#330; moonlight
Title: moonlight
Artists: EXO, SHINee
Pairings: Taemin/Jongin, mild!Jonghyun/Taemin
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9.439
Warnings: Some angst, hints of animal abuse
Prompt: #330 - Puppyboy!Jongin and his bff human!Taemin. + Jongin has pretty much imprinted on Taemin but Taemin isn't aware yet and Jongin doesn't wanna rock the boat. + Some angst if Tae has crushes/girlfriends/boyfriends but happy ending with besotted, quietly needy bottom!Jongin, pls
Notes: i took some liberty with the prompt; i think it may have a teeny bit more angst than was asked for, but alas i hope it is adequate!
To Jongin, Taemin is like the sun.
In the mornings, Jongin sits back and watches Taemin run around their flat in his hurry to get ready for work, because Taemin always wakes up ten minutes later than he sets his alarm clock for. Sometimes it's because of fatigue, but usually it's because Jongin takes advantage of the only time he's allowed on Taemin's bed and doesn't let him go until he gets enough cuddle time to last him for the day spent without Taemin.
Even like this, Taemin still reaches out a hand to ruffle Jongin's hair every time he walks past, still remembers to smile for Jongin to let him know he's not mad even if he'll get another scolding today once he arrives at work.
And it's those smiles that have Jongin sitting at the edge of his seat, eagerly awaiting each and every one with an unrelenting hunger. Because the gentle curve of Taemin's lips and the way his eyes shine when he looks at Jongin are what brings all the light to Jongin's life. He wants to make sure he has memorised Taemin's smiling face so he can think of it every time he feels lonely once Taemin leaves.
“Alright, I'll be going now,” Taemin says, all dressed and with his bag slung over his shoulder. He approaches Jongin and puts his hand on Jongin's head, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his forehead. “Be good when I'm gone, okay?”
And though Taemin lingers only for a moment longer, Jongin wants to burn to ashes in the light of those gleaming eyes.
-
When Taemin returns that day at four thirty-four in the afternoon, Jongin's eager greeting is what puts a smile back on his face even as his body sags from tiredness.
Despite the ache in his muscles after a day of lifting boxes and carrying loads, Taemin sets his bag down and immediately turns back to the door. “Let's go.”
“Are you sure?” Jongin asks like he always would and Taemin only smiles again.
“Of course.”
Jongin returns the smile and follows after Taemin. He knows the walk will be brief, but after spending the day cooped up inside, he's more than grateful Taemin walks him at all.
“How was your work?” Jongin asks as they make their way down the street, enjoying the stretch in his legs.
“Same old, same old. Ahjussi Minho yelled at me again when I came late. He thinks he's the boss or something,” Taemin huffs and shakes his head.
“Minho is not an ahjussi,” Jongin comments with a grin and Taemin laughs.
“That's what he likes to think.”
Taemin doesn't have that many friends (something Jongin is secretly thankful for) and Jongin can tell who he likes depending on how he talks about them. He's met Taemin's co-worker Choi Minho before, he had seen that they get along well - and he knows that's precisely the reason why Taemin speaks of Minho in that way.
“If Minho is an ahjussi to you, what am I? Hoobae?” Jongin jokes and Taemin gives him a sideways glance.
Then there's a hand scratching him behind the ear just right and Jongin leans in involuntarily.
“No, you're just Jongin. My Jongin.”
Taemin never speaks ill of Jongin, even lightly, and Jongin isn't sure whether that's supposed to be good or bad, but nevertheless he always feels a little bit special when an opportunity is there and Taemin refuses to take it.
“Your Jongin,” he agrees with a hum and Taemin smiles. Jongin's insides coil with warmth at the sight and he finds himself staring at Taemin long after he had returned his gaze straight ahead.
-
One Saturday Taemin decides they should spend the day out of the flat, and Jongin's more than thrilled to hear it.
“I heard a new pojangmacha has opened near the park we always go to. They sell hotteok. You like hotteok, don't you?”
And so they go.
Taemin sets a slow pace in the direction of the park, and while a part of Jongin itches to sprint ahead and release all his pent up energy from the week he's spent mostly sitting at home, he tags along as close as he can just to listen to Taemin's usual ramblings.
“When will they rebuild this shop? Honestly, it's falling apart.”
“Good morning, ahjumma. Yes, I will. You have a nice day, too.”
“Ah, why is there always such a crowd here? Keep close, Jongin.”
Taemin often likes to run commentary about the scenery they pass, even if it's exactly the same every day, and Jongin keeps quiet because he's long ran out of things to respond with. Taemin's voice is pleasant to listen to, so it doesn't matter.
When they make it to the park, Taemin gives Jongin ten minutes to do some running around and catching up with Chanyeol, the local labrador mix who has a collar around his neck yet his owner is never to be seen. Chanyeol spends his entire days at the park in a faithful wait, and sometimes Jongin feels bad for him, doesn't understand how Chanyeol can survive without cuddling up to a human on a nice warm couch or without a hand there to scratch him behind the ears.
But Chanyeol never complains so Jongin doesn't question him.
“Hey! You're here early!” Chanyeol comments when Jongin sits by his side underneath the shade of one of the trees.
“Just passing by, we're going to one of those market places.”
“Oh, I love these! If you look at them nicely, they'll give you treats for free!” Chanyeol says with excitement lighting up his eyes, his black ears perking up atop his head.
Jongin wouldn't know - he's never had to beg for food. He nods anyway.
“Taemin said he'll buy me hotteok. I've not had them since last season,” Jongin reminisces, his mouth watering at the thought.
Chanyeol's shoulders sag a little but his smile still remains. “Taemin is a good human, isn't he?”
Jongin doesn't even have to think about the answer; he nods eagerly, lips involuntarily stretching into a smile. “Of course! I lo-- I really like him,” Jongin stutters, heat suddenly seeping into his skin and he doesn't know why.
But Chanyeol just keeps smiling. “You're lucky to have him. Take care of him, okay?”
Jongin's expression mirrors Chanyeol's, and he reaches out a hand to pat his friend on the shoulder. “Your master will come back someday.”
Chanyeol's eyes fall to the ground, but he nods solemnly.
Jongin opens his mouth to say something else, but the call of his name from afar catches him off guard. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees Taemin standing by the park entrance and waving towards him, so he hurriedly rises to his feet. “Gotta go - see you later!”
Jongin sprints over to Taemin's side, latching onto his arm. Taemin laughs.
“What's with you, suddenly.”
“I missed you,” Jongin mumbles, pressing his mouth into Taemin's shoulder and Taemin only laughs again.
“Okay, okay, I'll make it up to you.”
The smell of warm food fills Jongin's nose long before they reach the pojangmacha and by the time they're actually there he's practically crying for Taemin to hurry up and buy him something.
It takes them five more excruciating minutes to find the stand Taemin was looking for, but the pretty bronzed colour of the hotteok laid out on the griddle easily puts Jongin in a forgiving mood.
“We'll have four, please,” Taemin says to the young man behind the griddle, who smiles with a nod and starts preparing the order. Jongin thinks he's glancing at Taemin a bit too often for comfort, but he keeps the thought to himself. Just a moment longer and they'll be gone.
“Aren't you a bit too young to be working here?”
Jongin is surprised when Taemin is the one to start the small talk. Even if Taemin likes to run commentary, he had always enjoyed running it to Jongin specifically. He hardly ever chatted up strangers, and usually only offered them a smile if they tried to speak to him. Then Jongin notices Taemin's got that spark in his eyes and his heart skips a beat.
That look can only mean one thing.
The street vendor's smile turns playful as he presses the last of their four hotteok against the flat steel. “My father is the real owner of this. I'm just filling him in for today.”
Taemin nods and reaches out his arms to take the bag of pancakes. When Jongin sees Taemin's fingers brush against the skin of the stranger, the hair on the back of his neck rises.
“Kim Jonghyun,” the vendor offers, giving Taemin an obvious one-over.
“Lee Taemin.”
Jonghyun grins this time, a flash of white teeth, and Jongin hates how Taemin easily returns the gesture.
“Nice to meet you, Lee Taemin. Say, can I get your number? Maybe we could go out together some time.”
Jongin keeps his mouth pressed into a thin line and he has to physically fight back the growl that threatens to spill from his throat when Taemin takes out his phone and recites his number to the vendor.
Thankfully, the line of people waiting behind Taemin gets too long to be ignored and they're forced to hurry along.
“I'll see you later, Lee Taemin.”
No. Don't say his name like that.
“Later, Kim Jonghyun.”
Jongin's jaw starts to hurt from how tightly he's keeping it shut. When they finally finally finally leave the stand, Taemin finally finally finally turns to look at him.
He hands Jongin a pancake. “Eat up, Jongin! They're really good, you know.”
Taemin doesn't notice how tense Jongin's body is, how he grips the pancake hard enough to break it into two, how his ears deflate and tail sags behind him. Taemin doesn't notice and a little something deep inside Jongin's chest cracks.
-
It's Tuesday, four thrity-seven in the afternoon.
Why isn't Taemin home?
He's three minutes late. Sometimes there are delays on the trains, but Jongin worries anyway.
With uneasy steps, he paces around the living room, glancing to the window each time he passes it by. Each time he's a little more disappointed that he can't spot the tall uniform-clad figure, the mop of blond hair gleaming in the street light.
Another ten minutes pass and Jongin's stomach tightens in discomfort.
Why isn't Taemin home? Where is he? What has happened to him?
Worst of all, what is Jongin supposed to do?
His heart races as his mind offers up a flurry of scenarios. What if Taemin was involved in an accident at work? What if there was an accident on his way back? What if someone attacked Taemin? What if Taemin was hurt and alone and Jongin wasn't by his side, stuck in their flat in utter helplessness?
Jongin can't do this.
Panicked eyes scan the apartment as anxiety throws Jongin's body into a tremor.
-
Taemin slides the door open gently, stepping in and and hurriedly closing it behind him.
“Jongin?” he calls out into the empty space, settling his bag down on the floor. “Hey, I know I'm late but-- Jongin?”
Taemin stops in his tracks as he finally notices the eerie silence of the apartment. It takes him another moment of blinking into the darkness to realise all the lights are off.
Taemin gulps heavily and feels his heart pounding as he blindly searches the wall for the light switch.
“Jongin? Are you there? Are you okay? Please answer me if-- Jongin!”
When he finally finds the switch and the light floods the living room before him, Taemin can only stare with an open mouth.
The floor is a mess. There's bits of foam and cotton and rubber and who knows what else scattered all around. Pieces of the sofa are scratched off. One of the curtains has been dragged down and whatever has been once seated upon the table has been knocked down, including Taemin's old glass of coke which now stains the oakwood surface.
Jongin is tucked into the corner of the room, hugging his knees with the blanket from his bed draped over his form and squeezed tightly between his fists. He winces at Taemin's yell and Taemin immediately feels bad, but not bad enough to relent.
“Jongin! What have you done?” Taemin says in exasperation as he enters the room.
But Jongin continues to ignore him, eyes staring at his blanket with shaking pupils.
Taemin approaches him, trying his best not to appear threatening but unable to help the deep frown on his face. “Jongin. Answer me: what have you done? Why did you do this?”
Jongin finally yields, daring a quick glance up at Taemin before looking back down. “I-I'm sorry! You didn't come home and I-- I was scared and I couldn't-- I didn't know what happened-- You didn't come home!” Jongin blurts out with a quivering lip before hiding his face between his knees.
Taemin sighs, knowing there's no way he could be angry at Jongin for long.
He shuffles closer and places his hands on Jongin's shoulders. It's cue enough for Jongin to immediately throw himself into Taemin's arms, clinging onto his back so tightly Taemin struggles to breathe for a moment.
“Okay, it's okay. I'm home now,” Taemin says quietly, repeating the words over and over while gently massaging Jongin's back until Jongin slowly relaxes in his hold.
