today i was realy angery with both how you've lied to me &nd how i lied to you.
but then i thoght about how if we both want to have somthing diffenent then why dwell on the past &nd not enjoy the present. i liked watching the movie with you it's an enjoyable time where we're togather we like tghe same parts &nd find the same things funny.

i've been writing as if you wouldn't be readaing it becasue that's the way it is in my mind. i'm thinking about writing any thoght that i have down in here becasue then if you do read it you'll have a clear understanding of what's going thro my mind ( Read more... )

today she said she'd want to try &nd so do i. i'm ready to try a new relashinship like about her going to brittany's birthday party even tho i think there'll be guys there trying to get with her as well as drinking &nd the other normal party stuff the way i look at it is that if anything does happen then we'll say good bye because if i can't trust ( Read more... )

i told mr gannon all about me &nd her today. he said it was a stuped thing to get so close to a girl i got angery at him. he said he was starting to wonder why i wasn't looking at girls .

"why does love gotta be so tough"

but she doesn't and i've accepted that.

it's odd when i was with her i always wanted more time to my self so i could do the things i wanted to do yet now without her i find that i'd like to have more time devoted to someone. i flet out of love a few times yet whne i came home &nd talked with her for a little it slowly came back. sometimes not for a few days but it would come back even if ( Read more... )

it's not that the true feelings weren't there but jsut that i couldn't get them out as much as it may have been need.

But even when i said that she said no. she said "maybe by monday i'd feel love" but i trhink that's jsut a pipe dream. the problem with people it seems to me is that when we start new things such as work, a first car &nd choosing a carrier path we seem to not show our true feelings. there were many of times where i didn't show my love to her yet ( Read more... )

but is this true tho? are these people in my life right? should i jsut forget about this girl and be with girls that wont hert me? or that i wont care to be hert by. the ":(" can still make me think but will that last in my mind? how many times did she say i love you only to ponder if it was true? she said she'd miss me and if we were to be ( Read more... )