Lost and Not Found-Part 2-A School Fiction.
Title: Lost and Not Found
Genre:Angst
Pairings:N/A
Ratings and Warnings: Swearing, PG-13
Summary: What happens after that surprise kiss?
Anthony's POV:
Run. Run. RUN.
Then only words that would cross my mind as I jumped over the school walls leaving Ian there to contemplate and then decide to hate me.
Wait a minute. Why am I running? There's no point. Everyone already hates me. It's not like one more would make a difference. One more person to make me more miserable. The thing is this person was more important than all the people in the world. He was the only person who might've liked me without even knowing me because I never did anything but...I just did something to him. I did something big to him.
Something that no person would ever forgive a person for doing.
I stop running a ponder for a while.
So let him catch you. If you don't care then let him catch you...
The thing is...I do care. The one thing I care about.
"Dude!" I hear a yell from behind me only to see Ian scrambling over the school walls to try and catch me.
I won't allow it. I just want to stay the lone emo kid who everyone hated. Even Ian. If that's how it has to be then so be it.
"Go away!" I hiss and bolt for an alleyway. I walk home because my home is literally around the corner. He can't catch me.
"No. I have a question!"
"We all have questions. Some will never be answered. Like yours!" I say continually running as he follows me through the alleyway.
"Oh really?" He raises a cocky eyebrow. "You wanna test that theory?" he says taking a deep breath and running slightly faster.
"No. I don't need to test it! Even if you do catch me. I won't answer it! Just leave me alone! I want to stay the loner. I WANT TO CONTINUE CUTTING MYSELF!" I gasp and skid to a halt as I realize what I just said. No. I just spilt something, something huge.
"You just want to...what?" I hear an astonished voice from behind me.
"I...I..."I mumble.
I just completely screwed myself over. I disclosed this huge secret. That's the problem with friends. NO. Not friends, just talking to people. That's the problem with people in general. It doesn't matter if they try or not. They always find a way to get the truth out of you.
I feel a slight snap inside of me.
There's no turning back now. You might as well tell him everything. Go on. He can't do anymore damage apart from tell the entire school. There are already roomers about me anyway though. So to hell with it.
"I want to continue cutting myself." I stand my ground. Not taking my eyes off his solid blue ones.
"Cutting? Yourself?" He stares at my arms which are covered by a jacket like they always are.
"Oh? You want to see them? Fine. I say lifting up the sleeve of my jacket to reveal a streak of red lines of self harm.
"You...No! You need to tell your parents! They must care! You need help dude!"
I let out a laugh.
"My parents? Nice try. It wouldn't make any difference to them if I was dead! What I do everyday is sit there and pretend to be what I'm not. I'm not the perfect son who sits there and does nothing. I don't even know why I do it. As I said before, there would be no change in their life if I was dead. So I might as well try. If death is the the only kind of release I can get then I should use it."
Ia shakes his head.
"No-one cares? NO one?"
"Absolutely no-fucking-one gives a shit. My parents are on the verge of divorce and neither wants me if they have to work as a single parent and it would be so much easier if I was gone. My grandma suffers dementia and doesn't even know who I am. The rest of my family is dead or doesn't care or doesn't know I exist."
"But-You can't do that to yourself!"
I close my eyes and shake my head.
"You don't get it do you? No-one gives a shit about me so don't try to act like you give a single shit either." I shoot at him.
"I'm gonna be honest and say that I don't give a shit because I don't know you. However, I would like to know you and learn to give a shit. I think you are the one who doesn't understand. Humans were brought up to be attracted to being social and being accepted. They survived because they fought together. You are just an exception. The loners didn't survive. Frankly Anthony, you are not surviving. I mean look at your arms." He looks at me solemnly. "But I'll go now."
"You do that." I spit back at him. I don't care what he just said. What I am is what I am and he can't change that. No matter his tactics. It's just the fact that I like him that made me falter for a second but I am still standing my ground firm and strong.
As raindrops begin to fall slowly Ian spins back around.
"One more question before I leave you alone."
"What?" I say raising an angry eyebrow.
"You saved me from the police yet you refuse to save yourself. Why?"
I stand there and ponder for a while. How to answer this question without completely screwing myself over again.
"I...I"
"You what?"
"I don't want others to end up like me, Doing this to themselves. I guess before I kill myself which is inevitable I wanna make sure that I never did anything wrong. It was those around me who made the fool of themselves."
That was also true in a way. I didn't want to be blamed for what I didn't do. However, I couldn't give a flying fuck about those around me apart from...certain people.