When Jongin finally pulls back enough to look at Taemin, his eyes are gleaming more than usual, but his face is dry of any tears. Taemin is not surprised - it seemed no matter how distressed Jongin could get, no actual tears would ever flow from his eyes. In some way, Taemin's thankful for that. He doesn't think he could handle seeing Jongin cry.
“You're angry?” Jongin asks, doubt creasing his eyebrows.
“No,” Taemin sighs. “It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you like this.”
Taemin rises to his feet, holding onto Jongin's hands to help him up. “I suppose I better clean this up.”
“I can help,” Jongin offers and Taemin hesitates.
“Alright,” he agrees eventually, bending down to pick up the abandoned blanket from the floor. “Here, go put this away.”
Jongin takes the blanket and his expression lights up at the prospect of being useful. He runs off to the bedroom and Taemin takes another look around the damaged living room before rolling up his sleeves and making his way over to the kitchen to find some bin bags and a strong cleaning product for that spilled coke. At least that'll teach him to clean things up right away, he supposes.
-
On Thursday evening, they're curled up on the sofa (the spot right by Taemin's head is ripped open and a bit of foam rubs against his face every time he moves, but he's already getting used to it) with Jongin resting his head on Taemin's shoulder and their hands clasped together in Taemin's lap.
Some mindless show is playing on the television in front of them and Jongin's not paying it any attention, much more focused on the way Taemin's chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, the strong, resounding heartbeat he can hear reverberating through Taemin's ribcage.
And it's moments like these, quiet moments where Jongin is just enjoying Taemin's presence, that often take him back to a time before he met Taemin, a time where the colours were duller and the sounds muted and the only thing that ever mattered was the gleam of danger.
Jongin doesn't want to remember, but his body does it for him without an ounce of control.
Jongin remembers the way he'd watch the shadows move from the darkness, the way he'd strain his ears for any sounds that could warn him of the danger before it arrived. He remembers the way his body instinctively curved inwards as his only way of self-defence.
A shudder runs down his spine and he subconsciously snuggles closer to Taemin, pressing their bodies together and nuzzling into Taemin's neck. Taemin hums and Jongin can feel the sound travelling through the skin on his throat.
“What's up?”
Jongin takes his time in replying, unsure of whether to bring up the topic, but eventually decides it's best to answer. “I remembered them.”
“Who?”
Jongin gulps. “The bad humans.”
“Oh.” Taemin doesn't say anything in response, but his hands tighten around Jongin's and that is enough.
Taemin's learned not to ask, Jongin thinks, because Jongin always refused to say any more on the subject other than those three words. He was once afraid that this answer would eventually stop satisfying Taemin, that he'd be forced to say more or be left on his own again, but that never happened.
It took Jongin a long time to learn he didn't have to be afraid of Taemin.
Silence overtakes them once more, a comfortable sort of quiet that causes Jongin's eyelids to grow heavy. Just as he's about to give in to the call of sleep, Taemin's voice brings him back to attention.
“Hey, Jongin. There's something I need to tell you.”
Taemin's tone is casual but the words immediately cause Jongin to worry. He waits for a while and when Taemin remains silent, he prompts: “What is it?”
“Well... You remember Jonghyun, right? You know, the vendor with the hotteok?”
Jongin tenses as images of the man's face flash through his memory. His heart-rate picks up.
“Jongin? Yes?”
“...Yes.”
“Well, I've been talking to him. Actually, I was meeting him for coffee after work on Tuesday, that's why I came home late.”
Jongin leans away from Taemin, his mouth turning uncomfortably dry.
“And well, he kind of asked me out? So I guess we're dating now.”
Jongin doesn't know what to do, or how to react. He just stares at Taemin blankly, trying to drown out the sound of his own pounding heart in favour of hearing Taemin as he continues to speak, eyes glued to the television.
“Anyway, that's not the point - you see, he wants to come over Saturday, said that's the only time he can make it this week. So I told him it's fine. You don't mind, right?”
He does.
He does.
Saturdays are their days, days they spend together and do things and go to places and it's just the two of them and Jongin does not want anyone intruding on the only time of the week he can so freely enjoy his time with Taemin.
Taemin finally turns to look at him, his expression as cheerful as usual, as if nothing's amiss.
That's when it hits Jongin - Taemin is the one who doesn't mind.
Taemin is fine with this. Taemin is fine with giving up their time in favour of meeting this stranger - this Jonghyun - and he doesn't seem to notice that Jongin is anything but.
“I don't mind,” Jongin recites, slowly removing his hands from Taemin's to instead tuck them in at his sides.
Taemin smiles. “Thanks, Jongin. I'll make it up to you next week.”
As he sits there staring blankly at the TV screen, Jongin feels another part of him crack somewhere beneath his skin.
-
Jongin has spent the entire day curled up in his bed and refused to leave it despite numerous attempts from Taemin to woo him out. He didn't agree to go on a walk, leaving Taemin to go on a morning shopping trip by himself. Even the promise of Korean beef for lunch hadn't budged him, and he knows Taemin's worried, he knows, but he just can't bring himself to get up.
It's a little past five in the afternoon now and Kim Jonghyun's due to arrive at any moment. Jongin senses Taemin's nervousness all the way from the living room and it only serves to make him more upset. Why is Taemin anticipating this so much?
The doorbell rings five minutes later and Jongin doesn't want to hear any of their conversation. For once he regrets how well-developed his senses are because every word rings as clear in his ears as if they were stood right next to him.
“Hey, Jonghyun.”
“Good afternoon! How are you doing?”
“Fine, come in. I've got that movie you asked for.”
“Great! I brought the snacks. Sorry it's nothing fancy.”
“Not at all, I love yangparing!”
Jongin's plan is to sit it all out in hiding and erase it out of his memory once it's over. He hears Taemin and Jonghyun move about the living room and have a light conversation, and Jongin just wants the blanket he's covered with to swallow him up and close him off from the rest of the world.
But then he hears footsteps nearing the bedroom and for a moment he fears it's the stranger.
“Jongin?” Taemin peeks in and Jongin throws him a single look before hiding his face under the blanket. “Jongin, come on. Why don't you come out and meet Jonghyun? He's nice, you know.”
“No.” Jongin's voice comes out muffled from underneath the blanket but he refuses to move it.
“You can watch the movie with us, if you like,” Taemin tries again.
“Don't want to.”
Jongin hears a sigh of defeat and then Taemin walks away and Jongin's filled with regret for a short while, but the sound of Jonghyun's voice from afar only intensifies his budding anger and he knows if he had accepted the offer, nothing good would have come out of it.
So Jongin lays there in his bed and wallows in loneliness because he doesn't know what else to do.
Taemin's never had an actual boyfriend before, even if he has had crushes in the past (Jongin's still bitter about that guy named Jinki because Taemin wouldn't stop talking about him for months, until he finally found out Jinki had a girlfriend and his feelings quickly dissipated, blessed be). Whenever Taemin's friends came over, Jongin would sit quietly and observe them until he got used to them enough to feel comfortable with sharing his space with them, but he doesn't think that method would work with Jonghyun because Jonghyun is more than a friend. Even if Jongin thinks his bond with Taemin is much deeper than Jonghyun's, he'd feel as if he was intruding. Unwelcome. The third wheel.
Time passes slowly for Jongin. He can hear the echoes of Taemin and Jonghyun talking occasionally, though he can't pick anything out with the sound of the movie deafening their conversation. The dull sound coupled with Jongin having gone through the entire day feeling anxious makes him feel tired, and he closes his eyes.
There's a sound of screaming not too far off. The shadows move faster during those times, and Jongin's eyes struggle to keep up.
He senses someone approaching him before he sees them, and his body reacts on its own, his arms wrapping around his tummy and his knees bent at his chest. Jongin shakes in anticipation, eyes shut tightly but the image of someone raising their hand is still clear in his mind.
Jongin feels hopeless.
The hand sharply moves down towards him and he tenses.
Jongin jolts awake with a gasp. Sweat trickles down his forehead and he's panting as if he had just ran a marathon. He kicks the blanket off and quickly sits up, looking around wildly, eyes landing on Taemin's empty bed.
It's dark outside; why isn't Taemin in bed? Where has he gone?
But then reality slowly sinks in and Jongin's reminded of all that had happened, and while the thought of Taemin with Jonghyun isn't all that welcoming, he much prefers it in face of his worries.
Slowly, he sinks back down onto his covers and lies there for a while, willing himself to calm down. That's when he realises the flat is strangely quiet. No sounds of the movie reach his ears, nor of any conversation.
Maybe more time had passed than he anticipated? Maybe it's late in the night now and Jonghyun's gone? Maybe Taemin has fallen asleep on the couch? Or maybe Taemin's sitting there by himself, and what if he's lonely?
So Jongin slowly slides his stiff body off the bed, his joints aching at the lack of use. He gives himself a stretch enough that he can stand on his feet steadily, and on his tip-toes he starts making his way out of the bedroom and towards the living room.
The first thing Jongin sees is Taemin's messy blond hair sticking out from above the sofa, and he feels a little relieved at the thought that Jonghyun is really gone.
He steps quietly forward, intent on giving Taemin a little surprise by sneaking up on him from behind, but then his eyes catch a movement on Taemin's right and he freezes.
Jonghyun's still here.
Not only is Jonghyun here, but his head is rested on Taemin's shoulder, and Jongin seethes because that's his spot.
But before Jongin can finally yield to his urge to sink his claws into Jonghyun's skin, Jonghyun does something that breaks Jongin's spirit.
“Taemin?” Jonghyun asks in a quiet voice, and when Taemin turns to look at him, Jonghyun leans in to press their lips together.
But the worst part is that Taemin doesn't move away.
Anger dissipates out of Jongin at the speed of light, replaced instead by the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.
And it's Taemin.
Taemin makes him feel this way and Jongin can't handle it. Something inside of his chest bursts into a million pieces.
The sound that escapes him is a mix between a whine and a sob, and immediately Taemin's and Jonghyun's eyes are on him, and he can't take it, he can't, he turns away.
“Jongin!”
But Jongin is already out the door and he's not planning on stopping, not until that wretched feeling stops swallowing him up with every beat of his pounding heart.
-
Truth be told, Taemin had been reluctant about their meeting from the beginning.
Because while Jonghyun was nice, and they certainly shared a similar passion for music, Taemin didn't feel like he could build a bond with him. The initial click he thought he sensed on their first meeting was more of a physical attraction, he realises as their Tuesday evening comes to an end, but he still decides to give Jonghyun a chance. It had been a long time since Taemin had last been interested in anyone, and Jonghyun was pleasant company, so if nothing else Taemin hoped they could at least become friends.
By the time Jonghyun arrives at his flat on Saturday, Taemin's not in the best of moods, even though he tries to play it off as a small headache. Jongin had been acting strange all day and refused to leave his bed and try as he might, Taemin can't concentrate on the movie. His mind keeps wandering back to Jongin and he taps his fingers against his knee in worry.
Jonghyun's hand comes to catch his and when Taemin looks at him, Jonghyun's smiling curiously.
“You're ignoring me, and I can't tell if you're nervous because of me or because of something else.”
Taemin tries to laugh it off, and he can see Jonghyun doesn't buy it, but he doesn't put up a fight about it either and Taemin is grateful for that.
They spend most of the evening in silence and an hour and half later Taemin's just wishing for the movie to end already so he can go check up on Jongin. He hadn't left his room once since Jonghyun's arrival and Taemin wants to be sure he's alright. Give him a nice long hug for having neglected him in Jonghyun's favour, promise him to never give up their Saturdays again and keep his word because honestly this evening wasn't all that great.
When the credits roll, Taemin starts thinking of how to kick Jonghyun out in a nice way, a maybe-we-can-be-pals way, and it takes him a while to actually notice Jonghyun's head is rested on his shoulder.
He berates himself in his mind for not noticing sooner and promises to start paying more attention because he doesn't want to send Jonghyun the wrong signals.
Just as he's about to start on his kick-Jonghyun-out mission, Jonghyun calls his name and Taemin looks down at him, wondering if Jonghyun would volunteer to leave without Taemin having to explicitly tell him to.
