Ten Ways Dan Tells Casey to Fuck Off (Without Actually Saying So) by quiesce

[quiesce]

1. Dan hits the 'volume up' button on the remote every time Casey opens his mouth.


2. Casey finds the door to their office shut. He could open it -- the door doesn't have a lock -- but the printout of the floorplan of the Sports Night offices taped to the door with Casey's actual office circled in red marker tells Casey that maybe he shouldn't go in just yet.


3. Casey's near-complete set of Sounds of the ___ CDs mysteriously ends up in the garbage.


4. Dan makes exactly enough coffee for one and pours himself a cup while Casey's in the shower.


5. The LoneStar station manager was a crass man who made sure everyone he talked to was aware of his view of the world -- a view which differed greatly from Dan's. He was avoided as much as possible, but Dan and Casey had been told in no uncertain terms that skipping any of the parties his wife threw was not an option. By means of ensuring that they'd still have jobs following said parties, Dan and Casey developed a set of hand signals so that Dan could be rescued before telling the manager exactly where he could stick his politics.
   
   It's been a few years since they've had to use their hand signals -- Dana and Isaac are reasonably adept at running interference for Dan -- and Casey's a little rusty, but he's fairly certain that the part of the signal Dan's giving him now is the bit that means "kindly fuck off" and not "please come rescue me before I tell this jackass to".


6. Dan leaves a jar of honey on the desk. Granted, Casey's allergic to bee stings and actually likes honey, but the message is clear.


7. Dan silently mouths "vacuum" whenever Casey looks in his direction. It's totally not his fault if it happens to look like he's saying something else.


8. Casey uses his key to Dan's apartment and discovers that the security chain -- which Dan never uses -- is barring his entrance. He could kick the door in and make a scene, but that'd only make things worse and it's probably better to wait until tomorrow. Plus, it'd be really embarrassing if he kicked the door and couldn't get it open. Definitely better to wait until tomorrow.


9. Casey's homepage is set to the official Late Night with Conan O'Brien website.


10. Dan spells it out YMCA-style and the moment is completely ruined when they both burst out laughing when Dan can't figure out how to signify that there are two F's in "OFF".