The rain begins to fall faster and stronger and Ian was hesitantly beginning to turn around...Did he live on the other side of town? He's gonna walk home in that? Idiot.
"Dude..." I mumble.
"Yes?" He say turning to face again questioningly because I just gave him the biggest 'get the fuck outta my face' invite ever.
"Do you maybe wanna, wait with me at my house until it stops raining? OR in the park...under a tree."
"Really? You just gave me a go away look when you said that last sentence. You serious?"
"Yeah, I guess I am." I mumble, punching myself for being so stupid on the inside.
"Let's go to the park. I don't care if being under a tree is the most dangerous thing to do during a storm, blah, blah, blah." Ian says. I don't pay attention. "As long as we can stay partially dry."
"Yeah. We can. I've done it several times to buy me sometime before I have to go back...there."
"You don't wanna go home?" Ian exclaims.
"No. I hate it there."
Whatever. He can know and spread it. I don't care.
We walk to the park in silence, well this isn't awkward at all.
At the park...
Ian's POV:
This guy was certainly full of surprises. Nasty ones at that.
I can't help but feel bad for him. Really bad for him.
Sitting under this tree is actually quite comfortable. This storm looks massive. Looks like we are gonna be here for a while. Might as well make conversation. Right?
"So dude...Why don't you talk at school?"
"I basically don't see the point. If I fail at school I fail at life which I've basically already done."
"You have to be more positive about things."
"What's there to be positive about?" He says looking out over the park intently.
"If you find one thing...you'll have 2 friends I guarantee." I mutter.
He turns to me confusion in his eyes.
"Why would it go straight to two? I don't even have one." He shakes his head getting his dark wet hair out of his eyes.
I smile.
"Because, you already have one..."
As he realizes what I meant he leans back against the tree with a very overwhelmed expression. For a guy who doesn't talk much he certainly shows expression his face.
"You know... I never actually learnt your name."
"My name? It's Anthony..." He answers shortly.
"Well, that's a good start..." I smile half-heartedly.
END...
I realised I made a mistake in the last part where Ian never learnt Anthony's name but I put it in his POV so that was stupid of me.
I couldn't make it as angsty today 'cuz I wasn't in that bad of mood anyway. I'm really tired so I hope you like it.
Anyways, that's all from me to day.
Feel free to to comment.
Genre:Angst
Pairings:N/A
Ratings and Warnings: Swearing, PG-13
Summary: What happens after that surprise kiss?
Anthony's POV:
Run. Run. RUN.
Then only words that would cross my mind as I jumped over the school walls leaving Ian there to contemplate and then decide to hate me.
Wait a minute. Why am I running? There's no point. Everyone already hates me. It's not like one more would make a difference. One more person to make me more miserable. The thing is this person was more important than all the people in the world. He was the only person who might've liked me without even knowing me because I never did anything but...I just did something to him. I did something big to him.
Something that no person would ever forgive a person for doing.
I stop running a ponder for a while.
So let him catch you. If you don't care then let him catch you...
The thing is...I do care. The one thing I care about.
"Dude!" I hear a yell from behind me only to see Ian scrambling over the school walls to try and catch me.
I won't allow it. I just want to stay the lone emo kid who everyone hated. Even Ian. If that's how it has to be then so be it.
"Go away!" I hiss and bolt for an alleyway. I walk home because my home is literally around the corner. He can't catch me.
"No. I have a question!"
"We all have questions. Some will never be answered. Like yours!" I say continually running as he follows me through the alleyway.
"Oh really?" He raises a cocky eyebrow. "You wanna test that theory?" he says taking a deep breath and running slightly faster.
"No. I don't need to test it! Even if you do catch me. I won't answer it! Just leave me alone! I want to stay the loner. I WANT TO CONTINUE CUTTING MYSELF!" I gasp and skid to a halt as I realize what I just said. No. I just spilt something, something huge.
"You just want to...what?" I hear an astonished voice from behind me.
"I...I..."I mumble.
I just completely screwed myself over. I disclosed this huge secret. That's the problem with friends. NO. Not friends, just talking to people. That's the problem with people in general. It doesn't matter if they try or not. They always find a way to get the truth out of you.
I feel a slight snap inside of me.
There's no turning back now. You might as well tell him everything. Go on. He can't do anymore damage apart from tell the entire school. There are already roomers about me anyway though. So to hell with it.
"I want to continue cutting myself." I stand my ground. Not taking my eyes off his solid blue ones.
"Cutting? Yourself?" He stares at my arms which are covered by a jacket like they always are.
