Fashion Report: AFL Brownlow Medal Red Carpet
I admit that this annual red carpet for the high-profile Australian Rules player of the year award is picking low-hanging (in some cases, literally) fruit because the player's wives are not always public personalities on their own and most don't have stylists. But still can't resist.
Well, Maybe...
With a much narrower skirt, this would probably be fine on Linda Weatherlake.
Nice color combo on Elise Swallow with an unfortunate entry in the too-long net skirt evening trend.
Starting from the shoulders on Kate Lawrence: nice bustline, interesting beautiful material, interesting sleeves, nicely fitted at the hips, and... *sigh* an unstructured fall of net trailing on the ground.
Well-fitted Matrix-like look on Alex Pendlebury, but dislike the cutouts and looks like a swimsuit designer handled the back.
This corset dress is way too busy and an unflattering color on Daisy Pearce, but impressed that she's the footballer.
This isn't terrible on Ruby Keddie but I don't get the awkward bodice sweep.
Kelsey Tomkins better hope that they're not serving anything messy because these trailing sleeves would never survive.
No, No, No
Usually I object to plunging necklines that show too much of someone's basketball-like fake boobs but in the case of Nikki Homann, her natural bustline is probably not something to emphasize and could use some serious structural assistance. Better from the back.
Would have liked to see a lot more of the impressive pearlwork on Jessie Habermann and less of the body and unnaturally round boobs underneath it.
Ana Calle apparently went shopping in a furniture store warehouse: she’s wearing carpet remnants held together by a leather remnant from a couch arm.
Jessie Hultgren looks like she's going to do a Gypsy Rose Lee: her corset (which has some stunning detail work) just needs tassels hanging from her nipples and looks like she's about to whip off her carpet-sweeping train to expose the black shorts beneath.
Lauren Tscharke with a peek-a-boo window on her anorexic hips.
Brit Davis in a JoAnn Fabrics special: trim from Aisle 2 at the top and yards and yards of tulle in the skirt.
Michelle Taylor would have been better served by a black underdress all the way to her ankles rather than looking like she wrapped a tablecloth around her because she was told she couldn't wear shorts.
Oh, dear: Laura Atkinson in a truly terrible bustline and a migraine-inducing tight bun.
My first thought when seeing Annabel Whiting was that her dress was missing a piece from her Colorforms kit.
Erin Jolley could have used some of the material in her cape in the rest of her dress.
I bet Philippa Wanganeen dots her i's with little hearts. (And what is with that purse?)
IMHO having carefully placed embroidery over your nipples is not a good overall look but clearly Rebecca Ebert, footballer Katie Brennan, and Jamie Macmillan disagree.
Looks like Charlotte Goodlet slit the skirt of her granny's Jessica McClintock dress. (Local paper referred to it as a Zika hazmat suit :-> )
Missed their auditions: Shannyn Rioli has missed the casting call for 2001 and Nadia Bartel in this mucus-colored pantsuit with no back has missed out on Spider-Man.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who saw this photo of Courtney Boyd and started humming the camp song "Do your boobs hang low?" (The full dress does not help.)
Worst Fit of the Night: Elli Bradshaw makes you just itch to pull sections of her dress around so they'll fit where they are supposed to.
Dominatrix of the Night: Jordan Ablett, with thigh-high stiletto stretch boots. (This didn't get Worst of the Night because it was clearly designed to shock.)
The coveted Brownlow Skank of the Night goes to Jesinta Campbell, who is also mysteriously wearing green shoes. This close-up shows that it didn’t even fit right: the belt made her waist bulge and the boob tape meant showing a bit more from the side than was attractive.
Worst of the Night: My imagination fails me at Georgie Williams looking at herself in the mirror in this badly designed hot mess and thinking "This is the one!"
OK
Didn't see very much that made me say "Yes"
Beautiful material on Megan Bennett but wish the top hadn't been quite so transparent.
Dani Shreeve in well-fitted shimmery silver. Also fine from the back and with appropriate bag, shoes… and toenail polish!
Classy maternity dresses on Jerri Jones and on former Miss Universe Australia Rachael Finch.
Erinn Montagna in slinky shiny midnight blue.
On most red carpets, this nicely fitted red mermaid number on Neroli Meadows wouldn’t even rate a mention but it was a blessed relief after seeing most of the other outfits.
Even this white plastic tablecloth on Catherine Black is looking good, and is at least well-fitted.
Still not a big fan of waist cut-outs but this pretty much works on Monique Fontana.
