october contest: Clavicle, Supermarket, Motif

[snakewhissperer]

A prompted ficlet for Brigit's flame, using the three keywords :Clavicle, Supermarket, Motif

The aspiring writer

Comments

[allmuzedup]

awww so sweet. did you know my nickname is samantha jane? *quirks my eyebrow*

[snakewhissperer]

Nope ;-)

[fawatson]

There is a poignancy to this story that made me catch my breath.

[snakewhissperer]

Thank you!

[snakewhissperer]

Thank you, and thank you for reading!

[aquarius_galuxy]

Awww darn, I hope things will go right for Jenny! =P Writing as some sort of confession is a good idea, and it'd be nice if you'd write the outcome of the ficlet! =p I liked the part where Samantha's and Julie's conversation turned quiet, it felt potent! =p

[snakewhissperer]

in my world, it will. there are happy endings...they may take a while to appear, and be unpleasant to get to, but they are there.

*Grins*

With another challenge, I might just write the outcome of this one.

[aquarius_galuxy]

Oooh, that's good to hear! =D

Edit!

[selkie_queen]

Hi, I'm one of your editors. I loved the story in a story and the frustration of the writer. I'm curious if you felt that way writing it or if that was just part of your muse's plan.

First thing I noticed was when the girls are listing their costume ideas you use a lot of fragments. "A belly dancer or an angel." is better, unless she is adding angel as an afterthought, in which it would work better as.
"A belly dancer," she replied. "Or an angel" She added with a saucy grin.

Second, with Samantha grinning. I think it should be "Samantha replied with a saucy grin."

Also with the weight, I'm not sure about how it goes in the UK, but I though the stones should be plural possessive "Three stones' worth" because it is the weight equivilent of belonging to three stones.

Other than those three things, the story read wonderfully. Excellent use of the prompts.