Things I Want to Tattoo to the Eyelids of Certain Groups of Individuals:
1. Fuck you, you're not special. Unless you lack or have an extra chromosome, or are of an entirely different species of organism that cannot be found anywhere on this Earth, you are not unique. No matter what you do or say, you will never be special or unique-- deal with it. Don't try to convince others of that really awesome mental illness you have-- the rest of us are unconvinced and unamused. Harking back to my earlier point, unless, you have a terribly rare disease, it is likely that whatever you have, people have had it worst. And even then, you are still not in the slightest bit special, because, whatever rare ailment you claim to have, someone has had it first. I don't give a shit about how high your supposed IQ is, or even if you were a fucking polyglot, no one owes you shit-- if you want respect or wish for the rest of the world to treat you better, go out and fucking earn it.
2. Yes, I get it-- you want to seem "insane" and "dangerous", but blindly quoting Nietzsche and declaring yourself a misanthrope without knowing exactly what that means just makes you seem foolish and desperate. Fuck it, I don't care about what brilliant philosophical tidbit you want to throw at me today, because, well, no matter what you say, it is likely that someone has said it before, and even phrased it in a much more pleasing and eloquent manner-- so cut that shit out. No one on the Internet or in real-life, cares about your attempts at purging yourself of all your emotions, seriously, and considering how you at least still wax lyrical about life and despair at every chance you get, I don't think you are bound to succeed in this little endeavour of yours anytime soon. Also, get your terms straight: being a hedonist and a nihilist are entirely two different things, bro.
3. FUCKING GO BACK TO KINDERGARTEN AND RE-LEARN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, MOTHERFUCKER. THAT IS ALL.
4. As difficult as this might be to believe, I have a sense of humour. Among the things that I can laugh at include Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Monty Python skits, Kevin Smith's Dogma, and Arrested Development. Occasionally, some Internet memes make me laugh as well, but only if they are very well done. So, don't accuse me of not having a sense of humour, because I do, really, it's just that you aren't fucking funny. No, dropping f-bombs and saying "bitch" and "faggot" and shouting random-ass things at the top of your lungs isn't funny-- amusing, perhaps, in the sense that it'll be quite a scene when the local authorities come clobber or taze you to death, but funny? No, just fucking no.
5. Goddamn it. Yes, I used your God's name in vain, and I'll use it again and again until I've sufficiently dealt with all this pent-up rage. Now, I don't have anything against your God, or gods, as it were, really. What I simply ask is that you respect my faith, or rather, lack thereof, and I will yours. It's so terribly simple a thing that I cannot fathom why you don't SEEM TO COMPREHEND it when I refuse, say, to visit a temple, or something similar. SERIOUSLY, WHY YOU DO THIS GAIZ, WHY?
6. For fuck's sake, stop worshipping the ground a simple mortal man treads upon. It doesn't fucking make sense. People like you are the reason why women are still considered as gushing lunatics, seriously. What you feel now is more than likely your hormones kicking in, sparking off what is nothing more than an obsession with a man who is simply playing an idealised version of a man. WHY THE FUCK would you declare your "love" for someone you've never met in real life? Consider this for a moment: if the guy in question were true to his actual character, and not the one he is playing-- would you still have the hots for him? I would really doubt it. So, cut that shit out and stop posting asking people for relationship advice with your imaginary lover over the Internet, goddamnit.
7. FUCK YOU ALL WHAT THE FUCK. FUCKKKKK.