Instead, Jonghyun does the very opposite and leans in to kiss Taemin.
At first, Taemin's frozen with mild shock, but he regains his composure and makes sure to keep his lips tightly shut and unmoving. Jonghyun gets the hint pretty quickly, pulling away and opening his mouth to say what Taemin assumes from the look on his face is an apology.
But before he can breathe a word, there's a sound of a high-pitched sob from somewhere behind them and Taemin's head snaps in its direction.
Dread runs cold through his veins when he catches a glimpse of Jongin's face as he's turning away.
“Jongin!” Taemin yells, jumping to his feet, but his only response is a slam of the front door. “Shit.”
Taemin glances at Jonghyun, who had risen to his feet too, and is now looking between the door and Taemin in confusion.
“Sorry,” Taemin says, running a hand through his hair as he starts making his way towards the door, faster with every step he takes. “Just-- I have to-- I'll--”
“Wait, you're just gonna leave?”
But Taemin's mind is too busy swirling with worry for him to care about leaving a stranger alone in his apartment. By the time he's out of the building, he's racing across the street towards the park, his chest heaving with an intangible sort of pain, one that swells in his heart and sends shivers of fear through his entire body.
Jongin had never run from him before - he'd never even left the apartment without Taemin, all the more reason for him to worry over Jongin's well-being. What if Jongin got lost? What if he ran out onto the road, or encountered a dog-catcher? What if someone was going to hurt him?
Taemin sprints past the entrance to the park and looks around wildly, trying to make out any sort of recognisable shape in the darkness. The few street lamps scattered around the park offer some help, but Taemin spots no hint of movement.
So he runs through the entire park, checking under benches, near Jongin's favourite spots to lay in during summer, the tree under which he'd always sit with Chanyeol, the bushes behind which Jongin would always hide whenever that one particularly mean dog showed up in the park.
But there is no trace of Jongin anywhere and by the time Taemin had made a full circle through the park, he's close to giving up.
Then suddenly his mind conjures up an image of one more alternative. One more possible place where Jongin could be hiding, and Taemin tries his best to slow his pounding heart down as he exits the park and starts the ten or so minute walk towards that place.
His efforts are in vain and he ends up sprinting once more, muscles aching dully and stomach cramping from a mix of exertion and anxiety.
Carefully, Taemin enters an empty street lined with old-fashioned buildings on either side. Most of the street lights here are broken or barely at work, flashing dim specks of light here and there. Taemin's footsteps resound against the walls in the dull silence, and though the atmosphere is anything but welcoming the deeper he walks in, he doesn't stop until he reaches a small, barely visible alleyway almost at the end of the street.
The alleyway is pitch black, and no sound comes from it. Taemin takes a step in anyway.
“Jongin?” he calls out, his voice like a booming clap of thunder against the dreary silence.
It had been here that Taemin first found Jongin, bundled up in a ragged blanket and shivering all over from the merciless pounding of the rain. Taemin had wandered into the street by accident, wrongly following the directions of the GPS on his phone as he tried to locate his friend's new apartment. He almost walked right past Jongin's hiding place: the only thing that gave away his presence was the sniffling of his nose.
When he had first spotted the curled up pup, Taemin knew he couldn't live with himself if he had just left it there. All it took was a gentle voice and a pat on the head for Jongin to jump into his arms, and the rest was history.
But now, as Taemin steps more and more into the darkness of the alley, he can't help but be filled with doubt. It's too tranquil, too still for someone to be hiding there, surely even Jongin couldn't keep this quiet--
The silence is broken by a barely audible whine.
With new-found hope, Taemin walks forward until he reaches the end of the alley, and relief washes over him as he finally spots the familiar curled up pup tucked into a corner between the walls.
“Jongin!” he exclaims, squatting in front of the pup and extending his arm.
Taemin freezes when he hears a low growl emit from Jongin, his entire body tensing up.
“Jongin, please,” he tries, shuffling a little closer, but Jongin only presses himself into the wall and finally looks up at Taemin, only to shoot him a teary-eyed glare. “You're crying?”
“No,” Jongin grumbles out, voice strained. “Stay away from me.”
Frustrated, Taemin tries to reach for Jongin again, but his arm is shoved away forcefully. His forearm stings where Jongin's claws had stricken him and he hisses in pain.
“Jongin, don't do this,” Taemin murmurs, massaging at the aching spot with his other hand. He doesn't think Jongin's ever been this upset with him. “Please, I know you're sad since it was Saturday, our day, but--”
“No, that's not it!” Jongin lashes out, and for a minute Taemin thinks Jongin would attack him again, but no such thing happens. Jongin merely glares, cheek muscles twitching with anger. “You-- you and-- and him, you--” he stutters, eyes glazing over and it hurts to watch him like this.
“Yes, I know, I spent time with Jonghyun instead--”
“No, just-- just go away,” Jongin huffs finally, grabbing a handful of his own hair with both hands and curling in on himself.
Taemin opens his mouth to try to coax Jongin into forgiving him, but Jongin cuts him off before any words fall out of his mouth.
“I said, go away! Leave me alone! You're a bad human,” Jongin chokes out, and that's when his shell breaks, his tediously kept-up defence shatters.
Taemin watches in shock as Jongin's body is wrecked with unrestrained sobs, tears falling thickly from his eyes and trailing down his face. He yearns to reach out and cradle Jongin, hold him close, wipe his tears away, tell him everything was fine, but his own heart aches at Jongin's words.
There is only one kind of people that Jongin refers to as “bad” and Taemin feels all hope seep out of his bones as he stares hopelessly at the crying Jongin.
“I--,” Taemin utters, voice breaking. He tries again. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jongin.”
Stiffly, he staggers to his feet, holding onto the wall to keep his balance. He gives Jongin one last, long look before turning to walk out of the alley, drowning in self-hatred and regret.
There's a sound of scrambling and then Taemin's wrist is clutched tightly, stopping him in his tracks.
“Don't,” Jongin whispers behind him, eyes wide with fear. “I will be like-- I don't want to become like Chanyeol.”
Taemin's heart sinks as he turns to face Jongin and takes a tentative step towards him. When he's met with no resistance, Taemin lunges forward and envelops Jongin in his arms, tightly, securely.
“Chanyeol's owner is gone,” Taemin murmurs softly as Jongin's sobs start up once more, massaging his back soothingly. “I would never abandon you like that.”
“I know,” Jongin mumbles into his neck, then suddenly starts pushing Taemin away by the shoulders. Devastated, Taemin lets him, but Jongin doesn't let go all the way, holding Taemin at an arm's length as he struggles to look into his eyes.
“You and that human - Jonghyun - you're boyfriends with him and you kissed him and I can't - I hate it.”
Taemin shakes his head, but Jongin keeps going.
“I've always hated it, when you liked someone like that, but if-- if you have a boyfriend... I just can't handle it,” Jongin confesses, voice shaking, eyes on the ground.
Suddenly, a thought occurs to Taemin and he stares at Jongin open-mouthed, thinking back on all the times in which he talked about his crushes, only to be met with Jongin's wince, or the time where he had called a stranger on the street good-looking and Jongin refused to talk to him for the rest of the day.
Or how warmly Jongin always looks at him, how his gaze would be filled with what Taemin had always taken to be simple affection but now, maybe, just maybe, another possibility exists in his mind and he's surprised he hadn't thought of it before.
“Jongin,” Taemin says carefully, weighing his next words. “Do you love me?”
Jongin pouts. “Of course I do.”
“Do you love me the way a pet loves its master?” Taemin asks, fighting back a smile.
Jongin's cheeks flush and he wipes angrily at his eyes with his forearm. “...Yes.”
“Only in that way?” Taemin can't hold back his smile now, and Jongin glances at him uncertainly.
“Well... no,” Jongin breathes out finally, skin gaining even more colour and Taemin chuckles.
“How else do you love me?”
There's a pause, a beat of silence between them.
“I... I love you the way a b-boyfriend loves a boyfriend.”
Taemin watches the way Jongin sinks in on himself after he says those words, like he's expecting a rejection, waiting for Taemin to scold him. When Taemin says nothing, he chances up another glance, dilated pupils shaking. Taemin grins, his chest swelling with affection.
“I see,” Taemin says, tugging Jongin back into his embrace, arms gingerly wrapping around his back in a soothing hold. Jongin rests his forehead against Taemin's shoulder, breathing in deeply.
-
When they return back to their apartment, Taemin's a little surprised to find Jonghyun still there, sitting awkwardly on the sofa with both hands in his lap. He tells Jongin to wait for him in the bedroom and approaches Jonghyun, thinking through the words he knows he needs to say.
“I'm sorry, for leaving you alone here so suddenly,” he starts, and Jonghyun gets up to stand with him face to face with an uneasy laugh.
“I didn't steal anything, if you're wondering,” he jokes and Taemin allows himself a small smile.
“Thanks for that. But uh, we need to talk.”
Jonghyun regards him shortly, eyes searching, but then nods slowly. “I thought so.”
-
Sitting cross-legged on his small bed, Jongin rocks back and forth and tries hard not to eavesdrop on the conversation next door. He doesn't want to know.
He thinks it takes a little too long, starts feeling a little bit lonely, but finally there's the sound of a door closing and locking, and soon enough Taemin steps into the bedroom.
“Jongin. Come on, let's clean you up.”
Jongin relents, following Taemin to the bathroom and taking off his clothes without complaint, even at the intimidating steam of the water as it slowly fills the tub.
The silence between them is daunting, and Jongin blames himself for it. He had given in to his emotions too easily and said something he shouldn't have, and now he's left to wonder if Taemin would ever treat him the same way again. Every glance he throws Taemin's way is paid no heed to, and by the time Jongin's in the tub and Taemin is scrubbing at his hair, his mind is filled with regret and a full pout settles on his lips.
As Taemin reaches for the shower-head to rinse out the foam, he finally meets Jongin's eyes. “What's wrong? Are you still mad at me?” he asks, and Jongin thinks there's a lilt to his voice, as if he's teasing him.
“No?” Jongin offers half-heartedly, shutting his eyes tightly to protect them from the assault of the lukewarm water. “Are you?” he tries, chest tightening in anticipation of the response.
Taemin only hums, pouring some shampoo onto his palm. Unsatisfied, Jongin pouts again, ears flopping down in disdain. Taemin laughs, sitting himself against the edge of the bath, smearing the creamy liquid between both of his hands and reaching out to grasp Jongin's shoulders.
It's different from the other times. Taemin's hands are much more gentle than they usually are when he washes Jongin, palms kneading and fingers squeezing at his muscles in a tender massage.
Jongin's not sure what to think of it, so he sits quietly and accepts it, trying his best not to lean into Taemin's hands too much as they move down his back, over his chest. But the more Taemin presses into his skin, the more tingly it feels and when Taemin reaches his waist, Jongin's fighting back a full-on blush.
Taemin stops then, fingers looped in a loose grasp around Jongin's hips, and Jongin thinks his heart may give out under the pressure of anxiety, fear, excitement.
“Jongin.” Taemin's voice is even, and Jongin gulps at the sound. “I want to ask you something.”
Jongin waits, chewing at his lower lip as Taemin's fingers continue pressing into his skin.
“What you said before - did you mean it? That you love me as a boyfriend?”
Jongin thinks about the way Taemin cares for him, puts Jongin's needs before his own. He thinks about the way Taemin holds him every evening in an embrace he dares call loving. He thinks about the way Taemin is like his sun, the way Taemin looks at him with that gleam in his eyes and makes Jongin want to burn. He thinks about how Taemin is the only human to have ever shown him affection.
“I did,” he murmurs weakly, voice strained. “I do.”
Taemin responds by humming again, a thoughtful sound that has Jongin shifting to look up at Taemin over his shoulder. When he does, Taemin meets his gaze and leans down. Jongin's heart stutters into an uneasy rhythm when Taemin's face is close enough for their noses to brush, and then Taemin tilts his head and plants a soft kiss on his lips, short but lingering, promising.
