More schmut, and we're almost at the end, guys. Thanks for...everything. You've been so wonderful through this whole, er, adventure! :)
♥
Chapter 15
Sawyer doesn’t bother with putting on clothes or even with wrapping a towel around his body, he just strolls naked into the bedroom. The bed is still rumpled from last night; the plumbing accident had taken all of their attention since they’d been so rudely awakened this morning and neither of them had bothered to make it. Now he pulls back the old quilt - a wedding ring quilt, his mamaw had called it, because of the interlocking fabric rings sewn into the cloth - and he tries not to think about what his grandparents would think if they could see the things that go on in their house now. It’s a hard question to avoid when their things are all around them; when he and Jack sleep in the same brass bed that the two of them once shared. He supposes he’s clinging to the same sort of denial that Jack is; he knows that Jack does his level best not to think about the fact that Sawyer once slept with Jack’s mother. They both need so badly to just bury the past and focus instead on the present. And look together toward the future. They need to remember that neither of them answers to anyone in their past anymore, they only answer to one another.
Jack comes into the bedroom carrying the portable electric heater he’d brought home earlier in the month. “I guess if we’re replacing the plumbing before we start on the heating system, I should buy another one of these,” he says, bending over to plug it into the wall.
“Come on over here and let me warm you up,” Sawyer suggests, and grins inwardly at the thought of what it will take to get cold-natured Jack through a long, chilly winter. The possibilities are endless.
Jack drops the towel and crawls between the sheets, and Sawyer envelops him in a sprawling embrace, trying to cover every inch of Jack’s body with his own. Jack gives a helpless little grunt, and Sawyer can feel his softening cock twitch and start to come back to life. Never one to be outdone, Sawyer’s own cock responds in kind.
Sawyer raises up on his elbows and looks down at Jack. His hair swings down around them, brushing Jack’s cheeks on both sides and enclosing them in a little private world. Jack’s warm brown eyes are filtered by a soft yellow light, making them seem to glow. In that instant Sawyer wants to say the words so badly it hurts, but still they won’t come. So he just kisses Jack instead.
When he gets his fill - no, correct that, because he’ll never get his fill of Jack - when he comes up for air Jack is hard and full against his thigh and Sawyer is halfway there himself and he can’t believe it, after having just had one of the most intense orgasms of his life only a few minutes before. He hadn’t known anything could feel like that, hadn’t even imagined that such intensity could exist. “What you did to me in there,” he says, the tip of his nose resting against Jack’s. “Did you know? I mean, that it’d be…like that? That good?”
“Sawyer…” Jack laughs a funny little laugh. Sawyer thinks he almost sounds bashful. “I had no idea what I was doing.”
Sawyer frowns at him playfully. “’Course you did, you’re a doctor.”
There it is, that giggle Sawyer loves so much. “They don’t teach you how to do that in medical school, Sawyer.”
“Sure felt like you knew what you were doin’.”
They kiss for a few more minutes, then Jack says, “It was really that good, huh.”
Sawyer grunts in agreement. “You were there.”
“Better than a blowjob?”
Sawyer feels a small twinge of pride that Jack has come this far; he didn’t even hesitate or blush when he said “blowjob.” “Different,” he says. “Deeper. I can’t explain it.”
“Then maybe you could show me.”
Sawyer blinks at him, honestly surprised. For all the progress he’s made, Jack can still be so inhibited. And he knows that Sawyer doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows that Jack is his first man. “I can try.” Sawyer sounds uncertain even to his own ears. “Wait right here a minute. Don’t move.” He rolls off of Jack and looks around the bedroom, wondering what they should use for lube. It’s a sign of how undone he is by this turn of events that the WD-40 Jack brought home crosses his mind, and he almost lets out a Jack-worthy giggle. Saner thoughts prevail, and he grabs a bottle of lotion from the bathroom cabinet and hurries back to bed.
Jack is lying on his back, looking at him with such a wide-open expression that it does something funny to Sawyer’s insides. Somehow it feels like they’re crossing a line, taking things to a new level, and in a way it scares him and in another way, it thrills him. He slides into bed, onto Jack, and kisses him hard before sliding off again and rolling him onto his side, facing the wall. Sawyer plasters his chest against the broad expanse of Jack’s back, and spoons his thighs and knees into Jack’s. Then he reaches around and grasps Jack’s swollen cock.
