I'm doing the feedback before reading the rest, so I'm sorry if I am repeating anyone.
I loved this part, because that conversation was absolutely necessary. it cannot loom between them, what happened to Sawyer and what Sawyer did with Margot. I'm sorry that Jack has to hurt though, but it's necessary. It's hard, but he has to love Sawyer in spite of that, or he'll resent him forever.
a passage really moved me
Jack thinks that over, watching Sawyer’s face, the tightness in his jaw and the badly-masked vulnerability in his eyes. There are so many different answers to that question, but he’s not sure that Sawyer is ready to accept any of them. So instead he goes with the simplest, most truthful answer of all. “Because I love you
( ... )
It's hard, but he has to love Sawyer in spite of that, or he'll resent him forever.
That's the risk Sawyer took, wasn't it, to either trust Jack to love him anyway, or to accept losing him forever. And I don't think he believes he's worthy of Jack's trust. Now the issue is going to be whether or not Jack believes Sawyer's worthy, now that he knows everything.
This might be the most difficult relationship anybody ever tried to write, ever! WHAT a lot of issues! Is love really strong enough to conquer ALL? What's your best guess?
(Heh, you know me too well, don't you? You aren't even holding your breath. ;))
Thank you SO MUCH for all the great feedback. I hope I can make it all worth your while in the end. ♥
I love that you're drawing a parallel between them through their whole lives, and how it's not just one or two big things that connect them, but lots of little things, like they've always been somehow connected.
Man, that took some guts for Sawyer to just own up to it like that. I have to say, I'm proud of him, too, though you know he believes he just killed the most precious thing in his life. And you know he also believes his mother's death was somehow his fault, so to do it right after showing Jack where his mother was killed, was just so hard to write. They both are in so much pain right now...and right at Christmastime, too! Could I be engaging in a little catharsis here? That's what writing's good for, huh? I'm SO glad you're reading and enjoying. I will help you hold the boys, and somehow we will make it come out okay. *hugs everybody tight*
Posting now to hold my place in line...as last person ever to read! I've just finished reading chapters 5-9 and will comment at each chapter tomorrow morning, but I just wanted to say a few things in general first.
I'm not reading any comments until after I get all of mine made, so if I repeat - I'm sorry. I'll lose sight of all of my thoughts if I read everyone else's first. That is thing one.
Thing two is this: the series is a powerful, emotionally draining roller coaster, with elements of fancy and mystery entwined among the real life details of two lives being torn asunder by love - what people will do because they love, and in spite of the fact that they love. To have all of this drama set in the midst of a familiar backdrop - of home - is something that only I as a reader, and you as a writer, can appreciate, because girl, we've walked those hills. I can never tell you enough how I love you for bringing me home to my mountains.
Sweetheart, take your time reading. I know how push-pulled you are by work. Read when you can be in your comfie jammies, by a fire if possible or a cozy heater if not, with a blanket and maybe a glass of wine of Guinness ;) to help you relax. The next chapter will be a long combo of two chapters to get through all the rest of the WORK it's gonna take to get them on track, and from there on out it will be Christmas magic. That's what you can look forward to. Thank you for hanging in there, and I hope it'll be worth it all in the end. *loves and cuddles*
Gosh, this is just so good, you need high, high praise but you've broken my heart again. This story is just brilliantly structured and paced, it all comes together so well.
I love the beginning, and that line - The fight loved out of him, just such a beautiful image. I love how he fights and then he gives in but then seeing that it's only temporary, that he let himself melt into Jack for one night whilst already making plans to tear them apart again in the morning.
I love that tour that he gave Jack so much, how he finally gives Jack everything, shows him his childhood and tells him all the little details. And I love that he included the happy times as well as the sad. It's clear that he wanted to give Jack the whole picture here, show him all that potential that his life had before everything went to shit. He had pretty much the same start as Jack and I think he wanted to show that, show how different the paths they wound up taking were because he believes that that's why they can't be together, why they won't work
( ... )
It's clear that he wanted to give Jack the whole picture here, show him all that potential that his life had before everything went to shit. He had pretty much the same start as Jack and I think he wanted to show that, show how different the paths they wound up taking were because he believes that that's why they can't be together, why they won't work.Exactly. Once again you've seen it so clearly. He believes that it can't work, because of nature vs. nurture. They started out with parallel lives, but they they diverged so sharply that he thinks they can never truly relate to one another again. But I think that Sawyer thinks that Jack is more...hmm, what's the word I want? Elitist? Than he really is. I think that Jack's semi (or not-so-semi) abusive upbringing makes him more like Sawyer than Sawyer realizes. And maybe that's why Jack is the one who so stubbornly holds on, because he knows that Sawyer just doesn't get that yet
( ... )
Comments 23
I loved this part, because that conversation was absolutely necessary. it cannot loom between them, what happened to Sawyer and what Sawyer did with Margot. I'm sorry that Jack has to hurt though, but it's necessary. It's hard, but he has to love Sawyer in spite of that, or he'll resent him forever.
a passage really moved me
Jack thinks that over, watching Sawyer’s face, the tightness in his jaw and the badly-masked vulnerability in his eyes. There are so many different answers to that question, but he’s not sure that Sawyer is ready to accept any of them. So instead he goes with the simplest, most truthful answer of all. “Because I love you ( ... )
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That's the risk Sawyer took, wasn't it, to either trust Jack to love him anyway, or to accept losing him forever. And I don't think he believes he's worthy of Jack's trust. Now the issue is going to be whether or not Jack believes Sawyer's worthy, now that he knows everything.
This might be the most difficult relationship anybody ever tried to write, ever! WHAT a lot of issues! Is love really strong enough to conquer ALL? What's your best guess?
(Heh, you know me too well, don't you? You aren't even holding your breath. ;))
Thank you SO MUCH for all the great feedback. I hope I can make it all worth your while in the end. ♥
Reply
So proud of Sawyer for just up and telling Jack.
*holds the boys*
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I'm not reading any comments until after I get all of mine made, so if I repeat - I'm sorry. I'll lose sight of all of my thoughts if I read everyone else's first. That is thing one.
Thing two is this: the series is a powerful, emotionally draining roller coaster, with elements of fancy and mystery entwined among the real life details of two lives being torn asunder by love - what people will do because they love, and in spite of the fact that they love. To have all of this drama set in the midst of a familiar backdrop - of home - is something that only I as a reader, and you as a writer, can appreciate, because girl, we've walked those hills. I can never tell you enough how I love you for bringing me home to my mountains.
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Reply
I love the beginning, and that line - The fight loved out of him, just such a beautiful image. I love how he fights and then he gives in but then seeing that it's only temporary, that he let himself melt into Jack for one night whilst already making plans to tear them apart again in the morning.
I love that tour that he gave Jack so much, how he finally gives Jack everything, shows him his childhood and tells him all the little details. And I love that he included the happy times as well as the sad. It's clear that he wanted to give Jack the whole picture here, show him all that potential that his life had before everything went to shit. He had pretty much the same start as Jack and I think he wanted to show that, show how different the paths they wound up taking were because he believes that that's why they can't be together, why they won't work ( ... )
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