Jongin doesn't really know how it happens, but one moment he's out of the tub being towel-dried by a grinning Taemin and the next he's being dragged into his master's bedroom, still fully nude. He gapes when Taemin motions for him to get on his bed.
“But-- I'm not allowed,” he chokes out, and Taemin grins wider, tugging him by the wrist.
“You are today.”
Jongin relents, shyly, climbing atop of the covers and blushing as the heavy scent of Taemin fills his senses. Taemin's lips find his again and the mattress feels soft as Jongin falls back against it, Taemin following swiftly along.
Jongin gasps when Taemin straddles him, the material of his jeans rubbing against his crotch. Taemin's hands are at his shoulders again, kneading, and it feels good, so good, but Jongin can't get himself to accept the situation just yet.
“Wait,” he mumbles, breaking the kiss and leaning his face to the side. “What- what about Jonghyun.”
“What about him?” Taemin asks, thumbs tracing along the lines of Jongin's collarbones.
“He's your boyfriend,” Jongin says, more bitterly than he intended, lips forming a pout almost involuntarily.
Taemin never stops smiling as he shakes his head. “Not any more. I broke up with him.”
Jongin raises himself up on his elbows, staring at Taemin carefully. “You did?”
“I did,” Taemin confirms, pushing Jongin back down. “Do you know what this means?”
Taemin kisses Jongin before he can reply, once, twice, then plants another kiss at the corner of Jongin's mouth and another at his cheek, his jaw, his neck.
Jongin shudders as Taemin's hands move lower down his body, brushing his sides in a teasing, barely-there touch before coming back up to palm at his chest. Taemin's lips are still at his neck and Jongin thinks he can feel the slightest graze of teeth on his skin.
“W-what,” he asks, back arching as Taemin's fingers wrap around one of his nipples, giving it an experimental squeeze.
Then without warning Taemin rocks his hips against Jongin's and oh.
The pleasure that spurts through Jongin's veins has him scrambling for purchase against the bedsheets, and the tiny prick of pain from the material of Taemin's jeans somehow only adds to it, has him fighting back the urge to move his hips in search of more friction.
“Taemin,” Jongin gasps out and Taemin pulls away from his neck to look at him. Jongin doesn't know what to say, feels too embarrassed to look into Taemin's eyes, so he just whines.
Taemin sits up and smirks when Jongin whines again at the added pressure on his hardening cock. He slips out of his shirt and throws it aside before shifting his position backwards and settling between Jongin's thighs.
“I don't have a boyfriend any more, Jongin. But you know I want to have one, don't you?” Taemin leans back down and mouths at Jongin's nipple, pressing his tongue against it before giving it a light suck. Jongin shivers, grasping at the bedsheets in an attempt at self-control.
“I know,” Jongin replies, voice shaky as he watches Taemin's mouth move lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses against his tummy. Then Taemin pulls away and brushes his cheek against Jongin's inner thigh and Jongin flushes. “Taemin,” he whines.
Taemin's hand wraps around the base of his cock, and he gives it a single stroke. It's enough to have Jongin gasp and arch off the bed again, and Taemin smirks as Jongin calls out his name in another stutter. He rewards him with a kiss to the head of his cock, teasing for a moment longer before he lets his lips part and slides his mouth down on Jongin as far as he can.
Jongin moans as the heat of Taemin's mouth envelops him, and before he can think it through his hand is already reaching to fist at Taemin's hair. Taemin groans in surprise and the vibration of the sound travels through his mouth, making Jongin buck up.
Taemin coughs when Jongin's cock brushes against the back of his throat, but doesn't release him yet, bobbing his head up and down and hollowing his cheeks for better suction. It barely takes any time before Jongin is tugging back at his hair.
“No, no-- I--”
Taemin takes the hint, sliding his mouth off Jongin with a pop and firmly holding him at the base. “Not yet.”
He holds Jongin in place until his breath evens out, then reaches for the night stand by his bed, opening a drawer.
Jongin watches as Taemin takes out a bottle and a few shiny packets and throws the items on the bed by his side. He glances at the bottle, eyebrows furrowing.
“It's brand new,” he comments off-handedly as Taemin settles back between his legs.
Taemin takes the bottle and pops open the cap. “Well, I still had a boyfriend this morning,” he responds and Jongin can tell he's stopping a smirk from coming on.
“So that's where you went earlier,” Jongin huffs and Taemin giggles at the pout that makes its way back onto his face.
As he watches Taemin pour the liquid into his hand and slick his fingers with it, Jongin finds himself embarrassed again and blushes when Taemin pushes at his thigh, spreading his legs apart further.
Taemin presses his fingers against Jongin's entrance, massaging the ring of muscle in circular movements. He catches Jongin's gaze before sliding a finger in, watching his reaction.
Jongin sighs at the unfamiliar stretch, but relaxes almost immediately upon feeling no pain. Taemin is careful all the same as he slides a second finger into him and Jongin cringes at the first budding ache.
Taemin's free hand suddenly wraps around his cock again and Jongin gasps, pushing his hips up into Taemin's languid strokes. He can feel Taemin's fingers stretching him from the inside, working him open until the pain fades out into a dull feeling of pleasure.
Just as Taemin pushes in a third finger and the pain momentarily comes back, Taemin presses against a spot inside of him that has Jongin trembling.
“Oh, please,” he breathes, hands grasping at the bedsheets and hips thrashing in a desperate attempt to get more of that delicious feeling. “Taemin.”
Taemin lets go of Jongin's cock to hold him down by the waist, pressing him into the mattress until he stills. Jongin chokes out a sob, but then Taemin curls his fingers again and Jongin cries out. This time Taemin doesn't stop, pushing into that one spot inside of him relentlessly over and over until Jongin's seeing stars.
His body slumps when Taemin finally pulls his fingers out, and he barely registers through blurry, tear-stained vision as Taemin moves to take off his own jeans and briefs and reaches for the lube.
When Taemin returns to his previous position, Jongin hooks his ankles around his waist and brings him closer impatiently. Taemin arches an eyebrow at him, but Jongin only manages a whine.
Taemin presses the tip of his cock against Jongin's hole, glancing up at him, and when Jongin gives him a quick nod, Taemin pushes into him in one fluid motion.
Jongin's voice is ripped out of his throat in a pained groan, and Taemin hurriedly leans in to kiss him tenderly, whisper a reassurance into his lips. Jongin holds onto it, wrapping his arms around Taemin's neck and swaying his hips to urge him on.
Taemin pulls out and thrusts back in, setting a slow, leisurely pace, just enough to get Jongin used to the stretch, and it isn't until he feels Jongin relax beneath him that he allows himself to speed up, thrust in a little deeper, snap his hips a little harder.
Jongin's breaths come out in short gasps, his hands clawing unconsciously at Taemin's back with every thrust in. Taemin is groaning into his neck and his cock fills Jongin up oh so well, but Jongin can feel how close Taemin is to brushing that spot inside him and he whines at the building frustration, legs wrapping around Taemin's waist and urging him further in.
Taemin suddenly stops thrusting and sits up, and Jongin's confused for all but 0.5 seconds during which Taemin grabs him by the thigh, pushes his leg up so his knee is pressed into his chest, and starts canting into him again.
The change in the angle has Jongin feeling all sorts of new things and he squirms, running a hand through his hair and spreading his legs just a little bit more to give Taemin better access.
Just as he does, Taemin gives him a particularly hard thrust and Jongin gasps at the burst of pleasure coursing through his body from that one sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Yes - please,” he manages, hips moving in attempt to fuck back against Taemin.
Taemin moans and fucks into him harder, hips snapping forward in quick succession. Jongin keens and pushes back and writhes until tears fill his eyes anew.
“Fuck, Jongin - I'm close. Touch yourself,” Taemin orders suddenly, and Jongin scrambles to obey, wrapping a fist around his neglected cock and stroking himself into a rhythm that matches Taemin's thrusts.
Taemin's movements grow erratic and Jongin feels heat coil in his stomach. He gives himself a final few strokes, bucking into his own hand as he comes in spurts, body shuddering. A few more uneven thrusts and he feels Taemin's warm come inside of him even through the thin layer of latex.
Taemin pulls out and takes the condom off, tying it into a knot before throwing it off the bed and laying back next to Jongin.
For a while neither of them speak as they come down from their high, the sound of their rapid breathing the only thing that fills the room. Eventually Taemin sits up just enough to sneak under the bedsheets and lays on his side, facing Jongin. Jongin casts him a sideways glance.
“Don't look at me too happily, will you,” Taemin chuckles and it's enough to get Jongin to shift underneath the covers and shuffle closer until their bodies are pressing together. Taemin snuggles into the crook of Jongin's neck and Jongin wraps an arm around him firmly.
Taemin doesn't know how much time passes, but his eyelids grow heavy and his body is pleasantly warm against Jongin's, and he's this close to falling asleep before Jongin's murmur brings him back.
“If you want a boyfriend, why can't it be me.”
And it's still full of bitterness and Taemin can practically feel the pout on Jongin's lips and he can't help but laugh, nuzzling into Jongin's shoulder.
“Yes, okay. It can be you.”
He thinks Jongin grumbles something else under his breath but he doesn't catch it. But Jongin remains close to him, tucking his chin against the top of Taemin's head, his arm still possessively wrapped around Taemin's back, and that's enough to lull Taemin into sleep once again.
-
When Jongin wakes up, he's alone in the bed and fear pounds at his chest before he can even open his eyes properly. He sits up, rubbing at his eyes and glancing around the room, and when he doesn't spot Taemin anywhere, a whine begins to tremble at the back of his throat.
“Jongin?”
Jongin's attention snaps towards the door and a few seconds later Taemin walks in, dressed in a loose grey shirt and boxers, a towel around his neck and blond hair dripping with water.
A sigh of relief escapes Jongin, and he watches as Taemin makes his way to sit on the edge of the bed. Taemin's eyebrows are knitted in worry and his gaze is soft when he looks at Jongin.
“How are you feeling?”
Jongin smiles appreciatively. “I'm fine.”
Taemin smiles back. “Good.”
But there is a dull ache at his back and Jongin thinks it might hurt more if he tries to get up. And he's not all that thrilled at the prospect of another bath.
“I'm still tired,” he announces, reaching out to shyly grasp Taemin by the wrist. “Stay?”
Taemin thinks about it, considers his own freshly-cleaned self and Jongin's just-woken-up state, but Jongin's puppy eyes always held a soft spot in his heart, so he throws the towel back and allows himself to be pulled along to lay by Jongin's side.
Jongin holds him close, breathing in the scent of Taemin's bodywash and the underlying, softer scent of his skin.
“Taemin,” Jongin coos in a way which Taemin knows means he wants something. He hums in response. “You - yesterday, you said I can be your boyfriend. Does that mean I am?”
Taemin laughs and pulls away to look into Jongin's eyes. “Oh god, Jongin.”
“What,” Jongin grumbles, using the puppy eyes technique again.
Taemin rolls his eyes. “Well, do you want to be?”
Jongin's gaze flickers anywhere but at Taemin and his cheeks flush. “Yes.”
“Then yes, you are. You're my boyfriend. Okay?”
Jongin nods in satisfaction, pulling Taemin back in and cradling him in a full-body hug. Taemin grins at his eagerness but accepts the gesture willingly, sighing as he relaxes against Jongin's hold. “Great. Now I'll probably need another shower.”
“Since we're boyfriends, we can do it together.”
Taemin laughs again and wonders briefly why it had taken him so long to realise Jongin's feelings for him, his own feelings for Jongin, how perfect they could be.
“You're right,” he relents, supposing that as long as they could be together like this, it didn't really matter.