“You’re ready for me, aren’t you”? he murmurs. “You want me. You want to let me in like I let you in.”
Jack doesn’t answer, just shifts his hips back toward Sawyer’s body. A drop of moisture slides down the tip of his cock and onto Sawyer’s fingers. Sawyer bites back a moan, and reaches for the lotion. He strokes Jack’s cock with a steady, light pressure while he coats his index finger, and then slowly slides it home.
Jack moans at once, though Sawyer knows he hasn’t found the right spot yet. He thinks it’s just the idea of being so intimate, of sharing the secrets of their bodies, that makes everything seem so much more intense. He probes gently, still keeping a light easy rhythm on Jack’s cock, until finally he feels Jack’s body go rigid and he throbs in Sawyer’s hand. “Okay, that’s it, then,” Sawyer murmurs, almost to himself, and Jack groans, “Yeah, God, yeah that’s gotta be it. Just like that, Sawyer, oh.”
Sawyer drops his head so that it’s resting against Jack’s shoulder and he remembers what this felt like, what Jack must be feeling now, and he’s so overwhelmed with lust that he can’t help himself, he sinks his teeth into Jack’s skin, claiming him, taking him in in every way he can. Jack doesn’t flinch, in fact, he only seems to grow stiffer as his hips begin to hitch and he pushes himself into Sawyer’s hand, silently urging Sawyer to go harder, faster.
Jack’s cock is so hot now, hot and full and slick and his ass quivers under Sawyer’s stroking finger and Sawyer wonders if he can take more. He pulls his finger out and Jack sighs in disappointment. Sawyer says, “Wait, Doc. Just wait a second.” He relaxes his hand on Jack’s cock, not letting go of him yet, not wanting the release to be too abrupt; he just stops stroking him and holds him loosely in his hand for a moment before letting go. Then he reaches for the lotion again and liberally coats two fingers as he watches Jack, lying untouched and waiting, his whole body quivering with need.
He trails the edge of his hand across the hard curve of Jack’s ass, taking a minute to appreciate its shape, the familiar taut feel of it against his skin. Then he gently separates his cheeks and slowly, carefully slides two fingers inside. When there’s no protest and no sign of tension in Jack’s body, Sawyer breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m just gonna do this for a while, okay? Don’t want it to be over too fast.”
Jack just sighs, though whether it’s in agreement or disappointment, Sawyer isn’t sure. He finds the sweet spot again, he can tell by Jack’s gasp and the way his hand grips the quilt. It thrills Sawyer to know that he’s giving Jack a new experience, that in this, at least, he’s Jack’s first, just as Jack was his. His free hand goes to his own cock, fully hard now, and he works himself in the same rhythm that he’s pleasuring Jack with. Soon he’s rock-hard and dripping, watching Jack writhe on the bed, knowing that he’s brought Jack close to the brink without so much as a hand on him. The thought nearly undoes him, and almost without conscious thought, he pulls his hand away from Jack and fills his palm with lotion. He strokes his cock once, twice, the lotion only increasing the intensity, increasing the burn, and then he hauls Jack up, onto his hands and knees, and positions himself at Jack’s entrance. He should’ve stopped then, he should’ve waited for a sign from Jack that it was okay, but he’s afraid it isn’t okay and he thinks he’s past the point of no return. He has to do this. He has to.
Moaning helplessly, he pushes inside. Slow, slow, he tells himself. Let him get used to it. Jack makes a small, groaning noise and Sawyer hopes it’s surprise, and fears that it’s pain. He’s got enough presence of mind to say, “You okay, Doc?” but not enough power of will to keep himself from saying, “You’re so tight, so good, God, please don’t tell me to stop.” All he hears for a moment is Jack’s heavy breathing, and then Jack reaches up and takes Sawyer’s hand from its resting place on his shoulder, and brings it to his cock.
He’s still hard, Sawyer realizes with relief. He massages the hot skin and feels him go harder still, and finally Jack says, “Just take it slow. That’s how you like things, anyway, so just go slow and I think it’ll be okay.”
