Chapters 10 & 11

Dec 14, 2006 17:33

Um, I combined two chapters here because I'm in a hurry to get to the fun part. :) I'm nervous about Chap. 11.

*bites nails*

Chapters 10 & 11 )

Leave a comment

Comments 27

gottalovev December 15 2006, 14:29:25 UTC
I liked them a lot, both chapters.

And yet in the midst of the peace he’d known that though Jack might believe that Sawyer was welcoming him home, he was really telling him goodbye.

ahh, the disguised goodbye sex, that always gets to me, because it's so sad in a way, especially since Jack thought it was making up.

I just cannot stand Margot anymore and I'm glad she went home. but Miz Millie? oh, evil! yes she is! al that anger and bitterness behind a fake southern-charm front. I cannot blame Jack for letting the little voices speak. but I'm glad he did shut them up now.

I'm looking forward to the REAL making up!!! =D

Reply

alliecat8 December 18 2006, 01:47:21 UTC
especially since Jack thought it was making up

I know, poor Jack. He keeps hoping, and Sawyer keeps dashing his hopes. But it's that stubborn nature of Jack's that will get them through. I think he can out-stubborn Sawyer, because deep down they both want the same thing. Poor Sawyer just has to figure out how to accept it.

Sadly, there are real people like Miz Millie. I didn't want to give the Deep South a bad rep, because most are not, but they do still exist. And they are simply products of their upbringing. I'm glad modern women know that they don't have to buy into that.

If you're looking forward to the real making up, your wait just might be over! *grins slyly* I'm so happy that this is making you happy! *glomps*

Reply


elise_509 December 15 2006, 18:18:23 UTC
Sawyer parks the truck in the yard and sits still for a moment, staring at his house. He wonders if he should try to sell it, or just burn it to the ground. He’s never going to be able to fix it; it’s too broken. He thinks the time has come to just admit defeat and destroy the place and try to move on.
Way to rock a metaphor ( ... )

Reply

alliecat8 December 18 2006, 01:51:39 UTC
Way to rock a metaphor!

I LOVE it that you see the metaphor. I never know if I'm showing what I want to show or not. And yes, poor Sawyer and his complete lack of self-esteem. He's all bravado, our boy, but the idea of being loved, really loved, just freaks him out. Never fear, the happiness is on its way. In fact, it just *might* already be posted. But this is a spoiler-free comment, so I will hush up now! I'm so glad you're reading and enjoying! ♥

Reply


gemjam December 15 2006, 21:48:40 UTC
Okay, I'm reviewing these as two separate chapters because my attention span won't stretch and I'll forget everything I wanted to say about the first half before I move onto the second part so I'm gonna talk about it now before I read what happens next ( ... )

Reply

alliecat8 December 18 2006, 01:59:27 UTC
let's himself wallow in all that he has left of Jack, which basically amounts to dirty sheets.Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way but you're so right. And it makes me hurt for Sawyer even more ( ... )

Reply


gemjam December 15 2006, 22:23:05 UTC
One thing that really struck me about this was all the history and colloquillism of the home you described. Again, it's all about that atmosphere that you can create so beautifully in this story, really evoking the surroundings for the reader ( ... )

Reply

alliecat8 December 18 2006, 02:12:24 UTC
Again, it's all about that atmosphere that you can create so beautifully in this story, really evoking the surroundings for the reader.One thing that makes that easier is writing what you know. I know the Smokies, I know Knoxville, and I hostess in an antebellum home every spring for Pilgrimage, so I was drawing on personal experience. Not that I know anyone quite as monstrous as Miz Millie, yikes, what IF Sawyer had grown up in that environment? Would he be the stereotypical "Southern gentleman," more like what we read about how Josh is in person? Or would he be an over-indulged, bigoted good ol' boy? It brings up the question of where he would've been better off, with his grandmother or in the situation where he ended up, or would each way have been equally dysfunctional ( ... )

Reply


eponine119 December 16 2006, 02:52:29 UTC
I love this.

I love that Jack doubts Sawyer. It's real, and real in fic seems kind of rare. Which is usually fine, because it's our little escape from reality, but when it turns up, it impresses me. It's like Sawyer's grandma's reaction to Jack and Sawyer's "deviance." Not something you usually see, but so real.

Miz Millie is a bitch on wheels, and I want to hate her, but I don't quite. I come close, and I don't know why I don't all-out despise her, like I do Jack's mom. The descriptions of her house are wonderful.

I love the story of Sawyer's mother, the way she defied her upbringing. I love how all the facts that Jack finds are ambiguous, so he has to decide whether he wants to trust Sawyer or not.

Reply

alliecat8 December 18 2006, 02:18:12 UTC
I am so glad you loved this! I hoped, after our trip to Oak Alley, that you'd be able to visualize the second chapter. I wonder if the reason you can't quite hate Miz Millie is because you know what you know; what I've told you. I don't want to say more here in an unlocked post, but do you know what I mean?

I didn't start out with the plan in mind to make this story about faith and forgiveness, and yet that's how it turned out. In the end, Jack can't have his "scientific" proof, if he wants to be with Sawyer he has to choose to have faith. I'm glad I got that across, and that you think it worked. Thank you for this wonderful feedback; I'm sorry it took me longer than it should to reply to it! And I haven't forgotten about email, it's on the way soon! ♥

Reply

eponine119 December 18 2006, 02:59:29 UTC
I know what you mean, and I don't know if that's why I liked Miz Millie or not. But yeah, totally picturing Oak Alley here.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up