To Taemin, Jongin is, after all, like the moon - a constant presence even at his darkest hours, and always there to bring some much-needed brightness to his life.
a/n: welp there it is, omgod i've never written taekai before but i hope i did them justice!! orz
Artists: EXO, SHINee
Pairings: Taemin/Jongin, mild!Jonghyun/Taemin
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9.439
Warnings: Some angst, hints of animal abuse
Prompt: #330 - Puppyboy!Jongin and his bff human!Taemin. + Jongin has pretty much imprinted on Taemin but Taemin isn't aware yet and Jongin doesn't wanna rock the boat. + Some angst if Tae has crushes/girlfriends/boyfriends but happy ending with besotted, quietly needy bottom!Jongin, pls
Notes: i took some liberty with the prompt; i think it may have a teeny bit more angst than was asked for, but alas i hope it is adequate!
To Jongin, Taemin is like the sun.
In the mornings, Jongin sits back and watches Taemin run around their flat in his hurry to get ready for work, because Taemin always wakes up ten minutes later than he sets his alarm clock for. Sometimes it's because of fatigue, but usually it's because Jongin takes advantage of the only time he's allowed on Taemin's bed and doesn't let him go until he gets enough cuddle time to last him for the day spent without Taemin.
Even like this, Taemin still reaches out a hand to ruffle Jongin's hair every time he walks past, still remembers to smile for Jongin to let him know he's not mad even if he'll get another scolding today once he arrives at work.
And it's those smiles that have Jongin sitting at the edge of his seat, eagerly awaiting each and every one with an unrelenting hunger. Because the gentle curve of Taemin's lips and the way his eyes shine when he looks at Jongin are what brings all the light to Jongin's life. He wants to make sure he has memorised Taemin's smiling face so he can think of it every time he feels lonely once Taemin leaves.
“Alright, I'll be going now,” Taemin says, all dressed and with his bag slung over his shoulder. He approaches Jongin and puts his hand on Jongin's head, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his forehead. “Be good when I'm gone, okay?”
And though Taemin lingers only for a moment longer, Jongin wants to burn to ashes in the light of those gleaming eyes.
-
When Taemin returns that day at four thirty-four in the afternoon, Jongin's eager greeting is what puts a smile back on his face even as his body sags from tiredness.
Despite the ache in his muscles after a day of lifting boxes and carrying loads, Taemin sets his bag down and immediately turns back to the door. “Let's go.”
“Are you sure?” Jongin asks like he always would and Taemin only smiles again.
“Of course.”
Jongin returns the smile and follows after Taemin. He knows the walk will be brief, but after spending the day cooped up inside, he's more than grateful Taemin walks him at all.
“How was your work?” Jongin asks as they make their way down the street, enjoying the stretch in his legs.
“Same old, same old. Ahjussi Minho yelled at me again when I came late. He thinks he's the boss or something,” Taemin huffs and shakes his head.
“Minho is not an ahjussi,” Jongin comments with a grin and Taemin laughs.
“That's what he likes to think.”
Taemin doesn't have that many friends (something Jongin is secretly thankful for) and Jongin can tell who he likes depending on how he talks about them. He's met Taemin's co-worker Choi Minho before, he had seen that they get along well - and he knows that's precisely the reason why Taemin speaks of Minho in that way.
“If Minho is an ahjussi to you, what am I? Hoobae?” Jongin jokes and Taemin gives him a sideways glance.
Then there's a hand scratching him behind the ear just right and Jongin leans in involuntarily.
“No, you're just Jongin. My Jongin.”
Taemin never speaks ill of Jongin, even lightly, and Jongin isn't sure whether that's supposed to be good or bad, but nevertheless he always feels a little bit special when an opportunity is there and Taemin refuses to take it.
“Your Jongin,” he agrees with a hum and Taemin smiles. Jongin's insides coil with warmth at the sight and he finds himself staring at Taemin long after he had returned his gaze straight ahead.
-
One Saturday Taemin decides they should spend the day out of the flat, and Jongin's more than thrilled to hear it.
“I heard a new pojangmacha has opened near the park we always go to. They sell hotteok. You like hotteok, don't you?”
And so they go.
Taemin sets a slow pace in the direction of the park, and while a part of Jongin itches to sprint ahead and release all his pent up energy from the week he's spent mostly sitting at home, he tags along as close as he can just to listen to Taemin's usual ramblings.
“When will they rebuild this shop? Honestly, it's falling apart.”
“Good morning, ahjumma. Yes, I will. You have a nice day, too.”
“Ah, why is there always such a crowd here? Keep close, Jongin.”
Taemin often likes to run commentary about the scenery they pass, even if it's exactly the same every day, and Jongin keeps quiet because he's long ran out of things to respond with. Taemin's voice is pleasant to listen to, so it doesn't matter.
When they make it to the park, Taemin gives Jongin ten minutes to do some running around and catching up with Chanyeol, the local labrador mix who has a collar around his neck yet his owner is never to be seen. Chanyeol spends his entire days at the park in a faithful wait, and sometimes Jongin feels bad for him, doesn't understand how Chanyeol can survive without cuddling up to a human on a nice warm couch or without a hand there to scratch him behind the ears.
But Chanyeol never complains so Jongin doesn't question him.
“Hey! You're here early!” Chanyeol comments when Jongin sits by his side underneath the shade of one of the trees.
“Just passing by, we're going to one of those market places.”
“Oh, I love these! If you look at them nicely, they'll give you treats for free!” Chanyeol says with excitement lighting up his eyes, his black ears perking up atop his head.
Jongin wouldn't know - he's never had to beg for food. He nods anyway.
“Taemin said he'll buy me hotteok. I've not had them since last season,” Jongin reminisces, his mouth watering at the thought.
Chanyeol's shoulders sag a little but his smile still remains. “Taemin is a good human, isn't he?”
Jongin doesn't even have to think about the answer; he nods eagerly, lips involuntarily stretching into a smile. “Of course! I lo-- I really like him,” Jongin stutters, heat suddenly seeping into his skin and he doesn't know why.
But Chanyeol just keeps smiling. “You're lucky to have him. Take care of him, okay?”
Jongin's expression mirrors Chanyeol's, and he reaches out a hand to pat his friend on the shoulder. “Your master will come back someday.”
Chanyeol's eyes fall to the ground, but he nods solemnly.
Jongin opens his mouth to say something else, but the call of his name from afar catches him off guard. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees Taemin standing by the park entrance and waving towards him, so he hurriedly rises to his feet. “Gotta go - see you later!”
Jongin sprints over to Taemin's side, latching onto his arm. Taemin laughs.
“What's with you, suddenly.”
“I missed you,” Jongin mumbles, pressing his mouth into Taemin's shoulder and Taemin only laughs again.
“Okay, okay, I'll make it up to you.”
The smell of warm food fills Jongin's nose long before they reach the pojangmacha and by the time they're actually there he's practically crying for Taemin to hurry up and buy him something.
It takes them five more excruciating minutes to find the stand Taemin was looking for, but the pretty bronzed colour of the hotteok laid out on the griddle easily puts Jongin in a forgiving mood.
“We'll have four, please,” Taemin says to the young man behind the griddle, who smiles with a nod and starts preparing the order. Jongin thinks he's glancing at Taemin a bit too often for comfort, but he keeps the thought to himself. Just a moment longer and they'll be gone.
“Aren't you a bit too young to be working here?”
Jongin is surprised when Taemin is the one to start the small talk. Even if Taemin likes to run commentary, he had always enjoyed running it to Jongin specifically. He hardly ever chatted up strangers, and usually only offered them a smile if they tried to speak to him. Then Jongin notices Taemin's got that spark in his eyes and his heart skips a beat.
That look can only mean one thing.
The street vendor's smile turns playful as he presses the last of their four hotteok against the flat steel. “My father is the real owner of this. I'm just filling him in for today.”
Taemin nods and reaches out his arms to take the bag of pancakes. When Jongin sees Taemin's fingers brush against the skin of the stranger, the hair on the back of his neck rises.
“Kim Jonghyun,” the vendor offers, giving Taemin an obvious one-over.
“Lee Taemin.”
Jonghyun grins this time, a flash of white teeth, and Jongin hates how Taemin easily returns the gesture.
“Nice to meet you, Lee Taemin. Say, can I get your number? Maybe we could go out together some time.”
Jongin keeps his mouth pressed into a thin line and he has to physically fight back the growl that threatens to spill from his throat when Taemin takes out his phone and recites his number to the vendor.
Thankfully, the line of people waiting behind Taemin gets too long to be ignored and they're forced to hurry along.
“I'll see you later, Lee Taemin.”
No. Don't say his name like that.
“Later, Kim Jonghyun.”
Jongin's jaw starts to hurt from how tightly he's keeping it shut. When they finally finally finally leave the stand, Taemin finally finally finally turns to look at him.
He hands Jongin a pancake. “Eat up, Jongin! They're really good, you know.”
Taemin doesn't notice how tense Jongin's body is, how he grips the pancake hard enough to break it into two, how his ears deflate and tail sags behind him. Taemin doesn't notice and a little something deep inside Jongin's chest cracks.
-
It's Tuesday, four thrity-seven in the afternoon.
Why isn't Taemin home?
He's three minutes late. Sometimes there are delays on the trains, but Jongin worries anyway.
With uneasy steps, he paces around the living room, glancing to the window each time he passes it by. Each time he's a little more disappointed that he can't spot the tall uniform-clad figure, the mop of blond hair gleaming in the street light.
Another ten minutes pass and Jongin's stomach tightens in discomfort.
Why isn't Taemin home? Where is he? What has happened to him?
Worst of all, what is Jongin supposed to do?
His heart races as his mind offers up a flurry of scenarios. What if Taemin was involved in an accident at work? What if there was an accident on his way back? What if someone attacked Taemin? What if Taemin was hurt and alone and Jongin wasn't by his side, stuck in their flat in utter helplessness?
Jongin can't do this.
Panicked eyes scan the apartment as anxiety throws Jongin's body into a tremor.
-
Taemin slides the door open gently, stepping in and and hurriedly closing it behind him.
“Jongin?” he calls out into the empty space, settling his bag down on the floor. “Hey, I know I'm late but-- Jongin?”
Taemin stops in his tracks as he finally notices the eerie silence of the apartment. It takes him another moment of blinking into the darkness to realise all the lights are off.
Taemin gulps heavily and feels his heart pounding as he blindly searches the wall for the light switch.
“Jongin? Are you there? Are you okay? Please answer me if-- Jongin!”
When he finally finds the switch and the light floods the living room before him, Taemin can only stare with an open mouth.
The floor is a mess. There's bits of foam and cotton and rubber and who knows what else scattered all around. Pieces of the sofa are scratched off. One of the curtains has been dragged down and whatever has been once seated upon the table has been knocked down, including Taemin's old glass of coke which now stains the oakwood surface.
Jongin is tucked into the corner of the room, hugging his knees with the blanket from his bed draped over his form and squeezed tightly between his fists. He winces at Taemin's yell and Taemin immediately feels bad, but not bad enough to relent.
“Jongin! What have you done?” Taemin says in exasperation as he enters the room.
But Jongin continues to ignore him, eyes staring at his blanket with shaking pupils.
Taemin approaches him, trying his best not to appear threatening but unable to help the deep frown on his face. “Jongin. Answer me: what have you done? Why did you do this?”
Jongin finally yields, daring a quick glance up at Taemin before looking back down. “I-I'm sorry! You didn't come home and I-- I was scared and I couldn't-- I didn't know what happened-- You didn't come home!” Jongin blurts out with a quivering lip before hiding his face between his knees.
Taemin sighs, knowing there's no way he could be angry at Jongin for long.
He shuffles closer and places his hands on Jongin's shoulders. It's cue enough for Jongin to immediately throw himself into Taemin's arms, clinging onto his back so tightly Taemin struggles to breathe for a moment.
“Okay, it's okay. I'm home now,” Taemin says quietly, repeating the words over and over while gently massaging Jongin's back until Jongin slowly relaxes in his hold.
