It is possible to drink milk up your nose and shoot it out your eye. I have seen it

I was at the lake today with the family. We noticed a couple who had managed to knock themselves off the jet-ski and were having serious trouble getting back on. For those of you who dont' know, watching someone attempt to get on a jet-ski from being in the water can be extremely funny. My and my uncle were laughing when i realized that the jet-ski ( Read more... )

so i came home a little earlier than usual and was pleasantly surprised. My parents and all the neighbors were having a little get together complete with a fire and by the time i arrived they were all smashed. I love them drunk. My parents are a 1000 times better intoxicated. My mom is ridiculous, talks loudly about everything, she's the ( Read more... )

Things to do before I die: sit in a giant puddle of lime juice. Check

first, there's a mexican at work and i love her. She's like a cartoon. She's tiny and well educated, she even lived in london for awhile so she's a blast to talk to. She's married and has two children and is the most boy crazy person i have ever met. She regularly has me in tears. The best part is she hasn't quite figured out the difference between ( Read more... )

Why INdian holy city gets through 600,000 condoms a day

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3934275.stm

I am a fool

so i was in lex, and visited shmay. she will live with E (aka elizabeth) and i dunno, think it's abby, anyhow these are the boyd chicks that frequent prov. and state street. Now, their house used to be a small church, but a small church makes for a big house, so they have this room that is absolutely huge and absolutely perfect. Bar included. They ( Read more... )

Looked under my bed and was surprised to notice the amount of cute heeled shoes i have. New goal in life: find places to wear them. This is going to be fun. Shoes are great

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down ( Read more... )