"Oh? You want to see them? Fine. I say lifting up the sleeve of my jacket to reveal a streak of red lines of self harm.
"You...No! You need to tell your parents! They must care! You need help dude!"
I let out a laugh.
"My parents? Nice try. It wouldn't make any difference to them if I was dead! What I do everyday is sit there and pretend to be what I'm not. I'm not the perfect son who sits there and does nothing. I don't even know why I do it. As I said before, there would be no change in their life if I was dead. So I might as well try. If death is the the only kind of release I can get then I should use it."
Ia shakes his head.
"No-one cares? NO one?"
"Absolutely no-fucking-one gives a shit. My parents are on the verge of divorce and neither wants me if they have to work as a single parent and it would be so much easier if I was gone. My grandma suffers dementia and doesn't even know who I am. The rest of my family is dead or doesn't care or doesn't know I exist."
"But-You can't do that to yourself!"
I close my eyes and shake my head.
"You don't get it do you? No-one gives a shit about me so don't try to act like you give a single shit either." I shoot at him.
"I'm gonna be honest and say that I don't give a shit because I don't know you. However, I would like to know you and learn to give a shit. I think you are the one who doesn't understand. Humans were brought up to be attracted to being social and being accepted. They survived because they fought together. You are just an exception. The loners didn't survive. Frankly Anthony, you are not surviving. I mean look at your arms." He looks at me solemnly. "But I'll go now."
"You do that." I spit back at him. I don't care what he just said. What I am is what I am and he can't change that. No matter his tactics. It's just the fact that I like him that made me falter for a second but I am still standing my ground firm and strong.
As raindrops begin to fall slowly Ian spins back around.
"One more question before I leave you alone."
"What?" I say raising an angry eyebrow.
"You saved me from the police yet you refuse to save yourself. Why?"
I stand there and ponder for a while. How to answer this question without completely screwing myself over again.
"I...I"
"You what?"
"I don't want others to end up like me, Doing this to themselves. I guess before I kill myself which is inevitable I wanna make sure that I never did anything wrong. It was those around me who made the fool of themselves."
That was also true in a way. I didn't want to be blamed for what I didn't do. However, I couldn't give a flying fuck about those around me apart from...certain people.
The rain begins to fall faster and stronger and Ian was hesitantly beginning to turn around...Did he live on the other side of town? He's gonna walk home in that? Idiot.
"Dude..." I mumble.
"Yes?" He say turning to face again questioningly because I just gave him the biggest 'get the fuck outta my face' invite ever.
"Do you maybe wanna, wait with me at my house until it stops raining? OR in the park...under a tree."
"Really? You just gave me a go away look when you said that last sentence. You serious?"
"Yeah, I guess I am." I mumble, punching myself for being so stupid on the inside.
"Let's go to the park. I don't care if being under a tree is the most dangerous thing to do during a storm, blah, blah, blah." Ian says. I don't pay attention. "As long as we can stay partially dry."
"Yeah. We can. I've done it several times to buy me sometime before I have to go back...there."
"You don't wanna go home?" Ian exclaims.
"No. I hate it there."
Whatever. He can know and spread it. I don't care.
We walk to the park in silence, well this isn't awkward at all.
At the park...
Ian's POV:
This guy was certainly full of surprises. Nasty ones at that.
I can't help but feel bad for him. Really bad for him.
Sitting under this tree is actually quite comfortable. This storm looks massive. Looks like we are gonna be here for a while. Might as well make conversation. Right?
"So dude...Why don't you talk at school?"
"I basically don't see the point. If I fail at school I fail at life which I've basically already done."
"You have to be more positive about things."
"What's there to be positive about?" He says looking out over the park intently.
"If you find one thing...you'll have 2 friends I guarantee." I mutter.
He turns to me confusion in his eyes.
"Why would it go straight to two? I don't even have one." He shakes his head getting his dark wet hair out of his eyes.
I smile.
"Because, you already have one..."
As he realizes what I meant he leans back against the tree with a very overwhelmed expression. For a guy who doesn't talk much he certainly shows expression his face.
"You know... I never actually learnt your name."
"My name? It's Anthony..." He answers shortly.
"Well, that's a good start..." I smile half-heartedly.
END...
I realised I made a mistake in the last part where Ian never learnt Anthony's name but I put it in his POV so that was stupid of me.
I couldn't make it as angsty today 'cuz I wasn't in that bad of mood anyway. I'm really tired so I hope you like it.
Anyways, that's all from me to day.
Feel free to to comment.