When Jongin finally pulls back enough to look at Taemin, his eyes are gleaming more than usual, but his face is dry of any tears. Taemin is not surprised - it seemed no matter how distressed Jongin could get, no actual tears would ever flow from his eyes. In some way, Taemin's thankful for that. He doesn't think he could handle seeing Jongin cry.
“You're angry?” Jongin asks, doubt creasing his eyebrows.
“No,” Taemin sighs. “It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you like this.”
Taemin rises to his feet, holding onto Jongin's hands to help him up. “I suppose I better clean this up.”
“I can help,” Jongin offers and Taemin hesitates.
“Alright,” he agrees eventually, bending down to pick up the abandoned blanket from the floor. “Here, go put this away.”
Jongin takes the blanket and his expression lights up at the prospect of being useful. He runs off to the bedroom and Taemin takes another look around the damaged living room before rolling up his sleeves and making his way over to the kitchen to find some bin bags and a strong cleaning product for that spilled coke. At least that'll teach him to clean things up right away, he supposes.
-
On Thursday evening, they're curled up on the sofa (the spot right by Taemin's head is ripped open and a bit of foam rubs against his face every time he moves, but he's already getting used to it) with Jongin resting his head on Taemin's shoulder and their hands clasped together in Taemin's lap.
Some mindless show is playing on the television in front of them and Jongin's not paying it any attention, much more focused on the way Taemin's chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, the strong, resounding heartbeat he can hear reverberating through Taemin's ribcage.
And it's moments like these, quiet moments where Jongin is just enjoying Taemin's presence, that often take him back to a time before he met Taemin, a time where the colours were duller and the sounds muted and the only thing that ever mattered was the gleam of danger.
Jongin doesn't want to remember, but his body does it for him without an ounce of control.
Jongin remembers the way he'd watch the shadows move from the darkness, the way he'd strain his ears for any sounds that could warn him of the danger before it arrived. He remembers the way his body instinctively curved inwards as his only way of self-defence.
A shudder runs down his spine and he subconsciously snuggles closer to Taemin, pressing their bodies together and nuzzling into Taemin's neck. Taemin hums and Jongin can feel the sound travelling through the skin on his throat.
“What's up?”
Jongin takes his time in replying, unsure of whether to bring up the topic, but eventually decides it's best to answer. “I remembered them.”
“Who?”
Jongin gulps. “The bad humans.”
“Oh.” Taemin doesn't say anything in response, but his hands tighten around Jongin's and that is enough.
Taemin's learned not to ask, Jongin thinks, because Jongin always refused to say any more on the subject other than those three words. He was once afraid that this answer would eventually stop satisfying Taemin, that he'd be forced to say more or be left on his own again, but that never happened.
It took Jongin a long time to learn he didn't have to be afraid of Taemin.
Silence overtakes them once more, a comfortable sort of quiet that causes Jongin's eyelids to grow heavy. Just as he's about to give in to the call of sleep, Taemin's voice brings him back to attention.
“Hey, Jongin. There's something I need to tell you.”
Taemin's tone is casual but the words immediately cause Jongin to worry. He waits for a while and when Taemin remains silent, he prompts: “What is it?”
“Well... You remember Jonghyun, right? You know, the vendor with the hotteok?”
Jongin tenses as images of the man's face flash through his memory. His heart-rate picks up.
“Jongin? Yes?”
“...Yes.”
“Well, I've been talking to him. Actually, I was meeting him for coffee after work on Tuesday, that's why I came home late.”
Jongin leans away from Taemin, his mouth turning uncomfortably dry.
“And well, he kind of asked me out? So I guess we're dating now.”
Jongin doesn't know what to do, or how to react. He just stares at Taemin blankly, trying to drown out the sound of his own pounding heart in favour of hearing Taemin as he continues to speak, eyes glued to the television.
“Anyway, that's not the point - you see, he wants to come over Saturday, said that's the only time he can make it this week. So I told him it's fine. You don't mind, right?”
He does.
He does.
Saturdays are their days, days they spend together and do things and go to places and it's just the two of them and Jongin does not want anyone intruding on the only time of the week he can so freely enjoy his time with Taemin.
Taemin finally turns to look at him, his expression as cheerful as usual, as if nothing's amiss.
That's when it hits Jongin - Taemin is the one who doesn't mind.
Taemin is fine with this. Taemin is fine with giving up their time in favour of meeting this stranger - this Jonghyun - and he doesn't seem to notice that Jongin is anything but.
“I don't mind,” Jongin recites, slowly removing his hands from Taemin's to instead tuck them in at his sides.
Taemin smiles. “Thanks, Jongin. I'll make it up to you next week.”
As he sits there staring blankly at the TV screen, Jongin feels another part of him crack somewhere beneath his skin.
-
Jongin has spent the entire day curled up in his bed and refused to leave it despite numerous attempts from Taemin to woo him out. He didn't agree to go on a walk, leaving Taemin to go on a morning shopping trip by himself. Even the promise of Korean beef for lunch hadn't budged him, and he knows Taemin's worried, he knows, but he just can't bring himself to get up.
It's a little past five in the afternoon now and Kim Jonghyun's due to arrive at any moment. Jongin senses Taemin's nervousness all the way from the living room and it only serves to make him more upset. Why is Taemin anticipating this so much?
The doorbell rings five minutes later and Jongin doesn't want to hear any of their conversation. For once he regrets how well-developed his senses are because every word rings as clear in his ears as if they were stood right next to him.
“Hey, Jonghyun.”
“Good afternoon! How are you doing?”
“Fine, come in. I've got that movie you asked for.”
“Great! I brought the snacks. Sorry it's nothing fancy.”
“Not at all, I love yangparing!”
Jongin's plan is to sit it all out in hiding and erase it out of his memory once it's over. He hears Taemin and Jonghyun move about the living room and have a light conversation, and Jongin just wants the blanket he's covered with to swallow him up and close him off from the rest of the world.
But then he hears footsteps nearing the bedroom and for a moment he fears it's the stranger.
“Jongin?” Taemin peeks in and Jongin throws him a single look before hiding his face under the blanket. “Jongin, come on. Why don't you come out and meet Jonghyun? He's nice, you know.”
“No.” Jongin's voice comes out muffled from underneath the blanket but he refuses to move it.
“You can watch the movie with us, if you like,” Taemin tries again.
“Don't want to.”
Jongin hears a sigh of defeat and then Taemin walks away and Jongin's filled with regret for a short while, but the sound of Jonghyun's voice from afar only intensifies his budding anger and he knows if he had accepted the offer, nothing good would have come out of it.
So Jongin lays there in his bed and wallows in loneliness because he doesn't know what else to do.
Taemin's never had an actual boyfriend before, even if he has had crushes in the past (Jongin's still bitter about that guy named Jinki because Taemin wouldn't stop talking about him for months, until he finally found out Jinki had a girlfriend and his feelings quickly dissipated, blessed be). Whenever Taemin's friends came over, Jongin would sit quietly and observe them until he got used to them enough to feel comfortable with sharing his space with them, but he doesn't think that method would work with Jonghyun because Jonghyun is more than a friend. Even if Jongin thinks his bond with Taemin is much deeper than Jonghyun's, he'd feel as if he was intruding. Unwelcome. The third wheel.
Time passes slowly for Jongin. He can hear the echoes of Taemin and Jonghyun talking occasionally, though he can't pick anything out with the sound of the movie deafening their conversation. The dull sound coupled with Jongin having gone through the entire day feeling anxious makes him feel tired, and he closes his eyes.
There's a sound of screaming not too far off. The shadows move faster during those times, and Jongin's eyes struggle to keep up.
He senses someone approaching him before he sees them, and his body reacts on its own, his arms wrapping around his tummy and his knees bent at his chest. Jongin shakes in anticipation, eyes shut tightly but the image of someone raising their hand is still clear in his mind.
Jongin feels hopeless.
The hand sharply moves down towards him and he tenses.
Jongin jolts awake with a gasp. Sweat trickles down his forehead and he's panting as if he had just ran a marathon. He kicks the blanket off and quickly sits up, looking around wildly, eyes landing on Taemin's empty bed.
It's dark outside; why isn't Taemin in bed? Where has he gone?
But then reality slowly sinks in and Jongin's reminded of all that had happened, and while the thought of Taemin with Jonghyun isn't all that welcoming, he much prefers it in face of his worries.
Slowly, he sinks back down onto his covers and lies there for a while, willing himself to calm down. That's when he realises the flat is strangely quiet. No sounds of the movie reach his ears, nor of any conversation.
Maybe more time had passed than he anticipated? Maybe it's late in the night now and Jonghyun's gone? Maybe Taemin has fallen asleep on the couch? Or maybe Taemin's sitting there by himself, and what if he's lonely?
So Jongin slowly slides his stiff body off the bed, his joints aching at the lack of use. He gives himself a stretch enough that he can stand on his feet steadily, and on his tip-toes he starts making his way out of the bedroom and towards the living room.
The first thing Jongin sees is Taemin's messy blond hair sticking out from above the sofa, and he feels a little relieved at the thought that Jonghyun is really gone.
He steps quietly forward, intent on giving Taemin a little surprise by sneaking up on him from behind, but then his eyes catch a movement on Taemin's right and he freezes.
Jonghyun's still here.
Not only is Jonghyun here, but his head is rested on Taemin's shoulder, and Jongin seethes because that's his spot.
But before Jongin can finally yield to his urge to sink his claws into Jonghyun's skin, Jonghyun does something that breaks Jongin's spirit.
“Taemin?” Jonghyun asks in a quiet voice, and when Taemin turns to look at him, Jonghyun leans in to press their lips together.
But the worst part is that Taemin doesn't move away.
Anger dissipates out of Jongin at the speed of light, replaced instead by the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.
And it's Taemin.
Taemin makes him feel this way and Jongin can't handle it. Something inside of his chest bursts into a million pieces.
The sound that escapes him is a mix between a whine and a sob, and immediately Taemin's and Jonghyun's eyes are on him, and he can't take it, he can't, he turns away.
“Jongin!”
But Jongin is already out the door and he's not planning on stopping, not until that wretched feeling stops swallowing him up with every beat of his pounding heart.
-
Truth be told, Taemin had been reluctant about their meeting from the beginning.
Because while Jonghyun was nice, and they certainly shared a similar passion for music, Taemin didn't feel like he could build a bond with him. The initial click he thought he sensed on their first meeting was more of a physical attraction, he realises as their Tuesday evening comes to an end, but he still decides to give Jonghyun a chance. It had been a long time since Taemin had last been interested in anyone, and Jonghyun was pleasant company, so if nothing else Taemin hoped they could at least become friends.
By the time Jonghyun arrives at his flat on Saturday, Taemin's not in the best of moods, even though he tries to play it off as a small headache. Jongin had been acting strange all day and refused to leave his bed and try as he might, Taemin can't concentrate on the movie. His mind keeps wandering back to Jongin and he taps his fingers against his knee in worry.
Jonghyun's hand comes to catch his and when Taemin looks at him, Jonghyun's smiling curiously.
“You're ignoring me, and I can't tell if you're nervous because of me or because of something else.”
Taemin tries to laugh it off, and he can see Jonghyun doesn't buy it, but he doesn't put up a fight about it either and Taemin is grateful for that.
They spend most of the evening in silence and an hour and half later Taemin's just wishing for the movie to end already so he can go check up on Jongin. He hadn't left his room once since Jonghyun's arrival and Taemin wants to be sure he's alright. Give him a nice long hug for having neglected him in Jonghyun's favour, promise him to never give up their Saturdays again and keep his word because honestly this evening wasn't all that great.
When the credits roll, Taemin starts thinking of how to kick Jonghyun out in a nice way, a maybe-we-can-be-pals way, and it takes him a while to actually notice Jonghyun's head is rested on his shoulder.
He berates himself in his mind for not noticing sooner and promises to start paying more attention because he doesn't want to send Jonghyun the wrong signals.
Just as he's about to start on his kick-Jonghyun-out mission, Jonghyun calls his name and Taemin looks down at him, wondering if Jonghyun would volunteer to leave without Taemin having to explicitly tell him to.
