There was a time, only a moment ago, when everything was right in the world. Actually, far from right, because you're not exactly a paradigm of sanity and happiness these days and there's a very real possibility that you're about to lose your job and will have to move to the other coast. Ok, so, things were hardly good, but they were bearable and you were dealing.
But now the realization hits and you figure out the initials and your ability to hold it all together shatters like the glass that slips from your hand and smashes on the floor.