The "Screw This Red Carpet Crap" award goes to Annie Nolan :->
Best of the Night: Mardi Dangerfield in well-fitted red with interesting embroidered outlines, good structure for the twins, and an actual necklace!
Well, Maybe...
With a much narrower skirt, this would probably be fine on Linda Weatherlake.
Nice color combo on Elise Swallow with an unfortunate entry in the too-long net skirt evening trend.
Starting from the shoulders on Kate Lawrence: nice bustline, interesting beautiful material, interesting sleeves, nicely fitted at the hips, and... *sigh* an unstructured fall of net trailing on the ground.
Well-fitted Matrix-like look on Alex Pendlebury, but dislike the cutouts and looks like a swimsuit designer handled the back.
This corset dress is way too busy and an unflattering color on Daisy Pearce, but impressed that she's the footballer.
This isn't terrible on Ruby Keddie but I don't get the awkward bodice sweep.
Kelsey Tomkins better hope that they're not serving anything messy because these trailing sleeves would never survive.
No, No, No
Usually I object to plunging necklines that show too much of someone's basketball-like fake boobs but in the case of Nikki Homann, her natural bustline is probably not something to emphasize and could use some serious structural assistance. Better from the back.
Would have liked to see a lot more of the impressive pearlwork on Jessie Habermann and less of the body and unnaturally round boobs underneath it.
Ana Calle apparently went shopping in a furniture store warehouse: she’s wearing carpet remnants held together by a leather remnant from a couch arm.
Jessie Hultgren looks like she's going to do a Gypsy Rose Lee: her corset (which has some stunning detail work) just needs tassels hanging from her nipples and looks like she's about to whip off her carpet-sweeping train to expose the black shorts beneath.
Lauren Tscharke with a peek-a-boo window on her anorexic hips.
Brit Davis in a JoAnn Fabrics special: trim from Aisle 2 at the top and yards and yards of tulle in the skirt.
Michelle Taylor would have been better served by a black underdress all the way to her ankles rather than looking like she wrapped a tablecloth around her because she was told she couldn't wear shorts.
Oh, dear: Laura Atkinson in a truly terrible bustline and a migraine-inducing tight bun.
My first thought when seeing Annabel Whiting was that her dress was missing a piece from her Colorforms kit.
Erin Jolley could have used some of the material in her cape in the rest of her dress.
I bet Philippa Wanganeen dots her i's with little hearts. (And what is with that purse?)
IMHO having carefully placed embroidery over your nipples is not a good overall look but clearly Rebecca Ebert, footballer Katie Brennan, and Jamie Macmillan disagree.
Looks like Charlotte Goodlet slit the skirt of her granny's Jessica McClintock dress. (Local paper referred to it as a Zika hazmat suit :-> )
Missed their auditions: Shannyn Rioli has missed the casting call for 2001 and Nadia Bartel in this mucus-colored pantsuit with no back has missed out on Spider-Man.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who saw this photo of Courtney Boyd and started humming the camp song "Do your boobs hang low?" (The full dress does not help.)
Worst Fit of the Night: Elli Bradshaw makes you just itch to pull sections of her dress around so they'll fit where they are supposed to.
Dominatrix of the Night: Jordan Ablett, with thigh-high stiletto stretch boots. (This didn't get Worst of the Night because it was clearly designed to shock.)
The coveted Brownlow Skank of the Night goes to Jesinta Campbell, who is also mysteriously wearing green shoes. This close-up shows that it didn’t even fit right: the belt made her waist bulge and the boob tape meant showing a bit more from the side than was attractive.
Worst of the Night: My imagination fails me at Georgie Williams looking at herself in the mirror in this badly designed hot mess and thinking "This is the one!"
OK
Didn't see very much that made me say "Yes"
Beautiful material on Megan Bennett but wish the top hadn't been quite so transparent.
Dani Shreeve in well-fitted shimmery silver. Also fine from the back and with appropriate bag, shoes… and toenail polish!
Classy maternity dresses on Jerri Jones and on former Miss Universe Australia Rachael Finch.
Erinn Montagna in slinky shiny midnight blue.
On most red carpets, this nicely fitted red mermaid number on Neroli Meadows wouldn’t even rate a mention but it was a blessed relief after seeing most of the other outfits.
Even this white plastic tablecloth on Catherine Black is looking good, and is at least well-fitted.
Still not a big fan of waist cut-outs but this pretty much works on Monique Fontana.
The "Screw This Red Carpet Crap" award goes to Annie Nolan :->
Best of the Night: Mardi Dangerfield in well-fitted red with interesting embroidered outlines, good structure for the twins, and an actual necklace!
