Golden Globes Fashion 2019
It's been a while since I was able to do a fashion review either due to the calendar or a busy schedule. Glad to be able to start the awards season with a Golden Globes fashion review.
Attack of the Poofs
If I ever did an online contest, I'd ask people to guess just how many dresses could be made out of the material in Lady Gaga's ridiculously oversized dress, even more ridiculously oversized train, and large poofy arm train anchors.
Not sure why the designer decided to float the sleeve of this otherwise unobjectionable white asymmetric gown on Sandra Oh up on her shoulder.
This black, multi-colored sparkles number is not bad on Linda Cardellini, although it could use more of a waist. However, is anyone else reflexively scratching the left side of their neck?
Danai Gurira in a gorgeous orange overlay fabric, a great fit... and an orange peel on her shoulder.
Pale, Pale, Pale
Kirsten Bell plays it safe in a dress that almost matches her skin tone.
Julia Roberts in a schizophrenic outfit: Is it pants? Is it a chiffon gown? The only thing to agree on is that the color washes her out. (Terrific hair and earrings, though.)
If it weren't for the orange velvet trailing belt, this dress would completely disappear on Constance Wu.
*What* was Dior Haute Couture thinking putting Kiki Layne in one of the few colors that would look terrible with her skin tone?
Great dress with contrasting materials and jewelry on Julianne Moore... wish it were any color but white. (Interesting lead-in to the train in the back.)
Saoirse Ronan in a fine-wire slinky number that somehow manages to make her slim figure look hippy.
Terrific fit on Dakota Fanning but yet another look that would have been great in any other color but pale. (Fun from the back)
The Almost
I like what there is of this outfit on Elisabeth Moss but the more-mini-than-mini skirt makes it look like she's auditioning for the hit TV show in The Lego Movie: "Honey, Where Are My Pants?"
The well-fitted grey lace illusion top on Emily Blunt looks fine but the increasingly see-through skirt effect turns it into a failed craft project.
Love love love this material and bodice on Halle Berry. Hate hate hate the napkin fold at the waist of the skirt to create the slit. (Better from the back.)
Interesting well-fitted skirt on Rosamund Pike but not a fan of the bondage-and-beads upper part, especially given her very thin figure.
Just a little less material in the skirt and this whole look could be a winner on Gemma Chan.
Hair, jewelry, well-fitted skirt on Allison Janney all great; too long-sleeves and I-want-to-tug-it-up-onto-her-shoulder bodice disappointing.
I know this will sound weird but although I really, really like this starry tea dress and it fits fine with terrific shoes, I somehow don't think it works on Keltie Knight, whose arms and face are more "athletic girl next door." (This would be terrific on someone like Anne Hathaway, though.)
Terrific color on Michelle Yeoh, terrific material in the skirt, great fit, nice necklace, great hair... why, oh why, the leather bodice?
The Guys
Timothée Chalamet is apparently wearing a jeweled backpack.
Darren Criss in manly flowers.
Idris Elba looking fine in some welcome but demure color and cool shoes.
More color and a dashing scarf on Mahershala Ali.
Cody Fern goes androgynous.
Someone on Twitter said that Billy Porter stole his outfit from Princess Vanellope von Schweetz and I'm not even going to try to top that. Here's the outfit closed and open, and the detail work.
Feh on the Fit
This seriously looks like Emma Stone raided her mom's closet: it doesn't fit *anywhere*.
Not sure whether Claire Foy first tried this on with an industrial-strength Wonderbra but the fit on the bodice is shockingly bad.
If I'd have been Lili Reinhart and seen myself in the mirror, I'd have called for the saleslady to bring me this dress in the next smaller size.
Maya Rudolph in droopy excessive ruffles that look like she had to borrow a dress from a larger friend last-minute to attend a funeral. (She apparently didn't have time to style her hair either.)
I really like the flower bodice accent using material that matches the skirt on Caitriona Balfe but why the elephant hips?
If you have a petite client like Jeanne Mai, you shouldn't overwhelm them with heavy tapestry material, a ginormous skirt, and a structured bodice that pretty much has to be full of tape or it would walk by itself.
If you're going to squash the boobs on Amber Heard for a thin silhouette, why then drop the base of the bodice to her nether regions and add a skirt that has enough material for three others? (More skirt in the back.)
Looks like Keri Russell might be wearing this dress back-to-front.
Tiny too-short bodice on Heidi Klum is especially awkward when paired with the ginormous flower-strewn skirt.
Special Fit Award: I'm not a fan of this much skin on the red carpet and the sleeves are bizarrely too long, but the fit on Kristin Cavallari is incredible front and back.
Bad, Boo
Nicole Kidman looks like a beetroot popsicle.
I want to reach through the screen to yank the belt on Melissa McCarthy straight, slice the too-long sleeves off at the elbow, and get rid of the ugly, ugly ruffles.
Bizarre waitress ruffles on Sofia Carson accompanied by a large ugly tier in the skirt and a flattening bodice, made even worse by the eye-watering black/white contrast pattern.
Anne Hathaway in one of her rare misses decided to try for Sheena Queen of the Jungle.
Debra Messing looks matronly in this Bigfoot-pelt mess.