Instead, Jonghyun does the very opposite and leans in to kiss Taemin.
At first, Taemin's frozen with mild shock, but he regains his composure and makes sure to keep his lips tightly shut and unmoving. Jonghyun gets the hint pretty quickly, pulling away and opening his mouth to say what Taemin assumes from the look on his face is an apology.
But before he can breathe a word, there's a sound of a high-pitched sob from somewhere behind them and Taemin's head snaps in its direction.
Dread runs cold through his veins when he catches a glimpse of Jongin's face as he's turning away.
“Jongin!” Taemin yells, jumping to his feet, but his only response is a slam of the front door. “Shit.”
Taemin glances at Jonghyun, who had risen to his feet too, and is now looking between the door and Taemin in confusion.
“Sorry,” Taemin says, running a hand through his hair as he starts making his way towards the door, faster with every step he takes. “Just-- I have to-- I'll--”
“Wait, you're just gonna leave?”
But Taemin's mind is too busy swirling with worry for him to care about leaving a stranger alone in his apartment. By the time he's out of the building, he's racing across the street towards the park, his chest heaving with an intangible sort of pain, one that swells in his heart and sends shivers of fear through his entire body.
Jongin had never run from him before - he'd never even left the apartment without Taemin, all the more reason for him to worry over Jongin's well-being. What if Jongin got lost? What if he ran out onto the road, or encountered a dog-catcher? What if someone was going to hurt him?
Taemin sprints past the entrance to the park and looks around wildly, trying to make out any sort of recognisable shape in the darkness. The few street lamps scattered around the park offer some help, but Taemin spots no hint of movement.
So he runs through the entire park, checking under benches, near Jongin's favourite spots to lay in during summer, the tree under which he'd always sit with Chanyeol, the bushes behind which Jongin would always hide whenever that one particularly mean dog showed up in the park.
But there is no trace of Jongin anywhere and by the time Taemin had made a full circle through the park, he's close to giving up.
Then suddenly his mind conjures up an image of one more alternative. One more possible place where Jongin could be hiding, and Taemin tries his best to slow his pounding heart down as he exits the park and starts the ten or so minute walk towards that place.
His efforts are in vain and he ends up sprinting once more, muscles aching dully and stomach cramping from a mix of exertion and anxiety.
Carefully, Taemin enters an empty street lined with old-fashioned buildings on either side. Most of the street lights here are broken or barely at work, flashing dim specks of light here and there. Taemin's footsteps resound against the walls in the dull silence, and though the atmosphere is anything but welcoming the deeper he walks in, he doesn't stop until he reaches a small, barely visible alleyway almost at the end of the street.
The alleyway is pitch black, and no sound comes from it. Taemin takes a step in anyway.
“Jongin?” he calls out, his voice like a booming clap of thunder against the dreary silence.
It had been here that Taemin first found Jongin, bundled up in a ragged blanket and shivering all over from the merciless pounding of the rain. Taemin had wandered into the street by accident, wrongly following the directions of the GPS on his phone as he tried to locate his friend's new apartment. He almost walked right past Jongin's hiding place: the only thing that gave away his presence was the sniffling of his nose.
When he had first spotted the curled up pup, Taemin knew he couldn't live with himself if he had just left it there. All it took was a gentle voice and a pat on the head for Jongin to jump into his arms, and the rest was history.
But now, as Taemin steps more and more into the darkness of the alley, he can't help but be filled with doubt. It's too tranquil, too still for someone to be hiding there, surely even Jongin couldn't keep this quiet--
The silence is broken by a barely audible whine.
With new-found hope, Taemin walks forward until he reaches the end of the alley, and relief washes over him as he finally spots the familiar curled up pup tucked into a corner between the walls.
“Jongin!” he exclaims, squatting in front of the pup and extending his arm.
Taemin freezes when he hears a low growl emit from Jongin, his entire body tensing up.
“Jongin, please,” he tries, shuffling a little closer, but Jongin only presses himself into the wall and finally looks up at Taemin, only to shoot him a teary-eyed glare. “You're crying?”
“No,” Jongin grumbles out, voice strained. “Stay away from me.”
Frustrated, Taemin tries to reach for Jongin again, but his arm is shoved away forcefully. His forearm stings where Jongin's claws had stricken him and he hisses in pain.
“Jongin, don't do this,” Taemin murmurs, massaging at the aching spot with his other hand. He doesn't think Jongin's ever been this upset with him. “Please, I know you're sad since it was Saturday, our day, but--”
“No, that's not it!” Jongin lashes out, and for a minute Taemin thinks Jongin would attack him again, but no such thing happens. Jongin merely glares, cheek muscles twitching with anger. “You-- you and-- and him, you--” he stutters, eyes glazing over and it hurts to watch him like this.
“Yes, I know, I spent time with Jonghyun instead--”
“No, just-- just go away,” Jongin huffs finally, grabbing a handful of his own hair with both hands and curling in on himself.
Taemin opens his mouth to try to coax Jongin into forgiving him, but Jongin cuts him off before any words fall out of his mouth.
“I said, go away! Leave me alone! You're a bad human,” Jongin chokes out, and that's when his shell breaks, his tediously kept-up defence shatters.
Taemin watches in shock as Jongin's body is wrecked with unrestrained sobs, tears falling thickly from his eyes and trailing down his face. He yearns to reach out and cradle Jongin, hold him close, wipe his tears away, tell him everything was fine, but his own heart aches at Jongin's words.
There is only one kind of people that Jongin refers to as “bad” and Taemin feels all hope seep out of his bones as he stares hopelessly at the crying Jongin.
“I--,” Taemin utters, voice breaking. He tries again. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jongin.”
Stiffly, he staggers to his feet, holding onto the wall to keep his balance. He gives Jongin one last, long look before turning to walk out of the alley, drowning in self-hatred and regret.
There's a sound of scrambling and then Taemin's wrist is clutched tightly, stopping him in his tracks.
“Don't,” Jongin whispers behind him, eyes wide with fear. “I will be like-- I don't want to become like Chanyeol.”
Taemin's heart sinks as he turns to face Jongin and takes a tentative step towards him. When he's met with no resistance, Taemin lunges forward and envelops Jongin in his arms, tightly, securely.
“Chanyeol's owner is gone,” Taemin murmurs softly as Jongin's sobs start up once more, massaging his back soothingly. “I would never abandon you like that.”
“I know,” Jongin mumbles into his neck, then suddenly starts pushing Taemin away by the shoulders. Devastated, Taemin lets him, but Jongin doesn't let go all the way, holding Taemin at an arm's length as he struggles to look into his eyes.
“You and that human - Jonghyun - you're boyfriends with him and you kissed him and I can't - I hate it.”
Taemin shakes his head, but Jongin keeps going.
“I've always hated it, when you liked someone like that, but if-- if you have a boyfriend... I just can't handle it,” Jongin confesses, voice shaking, eyes on the ground.
Suddenly, a thought occurs to Taemin and he stares at Jongin open-mouthed, thinking back on all the times in which he talked about his crushes, only to be met with Jongin's wince, or the time where he had called a stranger on the street good-looking and Jongin refused to talk to him for the rest of the day.
Or how warmly Jongin always looks at him, how his gaze would be filled with what Taemin had always taken to be simple affection but now, maybe, just maybe, another possibility exists in his mind and he's surprised he hadn't thought of it before.
“Jongin,” Taemin says carefully, weighing his next words. “Do you love me?”
Jongin pouts. “Of course I do.”
“Do you love me the way a pet loves its master?” Taemin asks, fighting back a smile.
Jongin's cheeks flush and he wipes angrily at his eyes with his forearm. “...Yes.”
“Only in that way?” Taemin can't hold back his smile now, and Jongin glances at him uncertainly.
“Well... no,” Jongin breathes out finally, skin gaining even more colour and Taemin chuckles.
“How else do you love me?”
There's a pause, a beat of silence between them.
“I... I love you the way a b-boyfriend loves a boyfriend.”
Taemin watches the way Jongin sinks in on himself after he says those words, like he's expecting a rejection, waiting for Taemin to scold him. When Taemin says nothing, he chances up another glance, dilated pupils shaking. Taemin grins, his chest swelling with affection.
“I see,” Taemin says, tugging Jongin back into his embrace, arms gingerly wrapping around his back in a soothing hold. Jongin rests his forehead against Taemin's shoulder, breathing in deeply.
-
When they return back to their apartment, Taemin's a little surprised to find Jonghyun still there, sitting awkwardly on the sofa with both hands in his lap. He tells Jongin to wait for him in the bedroom and approaches Jonghyun, thinking through the words he knows he needs to say.
“I'm sorry, for leaving you alone here so suddenly,” he starts, and Jonghyun gets up to stand with him face to face with an uneasy laugh.
“I didn't steal anything, if you're wondering,” he jokes and Taemin allows himself a small smile.
“Thanks for that. But uh, we need to talk.”
Jonghyun regards him shortly, eyes searching, but then nods slowly. “I thought so.”
-
Sitting cross-legged on his small bed, Jongin rocks back and forth and tries hard not to eavesdrop on the conversation next door. He doesn't want to know.
He thinks it takes a little too long, starts feeling a little bit lonely, but finally there's the sound of a door closing and locking, and soon enough Taemin steps into the bedroom.
“Jongin. Come on, let's clean you up.”
Jongin relents, following Taemin to the bathroom and taking off his clothes without complaint, even at the intimidating steam of the water as it slowly fills the tub.
The silence between them is daunting, and Jongin blames himself for it. He had given in to his emotions too easily and said something he shouldn't have, and now he's left to wonder if Taemin would ever treat him the same way again. Every glance he throws Taemin's way is paid no heed to, and by the time Jongin's in the tub and Taemin is scrubbing at his hair, his mind is filled with regret and a full pout settles on his lips.
As Taemin reaches for the shower-head to rinse out the foam, he finally meets Jongin's eyes. “What's wrong? Are you still mad at me?” he asks, and Jongin thinks there's a lilt to his voice, as if he's teasing him.
“No?” Jongin offers half-heartedly, shutting his eyes tightly to protect them from the assault of the lukewarm water. “Are you?” he tries, chest tightening in anticipation of the response.
Taemin only hums, pouring some shampoo onto his palm. Unsatisfied, Jongin pouts again, ears flopping down in disdain. Taemin laughs, sitting himself against the edge of the bath, smearing the creamy liquid between both of his hands and reaching out to grasp Jongin's shoulders.
It's different from the other times. Taemin's hands are much more gentle than they usually are when he washes Jongin, palms kneading and fingers squeezing at his muscles in a tender massage.
Jongin's not sure what to think of it, so he sits quietly and accepts it, trying his best not to lean into Taemin's hands too much as they move down his back, over his chest. But the more Taemin presses into his skin, the more tingly it feels and when Taemin reaches his waist, Jongin's fighting back a full-on blush.
Taemin stops then, fingers looped in a loose grasp around Jongin's hips, and Jongin thinks his heart may give out under the pressure of anxiety, fear, excitement.
“Jongin.” Taemin's voice is even, and Jongin gulps at the sound. “I want to ask you something.”
Jongin waits, chewing at his lower lip as Taemin's fingers continue pressing into his skin.
“What you said before - did you mean it? That you love me as a boyfriend?”
Jongin thinks about the way Taemin cares for him, puts Jongin's needs before his own. He thinks about the way Taemin holds him every evening in an embrace he dares call loving. He thinks about the way Taemin is like his sun, the way Taemin looks at him with that gleam in his eyes and makes Jongin want to burn. He thinks about how Taemin is the only human to have ever shown him affection.
“I did,” he murmurs weakly, voice strained. “I do.”
Taemin responds by humming again, a thoughtful sound that has Jongin shifting to look up at Taemin over his shoulder. When he does, Taemin meets his gaze and leans down. Jongin's heart stutters into an uneasy rhythm when Taemin's face is close enough for their noses to brush, and then Taemin tilts his head and plants a soft kiss on his lips, short but lingering, promising.
