils, you know?”
Yunho shakes his head, a smile still playing on his lips. “You’ve always been so picky.”
“But! Anyway.” Changmin takes a deep breath and hopes he has cooked the food perfectly. “I have something for you.” When Yunho raises an eyebrow and quirks his head, Changmin takes his hand and pulls him into the dining room. The table looks good to him, if he says so himself, and Yunho’s small gasp does wonders in getting rid of his nerves. “This is my Christmas gift to you.”
Not saying anything, Yunho simply walks over to one of the seats and, pulling out the chair, turns to face Changmin. There is a warm look in his eyes, and Changmin can feel his cheeks heat up, just a bit. “Thank you,” Yunho softly says. “I’m looking forward to it.”
-
They don’t really talk over dinner, other than the occasional Changmin, this is so good and the shy thank you in return. Yunho asks for second helpings for almost everything, and by the time Changmin pulls out the fruitcake, Yunho half-heartedly groans, “Oh my god, I don’t think I can eat anymore.”
He can’t help but laugh. “You don’t have to eat it if you’re too full. You can have some tomorrow.”
“I’m just kidding,” Yunho says. “I would love a piece. After all, you cooked all this for me, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”
Changmin nods, cutting a smaller piece than he’d originally intended.
Once both of them have a serving, they fall silent once again, focused on eating. There is only the clank of cutlery for a while, but Yunho soon drops his fork and leans back in his chair, a hand going to the front of his face. “I don’t think I can move,” he moans. “Your food is too good, Changmin-ah, too good.”
“Stop teasing me,” Changmin says in return. Every time Yunho praises him, he ends up blushing, even though he thought he’d long stopped being embarrassed by simple things, and it’s no different this time. He raises his glass of cranberry juice and rests his cheek against the rim, hoping to cool his face down, and flaps his other hand against his face.
“But I’m not,” Yunho protests. At Changmin’s hmmm, he stands up and walks over to Changmin’s seat; before Changmin can rise as well, Yunho’s hugging him from the back, arms wrapped around his shoulders and nose pressed against his collarbone. A soft kiss lands on his neck, and Yunho’s voice says in his ear, “I mean it. Your food really was good. How long did it take you to get everything right?”
“About a week,” Changmin says uncomfortably. He’s always loved having Yunho holding him from the back, despite how often Yunho’s done it. There is just something comforting having someone warming his back - it makes him feel safe and loved.
He feels another kiss on his neck, this time closer to his collarbone. “Once a genius, forever a genius,” Yunho murmurs against his skin. “I’d probably burn the whole apartment down the first time I’d tried.”
“I know,” Changmin replies, suppressing his smile. “That was the first thing I thought of when I found the cookbook in your closet.”
When Yunho laughs, Changmin can feel his smile against his collarbone. “You’re such a cheater,” Yunho teases. “Couldn’t think of something else for my Christmas present, huh?”
“Of course not, it was just a really good idea, and I couldn’t let it go to waste.”
“Of course, of course.” Yunho’s dotting kisses along Changmin’s collarbone now. “Did I say thank you for the meal yet?”
“I don’t remember,” Changmin says breathlessly, angling his head to the side so Yunho could have access to his entire neck. “But you could always say it again.”
“Very true,” Yunho murmurs. He slowly moves up Changmin’s neck until he reaches his lips; the kiss that results is soft and gentle, and it’s the type that makes Changmin shiver and that Yunho excels at. “Thank you again,” Yunho whispers against his lips.
He lightly bites Yunho’s bottom lip before he says, “You’re welcome.”
-
Changmin wakes up the next morning to Yunho’s fingers playing with a few strands of his hair. “Good morning,” he says sleepily without opening his eyes.
Yunho replies with a quiet chuckle, “Good morning.”
When he opens his eyes, Yunho has a uncharacteristically somber look on his face, and Changmin suddenly remembers that they need to reply to management today about promotions. “Thinking of what to say to management?” he asks.
There is another chuckle, this time in his ear. “Yes,” Yunho says. “I was thinking of telling them -” he suddenly hesitates and looks into Changmin’s eyes.
“Yes,” Changmin softly says. “Tell them yes. It’ll be a new beginning.”
“Yes,” Yunho agrees. “I’ll tell them yes. For both of us.”