I think they used to dress pageboys in Poland like Elsie Fisher.
Rachel Weisz was apparently unable to pull her ruffled petticoat down over her hips under her skirt.
I love the idea behind this bodice on Kate Mara so much that I desperately want one of those quick-sketch cartoons where I could untie her weird Princess Jasmine ponytail, get rid of the ruffle and trim in the skirt, loosen the very interesting jeweled bodice so it wasn't squashing her girls like melons, and change the skirt to match one of the darker colors in the top.
We got the bad Laura Dern to start the season, wearing a series of red fold-out paper lanterns.
Lucy Liu looked like she promised to wear her kid's refrigerator art but tried to dilute it with a transparent cape.
Did Glenn Close forget her dress and have to wear the bag that a guy's suit came in?
Runner-up for Worst of the Night: Looks like Joanna Newsom got her dress from the Slutty Upper Class Waitress collection.
Worst of the Night: Janelle Monae in what I'm guessing was a contest winner in a fourth-grade art contest for what spaceship hostesses will be wearing in the 28th century.
Best, Yay
Lupita Nyong'o in an interesting beaded-effect twilighty sheath that shows off her shoulders.
Regina King looks good in this very well-fitted slinky pink beaded number with nice asymmetric sides and a flattering bustline that dips just enough.
Yvette Nicole Brown rocks this stretchy starry black number with a great fit.
This might be the best I've ever seen Amy Poehler look: flattering bodice with interest at the neckline matching the well-fitted skirt and good hair and makeup.
Finally, white on someone who can wear white: nice design and fit on Dominique Jackson.
Age-appropriate, good color tones, and nice overall look on Carol Burnett.
Ordinarily I would be totally against someone as pale as Jamie Lee Curtis wearing white but somehow this whole look works on her, and amazing how much interest the skinny diamond silver-work on the bodice creates.
Beautiful color, fit, and design on Rachel Brosnahan.
My first reaction to Jessica Chastain was that this looked like it was made from three different designs but the more I looked at it, the more I felt like the wackiness actually worked.
Terrific color on Patricia Clarkson, good fit, and, miracle of miracles, a plunging neckline at a flattering angle on someone!
Fabulous material and great fit on Penelope Cruz.
Finally, a mermaid skirt for mermaid material! Love the fit, the material, the color, and the makeup on Camilla Belle.
Best of the Night: I like the fluttery feel of the material and shoulder straps on Leslie Bibb and the terrific fit and silhouette, which make the fact that the base color matches her skin tone interesting rather than obliterating. (Wish she'd done something different with her hair, though.) This is probably not objectively the best dress of the night but it was the one I most liked looking at.
Attack of the Poofs
If I ever did an online contest, I'd ask people to guess just how many dresses could be made out of the material in Lady Gaga's ridiculously oversized dress, even more ridiculously oversized train, and large poofy arm train anchors.
Not sure why the designer decided to float the sleeve of this otherwise unobjectionable white asymmetric gown on Sandra Oh up on her shoulder.
This black, multi-colored sparkles number is not bad on Linda Cardellini, although it could use more of a waist. However, is anyone else reflexively scratching the left side of their neck?
Danai Gurira in a gorgeous orange overlay fabric, a great fit... and an orange peel on her shoulder.
Pale, Pale, Pale
Kirsten Bell plays it safe in a dress that almost matches her skin tone.
Julia Roberts in a schizophrenic outfit: Is it pants? Is it a chiffon gown? The only thing to agree on is that the color washes her out. (Terrific hair and earrings, though.)
If it weren't for the orange velvet trailing belt, this dress would completely disappear on Constance Wu.
*What* was Dior Haute Couture thinking putting Kiki Layne in one of the few colors that would look terrible with her skin tone?
Great dress with contrasting materials and jewelry on Julianne Moore... wish it were any color but white. (Interesting lead-in to the train in the back.)
Saoirse Ronan in a fine-wire slinky number that somehow manages to make her slim figure look hippy.
Terrific fit on Dakota Fanning but yet another look that would have been great in any other color but pale. (Fun from the back)
The Almost
I like what there is of this outfit on Elisabeth Moss but the more-mini-than-mini skirt makes it look like she's auditioning for the hit TV show in The Lego Movie: "Honey, Where Are My Pants?"
The well-fitted grey lace illusion top on Emily Blunt looks fine but the increasingly see-through skirt effect turns it into a failed craft project.
Love love love this material and bodice on Halle Berry. Hate hate hate the napkin fold at the waist of the skirt to create the slit. (Better from the back.)
Interesting well-fitted skirt on Rosamund Pike but not a fan of the bondage-and-beads upper part, especially given her very thin figure.
Just a little less material in the skirt and this whole look could be a winner on Gemma Chan.
Hair, jewelry, well-fitted skirt on Allison Janney all great; too long-sleeves and I-want-to-tug-it-up-onto-her-shoulder bodice disappointing.
I know this will sound weird but although I really, really like this starry tea dress and it fits fine with terrific shoes, I somehow don't think it works on Keltie Knight, whose arms and face are more "athletic girl next door." (This would be terrific on someone like Anne Hathaway, though.)