Jongin doesn't really know how it happens, but one moment he's out of the tub being towel-dried by a grinning Taemin and the next he's being dragged into his master's bedroom, still fully nude. He gapes when Taemin motions for him to get on his bed.
“But-- I'm not allowed,” he chokes out, and Taemin grins wider, tugging him by the wrist.
“You are today.”
Jongin relents, shyly, climbing atop of the covers and blushing as the heavy scent of Taemin fills his senses. Taemin's lips find his again and the mattress feels soft as Jongin falls back against it, Taemin following swiftly along.
Jongin gasps when Taemin straddles him, the material of his jeans rubbing against his crotch. Taemin's hands are at his shoulders again, kneading, and it feels good, so good, but Jongin can't get himself to accept the situation just yet.
“Wait,” he mumbles, breaking the kiss and leaning his face to the side. “What- what about Jonghyun.”
“What about him?” Taemin asks, thumbs tracing along the lines of Jongin's collarbones.
“He's your boyfriend,” Jongin says, more bitterly than he intended, lips forming a pout almost involuntarily.
Taemin never stops smiling as he shakes his head. “Not any more. I broke up with him.”
Jongin raises himself up on his elbows, staring at Taemin carefully. “You did?”
“I did,” Taemin confirms, pushing Jongin back down. “Do you know what this means?”
Taemin kisses Jongin before he can reply, once, twice, then plants another kiss at the corner of Jongin's mouth and another at his cheek, his jaw, his neck.
Jongin shudders as Taemin's hands move lower down his body, brushing his sides in a teasing, barely-there touch before coming back up to palm at his chest. Taemin's lips are still at his neck and Jongin thinks he can feel the slightest graze of teeth on his skin.
“W-what,” he asks, back arching as Taemin's fingers wrap around one of his nipples, giving it an experimental squeeze.
Then without warning Taemin rocks his hips against Jongin's and oh.
The pleasure that spurts through Jongin's veins has him scrambling for purchase against the bedsheets, and the tiny prick of pain from the material of Taemin's jeans somehow only adds to it, has him fighting back the urge to move his hips in search of more friction.
“Taemin,” Jongin gasps out and Taemin pulls away from his neck to look at him. Jongin doesn't know what to say, feels too embarrassed to look into Taemin's eyes, so he just whines.
Taemin sits up and smirks when Jongin whines again at the added pressure on his hardening cock. He slips out of his shirt and throws it aside before shifting his position backwards and settling between Jongin's thighs.
“I don't have a boyfriend any more, Jongin. But you know I want to have one, don't you?” Taemin leans back down and mouths at Jongin's nipple, pressing his tongue against it before giving it a light suck. Jongin shivers, grasping at the bedsheets in an attempt at self-control.
“I know,” Jongin replies, voice shaky as he watches Taemin's mouth move lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses against his tummy. Then Taemin pulls away and brushes his cheek against Jongin's inner thigh and Jongin flushes. “Taemin,” he whines.
Taemin's hand wraps around the base of his cock, and he gives it a single stroke. It's enough to have Jongin gasp and arch off the bed again, and Taemin smirks as Jongin calls out his name in another stutter. He rewards him with a kiss to the head of his cock, teasing for a moment longer before he lets his lips part and slides his mouth down on Jongin as far as he can.
Jongin moans as the heat of Taemin's mouth envelops him, and before he can think it through his hand is already reaching to fist at Taemin's hair. Taemin groans in surprise and the vibration of the sound travels through his mouth, making Jongin buck up.
Taemin coughs when Jongin's cock brushes against the back of his throat, but doesn't release him yet, bobbing his head up and down and hollowing his cheeks for better suction. It barely takes any time before Jongin is tugging back at his hair.
“No, no-- I--”
Taemin takes the hint, sliding his mouth off Jongin with a pop and firmly holding him at the base. “Not yet.”
He holds Jongin in place until his breath evens out, then reaches for the night stand by his bed, opening a drawer.
Jongin watches as Taemin takes out a bottle and a few shiny packets and throws the items on the bed by his side. He glances at the bottle, eyebrows furrowing.
“It's brand new,” he comments off-handedly as Taemin settles back between his legs.
Taemin takes the bottle and pops open the cap. “Well, I still had a boyfriend this morning,” he responds and Jongin can tell he's stopping a smirk from coming on.
“So that's where you went earlier,” Jongin huffs and Taemin giggles at the pout that makes its way back onto his face.
As he watches Taemin pour the liquid into his hand and slick his fingers with it, Jongin finds himself embarrassed again and blushes when Taemin pushes at his thigh, spreading his legs apart further.
Taemin presses his fingers against Jongin's entrance, massaging the ring of muscle in circular movements. He catches Jongin's gaze before sliding a finger in, watching his reaction.
Jongin sighs at the unfamiliar stretch, but relaxes almost immediately upon feeling no pain. Taemin is careful all the same as he slides a second finger into him and Jongin cringes at the first budding ache.
Taemin's free hand suddenly wraps around his cock again and Jongin gasps, pushing his hips up into Taemin's languid strokes. He can feel Taemin's fingers stretching him from the inside, working him open until the pain fades out into a dull feeling of pleasure.
Just as Taemin pushes in a third finger and the pain momentarily comes back, Taemin presses against a spot inside of him that has Jongin trembling.
“Oh, please,” he breathes, hands grasping at the bedsheets and hips thrashing in a desperate attempt to get more of that delicious feeling. “Taemin.”
Taemin lets go of Jongin's cock to hold him down by the waist, pressing him into the mattress until he stills. Jongin chokes out a sob, but then Taemin curls his fingers again and Jongin cries out. This time Taemin doesn't stop, pushing into that one spot inside of him relentlessly over and over until Jongin's seeing stars.
His body slumps when Taemin finally pulls his fingers out, and he barely registers through blurry, tear-stained vision as Taemin moves to take off his own jeans and briefs and reaches for the lube.
When Taemin returns to his previous position, Jongin hooks his ankles around his waist and brings him closer impatiently. Taemin arches an eyebrow at him, but Jongin only manages a whine.
Taemin presses the tip of his cock against Jongin's hole, glancing up at him, and when Jongin gives him a quick nod, Taemin pushes into him in one fluid motion.
Jongin's voice is ripped out of his throat in a pained groan, and Taemin hurriedly leans in to kiss him tenderly, whisper a reassurance into his lips. Jongin holds onto it, wrapping his arms around Taemin's neck and swaying his hips to urge him on.
Taemin pulls out and thrusts back in, setting a slow, leisurely pace, just enough to get Jongin used to the stretch, and it isn't until he feels Jongin relax beneath him that he allows himself to speed up, thrust in a little deeper, snap his hips a little harder.
Jongin's breaths come out in short gasps, his hands clawing unconsciously at Taemin's back with every thrust in. Taemin is groaning into his neck and his cock fills Jongin up oh so well, but Jongin can feel how close Taemin is to brushing that spot inside him and he whines at the building frustration, legs wrapping around Taemin's waist and urging him further in.
Taemin suddenly stops thrusting and sits up, and Jongin's confused for all but 0.5 seconds during which Taemin grabs him by the thigh, pushes his leg up so his knee is pressed into his chest, and starts canting into him again.
The change in the angle has Jongin feeling all sorts of new things and he squirms, running a hand through his hair and spreading his legs just a little bit more to give Taemin better access.
Just as he does, Taemin gives him a particularly hard thrust and Jongin gasps at the burst of pleasure coursing through his body from that one sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Yes - please,” he manages, hips moving in attempt to fuck back against Taemin.
Taemin moans and fucks into him harder, hips snapping forward in quick succession. Jongin keens and pushes back and writhes until tears fill his eyes anew.
“Fuck, Jongin - I'm close. Touch yourself,” Taemin orders suddenly, and Jongin scrambles to obey, wrapping a fist around his neglected cock and stroking himself into a rhythm that matches Taemin's thrusts.
Taemin's movements grow erratic and Jongin feels heat coil in his stomach. He gives himself a final few strokes, bucking into his own hand as he comes in spurts, body shuddering. A few more uneven thrusts and he feels Taemin's warm come inside of him even through the thin layer of latex.
Taemin pulls out and takes the condom off, tying it into a knot before throwing it off the bed and laying back next to Jongin.
For a while neither of them speak as they come down from their high, the sound of their rapid breathing the only thing that fills the room. Eventually Taemin sits up just enough to sneak under the bedsheets and lays on his side, facing Jongin. Jongin casts him a sideways glance.
“Don't look at me too happily, will you,” Taemin chuckles and it's enough to get Jongin to shift underneath the covers and shuffle closer until their bodies are pressing together. Taemin snuggles into the crook of Jongin's neck and Jongin wraps an arm around him firmly.
Taemin doesn't know how much time passes, but his eyelids grow heavy and his body is pleasantly warm against Jongin's, and he's this close to falling asleep before Jongin's murmur brings him back.
“If you want a boyfriend, why can't it be me.”
And it's still full of bitterness and Taemin can practically feel the pout on Jongin's lips and he can't help but laugh, nuzzling into Jongin's shoulder.
“Yes, okay. It can be you.”
He thinks Jongin grumbles something else under his breath but he doesn't catch it. But Jongin remains close to him, tucking his chin against the top of Taemin's head, his arm still possessively wrapped around Taemin's back, and that's enough to lull Taemin into sleep once again.
-
When Jongin wakes up, he's alone in the bed and fear pounds at his chest before he can even open his eyes properly. He sits up, rubbing at his eyes and glancing around the room, and when he doesn't spot Taemin anywhere, a whine begins to tremble at the back of his throat.
“Jongin?”
Jongin's attention snaps towards the door and a few seconds later Taemin walks in, dressed in a loose grey shirt and boxers, a towel around his neck and blond hair dripping with water.
A sigh of relief escapes Jongin, and he watches as Taemin makes his way to sit on the edge of the bed. Taemin's eyebrows are knitted in worry and his gaze is soft when he looks at Jongin.
“How are you feeling?”
Jongin smiles appreciatively. “I'm fine.”
Taemin smiles back. “Good.”
But there is a dull ache at his back and Jongin thinks it might hurt more if he tries to get up. And he's not all that thrilled at the prospect of another bath.
“I'm still tired,” he announces, reaching out to shyly grasp Taemin by the wrist. “Stay?”
Taemin thinks about it, considers his own freshly-cleaned self and Jongin's just-woken-up state, but Jongin's puppy eyes always held a soft spot in his heart, so he throws the towel back and allows himself to be pulled along to lay by Jongin's side.
Jongin holds him close, breathing in the scent of Taemin's bodywash and the underlying, softer scent of his skin.
“Taemin,” Jongin coos in a way which Taemin knows means he wants something. He hums in response. “You - yesterday, you said I can be your boyfriend. Does that mean I am?”
Taemin laughs and pulls away to look into Jongin's eyes. “Oh god, Jongin.”
“What,” Jongin grumbles, using the puppy eyes technique again.
Taemin rolls his eyes. “Well, do you want to be?”
Jongin's gaze flickers anywhere but at Taemin and his cheeks flush. “Yes.”
“Then yes, you are. You're my boyfriend. Okay?”
Jongin nods in satisfaction, pulling Taemin back in and cradling him in a full-body hug. Taemin grins at his eagerness but accepts the gesture willingly, sighing as he relaxes against Jongin's hold. “Great. Now I'll probably need another shower.”
“Since we're boyfriends, we can do it together.”
Taemin laughs again and wonders briefly why it had taken him so long to realise Jongin's feelings for him, his own feelings for Jongin, how perfect they could be.
“You're right,” he relents, supposing that as long as they could be together like this, it didn't really matter.
To Taemin, Jongin is, after all, like the moon - a constant presence even at his darkest hours, and always there to bring some much-needed brightness to his life.
a/n: welp there it is, omgod i've never written taekai before but i hope i did them justice!! orz