Empty.
And suddenly.
there is no one left.
Only the sound my sniffling
And these watery trails to bear witness.
This misery is building a town, a village, a city.
Setting up residency for a population of one.
This is for my past I could not fix,
For my present that I cannot save,
And for the future I can never have.
This should not be happening.
I've had this conversation with myself six or seven years ago.
Why are those stories reliving themselve like a badly presented pantomime.
I thought I tore that chapter out, I thought I burnt it with a stolen lighter and watched the ashes dance pirouettes into the air.
The dust flew up and turned to stars and started glaring down, mocking me with their arrogant elegance.
This should not be happening.
Well technically it isn't happening directly at me,
But.
I wish I had someone to defend me back then.
I wish someone had sat beside me when i was crying, and stroked my hair and said,
"it's okay, of course they're gonna call you stupid, they think that a tough love upbringing would make us stronger. But they're proud of you y'noe. They told me that themselves, when they were comparing me to the both of you. After shouting at them they're gonna think that I'm a negative influence on you.I would tell you that they are reacting that way because they only care. But I know how you feel and what you're going through and that's probably why I'm so emotional and angry at them. For ten years I've been struggling, only to always end up that I've been failing. But if you learn from what I've done then you won't turn out like me and at least they'll have something to be proud about."
I wish there would have been a sad and close embrace after those words.
I wish it hadn't ended up with my face in my hands and the tears streaming endlessly onto my marble floor.
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