Terrific color on Michelle Yeoh, terrific material in the skirt, great fit, nice necklace, great hair... why, oh why, the leather bodice?
The Guys
Timothée Chalamet is apparently wearing a jeweled backpack.
Darren Criss in manly flowers.
Idris Elba looking fine in some welcome but demure color and cool shoes.
More color and a dashing scarf on Mahershala Ali.
Cody Fern goes androgynous.
Someone on Twitter said that Billy Porter stole his outfit from Princess Vanellope von Schweetz and I'm not even going to try to top that. Here's the outfit closed and open, and the detail work.
Feh on the Fit
This seriously looks like Emma Stone raided her mom's closet: it doesn't fit *anywhere*.
Not sure whether Claire Foy first tried this on with an industrial-strength Wonderbra but the fit on the bodice is shockingly bad.
If I'd have been Lili Reinhart and seen myself in the mirror, I'd have called for the saleslady to bring me this dress in the next smaller size.
Maya Rudolph in droopy excessive ruffles that look like she had to borrow a dress from a larger friend last-minute to attend a funeral. (She apparently didn't have time to style her hair either.)
I really like the flower bodice accent using material that matches the skirt on Caitriona Balfe but why the elephant hips?
If you have a petite client like Jeanne Mai, you shouldn't overwhelm them with heavy tapestry material, a ginormous skirt, and a structured bodice that pretty much has to be full of tape or it would walk by itself.
If you're going to squash the boobs on Amber Heard for a thin silhouette, why then drop the base of the bodice to her nether regions and add a skirt that has enough material for three others? (More skirt in the back.)
Looks like Keri Russell might be wearing this dress back-to-front.
Tiny too-short bodice on Heidi Klum is especially awkward when paired with the ginormous flower-strewn skirt.
Special Fit Award: I'm not a fan of this much skin on the red carpet and the sleeves are bizarrely too long, but the fit on Kristin Cavallari is incredible front and back.
Bad, Boo
Nicole Kidman looks like a beetroot popsicle.
I want to reach through the screen to yank the belt on Melissa McCarthy straight, slice the too-long sleeves off at the elbow, and get rid of the ugly, ugly ruffles.
Bizarre waitress ruffles on Sofia Carson accompanied by a large ugly tier in the skirt and a flattening bodice, made even worse by the eye-watering black/white contrast pattern.
Anne Hathaway in one of her rare misses decided to try for Sheena Queen of the Jungle.
Debra Messing looks matronly in this Bigfoot-pelt mess.
I think they used to dress pageboys in Poland like Elsie Fisher.
Rachel Weisz was apparently unable to pull her ruffled petticoat down over her hips under her skirt.
I love the idea behind this bodice on Kate Mara so much that I desperately want one of those quick-sketch cartoons where I could untie her weird Princess Jasmine ponytail, get rid of the ruffle and trim in the skirt, loosen the very interesting jeweled bodice so it wasn't squashing her girls like melons, and change the skirt to match one of the darker colors in the top.
We got the bad Laura Dern to start the season, wearing a series of red fold-out paper lanterns.
Lucy Liu looked like she promised to wear her kid's refrigerator art but tried to dilute it with a transparent cape.
Did Glenn Close forget her dress and have to wear the bag that a guy's suit came in?
Runner-up for Worst of the Night: Looks like Joanna Newsom got her dress from the Slutty Upper Class Waitress collection.
Worst of the Night: Janelle Monae in what I'm guessing was a contest winner in a fourth-grade art contest for what spaceship hostesses will be wearing in the 28th century.
Best, Yay
Lupita Nyong'o in an interesting beaded-effect twilighty sheath that shows off her shoulders.
Regina King looks good in this very well-fitted slinky pink beaded number with nice asymmetric sides and a flattering bustline that dips just enough.
Yvette Nicole Brown rocks this stretchy starry black number with a great fit.
This might be the best I've ever seen Amy Poehler look: flattering bodice with interest at the neckline matching the well-fitted skirt and good hair and makeup.
Finally, white on someone who can wear white: nice design and fit on Dominique Jackson.
Age-appropriate, good color tones, and nice overall look on Carol Burnett.
Ordinarily I would be totally against someone as pale as Jamie Lee Curtis wearing white but somehow this whole look works on her, and amazing how much interest the skinny diamond silver-work on the bodice creates.
Beautiful color, fit, and design on Rachel Brosnahan.
My first reaction to Jessica Chastain was that this looked like it was made from three different designs but the more I looked at it, the more I felt like the wackiness actually worked.
Terrific color on Patricia Clarkson, good fit, and, miracle of miracles, a plunging neckline at a flattering angle on someone!
Fabulous material and great fit on Penelope Cruz.
Finally, a mermaid skirt for mermaid material! Love the fit, the material, the color, and the makeup on Camilla Belle.
Best of the Night: I like the fluttery feel of the material and shoulder straps on Leslie Bibb and the terrific fit and silhouette, which make the fact that the base color matches her skin tone interesting rather than obliterating. (Wish she'd done something different with her hair, though.) This is probably not objectively the best dress of the night but it was the one I most liked looking at.
