(no subject)
15 Years Ago, I:
1. Had probably regrown the hair lost when my Best Friend pulled a large chunk out, showed it to our parents, and claimed it was the dog’s.
2. Was soon to receive twin siblings. I produced small baggies of crayon stubs, “baby crayons”, and visited the hospital to gift my infant sisters with my creations.
3. Sang “Peanut Butter & Jelly” in front of our pre-school parents, wearing a giant peanut painted with distinct purple slash- a classmate had confused the colors and gotten upset, so I volunteered to take over her mangled peanut, in exchange for my appropriately-hued grape.
4. Memorized my favorite book, “Madeleine”, and would recite it on command, refusing to otherwise attempt reading.
5. Received a tape recorder for my birthday- promptly recorded my very first hit song, entitled “Tara has Two Guns”.
10 Years Ago, I:
1. Led my fellow students in a playground rebellion, upon being denied the “right” to climb in the bushes at the corners of the yard. Our call to arms, created by me, went “Ignore it, ignore it, they can’t control our bodies, we can!” The revolt was about as successful as most uprisings of the oppressed underclasses.
2. Began attendance at the sucession of Far Away Special Schools that seems to have characterized my education.- Turned in homework that my much beloved teacher declared “look as if I’d slept on it!” (I had.)
3. Wore lacey dresses every day, often accompanied by sweatpants.
4. Received my First Kiss, tying down my target with jump-rope and my friends’ assistance.
5. Belatedly accepted learning both cursive and my times tables.
5 Years Ago, I:
1. Rejected the idea of taking IB art, due in part to an utter lack of skill, but also the influence of the horrific Ms. Fishman.
2. Was unspeakably grateful to have been led into a group of friends who appeared willing to accept me and my supply of constant small peculiarities.
3. Went to bed all year at exactly 9:15. (Probably was not human?)
4. Developed an obsessive interest in Dawson’s Creek, which I and my mother eagerly followed.
5. had not yet discovered contacts, and was only just really discovering literature.
3 Years Ago, I:
1. First developed plans for World Dictatorship, and personified my turtle.
2. Left the country for the first time, on a Girl Scout trip to London. Group relations were so poor by the end of the trip that I actually participated in a shockingly sincere game of Troop Survivor, cruelly selecting the order in which I would reject my “sister scouts”.
3. Demonstrated shocking incompetance as Props Chief for RM Drama’s production of Carousel. Amazingly, had no chairs hurled at me.
4. First began metro rides with assorted combinations of Seth and The Nicks. Loudly and unself-consciously argued (“discussed”?), and probably acted distinctly immaturely. :)
5. Took the SATs for the 3rd time, finally matching what I believed my father’s score had been. Later discovered I was still 20 points shy. :)
1 Year Ago, I:
1. bemoaned the approaching of loss of the Only Hot History Professor Ever.
2. still naievely believed I would be able to partake of Spring, in either Montreal or Washington. (ha)
3. Took an exam for a class in which my attendance was so hopelessly poor I didn’t not recognize the face or recall the name of my professor. (I do wish I were kidding)
4. Bonded alot with those on my Floor- finally got used to Rez life, only to leave it forever.
5. Purchased several fragrant plants, which I promptly murdered.
Yesterday, I:
1. Crammed frantically for my first final exam, sitting in the library cafeteria and skulking over my coffee and course books.
2. Had my last Seminar class ever; hung behind wanting to say something more sentimental and grateful than simply a heartfelt thank-you, but failed miserably.
3. Walked back through the Ghetto and bought a book to cure undefined uneasiness/ feeling of nostaglic completion. (book was Washington Square)
4. Drank a Sex Machine (vodka, baileys and milk)
5. Danced to Misirlou at Café Campus 80s night; encountered a boy who shared my love of the song for purely Pulp Fiction related reasons, and was also receptive to culling one’s children for attractiveness. (Married him, etc)
Today, I:
1. Pretended to be my own roommate to avoid an unwanted phone call.
2. Had a detailed nightmare involving my fatal wounding at the hands of what was probably a representation of my own “shadow/ private self”, while every one of my friends stood by and refused to help me.
3. Discovered that the city of Montreal does not carry subtitled copies of Le Auberge Espanol, sulked.
4. Ate indian food with Anaar; discussed our mutual desire for courtly love while watching Cyrano De Bergerac.
5. Received a returned paper with numerous incorrect spelling and grammar corrections. (Professors who cannot list English as their primary language should NOT teach here.)
Tomorrow, I:
1. will attend my final Hoffman class for the year, and possibly cry.
2. will show my Sunny Summer Sublet to a potential subletter. If unsuccessful, will begin to prostitute myself in order to subsidize my continued education.
3. will likely attempt to study, and end up cleaning, reading for pleasure, and then falling apathetically asleep. (as always :))
4. will listen to The Smiths “Cemetary Gates” & “Half a Person” entirely too much. As a result, will be lynched by incensed neighbors.
5. will continue to add songs to the Civil War Mix Cd I am slowly working to create. (My disturbing interest in such things is a comforting reinforcement of having selected the correct major- history is the only thing I get quite so obsessive and dorky about. :) )
I apologize for the spelling. It is too late and I am apparently too dumb to turn on Word spell checker. Sorry.