He likes it slow, but as he pushes into Jack as carefully as he can, he finds the pace excruciating. Jack is so hot, so tight, Sawyer feels as if the whole world has condensed down to just his cock, that nothing else exists except this. Once he’s inside completely, he holds himself there for as long as he can take it. Then he begins a slow grind, not pumping into him but just making small, easy motions until Jack begins to push back against him, telling him without words that he’s ready to be fucked in earnest. Released from his torture, Sawyer begins to move.
He slides in deep, deep, trying to get the same angle he’d found with his fingers, trying to make Jack moan and when he does, Sawyer feels like a god. Jack is enjoying this; the stiffness of his cock in Sawyer’s hand is evidence, as are the choked half-sobs coming from his throat. “Jack,” he says, and again, ”Jack!”, and Jack pushes back against him hard, forcing him in deeper still. Sawyer’s balls slap against Jack’s ass and he slides his free hand between them to squeeze Jack’s, feeling how hard and tight and full they are.
“God Sawyer, yeah, like that, just like that,” and Sawyer sweeps his thumb over the slick head of Jack’s cock and Jack shoves himself back against Sawyer hard again and again, and after just a matter of minutes Sawyer can’t believe it, Jack is the one who’s coming first. The sounds he’s making are deep, straight from his gut, straight from his very core, and Sawyer’s hand is suddenly slick and wet as Jack empties himself in one hot, hard spurt after another onto the sheet below. It’s too much for Sawyer, the sounds Jack’s making and the sight of his back muscles flexing as he comes and the feel of his hot ass clenching around Sawyer’s cock, and the world around him goes bright white as he loses control completely and slams into Jack, everything around him exploding in flames, and he feels the heat right down to the soles of his feet. And when it’s over and he can see again he looks at Jack below him, Jack’s head hanging limply between his shoulders, his back heaving as he struggles to catch his breath, and he wraps his arms around him and they sink down onto the mattress, Sawyer knowing that Jack is lying in his own sticky come and that he’s too undone to even care.
Jack makes a little noise when Sawyer carefully slips out of him, and the afterglow suddenly seems dimmer. “Are you okay?” Sawyer asks, worry creeping into his voice.
“Am I okay?” Jack’s voice sounds incredulous, even muffled by the pillow as it is. “Did you feel how hard I came?”
When Sawyer doesn’t answer right away, Jack obviously becomes concerned, and he rolls over and gives him a confused look. “Are you okay?”
“It’s just…,” Sawyer trails off, unsure how to put it, unsure about this emotion he’s feeling, shame. Shame isn’t anything new, but feeling it after sex, after sex with Jack, is so unsettling. “It’s just…I should’ve asked.”
Jack gives him a long look, and then his eyes soften in sudden understanding. “You’re afraid I didn’t want it.”
“I didn’t know if you wanted it or not. I should’ve waited til I knew. We never talked about whether we ever wanted to go there.”
“Sawyer.” Jack reaches over and puts his hand on Sawyer’s face. “I want what you want. If we’d talked about it, that’s what I’d have told you. I hadn’t even thought about whether or not I wanted us to go there, but when you did, I was okay with letting it happen.”
For some reason Sawyer can’t let it go. “Were you scared?”
Jack tries for a casual laugh, starts to shake his head, then he sighs and says, “Yeah.”
Sawyer’s brows draw together in a puzzled frown. “Then why didn’t you say something? Why’d you just let me do it?”
Jack’s hand slides lower so he’s cupping Sawyer’s jaw, and his thumb brushes over Sawyer’s cheekbone. There’s something tender in the gesture, and something almost regretful. “You really don’t know, do you? You still don’t get it.” He looks sad, but he also looks so sincere. “I let you because I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I did it because I trust you.”
Sawyer has to close his eyes against that look, and he has no words to respond. The words seem to hover in the air between them instead of sinking into his brain. How can Jack trust him, after everything he’s done? But the truth of it is there in his eyes. Jack has decided to believe in him in spite of everything. To trust Sawyer not to hurt him. Sawyer has faced plenty of scary things in his life, but nothing has ever scared him like this.
link to Chapter 16